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Tuna
"L'Humanité" (1999)

For those who enjoy something unique, rather than the same old formula film, this is one for your consideration. Pharaon De Winter is a policeman (actually chief investigator) in a small French town, and has been called to a murder/rape scene. The victim is an 11 year old girl. The director lets us know immediately that this will not be an ordinary film. Pharaon is so shaken from what he finds, that he is nearly unable to function, then we are shown what he say in a nice long closeup. We see a between the legs shot of the victim with leg bruises, a bloody, hairless vagina, and ants crawling on the corpse. The image is every bit as disturbing as it sounds.

Pharaon lives at home with his mother, and is close to two people, Joseph, and his girlfriend Domino. Pharaon is quiet, kind, and sort of bland, while Joseph is far more outgoing and aggressive. Domino likes sex, and is close to Pharaon. The film runs for well over 2 hours, and crawls through the plot line -- Pharoan and his department try to discover who killed the little girl, and the three friends hang out together. Along the way, the factory that Domino works in goes on strike. Without revealing whodunit, that is pretty much the plot. We see Domino from nearly every angle while having sex to Joseph, and a near gynecological shot when she offers herself to Pharaon.

Sounds like the film would put you to sleep, but, despite the slow pace, it kept me on the edge of my seat. Writer/Director Bruno Dumont says, in an in depth interview, that he doesn't tell everything about the characters in the film, because he wants his audience to become involved with the characters, and try to figure things out actively. This, I think, is what held my interest. The film is beautifully shot, and the sex scenes are very convincing, down to loins slapping together.

Ebert gives 3 1/2 stars, and applauds the character Pharaon. Pharaon would like to take the entire worlds burdens on his shoulders, but is not able. He is smart enough to see how bad things are, but not strong enough to fix them. The film swept Cannes with Grand Jury prize, best actor and best actress. The film peeked at 4 screens in it's US release, and total gross was $113,495.00. Obviously, this is not a film for everyone, and is not a great companion to beer and popcorn, but is a well made character based drama with very interesting characters. I will give it a B-.

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  • Severine Careele (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    New to DVD

    I have no new comments on Gorky Park.

    • Joanna Pacula (1, 2)

    The other movie for today is Ivory Tower.

    Even those of you who don't belive in God probably do believe in a natural order of the universe. The two rocks dropped from the Tower of Pisa will hit the ground together, hippos don't fly, and Julia Roberts will be the only one in her family to take home one of those best actor statuettes. It is the consistency of the universe that is the basis for all human learning, and all human survival. We are here now because our ancestors managed to figure out that they should adopt puppies and avoid sharks, rather than the other way around.

    But modern scientists have been grappling with the issue of chaos, beginning with the ability of man to recognize unpredictable elements in the universe, and to manage them. For example, a drop of water on the exact gravitational top of a perfect sphere- which way will it travel? We don't know, but recognizing our inability to predict this improves our ability to learn and survive. We may even be able to use the very unpredictability of certain things, like sub-atomic particles, as part of our advancement as a species.

    The problem arises when we fail to distinguish the predictable and the chaotic, and so it was with me and "Ivory Tower". I knew it would be bad. But I also knew it had Kari Wuhrer in it, so I didn't think I needed any chaos theory to determine that she would show her breasts. Grade b movie, r rating, starring Kari Wuhrer - you know she's going to show the goods, and you hope other women will follow her esteemed leadership..

    Lo, and behold, I turn my back for five minutes and the natural laws of the universe are repealed. Rivers run up hill, dogs can outrun light, yuppies hate Starbucks, and Kari Wuhrer kept her breasts covered for the entire movie.

    Only two questions

    1. if you have a female role that requires no nudity, how did Kari come up to the top of your casting list?
    2. why did Kari take the time and trouble to get the best breasts money can buy, only to keep them covered?

    Ivory Tower is a dreadful movie. Lower quality than a made-for-network-TV flick, trying to cash in on interest about the microchip industry and industrial espionage. Michael Ironside plays a new V.P. hired to manage a loose high-tech organization to greater efficiency. His Draconian ways cause dissension and intrigue and that kinda discordant shit. Or maybe the new guy is even more than he seems to be. Is he working for the competition, or ........ There is a surprise ending. It may fool you, but if it does please call me because I have some property I'd like you to take a look at. Actually, you may be surprised, but you surely won't care.

