Friday

Tuna
"Misty Mundae: The Girl Who Shagged Me"

Misty Mundae: The Girl Who Shagged Me (2004) is a joint British/Seduction Cinema spoof shot in London. Although Misty had top billing, and played to parts, she didn't have much screen time. She played a secret agent, and also Dr. Hannible Letcher. Yes, the movie was full of homages, including Silence of the Lambs, Indiana Jones, Ghostbusters and the Honeymooners. Misty was hilarious as Dr. Letcher, and I didn't even recognize her. The story is about an ancient lesbian (Anoushka) who had been frozen in a cave in the Scottish Highlands, and was freed by some adventurers. Mundae is ordered to stop her after she was stolen by a mad scientist intent on cloning her to supply his sultan. His assistant, played by Rachel Travers, who also does a porno film within the film, ends up being Anoushka's first conquest. A. J. Kahn appears in a Mundae masturbation fantasy, and also as Ralph Norton in a Honeymooners parody. Sally Huxley also appears in the masturbation fantasy, in the Honeymooners parody, and as Anoushka's mother.

This is pure silliness, but with lots of body parts. All the women show everything, except Mundae, who doesn't show her buns. The best line of the movie was from an expert on the ancient lesbian, who says, "Imagine the worst parts of the bible, but with tits. This is too new for an IMDb score. The DVD incudes a blooper real, and interviews. Mundae does a reasonable English accent as the secret agent. The photography is rather nice, although there was a little too many boob closeups with no face. This is a C, exactly what you expect from Seduction Cinema, with lots of naked lesbians having simulated sex, and decent production value.

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  • AJ Kahn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Anoushka (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
  • Jessica Loveit (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
  • Misty Mundae (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Rachel Travers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
  • Sally Huxley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
     I ♡ Huckabees (2004):

    Our culture treasures originality. Perhaps every culture does. We always remember the first of this or that, and that "first" person or event becomes a cherished part of our heritage. Nobody really cares about the second. George Washington is the Father of Our Country. The second President - who the hell was it again? Most people think it was Jefferson, but he was number three. If you're really into such things or still in school, you know the answer, but I'm willing to bet that 90% of Americans can't name the second President. As for the second person to make a solo flight across the Atlantic ... who the hell cares? History only cares about the first. We believe that originality has intrinsic value over and above the difficulty or merit of the task itself. It is originality that we often equate with the magical word "genius."

    Which brings us to I ♡ Huckabees, an offbeat comedy which isn't very funny or even very interesting to most people, but is dazzlingly original. In fact, it is so original that it could well be the raving of an insane person, and provides some clear evidence of truth in the old saw about the similarity of genius and insanity. Which is it? Beats me. Maybe some of both.

    It's about Albert Markovski, an environmental activist whose life is going poorly. One of his recent projects resulted in the destruction of an entire micro-biosphere except for one rock, upon which he sits to meditate and mutter. His entire environmental group is in danger of being co-opted by a slick, charming corporate huckster whom Albert originally asked for help. At the moment we join his thoughts, Albert is obsessed with the coincidence of having seen the same very tall African man three times in three separate places. Since he can't determine whether the coincidence has any significance or meaning, he does what I think any of us would do ...

    ... he enlists the services of an existential detective agency.

    And that was some of the more normal activity going on in this film!

    It is not entirely impossible to make something entertaining out of material like this.

    • Woody Allen forged entertainment out of philosophy and the big questions in Love and Death and in several of his short stories. He scored by going for the belly laughs, by finding absurd humor in the absurdity of the universe. Huckabees does not do this. In fact, rather than making semi-respectful fun of philosophy, Huckabees takes the philosophy seriously and makes fun of those who deprecate it! (Yeah, plenty of laughs there. Those philosophers were some zany motherfuckers, as you know if you've seen Aristotle's definition of comedy. Funny, funny guy. Always cracked up Plato with the Groucho glasses.)

    • Michael O'Donoghue made philosophy funny by finding humor in the process of intellectual engagement. In fact, the rabid genius known as Mr. Mike once started a National Lampoon piece with a very similar premise to that of I ♡ Huckabees. Anybody but me remember Critique of Pure Murder? The philosopher detective Jean-Paul Sauvage was a hard-boiled, hard-thinkin' dick who wasn't afraid to ask all of the tough metaphysical questions, and finally managed to unmask a false intellectual as the real murderer, because the pretender owned a copy of Will and Ariel Durant's History of Philosophy! Huckabees does not take this kind of approach either. The detectives in this film actually work like psychologists, not like detectives. Their only detecting is to find the deceptions posed by the conscious mind, and ultimately to strip them away.

