demonlover (2003) is a landmark film. It is so pretentious and unintelligible that even the French thought it was too arty, booing it at Cannes. Most complain that it is nearly impossible to follow this film in any detail, and advise that the viewer not try. Scoopy outlined the main plot in his review, but admitted that he was not real sure of what side some of the minor characters were on. The film was partly in French, English and Japanese. Two people would be speaking alone to each other in French, then switch to English for no apparent reason. Many scenes were overly dark, especially action scenes, further adding to the confusion.

The filmmaker had no idea where the story would go when he started the film, and I submit that he still doesn't have an idea where the story goes. The first several scenes were coherent, if overly long, then the film degraded into nonsense and confusion. Connie Nielson does show breasts and buns. It is hard to express how much I disliked this film. At no time did it capture my interest. It is only 5 hours since I finished it, and I don't remember how it ends. I guess there are some advantages to getting older. This is a very low C-.

OTHER CRAP:

• The Daily Show asks, "Richard Clarke: 30 year political veteran or jealous, bitter piece of pond scum?"
• Students Fight For More Time To Sleep: "Every Tuesday after school, the Power Nap Club meets at Bellevue's International School. "
• SARAH JESSICA PARKER PLACED IN TIME CAPSULE, LAUNCHED INTO OUTER SPACE. My Work Here is Done, Actress Says
• Kirstie Alley hits 301 lbs
• Fan suckles Courtney Love's breast
• Genital piercings for women were banned by the Georgia House Wednesday as lawmakers considered a bill outlining punishments for female genital mutilation.
• Censorship or not - the debate, retrocrush style
• Backyard Wrestling Girl Files Lawsuit: Miller Lite Catfight actress Kitana Baker is seeking $1 million for misuse of her likeness in video games.
• Here are four free short videos from Playboy's Amateur Home Videos!
• Marilice Andrada was not only the Playmate of the Month in March of 1998, but was also a Baywatch Babe. Here is her Playmate Gallery, courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Speaking of the "ugliest women in the NHL", here are the Rangers City Skaters
• Just to prove that everyone in the world has a website: David Allen - Handbell Soloist. If you don't have a copy of "Advanced Solo Ringing: Multiple Bell Techiques", it's not too late to pick one up. There are still a few copies left, so order while you have the chance.
• More Father's Day gift ideas: Flatulence Deodorizer.
• David Lee Roth on The Sopranos? Maybe they'll be allowed to use live ammo for that episode.
• A 75-year-old woman is suspected of using her age and apparent frailty to fleece about a dozen auto dealers.
• A complete history of the NFL draft, including lots of analysis of the failure and success in past drafts.
• Rare stargazing spectacle as planets align for the next two weeks
• The average cost of making and marketing films by leading Hollywood studios passed the threshold of 100 million US dollars for the first time last year according to Jack Valenti, head of the Motion Picture Association of America
• Jersey Girl is still running 0% positive reviews from the Cream of the Crop at Rotten Tomatoes. Even Gigli rang up 3%.
• Watch the first eight minutes of The United States of Leland
• Watch four clips from The Ladykillers, the new Tom Hanks comedy.
• A new clip from The Rock's remake of Walking Tall
• President Bush Introduces Homo Alert System: "President Bush on Thursday announced the creation of a new alert system that will allow the country to know current risk levels of homosexuality at any given time"
• New York Ranger cheerleaders: "ugliest girls in the NHL"
• Why can't we have marriages between people and pets?' the bishop of Brooklyn recently remarked. "I mean, pets really love their masters"
• Astronomy Pic of the Day: Intriguing Dimples Near Eagle Crater on Mars
• Serena to juggle acting, fashion design, and tennis.
• England to destroy the ugliest thing in the country. People are not sure whether it will be Camilla Parker-Bowles or Mr Bean.
• Whitney checks out of rehab after five days. "Jeez, what kind of place is that? They don't even let you shoot up."
• Muppets Bringing Peace to the Middle East. I thought Pitt and Aniston already had that under control. One Arab newspaper charged that "Elmo was carrying the will of the White House to the Middle East".
• Enrique Iglesias reveals, "I could actually have the smallest penis in the world "
• Another crazy day in Norway. High school graduation deemed high-risk for Norwegian royals, because they might be exposed to "drunkenness, litter and generally bad behavior". No, say it ain't so! Royals exposed to litter? Will this senseless tragedy never end?
• Post-tittygate morality: the Oprah show is too naughty for Howard Stern. One morning last week, the general manager for the flagship station of Howard Stern's radio show told Stern not to play an excerpt from ''Oprah'' because the salacious content could result in a massive fine from the FCC.
• Zero-tolerance drug policy sometimes means kids can't carry theri asthma inhalers. At last, a major victory for the war on drugs!
• Detectives damningly dismissed John Lennon's erotic drawings as the product of a sick mind. The drawings in question were eight child-like lithographs of Lennon and his wife Yoko Ono in various stages of sexual intercourse. Whoa! Yoko getting drilled? That is sick.
• The official site of Dick Butt Kiss and the Tightends
• Think folks like Tim Russert, Tavis Smiley, Anderson Cooper, Ari Fleischer, Al Franken and Bob Woodward are smart? They'll have a chance to prove it. They're among 15 'power players' signed up to play 'Jeopardy!' in a special weeklong edition of the game that will be broadcast in May. I don't care about any of those guys, but I would pay to watch Dubya and Dan Quayle play.
• "Like most Americans, the president is concerned about rising gas prices,'' said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. Cuz, like, when Air Force One has to refuel, he's gettling, like, totally close to his credit card limit.
• Today's post-tittygate hypocrisy story: Did Simon Cowell flip the bird to TV viewers?
• Stephen King writing a new book on the scariest topic imaginable - the Boston Red Sox.
• England football captain David Beckham signed a birthday card for one of the suspected Madrid train bombers when he met him just weeks before the attack. "Mohamed - good luck in your future endeavors, whatever they might be. Becks."
• Practicing their Stooges Schtick, Rumsfeld tries to put the hand-scissors in the President's eyes, but the President counters with the hand perpendicular to the forehead. Question: what is Rumsfeld's counter-move?
• From the improbable headlines department: Parisians are getting less rude. I suppose it is probably correct. They had an impossibly high standard to maintain.
• See if you can guess whether you think each of the titles below is a film produced by Roger Corman or a song written by Rob Zombie
• Plain English Campaign: the most irritating cliche in the English Language is ... You'll have to click on it to find out. I vote for saying "at this moment in time" instead of "now", or saying "on a daily basis" instead of "daily", because they waste my time, which is particularly irritating.
• Another big day in Norway! Norwegian reindeer herders build a drive-in theater for snowmobiles.
• Coming back soon to a theater near you -- a controversial film about a Jewish guy from Nazareth who is worshipped as the Messiah and crucified by the Romans. No, it's not Mel Gibson's 'The Passion of the Christ.' It's Monty Python's 'Life of Brian.' "
• The Last Bastion of the American Male... a site dedicated to babes, cigars, booze, manliness, and all things politically incorrect.
• Is it possible? I'll bet you didn't think that Affleck would make another movie as bad as Gigli, but Jersey Girl is getting comparable reviews. One critic called it "Gagli".

