Saturday

Poultrygeist

2006

Severed limbs, dangling intestines, festering sores, excrement, vomit, semen, blood, naked obese people on the toilet, zombie chickens, cannibalism, offensive racial stereotypes, decaying corpses, people having unfriendly encounters with meat slicers  ... and songs, songs, songs!

Who else could churn out such sleazy, vulgar nonsense but Lloyd Kaufman, the Troma baron?

If you don't like the gross-outs, well, there's also slapstick comedy, satires, plenty of exaggerated characters, calculated degeneracy, and enough shameless over-acting to embarrass Roberto Begnini.

Or perhaps you prefer nudity and sex of all kinds: masturbation, straight sex, three-ways, and hot girl-on-girl action. In fact, whatever else one says about this film, one must concede that the nudity is cute, with no sign of silicone, and the sex scenes can be quite witty. These scenes are among the movie's best moments.

  1. Kate Graham is topless (and Jason Yachinin shows his butt) in the opening graveyard scene.
  2. Elske McCain flashes her breasts momentarily.
  3. Kate Graham and Allyson Sereboff get topless and join Yachinin in a fantasy three-way.
  4. The topless musical number is damned entertaining. It features Kate Graham (who can actually sing!) and Allyson Sereboff again. The background dancers include Anna Olson, Kristin Kinnaird, Kailin Smith, Lauren Michelle Watts, Lori Schuler, Melanie Syph, Stacy Koerner and Tina Crapsi. That's eight names listed in the credits, but there are only seven girls. I don't know which one is missing.
  5. Anna Olson comes out of the chorus line to unleash her mammoth breasts in her own moment.
  6. Finally, Kate Graham and Allyson Sereboff are seen topless one last time in a brief fantasy sequence.

And somewhere in there, between the tits and the bodily fluids, there are a few good jokes and some pointed social criticism. Writer/producer/director/actor Lloyd Kaufman believes in throwing all the cinematic pasta up on the wall, in the hope that some of it will stick. Kaufman explained some of his theories about scattershot filmmaking in this CBC Q&A excerpted below:

Q: Your style could be characterized as “everything including the kitchen sink”: slapstick, one-liners, musical numbers. Who are your main cinematic influences?

A: I think Preston Sturges is all over our films. His fond satire of American life is running through our films. I think Capra, too, has influenced our films. There’s a sweetness to our movies, there’s a sympathetic side to all our characters, which is part of the reason that we’re still here.

Q: Any tips for aspiring young filmmakers?

A: There’s no doubt you have to grovel in this business. But I’m good at it. I’m good at giving blowjobs to distributors. Hitchcock did it. Picasso did it. Van Gogh couldn’t do it, so he cut his ear off and blew his brains out.

Q: You sing and dance in Poultrygeist. What prompted you to cast yourself in the movie?

A: I’m reliable; I know I’ll show up.

Actually I disagree with the interviewer's first question about "everything BUT the kitchen sink." Lloyd would never forget to include the kitchen sink in some depraved way. Some of Lloyd's answers were delivered with his tongue buried in his cheek, and some of them are meant to be taken ... well, not "seriously" exactly, but with less irony than the others.

The basic plot outline of Poultrygeist involves a fried chicken franchise built upon the site of a sacred Indian burial mound (get the parallel to Poltergeist?) Not that the plot matters much. That premise really exists only to provide a loose framework for skits and gross-outs. And that's kind of a shame, because Poultrygeist, while not a good movie, has the core of a genuinely good comedy buried somewhere within its calculated ignobility. In fact, after about a half-hour of this film, I was really enjoying it for all its flaws, and thought it was going to be a really funny oddball musical, in the same spirit as Trey Parker's Cannibal, the Musical. There are several moments in the early going that I found truly inspired. For example, there are a couple of funny musical numbers (one topless), and a very funny opening scene in which two high school seniors spoon in a graveyard:

Oh, Arby, you're the best dry-humper in school.

Thanks, Wendy. That's what the guys on the basketball team say. (Pause) Wait. Who else have you been dry-humping?

Um ... (Non-plussed, she kisses him to distract him, then looks around.) Hey, are you sure we're safe here in the middle of the night?

Sure! Nobody has even come up here since those horny teens were decapitated ...