    What does Huckabees do to engage an audience, exactly? Frankly, I don't know. There were a few interesting ideas, but if there was any point, I missed it. Does it need a point? Well, no but it needs something. Writer/director David O Russell (Three Kings) is a talented guy and a fresh thinker, but I found almost no laughs in this film, no insights at all, and made no emotional connection to it at any time through any character. It seemed like a lot of babbling. All the characters speak very quickly, often repetitively, sometimes simultaneously, and usually in a very clipped manner, as if Jack Webb were suddenly to be transported back into the 30s to find himself competing for a word edgewise among Carole Lombard, Moe Howard, and Jimmy Cagney. (Dustin Hoffman even went for Moe Howard's hairstyle.)

    The British critics generally despised this movie. American reviews were mixed, and Ebert panned it, but there were those who absolutely loved it, and there is now an incredibly comprehensive special edition DVD which will be treasured by that group. Why did those people like it so much? Well, the damned thing is odd, and tries to deal with weighty issues. There will always be people who like it for those reasons alone. And it is certainly original, and just about everyone treasures originality.

    But after watchin' this movie, I'm thinkin' that originality may be overrated.

    No real nudity, but a very nice look at Naomi Watts's rather scrawny but cute bum.

     

    Spanglish (2004):

    It was an unusual day for me. I watched two recent releases and neither of them was aimed at the core moviegoing audience. The primary targets for movie marketers are (1) the male 17-39 market (2) the 17-39 date market. A film can be profitable and/or successful outside these hardcore ticket-buying groups, but these two cool and culturally savvy segments are holding the bulk of the purchasing power.

    Spanglish is a sentimental film that seeks its primary audiences outside the cool market. Its primary appeal will be to the youngest female moviegoers who go to films alone, and the oldest filmgoers who are generally burnt out on the ugliness and brutality of what today passes for hip. It also has some appeal as a date movie or a film for the family to attend together.

    It is about the members of a prosperous California family and the Mexican maid who affects their lives. The story is told as a flashback, within the framework of an essay written as part of the Ivy league admission process. Applicants are asked to name the person who most influenced their lives and to defend their choice. The voice-over tells us that the Princeton applicant is the maid's precocious daughter, who was about twelve when the flashbacks took place. Her point of view is naive, and her admiration for her mother is boundless, but she is also smart and insightful. (The girl who played this role is a very gifted young actress who had to handle the trickiest parts of the dialogue - when she was translating accurately for her mother even though she disagreed or would end up for the worse personally.)

    The white family is troubled, mostly because of a self absorbed bitch-from-hell of a wife and mother. The rest of the family consists of your standard sitcom characters: the feisty but benign old granny who offers great insights amid drunken profanities, the overweight underachieving daughter, the dickless dad ...

    ... you know the drill

    The IMDb scores

    voter group

    average score
    below 18 7.0
    18-29 6.7
    30-44 6.4
    45 7.1
       
    men 6.6
    women 6.9
       
    Two strongest segments
    female below 18 7.2
    female over 44 7.4

    I don't mean to imply that the film is somehow worse than others, or for that matter better, because it is unhip. In reality, I'm just trying to fix it in the universe so you can better determine whether you will like it. I'm a little bit embarrassed to confess that I did kind of like its gentle point of view, its syrupy attitude toward the maid (Paz Vega), and its fairy-tale Platonic love relationship between Paz and the dad, even though the dad was played by the antichrist himself, Adam Sandler.

    My hero, the Filthy Critic, could not have disagreed more. He said:

    Sanctimonious claptrap. Not much more to say. Writer-director James L Brooks made a movie of such stupendous self-absorption, shallowness, and of interest to so few that it hardly needs discussing. Rich, stupid Californian sitcom characters (like a sassy mother-in-law and a ball-busting clueless mother) discover goodness through the eyes of a hot, saintly Mexican maid. It's a story that will appeal only to wealthy assholes in LA with guilt complexes about their immigrant servants, and who think that deifying them is better than giving them Christmas bonuses. The characters are too broad and their problems are too fucking foreign to any normal person. The Mexicans are portrayed so politically-correct and simplistically I can't imagine any Mexican wanting to see it. Crap on a doily. Lame.

    It is not really possible for me to defend the film intellectually. It is not a realistic script, nor is it very intelligent, and it is a bit condescending. The uptight wife (Tea Leoni) was irritatingly stereotypical ands I wanted to shake her and say, "no, act like a person, not like a movie character." Spanglish is a sappy, unsophisticated, middlebrow movie. In any objective sense, Filthy is right, as usual.

