Wednesday

Death Toll

2008

This film seems to have been intended as a gritty street drama about the inflated crime rate in New Orleans.

Death Toll is atrociously bad, and it's not really possible to point to a single responsible element. It's just bad from top to bottom. Begin with the script. There are all sorts of conflicts established: the police versus the drug lords, gang vs gang, wife vs mistress, mayoral candidate vs mayor, and the time-worn feds vs local cops. Most of these conflicts are mentioned briefly and left unresolved. Not only is the script disjointed, but it seems to end at some random point. One of the feds is shown to be corrupt and decadent, but that storyline is left hanging. The mayor's electoral opponent is introduced, appears in two scenes, then is dropped. The lead cop's wife is jealous of his beautiful female partner, and that ends unresolved. En route to the inconclusive ending, several scenes have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of it and could easily be dropped, although the entire film is only 81 minutes long

The only nudity, for example, comes from Christina Boutte, who plays one of two girls having a three-way with a corrupt federal agent. The nudity is completely gratuitous in that the scene is completely stranded, and almost completely unrelated to the film. It has nothing to do with any scene that comes before or after. The girls appear in no other scenes, and the agent's relationship with them is never used in any way to develop any subsequent scenes. One presumes that the entire scene was tacked on to give the film some bare flesh. In addition to the three-way sex scene, there are several scenes with unnecessary or undeveloped characters, and there are several puzzling monologue scenes with DMX, all of which consist of him standing alone in a room and spouting philosophy to the camera.

And the script is one of the film's strengths.

The direction is no better than you could do with your home camcorder, a few of your friends, and the free version of Microsoft Moviemaker. The sound is filled with echoes, and the conversations are sometimes incomprehensible, a problem compounded by a musical score which sometimes drowns out the dialogue. Of course, it's just as well that you can't hear the actors because when you can hear them you cringe in embarrassment. The only performer in the movie who delivers a professional performance is Lou Diamond Phillips, and you tend to feel empathy for him because he must have realized that nobody else in the cast could deliver even a single simple line credibly, and that made it hard for him to do his best when interacting with them. I wonder how long he was involved with this project before he started wondering if he could break his contract. I'll bet LDP had a long heart-to-heart with his agent after this one.

Purely an amateur effort. The worst film I've seen in years.

 

Christina Boutte delivers full frontal and rear nudity in the sex scene. The other girl is Bridget Hall, but not the famous model of that name. The more modest Bridget offers nothing more than a bethonged behind.

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Beverly Hills Bordello: The Witness"

(1998)

A female federal agent is in charge of babysitting a witness in a big crime trial. When their safe house is compromised, she takes him to the Beverly Hills Bordello, where he has great fun, but nearly at the peril of his life. The story is good for one of these episodes, making the time pass quickly.

C.C. Costigan 26

Lizette Oliva 10

Peggy Trentini 17

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Today we go back to the eighties for a double feature.

Saturn 3

1980

First up, Farrah Fawcett shows off her tits to Kirk Douglas in "Saturn 3."

Descent into Hell

1986

Then the always-sexy Sophie Marceau in "Descent Into Hell." Sophie shows her boobs to a dirty old man while in the tub, later we get a quick flash of bush as she comes out of the water before the old guy holds a knife to her throat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Full Body Massage

1995

part 7 of 7

Mimi Rogers

Full Body Massage DVD Mimi Rogers (1995)

Purchase info from RLDVDs

 

 

 

 

 

"Bodies"

(Series 1, 2004)

This is part 1 of 2, representing the latest contribution from Johnny Moronic TV. (This is a hospital drama from the UK.)

Today: the collages and one video. Tomorrow: the rest of the vids.

 

Here are the film clips of Neve McIntosh

The collages are below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

Anna Kournikova this past weekend, looking hard as a rock, but way too slim

 

Hayden Panettiere

Tamara Mellon, Christian Slater's girl

... must fight ... melon joke

 

Film Clips

Barbara Hershey in Boxcar Bertha (1972). Although this was a cheapo Roger Corman film filled with nudity, the director was ... Martin Scorsese. Hey, everybody has to start somewhere. A year later Scorsese did Mean Streets and his REAL career began.

Brigitte Lahaie in Nuits Brulantes (1977). Very nice clips of a woman who freely moved between porn and real films. (With occasional stops in between.)

Lucia Quintana in Cuenta Atras (2008). Hot off the presses. Season two of a Spanish TV series.

Carole Bouquet in Il Cappotto di Astrakan (1979). This was her second film after "Obscure Object." She was 21 and still had that same fresh look.

Christine Boisson in Identificazione Di Una Donna (1982). She's the girl who became famous by masturbating to a picture of Paul Newman in Emmanuelle. This film was made eight years later, so she wasn't quite so adorable, but the nudity level is excellent - full-frontal, standing up, facing the camera.