Saturday

Tuna
"Embryo"

Embryo (1976) is a grade Z sci fi staring Rock Hudson as a scientist who had given up research after the death of his wife. He hits a dog one night, and brings it home to try and save its life. He is unable to, but manages to successfully raise a very tiny unborn pup using techniques from his research, including an experimental drug used to accelerate aging. It works so well, he decides to try it on a human fetus. Again, it works, creating Barbara Carrera, who grows to adulthood in a few days. Her aging isn't stopping, and he finally tries a dangerous and addictive drug to return her aging to normal. When this seems to work, he begins teaching her, and finds that, not having been subjected to the societal pressures of growing up, she uses 100% of her brain and learns nearly instantly, but has little emotion or empathy. Naturally, they fall in love. When her accelerated aging returns, she becomes obsessed with stopping it, and becomes a murderer.

Carrera shows breasts and buns, which you can almost see, in this terrible transfer of what was probably a horribly dark film to begin with. It could easily be thought of as a Frankenstein remake. IMDb readers say 4.5. This is bad science, bad fiction, bad acting, and a terrible transfer, winning one of the few F scores I have ever awarded.

  • Thumbnails

  • Barbara Carrera (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Fever Pitch:

    You can pretty much ignore the agenda of the critics who wrote this movie off. If you are looking for a date movie, this is one you can both enjoy. If you like an occasional romantic comedy, this is a very pleasant one.

    No nudity, but here's the full review


    Site Updates:

    Charlie's French Nude Cinema site is updated!


    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click hereto submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    Here are the official results for last week's poll.

    The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes


    Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance

    Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.


    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Today from the Ghost...another batch of Skinemax 'caps and clips. Today's feature presentation...."Sexual Temptations" (2001).

    • Adult film and Skinemax babe Dru Berrymore bares all 3 B's and has a variety of pseudo sex-scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Dru Berrymore zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Susan Hale, gettin' it on at the gym. (1, 2, 3)
    • Susan Hale zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Dru Berrymore and Susan Hale tag teaming a dude at the gym. (1, 2, 3)
    • Dru Berrymore and Susan Hale zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

    • Nikita Cash baring all 3 B's. Link #4 features a pretty good gyno view. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Nikita Cash zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Jacklight"
    Critics loved this 1995 Indy drama, mostly because of it's well-done character development and deep looks into the relationships between the characters. Unfortunately, I found it mostly boring, but I admit it was better than I would have expected of this type of flick.

    Five twenty-something friends get together for their annual hunting trip minus their sixth friend who died in an accident during last year's hunt. They Jacklight - hunt at night and shine bright lights into the deer's eyes thereby freezing them in their tracks. Then, blam! No more Bambi. (As a side note, this type of hunting is illegal in Florida, but the film was set in Texas, and perhaps it's legal there.)

    Most of the movie is spent with the characters talking and arguing about their dead friend as they happily murder the local wildlife then at the very end, a twist reveals something previously unknown about the accident.

    If you're like me and find this kind of talky character dissection to be boring, then enjoy what in my opinion was the most exciting part of the movie.....Robyn Ross' topless scene. And oh, yeah, the DVD quality was dreadful.

    Variety
    Rosario Dawson

    The quality isn't all that great, but here is Rosario showing a thong view in scenes from "Sin City".

    Bijou Phillips
    (1, 2, 3)

    Wow! Here are some excellent, high quality nip-slip images of the "Bully" co-star making her runway debut.

    Kelly Preston
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Preston's amazing first on-screen nudity! Here she is baring her perfect breasts, plus a bit of bum and even frontal nudity (links 6 and 7) in scenes from "Mischief" (1985).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    RUNNING, PUZZLES AND SEX PREVENT DEMENTIA
    But I Forgot How To Do It! - A Professor at Australia's University of Queensland Brain Institute says that a good way to prevent Alzheimer's to do exercises that stimulate the creation of new brain cells, such as long distance running, doing cryptic crossword puzzles, or something "more entertaining," like sex.

  • By the time you're that old, the crossword puzzle might be more entertaining.
  • If sex stimulates the creation of brain cells, explain Paris Hilton.


    HOT-LOOKING PEOPLE MAKE MORE MONEY
    So Explain Michael Moore - A survey of studies by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis confirmed that tall, slender, attractive people make more money. Taller people earn 2.6 percent more per year for each additional inch of height; obese white women earn 17 percent lower wages than average weight white women; and attractive people earn a "beauty premium" of 5 percent more wages than average, while ugly people suffer a "plainness penalty" of 9 percent lower wages. But the researchers can't say whether it's just because attractive people have more confidence and social skills, or there's a bias toward hotties.

  • It's because hotties have more confidence and social skills, due to the bias toward hotties.
  • Or maybe it's just supermodels and movie stars throwing off the curve.
  • It's a Catch-22: Ugly people need money for plastic surgery, but they can't make it because they're UGLY!
  • It's not fair! Fat people need to make MORE money, to buy food!


    REALLY BAD CON MAN ARRESTED
    Moral: Don't Get Greedy! - Thanh Nhat Le was arrested Tuesday in Dorchester, Massachusetts, after he opened a checking account with $171 in small bills, then allegedly tried to cash a phony check for $7,550. Police say he apparently thought they'd cash it because he'd just deposited three large phony checks. But the bank got suspicious because the deposit checks were for $250,000, $2 million, and $4 billion.

  • Is it his fault he never learned decimals?
  • He told the cops that this is the last time he'll ever accept a $4 billion check without seeing a picture ID.

  • A quick site note
    Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.

    If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!