Monday

Our own Academy Awards

  • The Academy of Naked Picture Arts and Sciences, consisting of me, awarded our own statuettes to the women who showed the best goodies at the Big Show. No names. Have fun guessing. Here's the award for goofiest looking woman of the night. (Just edging out Degeneres.)
  • Here's the award for best looking woman of the night. I think I'm going to desert Cameron for this woman.
  • Best look through a dress.
  • Best look through a sweater.
  • Best low-cut dress.
  • Best cleavage, excluding Whoopie, who has great cleavage, but I can't bear to look.
  • Best effort from a nipple to escape.
  • Best effort from the side of a breast to poke out.
  • Best nipples poking through fabric.
  • Fabulous collage from R?ddler.
  • One more of Zeta, because it's my page, dammit.
  • (No picture) Classiest moment: Warren Beatty giving Elia Kazan a standing ovation for his moviemaking. If Beatty had been a hair older, he himself would have been blacklisted. Beatty's politics are only slightly to the left of Trotsky. If anyone could harbor ill feelings, it would be Beatty. He showed he could separate the two issues, as many people cannot, and he showed a spirit of kindness and forgiveness that the world needs more of. Well done, Warren.
  • (No picture) Silliest moment: I know Judy Dench is a fine performer who deserved a statue for "Mrs Brown", but why didn't they give it to her then, instead of for her five lines in "SIL". Pretty much anyone could have done the tiny, exaggerated part. Given the androgynous nature of Queen Elizabeth's mature years, I could have played the part, although I'm a foot too tall. Well, I guess with another foot on me, Muresan couldn't have played the part, but Billy Crystal would have been OK, except he'd have had to stand on a crate.

    • Johnny Web's Grade-B Adventure

  • Feelin' a bit under the weather today, so I'll load up the pics and keep the commentary briefer than usual. Johnny Web is up with his usual assortment of the forgotten, the bim, the would-be, the never-were, the screamers, the women who are rarely seen without subtitles under their heads. This lady is no longer a star of any kind, but she was notorious in her day, and she still looks great. This is a current picture of the 60-something Mamie Van Doren
  • one more of Mamie.
  • this is Jennifer Young, daughter of Gig Young. In high school she lived that whole 90210 thing for real. She shot down Nic Cage as her prom date. She's possibly most famous, or infamous, as one of the tell-all Hollywood babettes featured in "Once More With Feeling", the sequel to "You'll Never Make Love in this Town Again"
  • Jennifer Young.
  • Jennifer Young.
  • Jennifer Young.
  • Deborah Shelton in "Blind Vision". Her usual obscure movie. Some guy is peeping on her. That seems to be a mainstay of her career.
  • Deborah Shelton in "Blind Vision". Although she seems to get naked quite a bit, she never seems to do a nice, full-on nude in good light.
  • Donna Wilkes in "Murder by Mail".
  • Donna Wilkes in "Fyre" .
  • Pam Grier in "Black Mama, White Mama". Pam's natural presence and great body surely enlivened the awful movies she was in. The question is, how did they keep getting her into those awful things? I don't think that was such a good era to be black. I don't remember so clearly, but it must have been harder for her to cross over than it was later for Denzel or Will Smith.
  • Catherine Keener, "Living in Oblivion" .
  • Sadie Frost, "Flypaper" .
  • supermodel Brandi Quinones, pretty much topless. Lovely pictures. I guess I never noticed she was this beautiful.
  • Supermodel Navia Nguyen. These are some seriously weird-ass pictures. She's well on her way to a career as the Asian Milla. No, check that. Milla is eccentric, but she isn't scary. Let me call her the Asian McMenamy.
  • Navia Nguyen.
  • Navia Nguyen.
  • Jill Hennessy. Not a Johnny Web scan, but this seems like a good place to stick this in. I promised one of our regulars I'd re-run her runway mishap.
  • Well, we've had models of all sizes and ethnicity, so here's Kiara Kabukuru to round out the set. Nah, she's not Japanese or Hawaiian, her name just kinda sounds that way. She's a statuesque beauty from Uganda.
  • Halle Berry exposed under the flashbulbs.
  • Ines Sastre paparazzi.
  • asian supermodel Hsu Chi. She is gorgeous.
  • more of Hsu Chi. Rumor has it she's gonna give it a try in the States soon. As of now, she's the Taiwanese star of softcore and erotic grade-b flicks in Hong Kong, and she's only 22, after having made more than 20 films!.
  • Monster-chested actress Lisa Marie. I'm sure Pepper will correct me if I'm wrong, but I think those puppies are the real McCoy
  • Daisy Fuentes exposed by the flashbulbs.
  • a very strange Runway shot of Bridget Hall.

