Fallo (2003)

Part 5, episode "Dimme porca che me piaze"

Fallo is the latest movie from Tinto Brass, the czar of Italian medium-core erotica. The Tint-man is 73 now, and directed his first film way back in 1963, but is still up to his old tricks. This particular effort is a collection of six short stories, and some of them are pretty damned sexy. They are similar in imagination and romanticism to the best Zalman King erotica, but without the infernal teasing and excessive camera movement that almost always causes Zalman to disappoint. Tinto, unlike Zalman, not only promises the goods, he also delivers them.

Today's story is Dimme porca che me piaze, and our erotic star is Federica Palmer.

Zipped .avis

• Palmer - teasing a man

• Palmer - two words: lesbians, mirrors

Puerto Vallarta Squeeze (2006??)

Not sure what the date should be on this. It was completed in 2003, then was shelved until its video release last week. That would seem to make it a choice between 2003 and 2006, but IMDb picks 2005. The DVD box calls it MMVI - 2006.

You'll never believe who wrote this thriller about an efficient but soulful CIA assassin ... Robert James Waller, king of chick-lit, the guy who wrote The Bridges of Madison County!

A sad note: former child star Jonathan Brandis, the guy who played the young assassin, killed himself not too long after this film was lensed. He was 27.

I liked it, but not as much as Tuna did. In order to appreciate my expanded comments, you have to read Tuna's plot summary first, so here's the link.

Giovanna Zacarķas

Miscellaneous New Videos: (zipped .avis)

• Leonor Varela and Ruthanna Harper in Americano (2005). See Tuna's section for comments and captures.

• It's not always easy to predict which new releases will be treasured by the ages. As I recall, Roger Ebert gave quite a poor review and one and a half stars to The Usual Suspects, which is now a strong contender for the #1 spot of all time at IMDb. One thing we can safely say, however, is that the super-intelligent beings who rule our planet in the future will have to look back and say, "They were flawed beings in many ways, but we can forgive them all their trespasses for having given us Mr Hell." Here is Tracy Smith in the sure-to-be classic of the 29th century.

Other Crap:

Beavis and Butthead - Beavis imagines what he would be like as President (This is a "fan fiction" cartoon, not created by Mike Judge) 

Perhaps the most famous episode of Twilight Zone, in its entirety: "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" 

Mighty Casey's comeback 

Baby boomer nostalgia: I was touched by this Easter entry at Dave Barry's Blog 

Spectacular photo of a a solar prominence 

Newspaper reports: "Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will have their baby in Namibia and are considering giving the child a Namibian name."

• The paper also reported that the baby would not only look mah-velous, but also have the ability to change the course of mighty rivers and bend steel in its bare hands.

Weekend Box Office Results, April 14-16, 2006

• The box office maintained its immense increase over the previous year, as the top twelve finished 48% ahead of the same group in the equivalent weekend last year. That came on the heels of 40% and 33% increases in the previous two weeks.
• Scary Movie performed well, as expected, and Thank You For Smoking also did well in limited release, finishing 3rd in "revenues per screen," behind only Scary Movie and Ice Age.
• The disappointment among new/expanded releases was The Wild, which did considerably worse than expected, perhaps influenced by reviews which were generally unfavorable and took note of its similarity to Madagascar.

 

"Greg Giraldo takes a walk in the park with Anna Farris on 'The G-Spot.'" 

"THE creator of Max Headroom, a 1980s television cyber-presenter, has claimed he was one of the hoaxers behind the Roswell film"

• "Rather than being shot in 1947 near Roswell in the New Mexico desert as previously claimed, the film was actually made at a flat in Camden, north London, in 1995."

According to this interview, Olivia Wilde did full frontal nudity in Alpha Dog. 

Great Presidential Speeches about Decisions

The Official Clerks II Trailer

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

"XX Beautiful Prey"

XX Beautiful Prey (1996) is a Japanese crime drama that explores B&D. Kei Marimura, wife of a famous architect, is stabbed, beaten and raped. The police have a suspect, but it becomes obvious that Marimura was into the sex, especially when she seduces the police inspector investigating her case to dominate her. His young female assistant, Makiko Watanabe, is sweet on him, and when Marimura's husband is killed, as well as the detective, she becomes determined to solve the case. She ends up getting more than a taste of what B&D is like before she uncovers the truth.

Kei Marimura shows breasts and buns. Makiko Watanabe shows breasts. Remember that is as good as it gets in Japanese films. There are graphic scenes of torture and whipping (Marimura often sports major league welts) and more than a little bondage and fetish costumes. The film maker seemed to want us to come away with two messages. The first is that in an S&M relationship, it is actually the masochist that is in charge. The second is that Japanese people, because of sexual repression, turn easily to S&M.

IMDb readers say 4.3. There is a great deal of nudity, and the story suffers from that, but there was enough plot to keep me involved. The dubbed English track was professionally done. In fact, they even credited the voice actors who did the dubbing. The cinematography was sometimes excellent, and sometimes too edgy, with too much camera motion. I would call this a must see for the BDSM crowd, but the rest of you might not want to bother. This is a C-.

Kei Marimura Makiko Watanabe