Wednesday

Tuna
"Black Sister's Revenge"

Black Sister's Revenge (1976), AKA Emma Mae is an ultra-low budget slice of life film portraying life in the LA projects as experienced through the eyes of Emma May (Jerry Hayes). She moved to LA from Mississippi to stay with her auntie after her mother died. At first, she was treated like a "backward ass hick" by her two college age cousins and their crowd, until she punched a guys lights out at a party. She falls for a no good character, and when he is arrested, she decides to get him at out jail any way possible.

Any more would be a spoiler. I can't say this is a well-made film, but it has the feel of realism, and does give a glimpse to those who pay attention what the poor black experience is like. I can't really call this blaxploitation, as it is not typical of that genre. The transfer is 4/3, and clearly made from mixed reels, as the quality varies from scene to scene. Hayes shows breasts before her man is busted. The five votes at IMDb average 5.0. There are no reviews available. I must say I enjoyed this film, and really cared about the title character. C-.

  • Thumbnails

  • Jerri Hayes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    "The Magdalene Sisters"

    The Magdalene Sisters (2002) is a joint Irish Scottish production, and is a dramatization of the Catholic abuse of women in Ireland through the 20th century. Church law mostly took precedence over civil law, and sex outside of marriage was a mortal sin, and ALWAYS the fault of the girl. Three such girls are introduced at the beginning. One is raped by her cousin, and tells about it, the second is an orphan, and flirts with neighborhood boys over the fence, and the third has had an illegitimate baby. The baby is taken from her and put out for adoption, and all three girls are placed under the care of the Magdalene Sisters, who force the girls to do all the work of running their laundry service, enforce very strict discipline, and occasionally hand out other indignities.

    The three girls introduced at the beginning never quite resign themselves to their fate. The other major character has been in for years, also for a baby out of wedlock, and is not 100% sane. All of the nudity is in one scene, where a dorm full of girls is lined up nude in the shower while the nuns decide which has the biggest breasts, biggest buns, and hairiest bush. I was able to identify Eileen Walsh and Nora-Jane Noone, although all the girls show full frontal.

    The Catholic church was not overjoyed at this film, and it may have exaggerated her and there, but it is essentially a true story. It is estimated that 30,000 women were imprisoned in these nunneries, with the last one closing in 1996. It is rated 8.0 at IMDb with 2,195 votes. Ebert, 3 1'2 stars, Berardinelli, 3 stars. US gross was $4.8M. It won best ensemble cast from the British Independent Film awards, and was nominated for the Best Picture BAFTA. I agree entirely with the ensemble cast, as everyone was completely believable in their roles. This is not a pleasant film to watch. It is, however, a very effective one. C+.

  • Thumbnails

  • Eileen Walsh and Nora-Jane Noone (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    OTHER CRAP:

     

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

     

    Various

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    LC
    Great finds by LC! From "The Human Stain", not due on DVD until July 20th!

    • Nicole Kidman, topless in #2 and some teaser, semi-frontal views in #1. (1, 2)

    • Jacinda Barrett, the Aussie actress that turned her "MTV Real World: London" appearance into a pretty decent film career. These 'caps feature Barrett in a full frontal nude scene. (1, 2)

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Dream Trap (1990) is a teensploitation movie with a lot going for it. There is Kristy Swanson in her prime. That is a lot right there, you'd agree. She plays a dual role of a dream girl in various guises and a real girl who's a bit too tightly buttoned up. Kristy, as the object of affection both real and imagined, does a nice job alternating between the exuberant and the restrained. Good start, you dudes who made this movie.

    And then there is Jeanie Moore. She's a cutie, that one, playing the role of the quintessentially dumb blonde, only with red hair. Her comic timing is superb. Honestly. Really. I mean it. Jeanie delivers some lines that made me laugh out loud, which happens not all that often when I'm watching an unknown B movie. They were the kind of dumb lines that have Berra-esque wisdom running through them. Think of Gracie Allen, only alive and a lot better looking. She and Kristy have a deal: Kristy will show her how to pass Economics and Jeanie will show Kristy how to look sexy. Uh huh. One looks nigh on impossible, the other is a slam-dunk.

    A whole mess o' sorority sisters and party-goers who oft-times get nekkid adds a third welcome element to Dream Trap. One of those sisters is former Hefmate Christina Leardini (Miss April 1991); the rest are credited in a list that makes matching face and bod to name impossible, even though a couple of babes have the kind of naturally large or silicone-enhanced frame that otherwise spells either "stripper" or "pornstar". You'll see what I mean.

    And so the movie goes along with a reasonable enough entertainment quotient... some laughs, some boobs, a few more laughs and Kristy Swanson... when it hits a wall. For about fifteen minutes the movie alternates between a dream sequence involving Jeanie and an ongoing real sequence involving an uptight dean. Both intercut halves go on much too long and are missing any and all entertainment value. To be less specific but no less precise, all scenes involving the dean character are just plain worthless. From that 15 minutes, the movie cannot recover. Hell, not even Kubrick could save a movie that hit a long dead spot. Just watch The Shining and see how it grinds to a halt with Jack and Delbert Grady in the men's room, never to recover.

    That then is the big problem with Dream Trap. It is like Old School, only in reverse. With Old School you look back at scenes and realize they were much funnier than they had any right to be. With Dream Trap you notice scenes are much less entertaining than they should have been. Kristy getting nekkid would have helped. Instead you get lots of bikinis and lots of cleavage from her. That's a decent enough metaphor for the whole enterprise. Where we should have gotten el primo hooters in their el prime-o, the movie gives us something that while not half bad is not nearly so much fun to look at.

