Wednesday

Tuna
"Scream Queen Hot Tub Party"

Scream Queen Hot Tub Party (1991) was conceived, written, directed and produced by Fred Olin Ray and Jim Wynorski. It was shot on Hi 8mm in one day at Jim Wynorski's home. The women were given a piece of the profit, and Wynorski and Ray did their own distribution. As it never found its way into the rental market, this has always been a rather rare film, other than pirate copies. The plot is a throw-away. Five scream queens are invited to a mansion for a seminar on scream queens. The host isn't around, so they change into negligees, then use an Ouija board to figure out what to do. The answer? Get into the hot tub. Each of the women in turn describe some aspect of scream queen technique, such as the shower scene, chain saw play, firearms, the importance of exercise, etc. The entire thing was padded with clips from other films owned by Ray or Wynorski in which one or more of the girls appeared. These include footage from "Slumber Party Massacre," "Sorority House Massacre II," "Tower of Terror," "Emmanuelle V," "Evil Toons," "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers." .

So, absent plot and acting, why would anyone watch this masterpiece? Brinke Stevens, Monique Gabrielle, Kelli Moroney (Zow Kelly Simon), Michelle Bauer and Roxanne Kernohan, all showing breasts. The women were all in great shape, and had the god sense not to take this seriously.

"Why did we have to change into nighties to reach the spirit world? DO spirits prefer nighties?" No, I think the producer just wanted an excuse to get us to undress."

"I was just thinking ..." "A scream queen never thinks."

The DVD includes a still gallery, a commentary with Ray and Wynorski, and One Million Heels B.C. 25 people have it at 1.5 of 10. I can't possibly give this less than a C. It is easily the best of all scream queen hot tub party films. The idea was so unique that all five girls had to agree not to make another film like it for any other director for at least a year. When others saw how much money it was making, all five girls were approached to make a clone for someone else. The video quality is not great, as the source material was 8 mm, but it is watchable, and the commentary is sometimes interesting.

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  • Brinke Stevens (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Group
  • Kelli Maroney (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Michelle Bauer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Monique Gabrielle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Roxanne Kernohan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    UPDATES:

    • There are about 10 new OR updated volumes in the Encyclopedia in the  J's.

     

    Eurotrip (2004):

    I wrote a long, long review which spoiled many of the best jokes. The review is pretty funny, but my real suggestion is to do whatever you have to do to see this movie, if it sounds like your kind of material. Written by three Seinfeld writers, this is like an episode of Seinfeld with the gloves off. It is raunchy, gross, offensive, sexy, politically incorrect, filled with gratuitous nudity, and deeply cynical. (But not mean-spirited) Of course, those elements make the potential audience quite small, but if you are in that audience, as I am, this is your movie, dudes! It also works like an episode of Seinfeld by weaving all the themes and plots together. And it is totally fucking hilarious, especially if you have lived in Europe for a long time and know the truth underneath the crazy exaggerations.

    Non-stop nudity. I expect the DVD will have even more.

    (These are not very good quality. Movie still in theaters, not yet on home media. The actual DVD or theatrical print will be in color, and none of these scenes will appear in B&W)

    • Jessica Boehrs (1, 2)
    • Edita Deveroux and Petra Tomankova (1, 2, 3)
    • Molly Schade (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • beach extras (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • sex club extras (1, 2, 3, 4) (every one of these girls has a last name ending in -ova. Most of the European filming was in Prague, although Amsterdam played itself, and there were also location shoots in Germany)

    C+. Highly recommended, if your type of movie. A hybrid between Seinfeld and American Pie, but far raunchier than either.


     

    OTHER CRAP:

     

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

     

    Victoria Abril

    • One of the queenpins of international nudity (on screen and off - she doesn't wear a lot of clothing in public, either!), here is Miss Abril in Tie Me Up, which Tuna and I both consider to be a must-see film from Almodovar. Bizarre, politically incorrect, intriguing, and one of the most beautifully photographed and art-directed films we have ever seen or captured. (.avi version.wmv version).

    • Here she is in French Twist. (.avi version.wmv version). Long download, but lots o' nudity.

    • Here she is again in French Twist, this time with Josiane Balasko in some lesbotronic activity. (.avi version.wmv version).

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmvversions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Hugo
    Jennifer Connelly
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The official babe of the the Fun House showing some brief nudity in scenes from "House of Sand and Fog" (2003).

    Lara Flynn Boyle "The Practice" star briefly shows off her super-pink nipples in scenes from "Afterglow" (1997). The normally ultra-thin actress looks like a total blimp in these 'caps...I bet she must have weighed 95 lbs back then.

