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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Turistas
Turistas (2006) is set in Brazil. Gringo tourists are captured for organ
harvest and must escape. Of course, this part is limited to act three, after
an hour of expository scenes, and is shot in near darkness so it is nearly
impossible to see what is going on. They are traveling by bus when the bus
crashes. Bored waiting for another bus, they walk to a private beach and bar,
where they are drugged, robbed, and then escorted to the doctor's house. I
wish there was something interesting to say about the film, but I can't think
what it would be.
IMDb readers say 3.2. It earned $7.03 Meg against a $10 Meg budget.
Berardinelli was generous at two stars. Had the film done more in the hour of
exposition, and tried adding a few light bulbs in act three, it might have risen to a C-. As it
is, it is a D.
Scoop's notes:
I'm so glad Tuna covered this. I have had it on my desk for two days, and I really didn't
want to watch it. It sounds like it was every bit as bad as I feared.
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A Girl to Die For
Chuck (Sasha Jenson), an Ohio transfer student meets Sue (Karen Medak),
a beautiful coed, while registering for classes at Pepperdine
University. Chuck is a bit of a wimp as the seductive Sue manipulates
him to do her bidding under the guise of a game. They have so much fun
beating the bill at an expensive restaurant that Sue persuades Chuck to
steal a flashy sports car and break into a high-rise office building
after hours. They are nearly caught but make a daring escape down a
window washer's platform and flee in the sports car. When Chuck decides
he's had enough, Sue confesses it was all a game and she was just
teasing him. She says the car is hers, she has an account at the
restaurant, and the office is her uncle's.
When she tells Chuck they are so great together that they could even
kill someone just for the thrill, Chuck can't be sure if she's serious
or joking.
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Notes and collages
"Farscape" - Part 17
Season 3, Eps 14 and16
(nothing capworthy in 13 or 15)
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Scandal is - Oh, hell, I don't know what to call it - a historical drama, I
suppose, about the Profumo scandal which rocked the British government in the
early sixties. For those of you too young or insufficiently British to
appreciate the subject matter, it was sort of a Watergate with tits. Imagine if
Nixon had been horny instead of paranoid, and you'll have the general idea.
Bridget Fonda and Joanne Whalley were quite young, and
Bridget removed her top
in their dancing scene. Britt Eckland
also got topless. |
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You younger guys can't appreciate it because the scene is very tame and Farrah
is now an old crazy lady, but we older guys went nuts when
Farrah Fawcett exposed her chest in
Saturn 3, even if we did have to look at Kirk Douglas's elderly body to get
a peek. |
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Natalie Dormer in The Tudors, S1E3. (She plays Anne Boleyn). This Irish-made
series is airing now on Showtime and in other English-speaking nations. You can
watch the first two episodes, in their entirety,
here.
Unfortunately, Natalie doesn't whip 'em out until episode three. |
Film clip here. Cap
to the right |
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Pat's comments in yellow...
Garth M. Flaherty, 24, of Pullman, Washington, was arrested for theft and
burglary for allegedly stealing women's panties and bras from laundry rooms. In
his bedroom, police found 93 pounds of women's underwear, or about 1,500
garments, enough to fill five garbage bags. A police spokesman said it probably
won't be returned to its owners because "would you want them back? I think
not." He added
that Flaherty told police "he had a problem."
* Not enough closet space.
An unnamed man in his 40s was banned from the University of California, Santa
Cruz, campus for two weeks after he was caught secretly videotaping women's feet
in the science library. A university spokesman said the man was embarrassed and
promised not to return. But no charges were filed because it's not illegal to
videotape feet.
* You'd think it would make him an arch criminal.
Michigan Daily reports that at the University of Michigan College of Literature,
Science, and the Arts, members of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity were eating in
the dining room when a woman in her 20s walked in, took off her clothes, and
started masturbating. They asked her to leave and she refused; then they asked
if she was all right, and she said she was fine. She continued masturbating for
half an hour; and at one point, she made a call on her cell phone. The frat
guys finally called police, but she'd left by the time they arrived, and they've
yet to locate her. A frat spokesman said she might have been on drugs, since it
was not how a normal person would've responded to them.
* Normally, no woman responds to them by taking off her
clothes and having an orgasm.
* It's so annoying when people use cell phones in the dining room! They just
want to call attention to themselves!
* This story is pretty hard to believe: a bunch of frat boys asked a naked
woman to LEAVE?!
Last night, 80's supermodel Paulina Porizkova was the first person voted off
ABC's "Dancing with the Stars".
* You know you suck at dancing when you're beaten by
Cliff the Mailman and a chick with one leg.
Wynonna Judd filed for divorce from her husband after he was charged in Texas
with having sex with someone under 13.
* Or as country singers call that, "Tuesday."
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