The Whole Nine Yards (2000) is a film I am especially fond of, and, with The Whole Ten Yards due for release, it was time to redo my images, and talk a little bit about it. My intention was to grab the frames I needed and move on to something else, and I ended up watching it again start to finish. In case you haven't seen it, it is a broad comedy about a dentist (Mathiew Perry) married to a shrew (Rosanna Arquette) who wants him dead, a hitman (Bruce Willis), who has just moved next door, and his assistant (Amanda Peet). Everyone is plotting to kill everyone else, and I have never seen a film with as many twists all of which were believable, and many unexpected.

The one sour note was Arquette's performance, mainly because of an irritating French accent. Fortunately, her part was not that long. Willis was phenomenal, and Peet nearly sole the show when she was on screen. Peet is naked, but with a balcony railing hiding her crotch, but we get long looks at her breasts. IMDb readers have it at 6.6 of 10, yet it grossed $57.3M against a budget of $24M. Ebert awards three stars, Berardinelli only two. Were I to use a four star system, I would score it three or three and 1/2, but, with our rating system, the proper score is probably C+.

Rounders (1998):

A very cool movie about poker and card hustling as a way of life. A must-see if you are into cards, a watchable movie if not, because Ed Norton and Matt Damon create interesting lead characters.

Long Review

I have to take a few points off because it stars gorgeous Gretchen Mol as the love interest, and she keeps her clothes on. The only nudity comes from Brainscan's favorite actress, Unknown Stripper.

•  Strippers (1, 2)

My Family Mi Familia (1995):

Gregory Nava may be the most underrated writer/director on the planet. This movie came out within the past decade, gets a big four stars from Roger Ebert (and a near miss from James Berardinelli), is beautifully written, filmed and scored, but nobody has ever heard of the motherfucker. It has a whopping five reviews at Rotten Tomatoes. Five.

The story is about a Mexican immigrant family in East L.A. Filled with interesting characters, warmth, and humanity. As for the photography ... well just look at the screen caps in the Long Review

• Elpidia Carrillo (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Carrillo has also done nudity in at least two other films:

• The Honorary Consul (aka Beyond the Limit) ((1, 2, 3)
• Salvador (1, 2)

One naughty .wmv:

• Possibly the most graphic nudity ever performed by a classical actress. Fionnula Flanagan masturbates on camera in James Joyce's Women. Fionnula also produced this movie. (long download - 13 meg)

OTHER CRAP:

