Saturday

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
 

 

 

 

 

 
 

"About Last Night ..."

1986

Scoop's notes: Although he's never won or been nominated for a Best Director Oscar, and none of the pictures he's directed have been nominated for the Best Picture Oscar, Edward Zwick is about the best director you never heard of, unless you're an industry insider. The guy has never made a bad movie. This one is rated lowest at IMDb, and it's a damned good romantic comedy, except maybe for a wooden performance by Rob Lowe in the male lead. Roger Fucking Ebert gave it FOUR stars!

  1. (8.10) - Glory (1989)
  2. (8.00) - Blood Diamond (2006)
  3. (7.80) - The Last Samurai (2003)
  4. (7.40) - Defiance (2008)
  5. (7.00) - Legends of the Fall (1994)
  6. (6.60) - Courage Under Fire (1996)
  7. (6.54) - Leaving Normal (1992)
  8. (6.10) - The Siege (1998/I)
  9. (5.81) - About Last Night... (1986)

Zwick runs neck-and-neck with Terry Gilliam for the honor of having been fucked over the most by the Academy. Glory was arguably the best movie of 1989, and was certainly among the best five, but neither it nor Zwick were nominated for Oscars. The winner that year was Driving Miss Daisy. Of course, the Academy seems to have been even more out of touch that year than usual, since they basically missed ALL of the year's best films, including Branagh's incredible Henry V. (NOMINEES IN THE HIGHLIGHTED CELLS)

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) 8.3
Glory (1989) 8.1
Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989) 8.0
Do the Right Thing (1989) 7.9
Henry V (1989) 7.9
Grand Day Out with Wallace and Gromit, A (1989) 7.8
My Left Foot: The Story of Christy Brown (1989) 7.8
Dead Poets Society (1989) 7.8
Field of Dreams (1989) 7.7
When Harry Met Sally... (1989) 7.7
Batman (1989) 7.6
Driving Miss Daisy (1989) 7.5

(If you are very fastidious about details, you've noted that only four films are highlighted. The other film nominated for an Oscar that year was Born on the Fourth of July, which is rated 7.1, and is not in the IMDb top twenty for the year, although it probably should be.)

Anyway, back to About Last Night ...

Here's my review

And here are Aesthete's endeavors:

Unknowns: film clips only

Demi Moore: many film clips. Collages below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wild Wild West

1999

I don't know about the rest of you, but I never get tired of looking at Salma Hayek and her spectacular cleavage like in "Wild Wild West", nice little bum shot too. Caps and an HD clip.

 

 

TV Land

Over in TV Land newsbabe Alisyn Camerota with some leg on "Fox & Friends". Caps and an HD clip.
 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

I'll Never Forget What's-His-Name

1985

Marianne Faithful

Scoop's note: Before Winona Ryder came along, Marianne was probably the single rock groupie who accomplished the most in her own right. A famous quote: "'My first move was to get a Rolling Stone as a boyfriend. I slept with three and decided the lead singer was the best bet."

 

The Eyes of a Stranger

1981

Jennifer Jason Jeigh

Scoop's notes: This film featured JJL pre-Ridgemont. The actual star of the film was Lauren Tewes of the Love Boat, doing her one and only lead in a theatrical movie. (It grossed one million dollars, and Lauren went back to her old job with Captain Stubing for several more years.)

 

Coup de Torchon

1981

Irene Skobline

This is generally considered to be Bertrand Tavernier's best film.

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing But Trouble

Nothing But Trouble (1991) was an entertaining movie, better than the 4.0/10 User Rating it has at the IMDB.

There is no nudity but plenty of cleavage by Demi Moore

and an upskirt by Deborah Lee Johnson.

Perilous

There is some nice nudity in Perilous (2000).

Rona Waddington is topless

but we only see some side-boobage by Catherine Oxenberg.


Hawaii

Lots of topless women in Hawaii (1966), many unidentified.

Two that could be identified are Elizabeth Logue

and Lokelan S. Chicarell.

 

Dangerous Attraction

There are a few topless women in Dangerous Attraction (2000).

Andrea Roth is in her underwear

(but the topless scenes are played by her body double, Adrienne Board)

 

Marya Delver

and Denisa Ronzani

and some unidentified women are also topless.

 

Born Romantic
 


Born Romantic (2000) is a British movie.

There is no nudity but Olivia Williams is in her underwear

Hermione Norris shows some cleavage

and there are some small pokies by Jane Horrocks.

 

 

Call Girl
 


From Portugal we have Call Girl (2007).

Soraia Chaves is the topless, high-priced call girl.

Halima (aka Halima Abboud) was a topless stripper

and there is another unidentified stripper.

 

One Out of Two


One Out of Two aka Uno su due (2006) is an Italian movie and we see a topless Anita Caprioli from the side.


 


Monsieur N.

From France we have a topless Elsa Zylberstein in Monsieur N. (2003).


 



Looking for Cheyenne


Also from France is Looking for Cheyenne aka Oublier Cheyenne (2005).

Breast exposure by Mila Dekker

and Aurélia Petit.



 


Naked Sins



This soft-core features a group of porn actresses starring in Naked Sins (2006). Unfortunately, not the greatest quality but the ladies are naked.

The actresses are Jordan Styles,

Julie Meadows,

Kaylynn

 

and Nicole Oring.


Tales from the Crypt

Continuing the Tales from the Crypt TV series, completing the second series.