    But film criticism is not so objective, and regular old film watching is not objective at all. I would never have gone out of the way to see this, but I really liked a lot of the moments in the film. Sandler was actually good for this movie because his unpolished style and clumsiness give it a sincerity that it desperately needed. Sandler is no actor, and he has his clumsy moments here, but the casting process was good. He does seem to have a childlike inner sweetness that he is capable of bringing out on camera, and that was enough to give the this role the spark it needed. In the end, the film left me feeling better than if I had never watched it, even if the whole process did seem as if it had been entirely orchestrated to manipulate my feelings. What the hell. People like this kind of fluff every once in a while. Families watch It's A Wonderful Life every Christmas. We want to believe that life is better than it is, or at least that it could be better. That's the kind of movie this is - not a great one or a smart one, not a film that shows us as we are on the average, but one that shows us in our best moments, or maybe as we wished those moments had been.

    Jesus, I can't believe I said nice things about Adam Sandler and Jimmy Fallon in the same week. I hope Patrick Swayze isn't in my in-box.

    • Téa Leoni (1, 2)

     

    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    This week's Poll...


    Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.



    Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
    The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes


    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Today the Ghost takes a look at the Skinemax flick, "Sexual Boundaries" (2005). One thing I've notice lately as porn babes make more appearances in softcore is that the sex scenes are starting to look a little more realistic. At times they may even really be going at it! If they aren't at least they certainly look as if they are much more often than in the past. For my money, it's a much needed late night cable improvement.

    • Adult star and part-time lady of late night Keri Windsor. Here she is baring all and gettin' it on in several scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    • Keri Windsor zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    • Venus. Another triple B performance, including a gyno view in link and vid #1. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Venus zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Venus and Keri Windsor team up for some lesbo/3-way lesbo fun. Once again we see all the fun part including another gyno view from Venus. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Venus and Keri Windsor zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

    • Wendy Rice shows mostly breasts and pubes as she takes her turn doing the deed a few times. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
    • Wendy Rice zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Jessica Drake and Jessica Drake get it on lesbo-style. (1, 2, 3)
    • Jessica Drake and Jessica Drake zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

    Variety
    Monique Gabrielle The former Pet going full frontal in scenes from the 80's comedy classic "Bachelor Party".

    Holly Sampson The late night cable actress best known for her starring role in the more recent "Emmanuelle" series of movies.

    Sharon Bruneau
    (1, 2)

    Birdcaps serves up one more fitness babe. Here is the French-Canadian model showing off a first class bum and her robo-hooters.

    Corinne Touzet AS2 'caps of the French actress flashing her breasts in scenes from "L'Amour propre ne le reste jamais très longtemps" (1985).

    Rosanna Arquette
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the oldest Arquette sibling briefly topless in scenes from the 1989 direct-to-vid thriller "Black Rainbow", starring Mozart.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    MICHAEL JACKSON TRIAL UPDATE
    Miami Vice - Wednesday, the mother of Michael Jackson's accuser took the Fifth so she wouldn't have to testify about taking welfare benefit she wasn't entitled to. But she did testify that during a flight home from Miami, after everyone was asleep, she snuck to the back to find out what was going on, and saw Michael licking her son's head "over and over." She tearfully admitted that she didn't say anything about it at the time.

  • She was shaken by the plastic surgery scars on his tongue.
  • And Michael said nothing to her...Must've been a hairball.
  • Now, why couldn't she have taken the Fifth and refused to tell us THAT?!
  • Michael claims he's just a neat freak and can't resist smoothing down cowlicks.
  • We could solve this case immediately if Breathalyzers could detect Brylcreem.


    PARIS HILTON'S LINE OF DOG CLOTHING
    Tinkerbell Is The One Wearing Clothes - Paris Hilton has designed a line of crystal collars for dogs and is selling them on Amazon.com. Hilton's Chihuahua Tinkerbell usually appears with her wearing clothing and jewelry. Hilton told the Femalefirst website that "in addition to my own sense of style, I think a lot of people admire Tinkerbell's look as well, which is why I decided to include a pet collar as part of the new collection."

  • Tinkerbell has a subhuman brain and a body so thin, she shakes, so if you admire Paris Hilton, you'll admire Tinkerbell.
  • She's right: when I think of "doggie style," I think of Paris Hilton.
  • I wish Paris would emulate Tinkerbell and put on a muzzle.


    TWINKIES TURN 75
    And Still Fresh! - This month, Hostess is celebrating the 75th anniversary of the Twinkie. Chicago bakery manager James A. Dewar invented them in 1930, as a way to use shortcake pans that were idle when it wasn't strawberry season. The original banana filling was switched to vanilla during a WWII banana shortage. For those who claim Twinkies are bad for your health, it was noted that Dewar ate more than 40,000 in his lifetime and lived to age 88, while Lewis Browning of Shelbyville, Indiana, has eaten at least one a day since 1941 and is now 89.

  • And after he dies, he'll have a shelf life of another 30 years.
  • Who says preservatives are bad for you?!
  • Twinkies are 75 years old...and those are just the ones in our break room vending machine.
  • So Twinkies survived World War II...Heck, a Twinkie could survive the Hiroshima A-bomb.


  • A quick site note
    Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.

    If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!