TV Recap
Natasha
Olenski hosted
the Hollywood XPress
section of
Naked
News
(4-3-15)
Good Luck, Miss
Wycoff
This social drama
was considered so
daring in 1979
that it required
27 minutes of cuts
to get an R rating
from the MPAA.
That means that a
film which was
intended to run
106 minutes
actually ran 79 in
some versions,
thus removing many
of the necessary
logical
transitions
between scenes and
rendering the plot
nonsensical.
Oddly enough, the
first hour it
could have been
rated PG in 1979,
when there was no
PG-13 rating.
It's 1954. A
virginal high
school Latin
teacher in small
town Kansas starts
to have an
emotional
breakdown. She
starts crying for
no reason, and she
exhibits other
signs of severe
depression, some
of which are
physically
dangerous, such as
attacking her
mirror violently.
Her doctor
(Napoleon Solo,
the man from UNCLE
himself) reveals
her to be the
victim of
premature
menopause.
"But I'm only
35," she retorts.
"Yeah, that's why
they use the word
'premature,'" he
answers bluntly.
The Doc From
UNCLE tells her
that she needs to
start getting
enough sleep and,
more important by
far, she needs to
get laid. He
hedges his
diagnosis by
saying, "Of
course, I might be
wrong. Talk to a
shrink."
The shrink
convinces her to
take charge of her
life, so she goes
on the prowl in
her own spinsterly
way. The guy who
transports her to
her shrink in
Wichita hits on
her. She demurs
because he's
married, but
slowly changes her
mind because he
seems to be a
sincere guy who
never lied to her
about his
situation. By the
time she decides
to get herself
some bus driver
dick, the motorman
has moved on to
another part of
the country,
having left his
wife. Opportunity
squandered.
Her next attempt
at a meaningful
sexual
relationship turns
out to be
disastrous, as the
object of her
desires turns out
to be an accused
communist (this is
the era when Tail
Gunner Joe ran
roughshod over
America's liberal
establishment),
but that's the
least of her
worries. More
relevant to her
own situation, he
also turns out to
have no interest
in girls.
55 minutes of the
film have passed
and things are
looking bad for
her
But they get
worse.
The film takes a
sudden shift in
tone and we now
come to the part
that qualified the
uncut version for
a possible X
rating.
She is subjected
to the ultimate
humiliation of
being raped by the
handsome black man
who cleans her
classroom. She
tells nobody, and
is such a
desperate,
self-destructive
person that she
actually makes
herself available
to the rapist. At
first that almost
seems like a
decent idea,
because their
second sexual
encounter is
tender and
romantic, but she
soon discovers
that the man is
only manipulating
her to gain
control. He hates
all white people,
and takes out his
anger in
subsequent
encounters by
humiliating her
and even hurting
her physically.
During one of
their trysts, the
man's anger turns
fiery and he takes
her brutally from
behind while
shoving her
breasts ino a
scalding-hot
radiator in her
own classroom
after hours. She
screams in agony,
and two students
respond to the
situation, only to
find their
presumably
innocent
schoolmarm stark
naked and having
sex with a very
sexy young black
man.
The story then
takes kind of a
weird twist. Had I
been one of those
two students,
given the severe
burns on her body
and the screams
the boys had
heard, I would
have assumed that
Miss Wycoff was
being raped, but
they make no such
assumption. They
simply walk away,
and eventually
tell everyone in
the small town
that she is a
promiscuous woman
who prefers dark
meat. This, of
course, is not the
path for her to
make friends and
enhance her
reputation in a
small Midwestern
town in 1954, so
she ends up losing
her friends, her
apartment, and her
job. She considers
suicide, but ends
up doing something
even worse -
moving to New
Jersey.
To somebody
watching this film
in 2015, the
motivations and
reactions of the
characters are
impossible to
understand, and
every situation
seems melodramatic
beyond the level
of credibility, so
that the entire
project seems like
a corny
made-for-TV film
on the Oxygen
Network, if such
films could have
graphic sex
scenes. On the
other hand,
perhaps the
characterizations
accurately
reflected the
various attitudes
toward sex and
race that people
had in 1954. It
does seem to have
a Tennessee
Williams kind of
tone to it and it
was, after all,
written by William
Inge, the rather
famous playwright
and novelist who,
in a famous play
and movie, Picnic,
so accurately and
poignantly
captured the
difference between
the trap of
humdrum reality
and the baseless
optimism of some
Midwestern lives
in the 50s.
Perhaps.
But I don't
recommend it.
Nudity:
The rape and
humiliation scenes
in this movie are
brutal and nearly
impossible to
watch without
flinching,
especially when
the teacher gets
thrust into the
radiator.
There is full
frontal and rear
nudity from Anne
Heywood as Miss
Wycoff, although
the rear exposure
is very brief. On
the male side,
super hunk John
Lafayette, with a
six pack that
seems to have been
sculpted, shows
the full monty as
her rapist.
Anne
Heywood