    The movie is so low-rent that they have the wrong title on the DVD menu (Ivory Towers instead of Ivory Tower). Wouldn't you think they'd look that up?


    Charlie's site is updated

    Blackshine
    Another excellent batch of fashion babe scans. All but one by famous photographer, Helmut Newton.

    Vivien Solari A sexy nip slip.

    Rachel Williams Full frontal nudity.

    Simonetta More full frontal nudity.

    Simonetta and Reneé Simonetta doesn't exactly hold a place on the Scoop Jr's World's 100 Sexiest Babes" list...but Reneé on the other hand has a dark skinned, leggy quality that might be worth a look.

    Assorted Babes
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    From Helmut Newton's "Domestic Nudes" series. All of these feature excellent full frontal nudity. Of particular interest are:
    #3 To borrow from Comic Book Guy...this babe is sporting the "worst implant scars ever".
    #5 The only image of these 5 in color...And boy is it ever!

    Kristen McMenamy
    (1, 2)

    Two full frontal poses. #1 in B&W, and #2 in color.

    ZonononZor
    Debi Diamond

    Nina Hartley
    (1, 2)

    April Rayne

    Lisa Lipps

    This is a cool collection of B&Ws of a few very famous porn stars. Don't worry, they are not "porning", just posing. Although I think Lisa Lipps' boobs may still break a few local obscenity laws in the Bible Belt. Personally I agree, implants that big are just wrong.

    Miaou
    Valérie Kaprisky Topless in scenes from 1982's "Légitime violence".

    Alexandra Kazan Brief topless sighting in "Les Braqueuses" (1994).

    Nozha Khouandra
    (1, 2)
    Vidcaps from "À mort la mort" (1999). Views from just about every angle except the gyno-cam

    Valérie Leboutte
    (1, 2, 3)

    Brief nipple sighting, plus some bare bum exposure in scenes from "Louise et les marchés" (1998).

    Scanman
    Irène Jacob
    (1, 2)

    Beautiful breast exposure, plus a side order of more southernly exposure in scenes from 1991' "La Double vie de Véronique".

    Karoline Eichhorn
    (1, 2)

    Full frontal nudity in vidcaps from "Der Sandman".

    D'oh!
    For those who may have missed these yesterday due to my goof. I promise, I'll get my eyes checked soon.

    Claire Forlani New to me 'caps of breast exposure from the movie "Into My Heart".

    Jayne Brook Topless in the shower, also from "Into My Heart".

    and ...
    Jennifer Love Hewitt
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    JLH fans should be mighty pleased with the acreage of cleavage she displays in the new movie "Heartbreakers". In particular I think the fans will enjoy link #1 the best. Although the rest are all very nice as well (like #4 for example).

    Thanks to D Slack for links 1-3.

    Sigourney Weaver Sigourney plays JLH's mom in "Heartbreakers", and also likes to strap on the skimpy outfits. Again, thanks to D Slack.

    Elle Macpherson Fully nude, and fully pregnant. But don't worry, this is a really cool and artistic scan, by Artisane.

    The Funnies
  • Why there aren't many women mechanics in Southern California. A very special thanks to my good friend Dr. Zorchfinger.


    If Arnold Schwarzenegger became Governor of California...
    10. His promise to Californians: "The electricity will be baaaaaack!"
    9. He could wrestle Jesse Ventura -- winner gets the loser's state!
    8. Formal state dinners held at Planet Hollywood.
    7. Democratic celebrities would mysteriously start disappearing.
    6. There would be a new Survivor 3, based on "The Running Man."
    5. He and George W. Bush could help each other get edjumacated in speaking English.
    4. His office: Muscle Beach
    3. Ronald Reagan would be granted Total Recall.
    2. Citizens would do hard time for flabby triceps.
    1. He would have to give up his current job and start acting for a living!



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