    • The Missing RDO cap

  • I forgot this RDO pic yesterday, because it isn't from Last Tango. Here is my list of the three worst decisions ever made.

    The third worst: Napoleon's decision to invade Russia. 600,000 went there in military dress, 10,000 came home in rags. If he had just left Russia alone, this page and every other web page would now be in French.

    The second worst: Lucifer's decision to challenge God. If Lucifer is so fucking smart, you'd think he'd have had a better grasp of the term "all-powerful".

    The worst: Tatum O'Neal's decision to do this nude scene in "Circle of Two"

    • Rossol

  • I've pointed out that Rossol hasn't been sending us stuff that long, and that we don't have alll his material on file. He was nice enough to oblige us by sending along everything else he's done. Here's Corinne Fleury in Serie Galant
  • Missy Crider and Laura Vasquez in "The Beast". (Sorry, just bikini shots)
  • Laura Vasquez in "The Beast". (more bikinis) .
  • One more of Vasquez and Crider in bikinis.
  • Michelle Pfeiffer in "Tequila Sunrise".
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    Master Bagger

  • Bagger is not the first guy to cap Nicole Kidman in Billy Bathgate, but he really brought a nice aesthetic to his collage.
  • this is fresh. Polly Shannon in Outer Limits.
  • Arielle Dombasle in "Red Shoe Diaries". She is one good-lookin' woman.
  • Master Bagger also debuts all of his work on our site, and I think the subscription area probably has every item he's ever done. One way to start would be to go to the back issues and search for "Master Bagger" and set "all". Just about every search result should be relevant to your search. Another way to find them would be to go back through the Monday editions. The same site includes the Encyclopedia, the fakes, the Mardi Gras, and the rasslin' babes.

    • Aussie

  • Aussie hasn't been feeling well lately, but he sent along two for our pleasure. Here's Amanda Douge in "That Eye the Sky"
  • ...and Joely Richardson addding to the Richardson family nudity legacy, in "Lady Chatterley".

    • A secret friend

  • This fellas sends in tons of great stuff, but wishes to remain anonymous. Here are four scans that prsent an entire magazine article about Ornella Muti, words and, oh yeah, some pictures too/
  • Ornella Muti
  • Ornella Muti
  • Ornella Muti. What would the article be without a full-fromntal nude?
  • Here's another article, this one including the famous paparazzi pics of Gwyneth. They aren't new, but if you haven't seen them, you must. I was very pleased to see her win the Oscar. In the past, I've felt she was overrated, but she was just pure luminous movie star in this movie. Tell me you wouldn't fall in love with her yourself. Yeah, Scoop, but is she better than Streep? Hell, no, of course not. You and I know that. If God came down on the planet, he would only be the second best performer, after Streep. Streep may be the greatest performer of any time in any medium. On a scale of 1 to 100, she's 100, and Olivier is about a 75 (well, maybe 85 if you throw out "The Betsy"). She studies every nuance, every gesture, every syllable to make sure she has it exactly right. She'll do things like hire six dialogue coaches to keep correcting her accents. Her performance in "One True Thing" is brilliant, as always. Now that I've said that - what are we gonna do, give it to her every year? That wouldn't be much fun. Besides, the Oscars are about charisma, not just talent. I love Streep, but she has about as much charisma as John Major. Gwyneth is lovely, a nice person, smart, telented ... let her enjoy the statue.
  • more of Oscar babe Gwyneth Paltrow
  • and one of Alba Parietti, for good measure
  • same theme, but not from the secret guy, Sophie Rhys-Davies, future princess, in some British tabloid pics. No nudity. Rumour says there are topless ones not far behind.
  • Sophie Rhys-Davies.
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    Sunday's Stuff with Uncle Scoopy

