Illuminata (1998) is co-authored, directed by, and stars John Turturro. It is about a turn of the 19th century repertory company trying to put on a play written by their resident playright.

Good points first.

One or more breasts from Susan Sarandon, Katherine Borowitz, Georgina Cates and Aida Turturro.
Beautifully filmed.
Lots of good performances.
Humorous moments, especially for those who have worked in theater.

Now for the not so good.

Indifferent dark letterboxed transfer.
A very confusing plot. It was hard to tell what was a play, and what was supposed to be real life.
The biggest problem for me was caused by the fact that every character should have had three personas. The first, their character, the second, their character playing an actor, and third, their actual character in the play. Lacking this switch from real life, to backstage to on-stage, it was nearly impossible to tell performance from "real life."

IMDb readers have this at 5.7 of 10. Some critics were wildly enthusiastic, while Rotten Tomatoes shows it as only 39% positive, and comments at IMDb reflect the same disparity. Those who liked it, adored it, and everyone else hated it. It grossed $837K in the US. I can't believe Turturro ever envisioned this as a popular box office draw. This is a C+, fans praise it to the sky, but detractors, who are in the majority, strongly disliked it. Personally, I found it more than a little confusing, and, for the most part, boring.

Updates:

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MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Full frontal and rear - the best nudity of their careers

• If you like Rachel Griffiths, here is the holy grail. A very long clip of Griffiths running around stark naked in Among Giants. Great size on the video, but not great quality. Sound is poor. Good enough, however. (.avi version,  .wmv version).  And, of course, this is also the Holy Grail if you really want to see Pete Postlethwaite in the buff, and who doesn't?

• Here is the Holy Grail for Kelly LeBrock fans - she's stark naked in The Woman in Red. (.avi version,  .wmv version)

• And here's the Holy Grail for Jodie Foster lovers - a great clip of Jodie in the buff in Nell. This is shorter, but much brighter than the previous clip we had, and is a nice crisp transfer as well. (.avi version,  .wmv version)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

A few quick red carpet paparazzi edits.

• Ludivine Sagnier, the often nekkid French actress from "Swimming Pool" and "Water Drops On Burning Rocks".

• Sharon Stone, a subtle see-thru nipple sighting.

• Sharon Stone and Jodie Foster

• Uma Thurman, the "Kill Bill" star showing some leg a just a hint of pokies. (1, 2)

Caffaro mostly shows breasts, but there are occasional bum and bush views here as well.

• Thumbnail Previews
• Thumbnail Previews
• Thumbnail Previews
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• Cheri Caffaro (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

• Cheri Caffaro .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

ARNOLD SAVES SWIMMER
No, Not David Schwimmer...Thank God - California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was swimming near his retreat in Maui last week when another swimmer got cramps and was clinging to his boogie board to keep from drowning. Arnold towed the man and his board 100 yards to shore, saving him. His spokeswoman said, "And you thought he only did this in movies."