Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003) is a Seduction Cinema production shot entirely on film, rather than their usual digital video. Misty Munday stars as Dildoe Sagins, a simple Throbbit from Throbbiton who is charged by Smirnoff the wizard to take the G-String created for the evil Whorespank (Paige Richards) to the edge of the kingdom and destroy it, thereby saving Diddle Earth. Accompanying her on her quest are Spam (A. J. Kahn) and Horney (Darian Caine), and they are eventually joined by Araporn (Barbara Joyce). Along the way, they encounter any number of perils, as well as those who aide the quest. Anoushka as Benadryl and Allanah Rhodes as Hymen Torn are two elves who save Dildoe after an attack, and take her to Las Lesbius to heal.

There is far too much nudity in this parody for one night, so this will be continued. Tonight, we have Misty Mundae, Anoushka, and Allanah Rhodes. All of the women show everything at some time in the film, and most of the sex is of the girl/girl variety, with lots of group shots. There are few frames with only one naked woman. Tomorrow night, we will have the rest of the women, and the group shots.

Update:

• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated

Other crap:

• Round-up of satirical news stories
• if ever a movie was crying for a sequel, is it Kung Pow
• shock jocks get in trouble for naughty talk. One of the sex acts they described was the "Tony Danza". OK, I could understand the Dirty Sanchez and even the "dreaded Rear Admiral", but doing the Tony Danza? I think that is even forbidden in the Kama Sutra, or even in the Kama Dutra, which is the ancient Indian guide to sex with obscure golfers.
• Our favorite pop singer and ex Pepsi spokeswoman does poolside leg lifts. The Sun is on the scene, as always.
• Which is the most common sports headline. I have to vote for "Sosa homers, Cubs lose". It's business as usual, but this one happened to be #500 for Sammy. Sosa has hit 471 as a Cub, and might pass Ernie Banks as the all-time Cub leader at the end of this year (he needs 43 for the year). He hit 28 for the White Sox and one for the Texas Rangers. (Good move in dumpin' Sammy, Rangers!)
• The Straight Dope did a marvelous article on Sherlock Holmes. The original question was naive, but Mr Dope took this lemon and made lemonade, with maybe a spritz of good gin.
• The RIAA is suing four college students for (Dr Evil voice) - 97.5 billion dollars. The kids conceded that, in order to save the money, they'd have to switch to Old Milwaukee.
• Madonna confesses that she hates her own music. I feel her pain.
• At last - a reality show I can love. New reality show to feature pranks played by naked women
• Matt Drudge's two-man web site takes in $800,000 per year!
• strange concept Celebrity Atheists.  You have to love any list that includes Noam Chomsky, Mickey Dolenz, Scotty Evil, Howard Stern and Ingmar Bergman. I wonder if Chomsky and Dolenz have much to discuss at the annual convention. I've heard Chomsky thinks "Pleasant Valley Sunday" is "really rad", and never missed an episode of Circus Boy, although he claims he watched only because he's "into Billy Barty, like totally". The list also includes both Bill Gates and Steve Wozniak, just to be fair.

• 'Girls Gone Wild' producers arrested on racketeering charges. The Smoking Gun says they have grossed $100 million on those things.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Today it's a look at Jessica Biel in "The Rules of Attraction".

Jessica frolics in her bra and then a skimpy nightgown. When will this girl decide to get naked on screen?.

• Jessica Biel (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

And one for good luck...Jennifer Aniston showing some cleavage on "Friends".

• Jennifer Aniston

DREAM JOBS: POSITIONING MARIAH'S BOOBS, OILING KYLIE'S BUM
But She Still Doesn't Look So Hot - According to Popbitch.com, Mariah Carey employs a male "positioner" on staff whose only job is to get her into the right position to look her best on camera. Her optimal position: leg closest to the camera straight out, the other leg bent, one arm over the chair, breasts pointed directly at the camera lens.