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Tuna
"Bonnie and Clyde" (1967)

Bonnie and Clyde (1967), number 194 in the top 250 of all time at IMDB with a score of 7.9/10, managed two Oscars and 7 more nominations in a very tough year that included "In the Heat of the Night," "Doctor Doolittle," "The Graduate," "Cool Hand Luke," "The Dirty Dozen," "Barefoot in the Park," "Thoroughly Modern Millie," "In Cold Blood," "Camelot," Valley of the Dolls," and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner." If a critic dared to award less than 4 stars, their typing license would be revoked. Trend setting in 1967, it holds up well today, partly because it is a period piece, and mostly because it is a nearly perfect film.

It is the somewhat romanticized story of real life depression era bank robbers Bonnie Parker, Clyde Barrow, and the rest of their gang. Clyde had just been released from prison, where he had been serving time for armed robbery, when he caught Bonnie's attention while stealing her mother's car. She was immediately smitten, as was he -- she for the excitement and a chance to get out of a backwater town and waitressing, and he because she was the best looking and cockiest woman he had ever met. In one of the two controversial elements in the film, we find that Clyde is impotent, and the parallel is drawn between impotence and guns as a substitute penis. The two began a robbing spree together that barely afforded a living. The first bank that Clyde robbed to impress Bonnie had failed, and had no money.

Things escalated when they killed someone getting away. In a pivotal scene, Bonnie runs away from Clyde and the gang into a corn field. Clyde chases her, and, as he catches her, a cloud bathes them in shadow, foreshadowing their violent death. This would be much less impressive today, when computers can supply clouds and drop shadows anywhere you need them, but, in 1967, microprocessors had not yet been invented. This was either dumb luck, or a lot of patience waiting for the exact shot. The violent death caused a lot of controversy at the time. It was a rallying point for the hippie generation proving that the establishment was evil, and many said it was gratuitously violent. Some projectionists played it in slow motion, making the gunfire last for two to three minutes. There was a great deal of media hype for this film, and the Flatt & Scrugs recording of Foggy Mountain Breakdown, which was the theme used during the chase scenes, blared from every radio for months.

By the time I saw it, my expectations were so high that no film could meet them, and I was a little let down. In retrospect, this is a more thoughtful film, with more depth, then I recalled. It also has less action and less violence than I remembered. Maturity makes me notice different things, and Bonnie and Clyde well deserves it's classic status. I give it an A.

The DVD has both widescreen and full screen versions, and lots of extras. The two versions relate directly to the exposure from Faye Dunaway as Bonnie, and also hint that soft matting was used in the widescreen theatrical release to limit the exposure. I have never seen an actress spend that much time nearly nude in clear light and moving around without exposing a breast before or since. If you study this you can see the shadow of her nipple through the window and the top of her panties in the full screen frames, but, in the soft matte widescreen frames, they chose to crop out even this limited exposure, although they could have as easily taken the image from lower on the negative. The real exposure (image 1) is only three frames where you see clear breasts through a wet blouse after Bonnie has been shot and is escaping. There are also a very few frames where you can make out a breast through a dressing curtain (image 7).

  • Thumbnails

  • Faye Dunaway (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "Grand Canyon" (1991)

    I am afraid there is no point/counterpoint here between Scoopy and myself. I agree this is a brilliant film. The most amazing thing about it for me is that it holds my interest despite having essentially no plot, and no central conflict. It does have a lot of honesty, and manages to make me like nearly every character. One of the things that ties the collection of somewhat inter-related characters together is a central theme. I think Danny Glover as Simon summed it up when he said, "The bad shit is going to happen no matter what. If you are lucky, there will be some good stuff too." The film is all about the importance of perspective, and the Grand Canyon is used to show that, from a broad perspective, we and our troubles are pretty small.

    I have to give this a solid B. Unless you hate this genre, you should see this film.

