Tuesday

Fallo (2003)

This is the last in the series. Part 6, episode "Honni soit qui mal y pense."

Fallo is the latest movie from Tinto Brass, the czar of Italian medium-core erotica. The Tint-man is 73 now, and directed his first film way back in 1963, but is still up to his old tricks. This particular effort is a collection of six short stories, and some of them are pretty damned sexy. They are similar in imagination and romanticism to the best Zalman King erotica, but without the infernal teasing and excessive camera movement that almost always causes Zalman to disappoint. Tinto, unlike Zalman, not only promises the goods, he also delivers them.

Today's story is Honni soit qui mal y pense, and our erotic star is Maruska Albertazzi. This one is dedicated to guys who really like the full bush look. This woman has a thicket.

Zipped .avis

 

Mrs Henderson Presents: (2005)

Just what I've been waiting for. Full-frontal nudity from Bob Hoskins!

Hoskins' dick aside, I really enjoyed this old-fashioned movie with a new wrinkle (copious nudity, most of it of the non-Hoskins variety). Tuna thoroughly enjoyed it as well. If you like the movies of the 30s and 40s, with their ability to move easily from snappy humor to poignancy, but wish they had been in color with lots of naked chicks, then I really believe you'll like it as much as we did. One again, I wrote my comments to complement Tuna's, and didn't repeat some valuable points he made, so you'll need to look at both.  Here's the link.

The pictures identified as "group" are the five women who were part of the show: Kelly Reilly, Natalia Tena, Sarah Solemani, Doraly Rosen, and Anna Brewster. I think I could have labeled them better, but I didn't want to essay it since I wasn't 100% sure. Reilly is the Blonde, Tena is the bug-eyed one, Rosen is the redhead. Of the other two, Brewster (actually a natural blonde ... er ... I think) is much prettier, but it just isn't that easy to tell the three brunettes apart in those poses.

The pictures identified as unknown played other characters who tried out for the show but didn't make it through auditions.

Kelly Reilly
Sarah Solemani
Natalia Tena
Doraly Rosen
Anna Brewster
Group shots
Extras (unknown)

 

Various videos

If you loved those Charlie caps of Helene St-Pere as much as I did (see his latest issue), here's his film clip to go with it ... (Zipped .avi - in French of course)

Here's one Sandra Bullock would like to forget. The incredibly dreadful Fire on the Amazon ... (Zipped .avi)

 

 


Other Crap:

JoBlo.com makes a set visit to Beerfest (The new comedy from Broken Lizard)

Never Before Published - The First Extracts from the Gospel of Judas

  • Judas:5:19 "And then Jesus said, We're calling it the Aristocrats."
  • Judas:12:14 "My wife keeps banging on about me not bringing home enough shekels. She bought another dress for herself and I'm in debt again. Where on earth am I going to get my hands on 30 pieces of silver????"
  • Judas:14:9 "Tonight at supper, Jesus mentioned his suspicions that somebody would betray him. Personally, I think it'll be Matthew."

Saturday Night Live: Laser Cats

  • "There are two things that everyone loves, cats and lasers!"

A New TV Drama Series from Quentin Tarantino? About Nashville? Starring Johnny Knoxville?

Bettie Page still looks quite attractive at 80 years old

Official Site of Bettie Page :: photos

"Fox will charge $1.3 million for 30-second commercials on May's Idol finale, AdAge.com reported Monday."

  • Only the Oscars and the Super Bowl charge more.

From Fort Myers, Florida, my former home: "Easter Bunny jailed after Edison Mall brawl" (Shades of Jay and Silent Bob)

A new clip from Silent Hill ("Photos et videos exclusives")

ComingSoon.net has six featurettes about, and five new clips from, Mission: Impossible III

"The traditional Easter egg hunt on the lawn of the White House came up empty on Sunday as President Bush blamed faulty intelligence for the total absence of eggs."

  • Even after witnessing the devastated school children being led away to their buses with empty Easter baskets, the president said, “Knowing what I know now, I would still order the Easter egg hunt all over again.”

The 25 Most Bizarre Job Titles

The 1811 "Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue"

One horseman saddles up: "THE average retail price of soft-shelled turtles has risen by more than 20 percent this month"

Critical editing error created journalistic phenomenon: JEANNE WOLF GIVES BAD REVIEW

  • Wolf said it should be clear to anyone familiar with her work the review wasn't written by her. "I don't even know what half those words mean. I truly apologize to anyone who felt I criticized them," the critic explained.
  • “Jeanne is my go-to girl when I need a blurb to help sell some new pile of crap they give me,” said Rob Moore, president of marketing and distribution for Paramount. “I’ll never forget when she called ‘Failure to Launch’ ‘The smartest and sexiest romantic pairing since Bogey and Bacall.’ That’s why I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw her saying something negative about a film.”

PRESIDENT BUSH ACCUSED OF LEAKING SPOILERS FOR ABC'S "LOST"

  • "Politicians fear Bush will also reveal spoiler for "Veronica Mars"

Dateline Hollywood : YOUTUBE BUYS TIME WARNER

  • “It’s time to shake up the stodgy old media companies that don’t ‘get’ the Web 2.0,” said YouTube CEO Chad Hurley, whose company is “technically unprofitable,” but is valued at $1.3 trillion based on the nine million teenagers per month who watch home movies made by other teenagers.

A milestone is passed: 200 MILLION AMERICANS HAVE NOW CREATED BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN PARODIES

The fish that hunts on land

  • African catfish show how the first tetrapods might have caught dinner.

Amplestuff - everything for large people.

