Curse of the Komodo (2003):

It's  another cinema classic from Brainscan's favorite director, Jim Wynorski. It's better to read this on the Movie House page, because the comments correspond to some pictures.

• Glori-Anne Gilbert (1, 2, 3)

Updates:

• There are several new volumes in the I and J sections of the Encyclopedia. Those two letters are now completely finished, including celebrities with and without separate volumes. There are also a few other miscellaneous new volumes scattered throughout (in yellow). The most interesting is Caroline Dhavernas, who may be on the verge of stardom. Nobody in Hollywood really knows who she is because her filmography is filled with obscure non-Hollywood films, and you probably don't know her unless you were a fan of "Wonder Falls", but she has the right combination of ingredients for stardom. She comes from an acting family, is pretty, can look either wholesome or seductive, is completely fearless on screen, actually has some acting talent, and speaks two or more languages.  Her range of talent is quite similar to Kate Winslet's. You can think of her as Winslet without the weight problem, so with the right breaks, she could develop that kind of career. If the cult favorite series "Wonder Falls" had been loved by the general public as much as by its cult and the critics, her performance as Jaye Tyler might have made her "the next big thing", but it just didn't go down that way. I still think she's THIS close. She looks mighty good naked as well.

Some .wmv's:

• Speaking of Winslet, two of her best: Titanic and Holy Smoke.
• Two of the best from Jobeth Williams. Teachers, and Kramer vs Kramer. The video quality of the clip from Kramer is not very good, but if you haven't seen the scene, it's one of the greats! (You can find DVD caps in the Encyclopedia.)

OTHER CRAP:

