Le Sadique Baron von Klaus (1962) originally La Mano de un hombre muerto in Spain, and The Sadistic Baron von Klaus in English speaking countries, is an early Jess Franco gothic horror in black and white featuring a then very controversial dungeon nude torture scene featuring Gogó Rojo. This was Argentine born Rojo's premier film -- the first of 14. She shows her breasts for most of the extended scene, and her buns as well. The young baron is told by his dying mother to destroy his father's dungeon, and then to leave with his fiancee and escape the family curse. He, instead, falls victim to the curse, and begins torturing and killing young women.

The acting and score feels more like a staged melodrama (I was tempted to boo and hiss), but does show that, even in 1962, Jess Franco was willing to show graphic nudity and violence. Visually, the film was reminiscent of the work of Jean Rollin, with castles and dungeons, symbolic icons, and an unhurried pace. The plot is suggestive of a Giallo. The French release contained the entire dungeon scene, while the English and Spanish versions were completely neutered. In a refreshing reversal of form, the edited version of the dungeon scene on this DVD is the one in the deleted footage. The French dubbing is not at all good. They even failed to synchronize a clock tick with a clock pendulum. I found the score distracting. IMDb lists this under the Spanish title and credits it as a Spanish film, but my guess is that Franco filmed it in Germany, partially with French money. The dungeon scene is far too explicit for 1962 Spain. IMDb readers have it at 5.1. This film is chiefly of interest to Jess Franco fans, and Euro Shock completeists. C-.

• About 2,000 pictures were added to the Encyclopedia, about half of it consisting of new volumes in section A

Other Crap:

• When I was a kid, you couldn't learn about sex at all. Now? Open internet. Animated .gifs for most common positions. Good trend or bad? Beats me. Different, though.
• Unintentionally sexual Star Wars coloring book
• The State Department decided to stop publishing an annual report on international terrorism after the government's top terrorism center concluded that there were more terrorist attacks in 2004 than in any year since 1985. Using similar logic, the administration has also decided to suspend publication of the annual budget.
• Brandon Routh as Clark Kent
• Admiral, I shrunk the spy plane. The Navy tests an airplane about the size of a magazine.
• Crazy card trick
• Deadwood HBO Series - Facts & Fiction
• The Architecture of Moscow from the 1930s to the early 1950s. Unrealized projects.
• Pinocchia - the nose fetish site
• A Frenchman writes about a psychosis in the French soul: "the French allergy to all things American is a national psychosis which today tells us more about the condition of France than it does about the United States."
• A businessman has filed a $4 million lawsuit against a California studio that is working on an unreleased movie starring Burt Reynolds and Raquel Welch. Unfortunately, attending court will require him to time-travel to 1975.
• Wesley Snipes Sues NYC Over Paternity Test.
  • The federal suit seeks to nullify a March arrest warrant filed against the 42-year-old star of the "Blade" trilogy by a New York family court judge, who also is named in the suit. Snipes said in his suit that he never met the woman and claimed she was a "mentally ill former crack addict" who had made wild claims in the past involving celebrities such as Prince, Oprah Winfrey and former President Bill Clinton.
  • Although the laws of probability suggest that the charges against Clinton are probably true
• Nicole's presence at the premiere of The Interpreter was mentioned in Other Crap yesterday but the scene stealer was Sofia Hayat, who pretty much showed up with her ass bare.
• NY's Tribeca Launches its 4th Film Festival with a Splash
• Welcome to Uncyclopedia - The free encyclopedia of politically incorrect non-information.
  • Very funny, sometimes bizarre, sarcastic, and creative stuff, and as PI as they promise.
  • Don't miss the Bio and picture of Barbra Streisand. "Barbra achieved a high level of notoriety in 1992 when she published the book Sex, a collection of photography of her in sexually explicit positions involving her nose. Despite the controversy, it sold zero copies."
• Here's the trailer for Mysterious Skin
  • "The summer I was eight years old, five hours disappeared from my life. Five hours, lost, gone without a trace..." These are the words of Brian Lackey (Brady Corbet), a troubled 18 year-old, growing up in the stiflingly small town of Hutchinson, Kansas. Plagued by nightmares, Brian believes that he may have been the victim of an alien abduction. Local Neil McCormick (Joseph Gordon Levitt) however, is the ultimate beautiful outsider. With a loving but promiscuous mother (Elisabeth Shue), Neil is wise beyond his years and curious about his developing sexuality, having found what he perceived to be love from his Little League baseball coach (played by Hal Hartley veteran Bill Sage) at a very early age. Now, ten years later, Neil is a teenage hustler, nonchalant about the dangerous path his life is taking. Neil's pursuit of love leads him to New York City, while Brian's voyage of self discovery leads him to Neil – who helps him to unlock the dark secrets of their past. Based on the acclaimed novel by Scott Heim, "Mysterious Skin" explores the hearts and minds of two very different boys who come to find the key to their future happiness lies in the exorcism of their collective demons."
• Here is the new theatrical trailer from Kingdom Of Heaven
• The trailer and a clip from The Game of Their Lives
  • "From the creators of 'Rudy' and 'Hoosiers,' based on a true story, 'The Game of Their Lives' follows the U.S. National Soccer Team, which showed that with passion and commitment, anything is possible - even the greatest upset in the history of the World Cup."
• Cheney made bigger bucks than Bush in 2004
• The Daily Show looks at Iranian Lady Cops and other International Developments
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Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

