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| Tuna
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"La Bestia uccide a sangue freddo"
La Bestia uccide a sangue freddo (1971), or The Beast who Killed in Cold Blood, has been released in many butchered versions under many different titles, including Slaughter Hotel, Asylum Erotica and The Cold Blooded Beast. They would cut back on the sex, or nudity, or violence to get it by the censors in different markets. We finally have the full version on an excellent Widescreen DVD, which includes an interview with the director, and some alternate scenes. It is a thriller/soft core/splatter film. The story takes place in a small, private mental hospital, where husbands have committed their wives for one reason or another. Someone starts killing women.
The most interesting character is played by Rosalba Neri. She is a nymphomaniac, and spends the entire film either having sex or masturbating. The other exposure is from Jane Garret and Monica Strebel. Strebel is seen in a sheer bra and panties, and then does a split beaver masturbation sequence. Neri and Garrett both show everything, including gyno-cam views. Neri's masturbation scene is very explicit. The violence is actually not that strong, but there is a standout scene where the killer does in a whole room full of nurses with a morning star.
IMDb voters say 5.7 of 10, but,. from the comments, most of them have seen one of the edited versions. It is presented with dubbed English. This is an excellent example of a combination giallo, splatter film, and soft core, and is hence a C+.
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Jane Garret
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Monica Strebel
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Rosalba Neri
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"Undefeated"
Undefeated (2003) is a made for TV sports story, fighter variety, written, directed by, and staring John Leguizamo. All the key elements of this well know genre are present. Poor Hispanic kid from a bad neighborhood has a talent for boxing, and escapes to the good life, which of course proves to seduce him into all sorts of excess. The real conflict in the story has nothing to do with sleazy promoters or managers, but rather his conflict between stardom, and wanting to be loyal to his roots and the home boys. His love interest is played by Vanessa Furlito.
So the story pretty much follows the genre bible, right up to the final scene, where the movie dared to do something very different. Up to the point, it was enjoyable enough, as the rags to riches to asshole to redemption plot is oft used because it works, but the final scene elevated it to one I will remember.
Furlito shows breasts and buns, as does Suzy McCoppin as a hooker. Another actress was cast in the hooker role, but she showed up to shoot and reneged on her agreement to do complete nudity, so the found McCoppin. Leguizamo has boxed since an early age, which helped both the writing and his performance. IMDb readers have it at 4.8 of 10. That is a little low. 6.5 would be more accurate. IF you like the genre, you should enjoy the film, and then there is the unusual ending. C.
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Suzy McCoppin
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Vanessa Ferlito
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Love Actually (2003):
Because Love Actually is a fairly traditional
romantic comedy, the situations are contrived. Unlike most American attempts at
this genre, however, it actually does show recognizable human beings
speaking in natural ways. It's rated R because it includes plenty of ribald humor,
quite a bit of sex and nudity, and it
shows adults talking like and behaving like adults. More than
anything else, it is a movie about how people cope. When it comes to
the major changes in our lives, weddings and deaths and falling in
love, I suppose that merely coping is what more of us do more of
than any other human activity - more than planning, certainly,
because so few of us really can or do plan for the major changes in
our life. In a very warm way, Love Actually shows a lot of people
coping with romantic opportunities and romantic problems, often
fucking up, sometimes moving forward.
In a nutshell, I enjoyed it. The script manages to
cut the sentimentality with plenty of humor. Well, it diluted the
sentimentality enough to satisfy me, but I guess I have to warn you
that it is still a shamelessly sentimental movie which was intended
as a Christmas film, and it also features Hugh Grant, so if that
ain't yer cuppa java, stay away. If you have an open mind, you can
get a lot of laughs out of it, and feel a lot of genuine interaction
from the characters. I'm not a great fan of Mr Grant, but I thought
he did a commendable job here as a pseudo-Blair Prime Minister who
becomes the British hero of the hour when he stands up to the
American President.
