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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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How Much Do You Love Me?
2005's Combien to m'aimes?, which is French for "Monica Bellici naked," is an offbeat French Comedy
starring Monica and some other people named Farida Rahouadj, Bernard Campan, and Gerard Depardieu.
Campman plays an ordinary-looking office worker with a weak heart. As the
film opens, he approaches hooker Bellucci with a proposition. He will pay her
100,000 euros per month to live as his wife until his money runs out. He adds
that he has just won the lottery. She quickly accepts. She lasts eight days,
and then returns to her pimp/husband, Depardieu. Depardieu is no longer the
leading man type, and has been relegated to the role of villain in this film,
but it is still not possible to make a French film without him. Farida
Rahouadj plays a neighbor who complains about Bellucci's cries of passion,
gets into a heated argument with her over who has the best orgasms, and ends
up sleeping with Campman after Bellucci splits.
Ultimately, the beautiful hooker finds Depardieu less satisfying than
Campman, and returns, but there are more surprises before this one ends
ambiguously.
Director Bertrand Blier has made some excellent films, but this wasn't one
of them. I did find it occasionally amusing, but it is not the sort of film I
will remember next month, nor am I likely to watch it again.
C-.
Scoop also scored it a C-, and IMDb readers render about the same verdict
at 5.4.
However ... a thumb way up to any director who gets Monica Bellucci naked! This
is now available in an all-region DVD.
Scoop's note:
Here are some film
clips to accompany the collages.
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Loving Deadly
Jesse (Jonathan Ward) is smuggling babies across the border, and he
gets busted. When he's in jail, his crime boss wants to keep him happy,
so they arrange conjugal visits with a hooker (Sarah Lassez), and they
fall in love. They plot to get back at the crime boss, and they
accidentally kill the crime boss's identical twin brother.
Oops!
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Notes and collages
"Farscape" - Part 23
Season Four, Episode 3 - part one
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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
If you thought all those security cams and speeding cameras were ushering in a
"Big Brother" society, prepare for the next phase: Britain's government
announced that it will install talking closed-circuit TV cameras across England.
They will not only record people doing anything "anti-social," but the operators
will be able to yell at people they catch, using attached loudspeakers. Home
Secretary John Reid responded to complaints about the loss of privacy by saying
the talking cameras will be aimed at "the small minority who think it is
acceptable to litter our streets, vandalize our
communities and damage our properties."
* "And not wash their hands after using the bathroom!"
* To make sure the operators don't abuse it, they'll have cameras pointed at
the operators.
The Kuaibao newspaper reports that a woman in Jiangsu, China, owes her life to a
pile of shit. She was hanging laundry when she leaned too far over the balcony
and fell six stories. Luckily, workers below were emptying the building's
blocked-up septic tank, and the woman landed on a thick pile of excrement,
suffering only minor injuries. The paper compared it to another recent incident
in which a girl's life was saved when she fell six floors and landed in a pile
of snow.
* Except she left behind a much more attractive "snow
angel."
* I'll bet their dry cleaners didn't think the two incidents were similar.
The Sands Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City is getting cleared out for
demolition, and when the slot machines were moved for the first time in 30
years, workers found $17,193.34 in change that gamblers had
dropped under them.
* Who's the high roller who was betting the four cents?
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