  • Thumbnails

  • Mary-Louise Parker (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    New to DVD

    AND THE UGLY

    No nudity in the genuinely weird Dancer in the Dark. Shamelessly manipulative melodrama from the "you must pay the rent", "I can't pay the rent" school of drama, in which Bjork plays a woman who is tied to a railroad track, and everyone else plays Snidely Whiplash, twirling his moustache. Oh, yeah, and it's also a 1930's musical comedy, from that supreme Naked Emperor, Lars von Trier. I wrote in my summary that it is Fargo meets The Sound of Music. I don't know whether it's any good or not, but nobody can deny that it is different. What else can you say about a sometime gay musical romp about a woman who is impoverished, slow, handicapped, abused, manipulated, and ultimately hanged for a crime? Think of it as "Springtime for Manson", as photographed by Katharine Hepburn with a hand-held camera. Four stars, or maybe none. I don't know.

    THE GOOD

    Speaking of shameless emotional manipulation, Remember the Titans. A pretty good movie, also with no nudity (Disney). I recommend renting or buying the DVD, not based on the movie itself, but based on the second full-length commentary by Bill Yoast and Herman Boone. Who they hell are they? Well, back around 1970, one of them was a white coach who lost his head coaching job to the other man, the new black head coach. They made quite a team, and quite a friendship that has lasted 30 years, long enough for somebody to make a movie about them, and for them to get a chance to comment on the accuracy of the film, on the making of the film, and about the reality upon which it is based. The very reason why DVD exists, and kudos to the Mickey Mouse Boys for doin' it right.

    THE BAD

    There is no nudity in American Vampire. Considering that it's a summer-type straight-to-vid comedy aimed at the college market, and stars Batman and Lady Rodman, you have to ask yourself "why not". Whoa, bummer, dude.

    There is no nudity in Lucky Numbers. Not much of anything else, either.

    • Lisa Kudrow - nice, near-escape. She has a great figure. Too bad we don't get to see more of it. (1, 2)

    NONE OF THE ABOVE

    There is some nudity in Inventing the Abbots. It's brief, but its nice and it involves Jennifer Connelly. Like Coppola's "The Outsiders", the movie is going to be remembered someday for the cast before they were famous. Crudup, Joaquin Phoenix, and Liv Tyler are all pretty well known now. This year, they starred in movies by Cameron Crowe, Ridley Scott, and Robert altman respectively. But they were pretty much unknown at the time this film was made. Gotta love Crudup's job. Twice in his career, he's gotten to do nude scenes with Connelly (here and Waking the Dead). It's a tough and dirty job, but someone had to do it.

    • Connelly (1, 2)

    Graphic Response
  • Fiona Lewis, topless in scenes from the 1975 Ken Russell film "Lisztomania".
  • Nell Campbell, also topless in "Lisztomania".
  • Jennifer Rubin, topless in scenes from "Delusion" (1991)
  • Tally Chanel, full frontal nudity from 1987's "Warrior Queen". Here's a great B-cast: Donald Pleasence, Samantha Fox (not the British pop-star, the other one), Sybil Danning, Josephine Jacqueline Jones, and the Deathstalker himself...Rick Hill.

  • Hugo
    Olivia Williams
    (1, 2)
    Beautiful 'caps of Olivia featuring breast and bum exposure, from "The Postman".

    Tracey Hutson Fantastic 'caps of Tracy as Marilyn Chambers from "Rated X".

    Mary-Louise Parker Brief topless scene from "The Five Senses".

    Britt Ekland Topless in the original version of "Get Carter" (1971).

    Jimmy the Saint
    Pippa Guard Topless scenes from the 1981 UK movie "An Unsuitable Job for a Woman".

    Rachel Griffiths Full frontal, and rear nudity in scenes from "Among Giants".

    Clotilde Coureau Topless and partial rear nudity in scenes from "Fred".

    Anouck Lepere See-thru nipple exposure from the model. Apparently Russian sailor hats are "in" this year.