  • The submitter summed this up perfectly: "This links to a website that isn't particularly well done, but it's funny (or maybe sad) that someone is making special products for obese people who can't bend over to pull on their socks."

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

Americano (2005)

Americano (2005) is a Romantic Comedy/coming of age film that takes place in Pamplona during the feast of San Fermin - best known for the running of the bulls. Chris (Joshua Jackson) is a recent college graduate traveling through Europe with his friends, Timm Sharp and Ruthanna Hopper. Timm Sharp is tired of exotic sights, and anxious to return home and start his career. Ruthanna Hopper is a little more open, but refuses to tolerate what she views as the torture of the bulls. Chris is not at all sure he is ready for the safe corporate grind. He has been keeping his thoughts, both written and illustrated, in a journal, when he finds a great reason to stay in the person of a beautiful, vivacious actress (Leonor Varela). The four begin an adventure together that includes a bullfight, the running of the bulls, and a backpacking trip.  Each of the four must decide where they want to go with their lives.

Maria Conchita Alonzo contributed one humorous song to the effort. Dennis Hopper, as an ex-patriot bar owner (the Americano), does his usual strange routine, but I suppose is there as a possible role model for Chris.

Leonor Varela loved her part, and it showed. She was absolutely irresistible. The music was also a strong member of the cast. They avoided Spanish musical clichés, and presented a score that people would dance to in Spain. It had Latin rhythms, but also the Middle Eastern rhythms that are common in parts of Spain. Spain itself was also an important character, providing more production value than a $100M production could afford to buy. 

It has been exhibited at many festivals, and finally will be released on DVD today.  While I feel sorry for the filmmakers that they couldn't secure a theatrical release, I hope they clean up with this rather nice DVD, which contains a "making of" featurette, and a special on the music.

There are no major print reviews available, but IMDb readers score it 7.7, based on 103 votes, and that reduced from the actual mean of 8.2. Women score it a whopping 9.4. This is a B-.  Even if you are not fond of coming of age films or romantic comedies, you may well enjoy this one.

 

Leonor Varela shows breasts in a swimming scene. While Ruthanna Hopper also removes her bra to swim, her breasts are still covered with white cloth.

 

"Der Ruf der blonden Goetten"

Tuna's review of this film can be found in the April 16th back issue. Somehow we managed to omit several of his images, so here they are:

Nanda van Bergen (aka Vicky Adams). She has a Dutch name and an English alias, but she's working in German-language films directed by a Spanish guy? Very cosmopolitan. Her only IMDb credits are in Jess Franco films.

various unknowns

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today we have " 8MM2".

A topless Kata Csillag.

The same with Frances Da Costas.

Full frontal from Zita Gorog.

Lori Heuring shows a little bit of tittie.

Unknowns

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on Puerto Vallarta Squeeze:

Action adventure from 2004 keeps you on your seat, and interested throughout.

Set in 1990 in Puerto Vallarta, an American living in Puerto Vallarta with his Mexican girlfriend is befriended by an American who asks them to help him get to the American border. He offers them $5,000.00, so they agree.

What they don't know is that he is an American government hit man, who is on the run because he made an unauthorized kill. As they get closer to the border, things start getting hairy as the authorities, both Mexican and American, start to close in.

Lots of excitement, and a twisty if somewhat predictable ending. Worthwhile.

Giovanna Zacarías

 

 

The Skinman looked at The Night Stalker. Here's Lydie Denier ...


 
and Tally Chanel


 
A paparazzo caught Scarlett Johannson in a bikini. A bikini? That's it? We need to get some better paparazzi to work on this case!


 
If you are into Hilary Swank, this is your day. Here is the perennially fit Oscar winner strolling around in a flimsy top, without a bra. I guess the boobs are probably store-bought, but the rest of her is hand-built by herself and/or God.


 

 

 

Pat's comments in yellow...


The A.P. reports that Kyle MacDonald, 26, had no money and a dead-end job, so he decided to try using the Internet to trade a red paper clip for a house.  Using a free Craig's List ad, he traded the clip for a fish-shaped
pen, which he traded for a hand-painted smiley-face knob, which he traded for a camping stove from a man who had an extra stove and an espresso machine without a knob.  He traded the stove for a leaky generator, traded that for a beer keg and neon Budweiser sign, traded those for an old snowmobile, traded that for a used van, and traded the van to a recording studio worker for a record contract, which he traded to a musician for a year's rent on a duplex she owned in Phoenix.  MacDonald says he's close, but he'll keep going until he gets a house he'll actually own.

*  This is how you get a record contract?  At last, Britney Spears, explained!


Two theaters in Tokyo are experimenting with a new process that will allow
moviegoers to smell films.   Special machines have been installed under the seats in the back rows, and they will emit seven different odors synchronized to the moods of the Colin Farrell movie, "The New World."  For instance, a love scene will be accompanied by a floral scent, and a tear-jerking scene will smell of peppermint and rosemary.

*  Pray that they never use it on a movie that co-stars Russell Crowe and Mickey Rourke.


Samuel Sheefeni Nuuyoma, the governor of the Namibian province where
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are holed up in a lodge surrounded by lions, told the Sunday Times of South Africa that the couple told him they plan to have their baby there and may give it a Namibian name.  He said Jolie is doing this because "she loves Namibia."

* Also, cursing your kid with a name like "Sheefeni Nuuyoma" is a good way to one-up that bitch, Gwyneth Paltrow.

 
According to the Hollywood Reporter, the producers of the movie version of the TV soap "Dallas," which has already lost a director upset over the casting of John Travolta as J.R. and J-Lo as Sue Ellen, is now offering the role of the nubile niece Lucy to Jessica Simpson

* And Jessica may direct it, too, because nobody else will