    Sir Realist

  • The Realist is churning 'em out like Scanman these days. As he points out, he visits the art houses so we don't have to. Greater love than that no man hath. His first target is Natasha Richardson. She has to be approaching the Sonia Braga level of nudity. It's almost like you can count on some flesh if you see her name on the movie box. (Well, she didn't get naked in "The Favour, the Watch, the very Big Fish and her cook and his lover and Ted and Alice", but (1) she did play a woman who dubbed in orgasms into porn films, and (2)I'm not absolutely sure we can call that a movie) Personally, although I think she's interesting, I don't think she's all that beautiful, and I find her occasional lapses into baby talk to be quite irritating. But she does get naked a lot, so all else is forgiven. Here she looks good in "The Comfort of Strangers"
  • Natasha Richardson, "The Comfort of Strangers".
  • Natasha Richardson, "The Comfort of Strangers". The guy with her is Rupert Everett, the guy who played Marlowe so wittily in "Shakespeare in Love". To our female readers - sorry ladies. He is a hunk, but he's - how shall I say this - a confirmed bachelor.
  • Natasha Richardson, "The Comfort of Strangers". This movie has "menacing" down to a science. Hire Harold Pinter to write the screenplay, and get Christopher Walken to deliver the lines. Set it in Venice late at night, where every corridor seems to lead into a desolate, foggy, dead-end, and every road is a waterfront. Shoot every camera angle with a weird twist. Have a tracking shot sneak through an alley and come upon the young lovers, or have doors and windows being opened by unseen hands. Plenty of close-ups of potential murder weapons. You get the picture. I liked the movie, although it is certainly not a mass market offering. Brilliant use of Venice as the backdrop for the story. Probably the most fully realized Pinter on film.
  • Polish Wedding. Claire Danes. Claire did do a topless scene. It didn't attract all that much attention because you really can't tell when Danes is topless (I don't mean to suggest she should be bigger. Just noting that she has no chest. Personally, I like it). Look at the scene. there's her (tiny) nipple clearly visible on her tiny chest.
  • Polish Wedding. Claire Danes. More of the same. Damn these nighttimne shots. I think Clinton should sign us an executive order mandating natural or intense light in all nude scenes. C'mon, Bubba, where's that horny streak when we need it?
  • Polish Wedding. Claire Danes. This is the much-capped scene where she bends over while wearing her nightie. Danes did a good job in the movie, but it was a waste of her time.
  • Polish Wedding. Claire Danes. I don't know if you can see anything here or not. Probably not, but how can you tell? God, was this movie irritating. It is supposed to take place in contemporary Detroit, but the characters' attitudes, and the fact that the streets are safe at night in run-down neighborhoods, suggest that it actually took place in the 1950's or something. The accents are hilarious. Now, mind you, I've spent an awful lot of time in my life hearing Polish people speak English, and it irritates me that Lena Olin is so far off. She has these rolling Hungarian r's, and these throat-clearing Yiddish "ch" sounds. (By the way, Streep got the Polish accent exactly right in Sophie's Choice, as she always does). Olin is Swedish, of course, and she had an impossible task. I couldn't do an Irish accent in German, for example. On the other hand, Gabriel Byrne did pretty well in some scenes, then dropped the accent altogether in other scenes. He obviously realized that this movie was no Sophie's Choice, and he did what he had to do to get a paycheck, no more. Redeeming his performance, his scenes with Claire Danes (his daughter) were touching and natural, and the only genuine things in the movie. Olin does kind of a larger-than-life female impersonation of Anthony Quinn in Zorba the Greek.
  • Susan Anspach's shower scene in Montenegro. This movie is a domestic nihilist black comedy, meant to be a surreal Strangelove-like look at the brain-numbing effects of middle class life. Anspach looked great as the bored American housewife married to a Swedish millionaire businessman in Stockholm. She falls in with some crazy Yugoslavian immigrants, and takes a walk on the wild side. This director should have made great movies. He had great talent, and this movie showed tremendous ability. His next movie, "The Coca Cola Kid" was not totally awful, but then he never did live up to his potential. The IMDb says he's now teaching at Harvard.
  • Susan Anspach. All of these scenes are dark, but they are really Anspach - full frontal in this group.
  • Susan Anspach. Here's the full frontal with an artificial light filter, just to get a look at it
  • Susan Anspach. Various shower caps
  • Susan Anspach. Lovemaking scene. Her breast is in the light, but you can't see her face at all.
  • Montenegro. Patricia Gelin. You may have seen caps of this scene where she does an exotic naked dance with a radio controlled dildo. One of the frames shoots right up her naughty bits.
  • Montenegro. Patricia Gelin.
  • Montenegro. Patricia Gelin.
  • Montenegro. Marina Lindahl.
  • Montenegro. Lizbeth Zachrisson.
  • Mercedes Ruehl. "The Fisher King". With all due apologies to the Python group, this is probably Terry Gilliam's best movie, (although some of the others are funnier, of course). It features great performances from this lady, Jeff Bridges, and Robin Williams, and don't miss the ballroom scene in Grand Central Station. This is Elya's favorite American movie, and the all-time #1 favorite of a couple of good friends of mine, so it really has some true believers.
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    L'Helvete

