Men of War

Men of War (1994), if you believe everything I could find written about it, is either Dolph Lundren's best film ever, with great action, a fantastic cast, wonderful photography and an intelligent script, or a mindless, implausible, lackluster actioner. Dolph is a former soldier of fortune, lured out of retirement because a former commanding officer wants him to take a job. We find out why later. He is to form a team, go to a South Sea Island, and convince the natives to cooperate with two US capitalists. In what, Dolph is not told. He and his team surmise that the treasure must be jade.

The team assembled, they make an R&R stop before heading to the island, and end up adding Catherine Bell to the team, after one of the oddest fist fights in film history. After a bar brawl, the man in charge, who happens to be an old enemy of Lundgren, shows up and intends to throw them all in jail for five years. Dolph entices him to fight one-on-one. He agrees, but explains a special rule. Every time Dolph hits him, he kills one of his men.

Once on the island, they don't find the hostiles they were expecting, but rather a gentle people, including B. D. Wong, who was hilarious, and Charlotte Lewis, daughter of a pilot who crashed there and never left but married a local woman. The playful natives elect not to accept the capitalists offer. Dolph meets his bosses on the ship, and discovers that they are not after jade at all, but bird and bat shit, the mining of which will destroy the island forever. He decides he is on the side of the natives, especially when he finds that his old commanding officer owns a third of the mining company. He gives his troops a choice. Some stay, some leave, but return with an invading army to take the island.

IMDb readers say 4.8, reduced from 5.9 with the secret formula. Critics were quick to denigrate this film, but a legion of viewers have left mostly positive comments. Thailand played the part of a South Sea Island, and did a wonderful job. I ended up on the side of those who think this is Dolph's best film ever. Granted, that is not a very high bar to clear, but he showed more range than usual, the supporting cast was fun, there was a strong love story, there were plenty of bad guys, and not all of the twists and turns were obvious. Lets call this a C-.

Scoop's note: As bad as this movie is, I have to admit that it is really fun to watch. Think of it as Road House in the tropics. Or, perhaps more appropriately, think of it in terms of Bill Shatner's version of Rocket Man, in that it's either the stupidest fuckin' thing you've ever seen, or sheer genius. Given the intellect of John Sayles, one of the co-writers, there's probably a bit more than a hint of mad genius in this film!

One reviewer got it exactly right:

"Dumb ... but entertaining. Dolph Lundgren's got a rocket launcher. Charlotte Lewis has a great body. And B.D. Wong is hilarious. Bring snacks. Turn off brain. Enjoy."

 

Emmanuelle 5, day 3

The Dukes of Hazzard 2

This prequel focuses on Bo Duke (Jonathan Bennett) and Luke Duke (Randy Wayne), teenagers here and in legal trouble within moments of the opening credits. When they're arrested by the cops, they're sentenced to work on their Uncle Jesse's (Willie Nelson) farm, where he makes moonshine.

However, Jesse himself is in trouble with Boss Hogg (Christopher McDonald), who is demanding more money to look the other way from Jesse's illegal business. When Luke and Bo accidentally injure Boss Hogg's prize hog, he demands the money sooner than later, or he'll foreclose on the farm. Daisy (April Scott), a wallflower at this point, decides to take a job at the Boar's Nest and falls for the new bartender. Meanwhile, Bo and Luke have found the General Lee and try to figure out a way to keep the farm from going under.

I didn't like the movie, but is well worth watching for April Scott. She is smokin' hot. I can't believe the director didn't make her lose her clothes. I read somewhere that she is willing to do nudity, so whoever decided not to ask her to do it here should burn in hell. But probably was because they are incompetents, because Jennifer Hill didn't do nudity in this film either and she did in the indy film "Ten till Noon" that I capped not long ago.