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New releases, from Johnny Web
I couldn't find any
flesh in the new releases. Here's a quick
overview. "For Love of the Game" is a
sentimental story about an aging baseball player
and the love he lost. It's really a romance with
baseball as a backdrop. It seems that Costner
movies always go for the heartstrings, and this
one is no exception. I like his jock movies. What
makes Costner different from a typical movie star
is that he is about being ordinary. His
characters have no special courage or seductive
abilities or wisdom. Even when they have great
talent (this guy is a hall of famer who throws a
perfecto in his final game), they're just
schmucks like the rest of us, struggling to
figure out how to live a meaningful life with the
people we love, doing the things we love to do,
facing our mistakes, and trying to do it all with
some honor. I think that can grab ya', if you
open yourself up to it. This one isn't a symphony
of inspired mediocrity, like Bull Durham, but it
strikes some good notes along the way. It's kind
of an overproduced film. Hard to imagine why they
needed $50 million to cut this story. It only did
$35 million in box office, but probably would
have done the same box with a $10 million budget.
There is some very brief nudity in the deleted
scenes (an unnamed waitress), but I didn't bother
capping it. There's almost 20 minutes of deleted
scenes. "Messenger" is that
Milla-as-Joan-of-Arc flick. This is a giant mess,
from the normally competent Luc Besson. I can't
see any reason for the film to exist. It doesn't
revise the legend with the truth (see Ebert's
review for some detail of the inaccuracies). It
doesn't make the legend inspirational or
uplifting. It's mostly battle scenes between
unnamed and unidentifiable adversaries. I suppose
they are great battle scenes, with plenty of fast
cuts and swirling confusion, but you can't tell
who is who, and you don't feel any emotional
attachment to anyone in the battles. If your most
fervent desire is to see an authentic
reproduction of 15th century warfare in a
soulless, documentary context, then this is your
film. One of the advantages of Besson's break-up
with Milla is that he won't be tempted to cast
her any more. She was just embarrassing in some
of the scenes in this movie. I really like Milla
a lot, and I think she has been successful at
other acting projects, but this was just some bad
miscasting. She made no effort to disguise her
valley accent or her cartoon voice. Imagine the
late Margaux Hemingway as Margaret Thatcher, and
you'll get the general idea. "Orgazmo"
is Trey Parker's send-up of cheap porn and
martial arts movies. Along the way, he manages to
rip on Mormons. Trey plays a Mormon who is doing
his missionary work in LA when the plot contrives
him into a porn film role as a horny superhero,
and leads him through a series of adventures in
the sleazy underbelly of L.A. I don't recommend
the film. There isn't even any worthwhile nudity,
although it is unrated. The one thing that really
impressed me was Dian Bachar, the little guy who
appears in all Trey's movies (Squeak Skolarik in
Baseketball) - this guy is a comic performer of
great genius - as good at performing the material
as Trey is at creating it. Trey is also quite
good, but the movie just misses the mark, mainly
hitting only a few cheap laughs. If you want a
few good, dark laughs, rent Trey's other new
release "Cannibal the Musical", the
famous film project that he worked on while a
student. It's a musical comedy about Alferd
Packer, a guy convicted of cannibalism in the
19th century, and a bit of a Colorado folk
legend. Some great songs. Most IMDb viewers liked
"Let's Build a Snowman", but my
favorite was "Hang the Bastard", an
elaborate dance number in gingham and calico, ala
Oklahoma. In fact, the film could be considered a
parody of Oklahoma in several ways, including the
introductory song-on-my-horse and the famous
dream sequence, in which Trey dances some ballet
- and quite convincingly as well. I guess it's
"Oklahoma" via "Paint Your
Wagon", via "Dr Strangelove", as
befits Trey's odd sense of humor. Trey has a nice
singing voice, and the songs are actually catchy.
You're going to find yourself singing them
unconsciously, and people will look at you very
strangely. The movie has some dead spots, but
also some inspiration, and the songs are
uniformly great fun and make the film worth
renting. Troma released the movie (I guess Lloyd
and Trey have gotten to be good friends)!
"Cruel
Intentions", from Tuna
The review is entirely
Tuna's work:
"Cruel Intentions
(1999) is a remake of Dangerous Liaisons, but
moved to New York and the 1990's, and involves
yuppie spawn rather than French Aristocracy. It
is the first big-screen directorial effort by
Roger Kumble. His intention was to have a 90's
story with modern dialogue, but keep the look and
feel of a period piece. He assembled an
outstanding cast, and a very talented team and
facilitated their doing what they do best, and he
achieved exactly what he was after. The three
keys to the opulent look and feel of the film
were Theo van de Sande (Cinematography), Denise
Wingate (Costumes) and David Lazan (Art
Direction). For a low budget (10 Meg) film, they
did a remarkable job. I would say that Kumble
(who also wrote the screenplay) created exactly
what he intended to.
The main plot concerns a
rich step-brother who is out to nail as many
girls as he can while in High School, and his
truly evil and manipulative step-sister. Both
delight in ruining the lives of those around them
as sport. They make a bet as to whether he can
seduce the new headmaster's daughter, who
published a manifesto in praise of virginity in a
national magazine. The actresses are lovely and
talented, the dialogue witty, and the production
values first rate. For me, this was a far more
accessible film than Dangerous Liaisons.
The DVD is full of
Special Features, including deleted scenes (these
provided the only actual nudity with award
winning porn starlet Alisha Klass), a short on
the making of the movie, an in-depth feature on
how the look and feel was achieved, and a full
directors commentary.
Opinions are split on
this film, with the detractors mostly falling
into two groups: people who don't like the sex,
and people who don't think it has enough French
nobility. I found it to be an excellent film in
all respects.
There are 5 actresses
represented in the images:
- Alisha Klass:
Nudity in all images. This scene was cut
because they felt it took too much
audience sympathy away from Ryan
Phillippe's character.
- Reese Witherspoon:
Cleavage in 1, 2 and 3, and nice butt
shot (covered with a spray-on bathing
suite) in 4.
- Selma Blair: Pokies
in 1, 3 and 6, and upskirt in 4 and 5.
- Tara Reid: Nude on
computer screen
- Sarah Michelle
Geller: Mostly cleavage, with a possible
nipple in 3."
Tuna's thumbnails for
this film.
Alisha Klass (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Reese Witherspoon (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Buffy (1, 2, 3, 4)
Selma Blair (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Tara Reid
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