  • The Swiss Dude has some great material for us again this week, none of it related to Army Knives. The first group is from "Trop (peu) d'amour", and this is Alexia Stresi. I don't think this movie is available on DVD, so the quality here is very impressive for caps from a VCR.
  • "Trop (peu) d'amour", Alexia Stresi. The movie is roughly translated as "Too much (little) love". It was nominated for a "Best Director" award at the 1998 Berlin Film festival. Jacques Doillon has been at at for 25 years now, and was nominated for a Cesar in 1990 as director of "Le petit criminal". Another film of his, "Ponette", won the 1997 NY Film Critics Award as best foreign film, and was honored at several festivals. Doillon's son, Lou, was in this film. The boy's pedigree is strong - mother is screen legend Jane Birkin
  • "Trop (peu) d'amour", Alexia Stresi. I don't know of any other movies she was in.
  • "Trop (peu) d'amour", Alexia Stresi and Elise Perrier. they are in the water together. (Perrier water?)
  • "Trop (peu) d'amour", Elise Perrier. I don't know of any other movies for her either, I guess because inventing water kept her too busy.
  • "Trop (peu) d'amour", Elise Perrier.
  • Florence Darel in "Farinet heros et hors-la-loi"
  • Florence Darel in "Farinet heros et hors-la-loi". This is a 1991 movie directed by Ivan Butler, which is ignored by the IMDb, and of which I know nothing.
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    RDO

  • What better place to search for screen nudity than in the DVD of "Last Tango". The movie was the subject of heated debate. Conservatives were outraged by the sex scenes, and "pass the butter" took its place beside "squeal like a pig" as an instantly recognizable euphemistic movie reference for a certain sexual practice. Other critics accepted the sex scenes, but blasted the dark, boring, actionless story. Still others hailed it as a groundbreaking masterpiece. I think you would find the truth in the middle of the road. It may not be a fully realized masterpiece, but it's sometimes a powerful movie, and it featured arguably the greatest performance ever captured on film. Many great critics, like Pauline Kael and Roger Ebert, have called Brando the greatest screen actor of all time, and this could be his most controlled and honest performance. He has a "dialogue" with his dead wife, beside her bier, that had me in tears. He just had all that pain and despair and confusion right out there. It's something to see - all the acting technique disappears and he just becomes that guy. He actually performs the first part of the film in French, although people have told me he has a very strange accent, even by American standards. As for the sex scenes - they aren't really about sex, but about power and manipulation and despair. Brando uses Schneider as an instrument to act out his feelings about the suicide of his wife. Here is the scene where Brando uses the buttered buns.
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Bertolucci himself has had a career as diverse as the reviews of this movie. 1900 and The Last Emperor really can be called masterpieces, although there is no unanimity on this issue. On the other hand, The Sheltering Sky is a lame, superficial adaptation of a deep and complex novel. I still say the range record is held by Franklin Schaffner, who made "Yes, Georgio" (a legitimate nominee as the worst movie ever), and "Patton" (a reasonable choice as one's favorite movie, and currently in the IMDb top 100). Schaffner's rating range in the IMDb goes from 5.1 to 8.1, while Bertolucci only varies from 6.9 to 8.7. IMDb viewers liked Sheltering Sky much more than I did.

    Just in passing, the narrowest range must go to Soviet filmmaker Andrei Tarkovsky, who has no film rated below 8.0. If they had enough votes to qualify for the list, every one of his films would rank higher than Wizard of Oz, which is number 33 of all time. Don't go out and rent them, boys. I've seen a few of his movies, and they're not for everyone. His pacing makes Ingmar Bergman look like an action director. Philosophical and artistic, but strictly art-house stuff.