Unfortunately, ol' Lloyd Kaufman never knows when to shut off the faucet of bodily fluids, and every good joke is drawn-out well past the point when it could have ended up funny. Imagine if you will, two different gross parodies of The Sound of Music. In the first, the kids and Julie Andrews sing a happy, sappy parody song for three minutes until they are all decapitated within seconds. That might be funny, but Troma would not do it that way. In the Troma version, the family would sing one note, then be decapitated, then fall around for three minutes spurting blood, shit, and vomit on one another while their severed heads sing the song.

The Aristocrats!

Everything at Troma is done to excess. It's their trademark. It's what their die-hard fans expect.

But it's also the reason why they have to cut and market their own DVDs.

 

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Rowing With the Wind

1987

Today we have a very young Elizabeth Hurley showing off the breasts Hugh Grant called "the best in London."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blow

(2001)

Penelope Cruz looks sensational in Blow. She keeps some of her clothes on but there is a slight nipple poking out.

 

Monet Mazur

 

and Franka Potente look good,

but the topless nudity comes from some unidentified women.

 


 

Superman III

(1983)

Naturally, no nudity in Superman III but Pamela Stephenson shows some sensational cleavage

and Annette O'Toole shows brief pokies.

 


 

Breaking Up

(1997)

The first of two Breaking Up movies, this 1997 movie stars Salma Hayek. No real visible nudity but Salma looks sensational with a possible areola showing. In my next life I want to come back as a leotard!

 

 


 

Breaking Up

(2002)

There's more nudity in the second Breaking Up, which is a Brazilian movie aka Separações (2002). Some nipplage by Priscilla Rozenbaum

and Nanda Rocha.

 


 

Strokes of Fire

(2002)

Strokes of Fire aka Chihwaseon (2002) is a South Korean movie. There is dark topless nudity by an actress who I couldn't positively identify. I think it is Kim Yeo-Jin. The Korean version of the movie's web site identifies the actress but the English version does not, and my Korean is zilch.

 


 

Another 48 Hrs

(1990)

Some nice topless nudity in Another 48 Hrs (1990) by Page Leong

and Kitten Natividad.

 


 

Marie-Jo and Her 2 Lovers

(2002)

Plenty of full nudity in the French movie Marie-Jo and Her 2 Lovers, aka Marie-Jo et ses 2 amours (2002).

Ariane Ascaride is one actress

 

and the skinny dipper is not identified.

The movie follows the European tradition in which the credits consist of a list of names with the roles not identified.

 


 

Escape: Human Cargo

(1998)

There is no identifying the topless bronco rider in Escape: Human Cargo.

 


 

 

Busty Models

(2007)

Plenty of more naked ladies in the soft-core Busty Models including Augusta Avila

Chloe Morgan,

 

Dee,

Lisa Ann

and Monique Alexander.

 

 


 

"Married with Children"

 Series 6 Part 1

Episode 1 - She's Having a Baby Part 1

Christina Applegate - sexy

Episode 2 - She's Having a Baby Part 2

Christina Applegate - pokies

Lisa Saxton - cleavage

Episode 3 - If Al had a Hammer

Bobbie Phillips - cleavage

Episode 4 - Cheese, Cues, and Blood

Christina Applegate - pokies and lovely legs

Episode 5 - Lookin' for a Desk in All the Wrong Places

Renee Tennison, Rosie Tennison, Tonya Offer, Lisa Saxton - cleavage

Episode 6 - Buck has a Belly Ache

Christina Applegate - legs

Joey Lauren Adams - pokies

Episode 7 - If I Could See Me Now

Christina Applegate - sexy

Episode 8 - God's Shoes

Christina Applegate - very sexy

Megan O'Hara - very sexy

Episode 9 - Kelly Does Hollywood

Christina Applegate - nice legs

Donna Eskra, Heather Grimes, Kari Wuhrer, Lisa Fuhrman, Georgi Irene - nice legs

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

Here are the Audrina Patridge pics sans watermarks:

 

Andrea Sawatzki in Helen Fred und Ted

Britney - hint of areola
We borrow Hank's time machine to  head back to Marisa Tomei's first screen nudity - actually an accident, I suppose, in Untamed Heart

Film Clips