Series 2 Episode 6 The Thing from the Grave

Teri Hatcher - lots of lovely cleavage

Series 2 Episode 7 The Sacrifice

Kim Delaney - wearing very little

Series 2 Episode 8 For Cryin' Out Loud

Katey Segal - some leather and cleavage

Series 2 Episode 9 Four-sided Triangle

Patricia Arquette - pokies and see-through nipples

Series 2 Episode 11 Judy, You're not Yourself Today

Carol Kane - nice

Series 2 Episode 13 Korman's Kalamity

Cynthia Gibb - cleavage

Series 2 Episode 15 Mute Witness to Murder

Patricia Clarkson - nice

Series 2 Episode 17 My Brother's Keeper

Trixie Hall - leather and chains


 

 

 

 

 

 
 

Deadly Embrace

(1989)

Part 1 of 3

Clips from a videotape of Deadly Embrace (1989). 'Tis a distinctly odiferous cowpie of a movie starring that guy who played Stringfellow Hawk opposite Ernest Borgnine in the television show about a high tech helicopter. What the f*** is his name? No matter because he sucks. Reminds me of that South Park episode where the town's people eat Eric Roberts because "no one gives a shit about Eric Roberts." Well I would have to say even fewer people give even less of a shit about whatever his name is.

So why bother with this nonsensical pile of bovine manure? It has Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer nekkid, that's why. Michelle's usual after-market equipment is on display, as is her all-natural and wonderful tush. Gal had a killer caboose. Third topless gal is Ty Randolph, aka Mindy Miller. Remember her in a bit part in Body Double, where she played, well, a body double? Here she plays a neglected wife - married to good ol' what's his name. She boffs this younger guy - Linnea's boyfriend - and I think either kills or gets killed, perhaps both, but I wouldn't know because once I was certain I would see no more of Linnea or Michelle nekkid I hit eject so quickly a rip in the time-space continuum developed over the Eastern U.S. This crapola was written and directed by a pair of guys (David DeCoteau and Richard Gabai) who have had a hand in 100 of the worst movies ever made - average score hovering near 3.0 on IMDb. In that context, they seem perfectly worthy of some serious AIG bonus money - say, maybe 50 mil each.

Today's nudie: Linnea




Scoop's notes:

1. I think Brainscan is talking about Jan-Michael Vincent above. What the hell ever happened to that guy? Is he still alive? IMDb says: "His last film to date was the woeful gang movie White Boy (2002), and ongoing health issues and personal problems seem to preclude his return to the screen."

2. Director David DeCoteau is truly one of the worst. Here's how he stacks up against the legends.

  # IMDb credits Median IMDb score
David DeCoteau 44 3.16
Fred Olen Ray 80 3.27
Uwe Boll 22 2.57
John Derek 5 2.82
Ed Wood 11 3.34
Jim Wynorski 62 3.43
     

Think of it in terms of a seeded competition. We'll give Boll and Derek a free pass into the semis for their sub-three averages. In the wild card battles for the two remaining spots, DeCoteau beats Ed Wood, and Ray defeats Wynorski. In both match-ups, the winner has more films and a lower score. That leaves the top four guys in the table above to duke it out for the championship.

Boll takes Derek head-to-head. More films, lower scores.

The other semi is impossible to call. DeCoteau and Ray are so even that the winner can vary with even the slightest variation in weighting the variables.

3. Choosing between them is like trying to choose between Ray Oyler and Casey Wise as the worst major league hitter of all time. How bad were those guys? They couldn't even see the Mendoza line. Mario Mendoza retired with a lifetime batting average of .215. Pretty weak, you think? Oyler and Wise finished at .175 and .174!

Of course, Mendoza had no power at all, and never walked. In the one year he was a regular (148 games), he had only nine walks all year, and one homer. As a result of those factors, Mendoza's lifetime OPS of .507 was actually lower than Oyler's .509

Still and all, Wise crushed them both with .483. I'm inclined to give Wise a slight edge over Oyler for the bottom spot, but Al Kaline played with both guys and I'd love to ask him which was worse.

Kaline played with Wise in 1960, when Casey hit a thundering .147, and he played with Oyler in 65-68, a string which Oyler capped by a .135 average in 1968. His SLUGGING average that year was .186. Oyler trumped Wise in one respect because he went over .200 in one of his six campaigns. Wise never did accomplish that in four major league seasons. Oyler's "big" year tends to be cancelled out by the fact that he went below .100 in his swan-song! He had very few at-bats that year, but still ... he was on the roster for the entire year, and had at-bats in every month! (Hey, would you be handing him the stick if you were the manager?) Oyler was actually, literally hitting zero on August 4th (and remember he batted in every month), but caught fire and got his average up as high as .111 on September 9th, only to slump back to .083 at season's end.


 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Stickmen

(2001)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

Superdupermodel Magdalena Frackowiak, topless under some gauze.

Film Clips

If you've been waiting to see Brenda Blethyn naked, here's your chance. The movie is Between the Sheets. Also in that film: Julie Graham.

This has nothing to do with celebrity nudity, but I enjoyed seeing this ancient clip of Jennifer Aniston in the eternal classic, Camp Cucamonga. Even though Aniston shows no skin, there's a little bit of cleavage from the guy who played Cliffy on Cheers.

Isabelle Pasco in Les Coleurs du Diable