    The most consistent in the other direction has to be John Derek, late husband of Bo and other gorgeous women, who has no movie rated higher than 4.3. Let me put that in perspective. Plan 9 from Outer Space got a 4.3. and John Derek never cleared that hurdle. And the sad thing is that he was a lot better director than actor! Dust off one of those lifetime achievement awards for that guy. On the other hand, given a choice of a lifetime of brilliant filmmaking or a lifetime of screwing Andress, Evans, and Bo, most of us probably feel he drew the winning hand. Did you know that he and Bo were married more than 20 years?

    Back to the point, here's the scene where Brando gets the butter and greases her up.

  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Just before the sink scene, Schneider looks for Brando's ID.
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. She sulks by the sink.
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. More of the sink scene
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. She sites naked on the sink.
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Brando grabs her from the sink and spins her around, thereby showing us some fun stuff
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Brando bathes her while she stands
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Brando bathes her while she reclines in the tub.
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. She dries off.
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. The sitting lovemaking
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider, relaxing on her back.
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider, recounting her dream.
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Her masturbation scene
  • "Ultimo tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Brando takes her.

    • PAL

  • PAL's search for new material brought us a couple more treasures this week. Here's Barbara Carrera in "Point of Impact".
    • Saturday's Stuff with Scoopy Jr

    Political Silliness

  • Sr. sent this over to me earlier. I enjoyed it, and I think you will too!

    • From Aesthete

  • You can see her on the big screen with Buffy in "Cruel Inattentions", or save yourself 8.50 and see Reese Witherspoon here for almost nothin' in these topless DVD 'caps from the movie "Twilight".
  • DVD 'caps of Reese Witherspoon from the movie "Twilight" #2.
  • DVD 'caps of Reese Witherspoon from the movie "Twilight" #3.
  • DVD 'caps of Reese Witherspoon from the movie "Twilight" #4.
  • DVD 'caps of Reese Witherspoon from the movie "Twilight" #5.
  • A special bonus! No worries Susan Sarandon fans! Even though Reese has the younger more shapely body, Aesthete didn't overlook one of Hollywood's favorite red heads! Most frames show off her posterior side. (or possibly a stunt butt?) However.....
  • ...This last one does have a topless, albeit blurry vidcap of Ms. Sarandon topless. (Scoop's note: sarandon's scenes are known to be body doubles)

    • More From Italian Beauty

  • Thank you everyone, especially IB himself for helping me identify my favorite of his gallery yesterday. For those who didn't know her...she is Elenoire Casalegno. Here is one more of her to add to the collection.
  • I couldn't help myself...here is a second helping of yesterday's Elenoire Casalegno images.
  • Elenoire Casalegno #3.
  • Now this is a real treat! A B-movie Euro actress! Here is Veronica Logan. It may seem silly to our viewers overseas, but basically any actress in a movie with an accent is considered to be a good actress by Americans. We just don't know any better sometimes. So it's nice to see someone pointing us in the right direction. After all, A-list actors stick around for ever...But it's the B-babes that show the skin, and make up the back bone of the Fun House!
  • Veronica Logan #2.

    • From Abys

  • I have never heard of this lovely, and looking at her filmography, neither has anybody else. Regardless, she's not too shabby, and Abys did a great job on these 'caps. Here is Stephanie Swinney in "Blood Run".
  • Stephanie Swinney in "Blood Run" #2.
  • Stephanie Swinney in "Blood Run" #3.

    • From Crow

  • Need a Bimbo fix? You can always count on Crow! Here is Gabriella Hall, buck nekkid from "Love Me Twice 2". On a side note....the IMDb currently lists her as being born in 1898 and departing this good Earth in 1967. Indeed.
  • Gabriella Hall in "Love me Twice 2" #2.
  • Gabriella Hall in "Love me Twice 2" #3.
  • New on video...here are 'caps from one of the sequels to "From Dusk Till Dawn". Here is the busty Maria Checa.
  • This sequel is" From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money". It's not the "official" sequel (due later this year, and co-written by Robert Rodriguez), it's just one of those straight-to-video deals. But in my book, Bruce Campbell is a hero, and since he's the star...that makes this "official" to me!
  • One more of Maria Checa in the shower.
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