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Various

• Rachel Miner in Bully. As usual in a Larry Clark film, there is plenty of explicit sex and nudity and a cinema verite feel. This is a Larry Clark project that I actually liked. If you only see one of his films, this would be a good choice. A much better choice than Teenage Caveman.  (.avi version,  .wmv version).

• Rebecca DeMornay in And God Created Woman. The movie isn't much to speak of, but the sex scenes are great, and Rebecca was tres sexy. (.avi version, .wmv version (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)). avi version includes all scenes, is a big download with six minutes of footage.

• Rosanna Arquette, Nowhere to Run  (.avi version, .wmv version (1, 2)) The .avi version includes both the shower scene (1) and the sex scene (2).

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Click here for reviews and comments by Scoop, Tuna and "100 Girls" writer/director Michael Davis.

• Biljana Filipovic, topless.
• Emmanuelle Chriqui, in a black bra.
• Ivana Bozilovic, wearing only a bra and writing on her boobs
• Julieanne Steger, bikini tops.
• Katherine Heigl, tons of bra cleavage.
• Kristin Herold, toplessness.
• Marissa Ribisi, also topless.

Meg Tilly...aka Jennifer Tilly's sister, topless in scenes from "The Girl in a Swing" (1988). Tilly's career started off pretty well with roles in "Fame", "The Big Chill", "Psycho II" and even an Oscar nod for "Agnes of God", but after her last made for TV movie in 1995, she seems to have retired from the biz.

• Meg Tilly, topless. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• .wmv's of Tilly topless and showing rear nudity in two different scenes (1, 2)

Next up, .wmvs of "The Matrix" star Carrie-Anne Moss topless in a love scene from "The Soft Kill" (1994).

• Carrie-Anne Moss (1, 2)

MARS ONCE HAD A SEA
Really Dead Sea - NASA announced Tuesday that their Mars rover had found evidence suggesting that there was once a salty sea on Mars, which means there may once have been life. It might not have been an actual sea, but was a briny pool of standing water at least two inches deep.