    The run-down on the collages--

    Kristy collages:


    Other collages:

    • Jeanie Moore having her top ripped off, with the camera too far away
    • Christina Leardini rising topless from the pool. Five unknowns
    • Number 1(1, 2), with inflato-hooters, in a total of three scenes showing off the store-bought wonders and her bum.
    • Numbers 2 and 3, topless by the pool. I am guessing the one with the D cups is Raven Roulette because she has dark hair and the kind of body you'd expect from a gal named Raven. Googled her, though, and the only Raven Roulette I found was a racehorse. Neigh.
    • Number 4 is a blonde topless party girl whose face you never see clearly.
    • Number 5 is a sorority sister spied upon by a couple of terribly unfunny kids, one of whom plays the son of the dean. The babe is topless and shows us the only hint of bush in the movie.


    Here are a couple of bonus collages of Marilyn Monroe in a documentary about the filming of The Misfits. It bears the title, Making the Misfits. How I missed this sequence while watching the original is beyond me, but Ms. Monroe comes wonderfully close to liberating a breast.

    • Marilyn Monroe (1, 2)

    DeadLamb
    DeadLamb 'caps featuring the latest batch of cleavage from the NBC series "Las Vegas".

    Variety
    Mia Kirshner
    (1, 2, 3)

    		The sexy Canadian actress gets topless in 'caps from the most recent episode of the made for cable series "The L Word". Erin Daniels is also topless in link #3. (See yesterday's page for video clips of this scene).

    Kim van Kooten
    (1, 2, 3)

    		The Dutch actress is topless and briefly shows some rear nudity in scenes from "Phileine zegt sorry" aka "Phileine Says Sorry" (2003).

    Diane Keaton
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    		Keaton topless and possibly showing a hint of pubes in scenes from her Oscar nominated performance in "Something's Gotta Give" (2003).

    Leigh Taylor-Young
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 11, 13, 14)

    		Señor Skin 'caps from the 1969 version of "The Big Bounce" (which was recently remade starring Owen Wilson and Morgan Freeman). Taylor-Young shows all 3-B's.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    ABC PLANS "NICK AND JESSICA VARIETY HOUR"
    Sponsored By Chicken Of The Sea - ABC has signed Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson for a one-hour special called "The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour." The guests will include Kenny Rogers, Mr. T, Baseball Hall of Famer Johnny Bench, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.

  • It will air sometime in mid-1974.
  • They want to be like Sonny & Cher, except with Sonny & Cher, the woman was the smart one.
  • This sounds like a deal Jessica signed without telling Nick.
  • ABC will begin taping as soon as Jessica can memorize the name of the network.


    ALANIS GOES NAKED
    She's Never Flushed With Embarrassment - Alanis Morissette, who rode a bus naked in her "Thank U" video, says she does like to walk around her house naked and is a "leave-the-bathroom-door-open nudist, which is sometimes disconcerting for my friends."

  • That's weird: Alanis Morissette has friends?
  • They're all "never-look-directly-toward-the-bathroom" friends.
  • The people who live around her are all "Pull-your-freakin'-shades-down!" neighbors.


    ACCUSED EMBEZZLER CITES GREED AS DEFENSE
    Greed Is Good! - Joyti De-Laurey of Surrey, England, a former secretary at Goldman Sachs investment bank, is accused of stealing over $7 million from her bosses and living in grand style. She claims her bosses were so rich, the money she took was pocket money, and that they told her to take as much as she wanted as "a reward for me being me." Her bosses deny this. Her lawyer told the court that given the chance to live like a millionaire, "she snapped it up, and who wouldn't?," and that she was motivated not by theft or deception, but by "honest greed."

  • She's...a saint!
  • It's so rare these days to find someone who's honestly greedy. She deserves a reward of some sort!
  • Martha Stewart should've tried that defense.
  • She had to steal that much to be able to dress like the working women on "Sex & The City."


    WEST VIRGINIA PROTESTS INCEST T-SHIRT
    It's Relatively Harmless - West Virginia Governor Bob Wise demanded that Abercrombie & Fitch stop selling a T-shirt with the slogan "It's All Relative in West Virginia." Wise claims it perpetuates the stereotype that West Virginia is full of uneducated, inbreeding hillbillies, and he wants the store to pull the shirts and provide proof that they've been destroyed. But some buyers said they just thought it was funny, noting that there are also shirts spoofing other states, such as "New Hampshire: 40 million squirrels can't be wrong."

  • Actually, they can: they supported Howard Dean.
  • Don't let West Virginians know there are 40 million squirrels in New Hampshire! They'll come a-runnin' with their shootin' irons!
  • Don't worry, I'm sure most West Virginians won't be able to read that T-shirt.
  • Scientists say that inbreeding destroys the sense of humor.


    D'UH! HOMER SIMPSON A POOR NUTRITION ROLE MODEL
    Only 40 Percent? - Nutritionists at Rutgers University in New Jersey watched 63 episodes of "The Simpsons" and were shocked at what a bad health role model Homer is. They say he's had a triple bypass but is still overweight, addicted to donuts and beer, and avoids exercise. They said Homer accounts for 21 percent of all the eating depicted in the show, that 52 percent of the foods shown are unhealthy, and that 40 percent of the health messages in the show run counter to good medical advice. They strongly recommended that Homer be shown changing his dietary habits.

  • Or better yet, dying! That would be REALLY funny!
  • Apparently, becoming a nutritionist also destroys your sense of humor.
  • Actually, Homer makes viewers LOSE their appetites.
  • Also, they want Patty and Selma to quit glamorizing smoking.