    Skease
    Patrica Arquette
    (1, 2)

    Scenes from "Stigmata"

    #1 features some very nice breast and bum exposure from the deleted scenes.
    #2...Look in the tub scene up top, there seems to be a nipple sighting if you look through the splashing water.

    Winona Ryder An excellent job 'capping Winona's only, and all too brief nip slip. These frames are without question the best part of "Autumn in New York".

    Hilary Swank From the movie "Heartwood". Supposedly there is a nipple sighting if you look through the bushes. I zoomed and squinted and finally did see something. But that could have been my brain playing tricks on me. I chalk this one up into the same category as those Magic Eye puzzles.

    Robin Tunney Breast exposure from the sci-fi dud, "Supernova".

    Samantha Robson Some full frontal, and lots of topless nudity from a home movie. Here's the scoop:
    Samantha co-stars in the long running UK cop show called "The Bill". Apparently, her ex boyfriend made this home movie and sold it the a British tabloid.

    Mr T.
    Several weeks ago Brainscan submitted some scans of Brandy Ledford, aka Brandy Sanders, aka Jisel. Here are some old scans of Jisel from her Pet of the Month spread in May, 1990. According to her bio she's "part Cherokee Indian, French, and New Zealand Maori" and she was 21 years old at the time these photos were taken.

  • Jisel (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

  • Miaou
    Nadia Farès
    (1, 2, 3)

    Excellent topless and rear views in scenes from "Elles n'oublient jamais" (1994).

    Sophie Forte Brief nipple exposure from "Recto/Verso" (1999).

    Julie Gayet Some very nice partial exposure, plus with a little imagination, I think there is a nipple sighting in the bubble bath images. Scenes from "Les Deux papas et la maman".

    and ...
    Heather Graham Skin tight top and pants, plus a sexy demonstration of her flexibility on Kilborn.

    Angelina Jolie The familiar breast exposure scene from "Hackers".

    Mia Kirshner

    Sofia Vergara

    Two lovely scans from the December Maxim, by Inquisit.

    Victoria Comments and image by The Snapper:
    Here is a topless scan of Britain's current leading aristocratic bimbo, Lady Victoria Hervey (sister of the Marquess of Bristol, no less).

    Sara Stephens Great 'caps by Watty of Sara appearing topless in "The Hunt".

    The Funnies
    Life Reflections by George Carlin
    1.Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

    2.I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

    3.I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

    4.I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

    5.Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

    6.I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

    7.Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

    8.Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

    9.You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

    10.I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

    11.One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

    12.They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

    13.Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

    14.A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".

    15.Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore


    The New Math
    Postulate #1 Knowledge is Power
    Postulate #2 Time is Money

    Accepted Work/Time = Power
    then: if knowledge=Power and Time=Money we have work/money = knowledge
    solving for money we have: Work/ Knowledge= Money

    Simple division then shows: As knowledge approaches zero, money should approach infinity.


    You know you are in California if:

  • You make over $250,000 a year and still can't afford a house.
  • It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work and hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
  • You're favorite news channel features coverage of at least one high speed chase per day.
  • Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
  • You can't remember... is pot legal?
  • You've been to a baby shower for an infant who has two mothers and a sperm donor.
  • You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
  • You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
  • You can't remember... is pot legal?
  • A really great parking space can move you to tears.
  • The guy in line at Starbucks, wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses, and looks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney.
  • Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
  • Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, and you Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
  • It's sprinkling out, and there's a report on every news channel about "THE STORM!"
  • Hey... is pot legal?
  • Over 85% of the cities, towns, and streets start with San, Los, El, La, Santa, De La, or De Los.
  • Two overcast days in a row drive you mad.
  • A family of four owns six vehicles.
  • Everyone who lives here knows that hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and snowstorms are way worse than earthquakes, which are, after all, over almost as soon as you realize what's happening.
  • Even if the store is across the street, you drive there.
  • Yeah, you're sure...? pot is legal.

    Q. How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A. Why bother, the next rolling blackout will be here any minute.


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