• Four free short videos from Playboy Plus!
• The Bernaola Twins were the Playmates of the Month in January 2000. Here is their Playmate Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Homocil - "because it's your problem, not theirs"
• Here's a frontal view of the Alanis Morissette nude suit.
• Jon Stewart interviews Jerry Seinfled.
• The trailer from then French film, Time of the Wolf : "When Anna and her family arrive at their holiday home, they find it occupied by strangers. This confrontation is just the beginning of a painful learning process."
• The first eight minutes and a clip from I'm Not Scared
• The first eight minutes and some clips from Close Your Eyes. Hypotherapist Dr Michael Strother has a dangerous gift; he gets flashes from inside of his patients’ minds. While trying to help a detective, he sees an image of a young girl floating below the surface of a stream. He is soon caught up in the detective’s pursuit of a ritualistic killer who believes he has found the secret of immortality. Now only Michael can help release her memories, and provide a clue to the whereabouts of the killer.
• Two clips from Kill Bill Vol. 2.
• U.S. OUTSOURCES OBESITY TO INDIA. Supersizing Rampant in Bangalore.
• The Daily Show reports on negative political ads.
• Good to know: The experts have pinpointed the 40 top spots to be abducted by aliens in Britain. One of them is Stratford-upon-Avon. No wonder Shakespeare was so smart!
• The global warming to melt the Statue of Liberty like a beeswax candle under a scorching desert sun. (Weekly World News)
• Medical industry has cures for everything, but won't release them because they'd be out of business.
• Toaster from Hell burns Satan's face into your toast. (Weekly World News)
• Nuria Bermudez says she shagged Beckham, too.
• Anne Hathaway offers a preview of what those nude scenes will look like in Havoc.
• You think your job sucks? Praise the lord you're not a whale masturbator. Even Tom Green turned this job down.
• Carson Daly to get "lifetime achievement award", presented by last year's winner, Haley Joel Osment.
• 23 year old Brit takes early Masters lead. He's played only one previous Masters, finishing 39th.
• An interpretation of Jesus's final hours, called 14, involves a naked woman drowning in a tank of vodka. Whoa. I have to re-read the Bible. It's a lot cooler than I thought. And a lot more Slavic! OK, best bible movie ... Passion of the Christ or Nine 1/2 Weeks?
• Judge Roy Moore For President "George W. Bush, on the other hand, has betrayed the Republican Party's Christian base, with half-hearted, insincere devotion to God in his public policies. Bush has lost our faith. Roy Moore is the man to bring faith back to America!". If Soros really wants to do something to defeat Bush, this campaign is where he should spend his money.
• Tigers win home opener, go to 4-0.
• Peter Bogdanovich to direct film about Pete Rose
• 'Will & Grace' star Debra Messing gives birth to a son
• Some Highish Brows Furrow as a Car Critic Gets a Pulitzer
• The new trailer from The Stepford Wives. From what I've seen so far, this has the word "turkey" carved all over it.
• The Supreme Irony: U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia spoke to high school students about the importance of protecting the rights provided by the Constitution, while the recording devices of two reporters were confiscated by a federal marshal. During Scalia's speech at the high school, U.S. Marshal Melanie Rube demanded that a reporter with The Associated Press erase a tape recording of the justice's remarks. Yeah, those kids must have picked up some important "free press tips" from that. Last year, Scalia was criticized for refusing to allow television and radio coverage of an event in Ohio in which he received an award for supporting free speech.
• This Modern World: A Terrifying Election
• Comedy Central's Jon Stewart takes on Electronic Voting and the Fox News truth squad.
• Robert Rodriguez may have to drop A Princess of Mars because of guild/union issues.
• The latest fashion trend? Dutch surgeons implant eyeball jewelry. I didn't make this up, and it's not from The Onion or something like that. It seems to be the real deal.
• Coming Soon liked The Punisher. I've gotten mixed vibes on this one. When I fitst saw the costumes, I thought it would be outrageously bad, but the previews look pretty cool, Thomas Jane is a cool dude, and Travolta is an effective bad guy if under some control.
• Clear Channel drops Howard Stern after Feds levy massive indecency fines.
• Slightly naughty wallpapers
• The NCAA Sour 16: Hoops and Helmets Sour 16 - Which schools had the worst combination of football and basketball? It's tough to argue with West Point, which went 6-21 in hoops, and 0-13 with the pigskin.
• Steve, Don't Eat It! Vol. 5 - Breast Milk.
• Probation given to a woman who made hoax bomb calls to avoid a holiday with her boyfriend. I guess she never heard of "just say no".
• Keira Knightley targeted by stalker.
• The official guide to the morality of outdoor pooping. Does the Pope shit in the woods? Is a bear Catholic?
• A British man who has sold all his possessions will bet everything on a single spin of the roulette wheel.
• The Arkansas Twisters dance/cheer squad, the Sirens
• Elisha Cuthbert says she will "probably" never do a nude scene.
• Unusual laws department: It's OK to fuck a sheep, and it's OK to eat a sheep - but not the same sheep.
• College freshman uses naughty web site to help pay for tuition. The pics show her in her dorm room. "Lewd, indecent or obscene conduct" on University property is against the student code of conduct.
• New Pics from De-Lovely (Coel Porter biopic starring Kevin Kline)
• Steven Seagal's Mountain Dew commercial is surprisingly good.
• I've been talking about some of this year's possible Razzie winners, and I wasn't even aware that we should remember The Alamo . It seems to be a strong contender. 0% at Rotten Tomatoes, and this comment from reviewer Steve Rhodes, "John Lee Hancock's THE ALAMO is cartoonishly awful!"
• Four free short videos from SPICE UNCENSORED!, clips too raunchy for Spice TV
• Stacy Sanches was the Playmate of the Year in 1996. Here is her free, nude Playmate Gallery, courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Lots of stills and a trailer for Breakin all the Rules, a film about a man who, after being unceremoniously dumped by his fiancée, pens a "how to" book on breaking up and becomes a best-selling author on the subject. Not wanting his male friends to suffer the same fate, he gives them advice on dumping their mates.
• JoBlo's movie review of The Girl Next Door, with Elisha Cuthbert.
• A new clip from the comedy, Soul Plane
• Four new clips from The Punisher.
• Astronomy pic of the day: Jellyfish Nebula
• GALLUP: American Public Expects Gas Price Increase to Be Permanent

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Susan George

Not too many Shiloh vids today. These are very big downloads.