• Hawaiian intrastate flights are weighted down by omnipresent doughnuts, and possibly tribbles.
• Complete transcript of President Bush's press conference
• Will California allow people with multiple personalities to use the carpool lanes? Well, almost.
• Rare 1611 edition of 'Hamlet' to be sold, or not to be.. It was printed while Shakespeare was still alive.
• Wearing Underoos is fun.
• Mike Piazza is engaged to a former Playmate. (Story only. See link below for pics.)
• Here is a free nude gallery of pictures of Mike Piazza's new fiancee, Alicia Rickter, playmate of the month in October of 1995, courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• The Transcript of today's 9/11 Commission Hearing. Bottom line: Ashcroft says the towers would still be standing, and life in America would now be exactly like heaven in that movie with Cuba Gooding and Robin Williams, if only Bill Clinton had been screwing terrorists instead of interns.
• A clip and the trailer from Anchorman - the legend of Ron Burgundy
• Looking to make your house a little different? Bring in a designer who knows MoCoLoco - the theory of modern contemporary design & architecture. I know it doesn't seem possible, but the language of modern design may possibly be more pretentious than that of wine snobbery. A sample: "Sculptural light.
  A thousand luminous dots replace the traditional lamps. The first two lights, Airco and Biodomestic, are available now whereas Flat and Lily d’Eau will be developed further and will follow soon." No wonder I make so many typos in this blog. My light is, like, totally unsculptural, dude.
• The Daily Show looks at Condi Rice's testimony.
• Masculout - the protein cleaner
• L.A. Home Prices Soar at Record Rate: "Home values in Los Angeles County posted the biggest year-over-year increase in at least 15 years in March as frenetic buying activity pushed the median sale price up 29%, to a record $375,000, according to data released Monday. "
• First images from The Bourne Supremacy
• The Men Commandments
• The new trailer for I, Robot
• According to Borowitz: BUSH MISSED BILLBOARD OF OSAMA 60-Foot-Tall Sign Appeared Outside the White House in August 2001, featuring bin Laden’s stern visage and the words “I AM GOING TO HIJACK U.S. AIRPLANES VERY SOON”
• Inventor of ubiquitous time-weather sign dies Monday at 12:14, 98.6 degrees
• Mr Puniverse - the search for the puniest man - has a new champion.
• Nader tells youths to brace for draft: "Presidential candidate Ralph Nader this weekend warned his constituents that a military draft is pending, and asked younger voters to prepare. "
• Drudge says: "Campaign 2004 turns extreme in Florida with the placement of a newspaper ad calling for physical retribution against Donald Rumsfeld!"
• Celebs Write Their Own Epitaphs: For his latest book, 'Remember Me When I'm Gone,' Larry King asked more than 300 celebrities how they would like to be remembered after their death. I suppose his own stone should read --- Larry King Live.
• Enya joins heavy metal band, but promises her fans that her music will continue to sound like the soundtrack for a Cate Blanchett movie.
• Happy Birthday, Tom Jefferson - 'Jefferson Muzzles' awards mark affronts to free speech: 13 cited for egregious bids to halt expression.
• Shock jocks go silent; cartoons clean up. A single knocker causes a cultural crackdown.
• Would you upset an alligator named Mister Cranky Pants? Some thieves chanced it, but apparently soon regretted it.
• "Of Flesh and Stone - Mortality, Death, Salvation & Transcendence" - Naked women on headstones.
• Elisha Cuthbert said she persuaded director Luke Greenfield to take her nude scenes out of The Girl Next Door, saying they weren't necessary for the character. She also vowed that she will never play a nude scene in a movie. The film opened in tenth place, despite a strong marketing push.
• Catastrophe Calculator: Estimate Asteroid Impact Effects Online
• Here is the actual asteroid impact calculator
• A virtual golf game so accurate it improves your real game.
• The United States Basketball League, Inc. (USBL) in conjunction with the Oklahoma Storm have announced the signing of Former NBA All-Star Shawn Kemp
• National champion archer only uses one arm. And he can jerk off at the same time.
• The Atlanta Hawks apologized Monday for playing a hip-hop song that contains obscenities and other graphic language on 'Family Night.' They could have mentioned that it was a night for the family of DMX, and maybe the Manson Family.
• Serena Williams fits those mammoth things into a see-through blouse
• Albatross sues Mickelson for breach of contract.
• A bar where everybody knows his sports.
• Baseball Misery Index. You think your team has problems? Imagine being an Expos fan.
• Fast-food loving Miss Missouri crowned Miss USA.
• Tycoon buys a London House for $128 million.
• Nine additional clips for The Punisher.
• Porn attracts serious pupils. I wish I could have padded out my schedule with Porn 101 instead of that crap like Organic Chemistry.
• Fantastic Four casting rumors.
• Four free videos from Playboy's Cheerleaders & College Girls!
• Brooke Richards was the Playmate of the Month in December 1999. Here is her free, nude playmate gallery, courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Bex sex babe bares all for The Sun Looks like Beckham bent her backwards.
• The ORIGINAL Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products. Accept no substitutes.
• This is an amazingly insightful quiz that you should take at work.
• GALLUP: Will Consumer Spending Remain Strong? Consumers give off mixed signals: consumer confidence increases slightly but spending intentions drop.
• Ron's Misfits of Science Website.
  • From the submitter: "Perhaps the rest of the world won't find this half as cool as I did, but here's the best of several web pages dedicated to the failed, mid-80s TV series "Misfits of Science," which was Courtney Cox's first regular TV role. The show didn't quite last a full season, but I always suspected it had something of an understated cult following. A couple of days ago, I entered the show into a Yahoo! search just to see, and was amazed at the number of returns. Either I was right about that following, or this is just another case of the internet being a place where one's fleeting thought is another's obsession.... There's even a band out there which has adopted the name and graphics from the show. Anyway, the page is complete with photos and audio clips, including both the opening montage and "full-length" versions of the theme song. Somebody got a lot of milage out of one TVLand rerun.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Miscellaneous:

• Great scene of Elizabeth Hurley rubbing an ice cube on herself to seduce Spicoli in The Weight of Water (.avi version,  .wmv version).

• Euronudity legend Marushka Detmers in The Mambo Kings.  (.avi version,  .wmv version)

• Greta Scacchi in Fires Within. (.avi version,  .wmv version)

• Not too long ago IO was talking about gorgeous Suzy Amis in The Big Town, aka Chicago Blues, and I mentioned that her only real nudity was in The Ballad of Little Jo. Shiloh dug out the scene in question. Suzy doesn't act or model too much any more. She's pretty busy, what with raising her kids and - oh, yeah - being approximately the richest person in Hollywood and all (she's now Mrs. James Cameron) (.avi version,  .wmv version)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

• Rosanna Arquette looks gorgeous and shows all 3 B's in scenes from the Van Damme movie "Nowhere to Run" (1993).

• Renée Soutendijk, topless and playing with a dude's "fun parts" in scenes from the Dutch film by Paul Verhoeven, "Spetters" (1980).

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

Hot Club California (1999) ia part Dumb and Dumber and part Midnight Tease. It goes like this: three sisters find a pile o' dirty money in an alley and run off to California to start a high-rent strip club. It helps that one of the sisters is a stripper (she is played by Tracy Ryan, aka Tracy Smith, formerly known as Avalon, a practioner of adult film arts) and a second is a strip club manager (that would be Amanda Prentice, cute as the dickens red-head). Sister number 3 is a straight-laced professional sort, played by Angela Davies. (Caps of her scenes I sent in a while back.)