Long review here.
The Region 1 DVD is not yet released, and the
features have not been announced, to my knowledge. The Region 2 DVD
is terrific. It has exactly the features I want. (1) a good
widescreen anamorphic transfer (2) full length commentary by three
witty guys, writer/director Richard Curtis, and actors High Grant
and Bill Nighy (3) a ton of deleted scenes brought up close to
"finished" quality, introduced and explained by the director, then
presented in their entirety without interruption. (4) special bonus:
more nudity in the deleted footage!
First class all the way.
Best of all, the film offers an automatic bathroom break. About
halfway through the film, Mr Bean is on for about two minutes of his
usual babbling and mugging. If you leave when you see him, head to
the bathroom and obtain relief, you will return just in time for the
movie to resume its forward momentum, and you will not have missed
anything except some irritatingly mannered music hall schtick.
- Laura Linney (1,
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- Joanna Page (1,
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- Joanna Page deleted scene (1,
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An Unforgettable Summer (1994):
Fantastic find by Charlie, the French Cinema nudity guru. Kristin
Scott Thomas in a very revealing and explicit frontal nude scene
which even includes some open leg action. (Also, Charlie's site is updated.)
- Kristin Scott-Thomas (1,
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004):
Eccentric, as you might expect from screenwriter Charlie Kaufman,
perhaps flat-out mad, but also brilliant and touching, and profound,
and sometimes pretty funny. A dandy of a movie, but no nudity!
Notes here.
OTHER CRAP:
Other Crap
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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| Shiloh
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Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Various
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Flesh and Bone isn't a great movie, despite some good
performances, but you have to have some respect for a director who
gets two major female stars naked. Meg Ryan in Flesh and Bone. (.avi
version, .wmv version).
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Gwyneth Paltrow in Flesh and Bone (.avi version,
.wmv version).
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I've never seen Welcome to Woop Woop, but I want to
- for the nudity and sex scenes alone! It certainly has some energy.
Shiloh has the goodies on Susie Porter (.avi version, .wmv
version (1,
2,
3)). The .avi includes all three scenes.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
Shiloh says:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
Scoop says:
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
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| Graphic Response
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- Kate Beckinsale, the "Underworld" and "Pearl Harbor" star topless in scenes from "Uncovered" (1994). Look for her on the big screen in May as she co-stars with Hugh Jackman in "Van Helsing" (2004).
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
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| Jr
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"Glass, Necktie" (2001)
This extremely lame indie is the kind of flick that gives anyone with a camera the idea that they can "be a filmmaker". Sadly, not in the good way that inspires creativity and innovation. No, this is more from the "dudes, my mom got me a camcorder for my birf-day, lets make a movie after class" school of thought.
The acting is horrible and the production values are even worse. As Scoop put it in his review, 'The film is in cheap looking B&W. The actors are obviously wannabees and never-weres. The sets are just somebody's house. The only "action" consists of people talking in one and two shots.'
That's about all the info you need as a warning to stay away from this puppy.
As for the nudity, Nancye Ferguson shows her breasts in a sex scene.
- Nancye Ferguson
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"Candyman" (1992)
Stand in front of a mirror repeat his name five times, and according to the urban legend, The Candyman will appear! Scoop and Tuna have covered this movie in great detail, so I'll be brief.
Clive Barker wrote/produced a great horror flick, and Tony Todd is one of the most menacing, powerful and excellent boogiemen ever filmed.
Now on to the the nudity....Virginia Madsen briefly bared her breasts in two scenes. One scene covered in blood, and then again in a bath tub scene.
- Virginia Madsen
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| Variety
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| Maggie Gyllenhaal |
Excellent toplessness and full frontal nudity in scenes from "Secretary" (2002).
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Jennifer Connelly
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Marvin catches Connelly's brief bush views from "Requiem for a Dream" (2000).