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Stealing Candy"
    Low-budget doesn't always mean bad, and this 2002 direct-to-video effort is better than you might expect. While it has some nudity, it also has a decent plot and competent acting, so it rises above being simply a sexplotation film. In fact, the nudity and sex are minimal and tasteful, and simply required by the plot.

    Three ex-cons devise the ultimate safe score kidnap a popular actress and make millions by forcing her to have live sex on the Internet. Things don't go as planned, of course, and some neat plot twists lead to an interesting ending. Decent enough to be worth a watch.

    The Gimp
    'Caps and comments by The Gimp:

    A few A list "adult" stars for the Fun House today....

    • Alaura Eden, close up breast and gyno views from that immortal classic "Ass Worship".

    • Ryan Conner, close up breast and thong views from "Ass Worship 3".

    • Jeanie Rivers, links 1-4 have breast and bum views, links 5-7 are hard core 'caps. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Diana Espen aka April Flowers, the adult actress sometimes seen on Skinemax, baring all and gettin' it on hard core style in scenes from "Naughty College Girls"

    Variety
    Lara Harris
    (1, 2)

    Victoria Pratt
    (1, 2)

    I missed a couple from the Crimson Ghost this weekend, so here ya go....

    Lara Harris topless in scenes from "Inhumanoid" (1996). Note: she is not to be confused with Laura Harris from "The Faculty", "24" and "Dead Like Me".

    and then...a couple of .mvs of fitness babe and "Mutant X" co-star Victoria Pratt in scenes from "Whatever It Takes" (1999). She was a little too muscled up back then, and looks a whole lot better now that she's more about fitness then bodybuilding...but still, she shows off her robo-hooters and some first rate thong views.

    Jade Leung
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    'Caps and comments by Vejiita:
    Here is the HK actress in scenes from the movie "Black Cat", the HK "remake" of "La Femme Nikita". She became famous for doing her own stunts, and some are pretty amazing. Sadly this is about as much nudity as she has ever done. However, she is still doing movies so who knows. Perhaps one day she will do more.

    Jamie-Lynn DiScala
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Señor Skin 'caps of "The "Sopranos" co-star in scenes from the TV movie "Call Me: The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss". The nudity is from a body double, but Meadow still looks pretty good in skimpy clothes.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    NAKED POP SINGER NEWS ROUND-UP
    Taste Malfunction - Alanis Morissette hosted the Juno Awards, Canada's annual music awards, where she pulled a stunt to protest U.S. "censorship" sparked by Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction." Alanis dropped her gown and stood onstage in a skin-tight body stocking with cartoonishly fake nipples and pubic hair. She declared that there's "lots of fear" in the US, but she was proud to be "in a land where we still think the human body is beautiful and we're not afraid of the female breast."

  • The cartoon female breast.
  • Those actually were her own ridiculous nipples.
  • My only nudity-related fear is seeing Alanis Morissette naked for real.
  • All she proved is that sometimes, censorship is your friend.


    Coming Soon To A Website Near You - MSNBC's Jeanette Walls reports that Britney Spears did a private performance for some radio execs after a concert in Miami and her breasts popped out of her skimpy top. An insider said, "The flashbulbs really went off."

  • Especially since she left them out for the rest of the show.
  • Coincidentally, "Flashbulbs" is her nickname for her breasts.
  • After hearing her last CD, I think she'd better get used to dancing topless for a living.


    J-LO'S MOM HITS JACKPOT
    The Rich Get Richer - Saturday night at the Borgata Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City, Guadalupe Lopez of New York won a $2.4 million jackpot on a one-dollar slot machine. The casino could not confirm whether the winner is Jennifer Lopez's mother, but US Weekly and People magazines claim she is.

  • After all, how many women named Lopez could there be in New York?
  • She already hit the jackpot the day she went into labor.
  • She insists that even with the money, she'll still be "Guadalupe From The Block."


    SOY MAY PREVENT BALDNESS
    It Did Wonders For Madonna - Colorado State University researchers discovered that when digested, soybeans create a molecule called equol which protects men from prostate cancer, acne, excessive body hair and even male pattern baldness. They recommend that men start eating a lot more tofu, miso soup, soy milk and fake meat instead of beef and pizza.

  • I think I'd rather be bald, hairy-backed, pimpled and cancerous.
  • Unfortunately, that's not male pattern eating.
  • Women eat like that, and they hardly ever suffer baldness, hairy backs or prostate cancer.


    WEIRD TALES FROM CAR LEASING AGENTS
    A Party To Remember! - Nissan asked car dealers to name the oddest items left in fleet cars returned at the end of their leases. They've found a week-old bag of fish and chips, a mannequin, a chainsaw, a bulk supply of feminine hygiene products, stockings, panties, a G-string, a microwave, condoms and a dead goat.

  • And that was just in the glove compartment.
  • Moral: Never lease a car to Courtney Love.