"National Lampoon's Thanksgiving Family Reunion" (2003)
Another installment of the series but not many people flocked to see Judge Reinhold naked in the shower with Bryan Cranston.

• Penelope Ann Miller: cleavage and pokies.
• Hallie Todd: sexy all hoed up.
• Meghan Ory: nice pokies.
• Brittney Irvin: sexy in mud wrestling catfight.

Queer as Folk: season one DVD set
Some overlooked gueststars.

• Tracey Waterhouse: full frontal as lesbian who just had sex with gay guy (don't ask).
• Natalia Harvalik: full frontal as Tracey's sex fantasy nymphette.
• Makyla Smith: brassiere practicing safe sex.
• Angela Asher: dark boob exposure having lesbian sex with Michelle Clunie, then getting out Mr. Happy.

Show Me Yours II: episode Big in France
The first episode of season two starts off with a threesome.

• Catherine Black: boobs in threesome.
• Rebecca Nicholson: boobs and butt in threesome.
• Lara Azzopardi: almost boobs.
• Rachael Crawford: not showing much.

Godiva's: episode Fancy Footwork

• Carrie Fleming: nice boobs but she didn't show her shaved clam when guy goes down on her.

Bliss III: episode Steph's Life

• Robin Brule: topless showing her a-cups having webcam sex.

Puppets Who Kill: episode The Amazing Bill

• Katherine East: nice cleavage.

Recent Coor's beer commercial
The one where some guys tunnel to a Maxim golf tournament full of supermodels.

• gophercam: sexy models.

News Alert!
Frequent Howard Stern guest Lisa Heughan made the Toronto news last week after getting arrested in a very messy child custody case. Unfortunately her only nudity was in some hefmag pictorials but here is what I dug up:

• Kung Fu: cleavage in episode Flying Fists of Fury II.
• Death Wish V: in very revealing bikini.

"Bound by Lies"
You've seen 2005's Bound by Lies a million times before. No, this direct-to-video crime flick hasn't been released before, but the plot is well worn and extremely predictable.

Detective Max Garrett is suspended for six months for allowing a witness to be killed. When he returns, he's teamed up with Eddie, who has also recently returned from suspension, and they are assigned to protect famous erotic photographer Laura Cross, who is in danger of being murdered by a killer who has murdered some of her subjects. Eddie knows her from two years ago, when she was raped, and he worked the case. They became involved, of course.

As Max struggles to find the killer, he becomes involved with Laura (of course) while trying to cope with a failing marriage (of course).

You'll wonder why Max is struggling, because you'll have figured out who the killer is about 10 minutes into the movie. The movie isn't a total loss, and has some interesting parts, but it's just been done so often that it offers no real surprises. On the plus side, Gladys Jimenez does some nice nudity, and Kristy Swanson runs around in bra and panties. Is it enough to make this a good flick? Nah, not really.

• Gladys Jimenez
• Kristy Swanson

"The Sex Substitute"
First up, the soft core. Here we have 'caps from "The Sex Substitute" aka "Body and Soul". There are probably more explicit caps around but there are plenty of breasts by Catalina Larra (Larragna - why can't they get the names right???), Jacy Andrews, Flower (Edwards), Aril Flowers aka Diana Espen, Teanna Kai and Tracy Angeles. The only item of note about the movie is the lack of breast implants in the ladies.

• Catalina Larranaga (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

• Jacy Andrews (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Flower Edwards (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

• Diana Espen (1, 2)

• Teanna Kai

• Tracy Angeles (1, 2, 3, 4)

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