• In the House Where Evil Dwells. Actually, that's where evil used to dwell. Now it is in a secure, undisclosed location. (.avi version,  .wmv version).

• The House Where Evil Dwells. (.avi version ,  .wmv version).

• Straw Dogs (.avi version,  .wmv version).

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmvversions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

First up...A couple of quickees. Paparazzi edits of the incredibly edible Anne Hathaway.

• Anne Hathaway (1, 2, 3)

Next....

You see certain names in a movie title and you know what there is to watch. Sinful? Erotic thriller. Midnight? Stripper movie. Lethal? Buddy cop show. Which leads us to... Bikini.

You got your Bikini Summers, and your Bikini Carwash Companies and your Great Bikini Off-Road Adventures. You even got your Bikini Med School, which just has to be an off-shore institute of higher learning.

Then you got your Bikini Hotel, which is a really good idea, if'n you ask me. Tis a story of inheritance and competition, culminating in a brisk game of putt-putt golf. There are the usual characters, including a pair of Asian tourists who look and act like long-lost twin brothers of Long Duc Dong. And everything is so very funny.... not. Bikini Hotel is impossible to take seriously, even for those who made it, and that's what makes it watchable. That and a bunch of nekkid babes.

A while back I sent in caps of Julie Strain from this opus. Today completes the list with five more babes.

JJ North plays the heiress of a run-down hotel that she rejuvenates by hiring bikini-clad and -unclad women to people its staff. She gets topless a few times and shows her bum in a thong. JJ is a veteran B-movie bim with robo-hooters about two sizes too large. Note to aspiring actresses... when shopping for after-marker equipment, less is more and anything more than less is awful.

• JJ North (1, 2, 3, 4)

Katie Colburn stars as the head maid, with a penchant for strip-poker. She loses a lot. IMDB thinks that Katie Colburn is CC Costigan. Now, I'll allow that CC Costigan also sports a pair of outrageous robo-hooters and I'll even allow that CC Costigan uses the name, Katie Colburn. but I can't see how even the most radical surgery could turn the Katie Colburn of this movie into CC Costigan. A couple of DVD purveyors claim this Katie is an Australian Penthouse Pet. Okay, that I'll believe. Katie wanders around in a teeney, weeney bikini. You see her bum in the second collage, her enhanced hooties in the other two.

• Katie Colburn (1, 2, 3)
• Jr's note, I agree with Brainscan on this one...this Kaite Colburn is not CC Costigan. Here's a collage of Costigan from "Passion's Obsession" as proof.

Bianca Rocelili is another maid, whose top pops off while cleaning the room of the Asian tourists. They are delighted.

• Bianca Rocelili

Tonya Manly plays someone's girlfriend. What you need to know about Tonya Manley is that a) she's an exotic dancer; b) she uses the name, Fantasia; c) she has starred in videos with the words "Boob Cruise" and "Ben Dover" in them. From that you can predict that she sports the most outrageous pair of robo-hooters ever conceived by the mind of man. Would love to have overheard the conversation with her plastic surgeon, as he brings out two official NBA basketballs and she says, "Those. I want those."

• Tonya Manly (1, 2)

Last up is Tina-Desiree Berg. Slim woman with sharp features. Keeps her clothes on but runs around in lingerie during the putt-putt golf thing. Tina-D also served as this movie's producer and casting associate and costume designer. Busy woman... for a while.

• Tina-Desiree Berg

So in the end all is fun and games. Add skimpy clothes most of the time and bare boobs and bums some of the time and you got yourself a movie you won't mind watching.

• Masiela Lusha, the busty young actress on the "George Lopez" show.

• Sarah Silverman, the actress/comedian bending herself over the desk during an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live".

• Kelly Ripa, the actress and talk show host showing some cleavage on "Hope & Faith".

• Jean Louisa Kelly, wearing tight work out clothes on a episode of "Yes Dear".

FREQUENT EJACULATION GOOD FOR YOU
Get A Grip On Yourself - A National Cancer Institute study of 29,000 men found that despite what your parents may have told you, frequent masturbation can save your life. Frequent ejaculations decrease the concentration of carcinogens that accumulate in prostatic fluid. They found that men in the most-frequent group, at least 21 ejaculations a month, had a 33 percent lower risk of prostate cancer.