Saturday

Into the Fire

(1988)

Into the Fire is a low-budget Canadian entry into the film noir sub-genre of femme fatale thrillers that was so popular in the 40s and became even more popular in the 80s after being resurrected by Body Heat. You know the drill: woman convinces a schmuck to kill her husband for one or more of the following reasons:

(1) husband is a monster

(2) hot, steamy sex

(3) insurance money

It is often convenient for the conniving tootsie to choose a drifter as her mark, in the model of The Postman Always Ring Twice, and this film follows that template. Of course, the noir plot invariably has a more going on beneath the surface, and the patsy never seems to end up with either the dame or the dough. In this case, it turns out that the woman and the husband are conspiring together. I can tell you that much without spoiling the plot since that detail is revealed about five minutes into the film.

And that's the biggest problem with the plot. The film would be far more interesting if the audience were led to believe that things are as they seem to the drifter, but the script tells too many of its secrets too early.

The second major plot problem is that the premise is not maintained consistently. The husband and wife are supposed to be having fake fights, and the poor naive drifter is supposed to hear them and come to the aid of the damsel in distress. In order to do that effectively, the camera needed to stay on the drifter in the guest house, or perhaps inside of his point of view, but it did not always do that. It peeked inside the main house, where the husband and wife seemed to be fighting for real. It may have been the director's intention to do that as an additional element of mystery. He had already convinced us that the pair were faking it, so maybe he wanted to introduce the possibility that we misunderstood their relationship, and that the wife's distress might be real. If that was the case, he failed, because all of the other details demonstrate precisely how they are plotting. For example, the wife sits at her make-up table and creates fake bruises to show the sap. Because all of the other details add up to "fake fights," the one look at an ostensibly real fight serves not to deepen the mystery, but simply to add unnecessary confusion. Are we seeing what really happened, or are we seeing what the drifter is picturing?

You've probably guessed that the script has more secrets. Since this genre is plot-driven, and since the conspiracy between the husband and wife is revealed immediately, there has to be more going on, and there is. First of all, you'll have to figure out exactly what the couple is plotting. Second, you'll get some more surprises and double-crosses at the end of the film. In my opinion, those twists are not big enough or unexpected enough to warrant an investment of even the mere 74 minutes it will take you to watch this flimsy project. (IMDb says 88 minutes, so the DVD may be expurgated.)

Sometimes the ending of a noir thriller is so clever and/or so ironic way that we can overlook some flaws in the development stage, but that doesn't happen here. The conclusion leaves a bad taste, and layers in no delicious ironies, so the destination is no more satisfying than the journey.

 


NUDITY:

At least there are two topless women to admire, as per the genre standard. Olivia D'Abo shows her breasts in a bath scene and a sex scene. Even that guilty pleasure is spoiled by the fact the camera reveals D'Abo to be wearing panties in the bathtub. See below, between the two hanging parts of the towel.

Here are the topless collages:

Susan Anspach shows her breasts twice as the femme fatale. Miss Anspach was 45 years old when she made this film, but was definitely still attractive enough to be a convincing seductress when shot in flattering light.

This represents the last of only three entries in her nudography, all of which occurred at age 38 or older. She did no nudity in 1970-1973 (ages 28-31) when she was getting roles in A-list projects with people like Nicholson and Woody. (Five Easy Pieces, Blume in Love, and Play it Again, Sam)

Here are the topless collages:

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 


The Eroticist

1972

Today it's back to the seventies for the sex comedy "The Eroticist" which was directed by Lucio Fulci.

Laura Antonelli, who was truly an Italian sex kitten (she started out as a teacher), reveals some lovely T & A in this fun movie in which she plays a nun who takes on a sex-obsessed Senator. Caps and six ( Italian language ) clips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Killing Me Softly

2002

Part 1 of ?

Heather Graham

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Speedway

(1997)

This is the first of a five-part series featuring the famous 6'2" babe, Julie Strain. I don't know if she has done more screen nudity than any other non-porn actress in history, but she would be my first guess if I were forced to take a stab at it

Julie Strain film clips. (Samples below)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Greenfingers

(2000)

This is a British gardening comedy starring Clive Owen and Helen Mirren.

 

Lucy Punch

no (female) nudity

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forbidden Secrets

No nudity in Forbidden Secrets (2005) but Kristy Swanson is down to her underwear.