So Westward Ho! Or, more properly, Westward Stripper! In California, they start the club, go through various trials and tribulations but wind up in the pink, as it were, as all the girls find guys and everyone is very happy in the end, so to speak.

This is exactly what you would expect. None of the dramatic moments will make you fugetabout The Sopranos and none of the romantic conflicts will bring up memories of Sex and the City. But those moments are not long, whereas the nekkid babe scenes are many and lengthy, even in the R-rated version I saw.

That raises a point. I've seen 'caps of one scene from the unrated version of this movie and it has way more full-frontal stuff and what looks to be seriously steamy girl-girl goings on between Tracy Ryan and veteran B-movie babe, Ava Lake (aka Mia Zotolli, aka Mia, aka Ava Niche). I also understand that the unrated version was released in 2000 on DVD, but for the life of me I cannot find a copy anywhere on the Web. So, kind and fellow reader of the Funhouse, if you know where I can acquire such a copy, please contact the Scoopsters.

The exposure. Lots of crossover pornabies. Two collages of Tracy Ryan dancing. She is impressively built. One of former adult star Jamie Lynn showing hooters and bum. And one of Dee Summers, who appears to have been cast in every movie with the word, Sista, in its title.

• Tracy Ryan (1, 2)

• Jamie Lynn

• Dee Summers

Then there are the B-movie babes. Amanda Prentice does a nice sport-hump scene. And Ava Lake dances topless, in the days before an elementary school globe of the world was cut in half and shoved under the skin of her chest.

• Amanda Prentice

• Ava Lake

Former Hefmate Katie Lohmann also plays a stripper and I sent in caps of her scenes last Christmas. You can see her again in the upper right part of Jamie Lynn's collage.

And you can see her again right now (how's that for a classy segue) in caps from Dead Sexy. Lots of el primo artists have capped this movie and there is so much to cap. I concentrated on Katie's dark standup-humpin' scene. Obsessions being what they are, I grabbed dozens of frames from this long scene and stuck them together in nine collages. Robo-hooters in them all, Full-frontal in collages 3, 4, 5, 7 and 8.

I like Katie. She's one Heffer who we can count on to give up serious goodies as often as possible and that makes her kinda special, ya know.

• Katie Lohmann (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

On the other end of the Heffer spectrum is Carrie Jean Yazel. Girl had one kick-ass body... probably still does... but she showed only bits and pieces of it in a couple of movies. Here she is the Tom Selleck comedy, Mr. Baseball. Tom wakes up next to her in a dorm room full of gals... before he is shipped to Japan. The first collage shows a sequence of shots, whereas the only frame with something resembling a bare breast is blown up in the second. Carrie, Carrie, Carrie, with such fine advertising, who could have guessed you wouldn't deliver the goods.

• Carrie Jean Yazel (1, 2)

"A Walk on the Moon"
This 1999 romantic drama, set in 1969, tells of a middle-class Jewish housewife, on vacation in the Catskills, who finds herself doing the unthinkable, having an affair with a traveling blouse salesman. No new ground broken here.

This isn't a bad movie, competently acted with some interesting characters, but it's something you'd more likely expect to see on afternoon TV or Lifetime. A chick flick, really, not so different from Unfaithful which Diane Lane did later it will probably leave most general audiences yawning. Incidentially, they got Woodstock wrong, because the place was wall-to-wall mud and rain, and not the beautiful green pastures and blue skies they showed.

• Diane Lane

• Cristina Solá, topless.
• Gloria Cano, also topless.
• Maribel Verdú, some cleavage.
• Marina Gatell, also topless.
• Sonia Ferrer topless in a dark scene.

Next up, highlights from another Spanish movie, "Días de fútbol" (2003).

• María Esteve, looking great in red lingerie.
• Natalia Verbeke, a little cleavage.
• Pilar Castro, no nudity, but gettin' it on.
• Unknown, side breast view.

Jumping back across the pond for some good ol' fashioned American nudity.

• Holly Hunter, topless and showing some pubes in scenes from "Thirteen".

• Skinemax babe Kimberly Rowe shows breasts and thong views in scenes from "Knocking on Death's Door" (1999).

"FLASHDANCE" FASHION CRAZE A LAUNDRY MISTAKE
She's A Maniac! - Jennifer Beals set the biggest fashion trend of the '80s in "Flashdance" by wearing a sweatshirt with a ripped neckline that hung over her shoulder. Now, she has revealed that it was just a "laundry mistake." She said it was her own shirt that she left in the dryer too long until the neck hole shrank so much, she couldn't get her head through it. So she cut the hole to make it bigger, never expecting it to make such an impact.