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Diane Franklin
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Vejiita 'caps of Franklin in undies and baring everything in scenes from "Second Time Lucky" (1984). Most of us of course will always remember her as John Cusack's love interest from "Better Off Dead...".
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| Karin Mani |
Showing off her all natural big'uns in Kitt 'caps from the 1982 female vigilante movie, "Alley Cat".
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Ann-Margret
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Sherman sets the Way-Back machine to 1971 for these breast and bum views from the Mike Nichols film, "Carnal Knowledge".
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Naomi Watts
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Naomi and her fantastic nipples in scenes from "21 Grams" (2003). Thanks to the Skin-man for these 'caps from her Oscar Nominated performance.
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| Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
RICHARD SIMMONS GETS ROUGH
I Don't Like Him When He's NOT Angry - "Sweatin' To The Oldies" guru
Richard Simmons allegedly slapped a man who made a sarcastic remark while
waiting for a flight at the Phoenix Sky Harbor airport. The man recognized
him and said, "'Hey everybody. It's Richard Simmons. Let's drop our bags
and rock to the '50s.'" Simmons allegedly walked over and slapped him in
the face. Police cited him for misdemeanor assault and let him board his
flight.
Although he BEGGED to be taken to the men's lock-up.
They didn't want to make him angry...You wouldn't like him when he's
angry!
He's just cranky from low blood sugar.
It wasn't much of a slap: his hand was so oily, it just slid right off.
He'll Never Live This Down - Police added that Simmons is lucky the man he
slapped was uninjured and filed charges instead of hitting back. He
slapped a 6-foot-1, 255-pound Harley Davidson salesman who's also an
amateur cage fighter.
So? Richard Simmons is an amateur bitch-slapper!
When Richard heard that, he REALLY started sweatin'!
He was uninjured, except he got a little glitter in his eye.
TOWN HEARTBROKEN OVER ELVIS
Totally Graceless - Tiny Lonmay, Scotland, has long claimed to be the
ancestral home of Elvis Presley, since genealogists say that's where his
ancestors came from. But now, they're threatened with trademark
infringement by Elvis Presley Enterprises Inc., which controls Graceland
and the use of Elvis' name. Lonmay officials, who had been considering
honoring Elvis by renaming their hotel the "Heartbreak Hotel," called the
threat a "gross overreaction," and said if they'd look at Lonmay, they'd
see it was hardly trying to take over the mantle from Graceland.
The mantle at Graceland is a 30-foot slab of pink marble that wouldn't
even fit into Lonmay.
There's not a scrap of shag carpet in the whole town.
Does this mean they have to stop selling blue suede kilts?
They even created a special dish in his honor: a fried sheep's
stomach-and-banana sandwich.
I'm guessing Elvis was descended from the McDonalds clan.
MARTHA STEWART HIRES A HENCHWOMAN
Apprentice Bitch - Fox News columnist Roger Friedman reports that Martha
Stewart, who is famous for being prepared, may have already hired an
assistant in prison. Just in case she ends up in Danbury Correctional
Institution, she has reportedly found an incarcerated embezzler to be her
eyes and ears and help her out in the joint.
That way, Martha can concentrate on making her salads, and
let somebody else toss them.
Martha's such a smart businesswoman, she got her assistant to agree to
be paid in cigarettes.
Martha will show her how to make a centerpiece out of pine cones, and
she'll show Martha how to make a shiv out of a fountain pen.
An embezzler and an inside trader...When they get out, they can go into
business together!
BOBBY BROWN SPRUNG FROM JAIL
What Can Brown Do For You? - Bobby Brown was jailed in Massachusetts for
being $63,500 behind in child support to a woman who bore two children by
him. He paid and was released the next day. He said he thought it had
been paid, adding, "Things happen like that when other people are dealing
with your business."
Letting other people deal with his business was how he ended up with two
illegitimate kids.
That's why he pays his drug dealer's bill personally.
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