 

 


 

Final Analysis

Kim Basinger flashes her breasts in a darkly lit scene in Final Analysis (1992)

and Uma Thurman looks lovely.

 


 

Someone Like You...

Ashley Judd shows some pokies and is in her underwear in Someone Like You... (2001),

and Sabine Singh shows some cleavage.

 


 

Bridesmaids

No visible nudity in Bridesmaids (1989) although the lead actresses do go skinny dipping. So it is just pokies and upskirts

by Sela Ward,

Shelley Hack

and Brooke Adams.

 


 

Hard to Kill

Hard to Kill (1990) is one of the better Steven Segal movies.

Julia Stormson is topless but is facing the wrong way,

as is Bonnie Burroughs.

 


 

A Kiss Before Dying

Sean Young shows some side breast in A Kiss Before Dying (1991)

and Martha Gehman shows a lot of leg.

 


 

Forces of Nature

Sandra Bullock is in her underwear in Forces of Nature (1999).

 

 


 

The King and Queen of Moonlight Bay

Some lovely pokies by Kristen Bell in The King and Queen of Moonlight Bay (2003).

 


 

Bulletproof

Bulletproof (1998) shows a very nice Lydie Denier topless.

 


 

Not Only But Always

We don't know who they are but there are some nice topless women in Not Only But Always (2004).

 


 

Crimes of Passion: Voice from the Grave

Kim Dickens shows us her underwear in Crimes of Passion: Voice from the Grave (1996).

 


 

Iznogoud

Iznogoud (2005) is a French film.

We some topless women in a harem

and Elsa Pataky shows some see-through nipples.

 


 

Vinyl Dolls

As you can see by the ladies mentioned, Vinyl Dolls (2002) is a soft-core movie and has plenty of nakedness.

We see a lot of Ander Page,

Beverly Lynne,

 

Jezebelle Bond,

 

Kelsey

and Tiffany Shepis.

 


 

"Married with Children"

 Series 6 Part 2

Episode 10 - Kelly does Hollywood Part 1

Christina Applegate - sexy

Donna Eskra, Heather Grimes, Kari Wuhrer, Lisa Fuhrman, Georgi Irene - nice legs

Megan O'Hara and Denise Richards - sexy

 

Episode 11 - Al Bundy Shoe Dick

Traci Lords - very sexy

Nicole Chamberlain - upskirt

 

Episode 12 - So this is How Sinatra Felt

Jessica Hahn - cleavage and underwear

 

Episode 14 - The Mystery of Skull Island

Bobbie Phillips - cleavage

 

Episode 15 - Just Shoe It

Elizabeth Giordano - cleavage

 

Episode 16 - Rites of Passage

Gina Puzo - upskirt

Unknowns at the nudie bar - cleavage

 

Episode 17 - The Egg and I

Amanda Bearse - pokies and lingerie

 

Episode 23 - The Gas Station Show

The Swedish Bikini Team - in bikinis

 

Episode 25 - England Show III

Amanda Bearse - sexy in leather

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

Padma Lakshmi in The Pirates

As far as we know, this is her only screen nudity.

 

Alanis Morissette in a posed see-through.

I never dreamed she was built like this. She has better breasts than were shown by Lohan in her similar recent see-throughs, and she's a lot older. (Alanis is 33, Lilo 21)

 

Cameron Richardson in the 2004 calendar from GQ Italy

 

Dita

Here is part 2 of 7 of the film Pin-Ups2, in which she does all sorts of naughty, explicit lesbian and solo activities. I will run all seven eventually, since the crazy thing keeps intercutting between many scenes and it's impossible to extract Dita's scenes conveniently.

 

 

Film Clips

Lavinia Wilson in three productions: Allein (2004), Mutig in die neuen Zeiten: Nur keine Wellen (2006), and Schussangst (2003).

The young Parisian Louise Monot in two more episodes of La Prophetie d'Avignon, a new French miniseries: episode 2, episode 4

One more of Olga Kurylenko in Hitman, this time only in the additional scene which can only be found on the unrated DVD,

A classic: Madchen Amick in Dream Lover. She never looked this great again, either naked or clothed, but she did have this moment of perfection, which is more than the rest of us can say.

Sanna Brading in A Hole in My Heart

Roxane Mesquida in two projects: Fat Girl and Sex is Comedy