Uncle Scoopy's Fun House

This from The Anonymous Guy (Well, I guess it's from him. After all, it's hard to tell because he is anonymous.): "Valerie Bertinelli did a nude scene in a film called Ordinary Heroes. Ever see it?" No, I haven't. The Bare Facts has this to say: at 28 minutes into the movie, "Brief silhouette of breast in a darkened room backlit by window, when she takes off her blouse while on top of Richard Dean Anderson in bed". Feedback or caps from anyone?

This from The IWZ Newsboard: "I'm sure everyone knows that Chastity was in an adult movie entitled Live Bait ... well, there are some rumors going around that the scene from that movie was taken from another adult movie she starred in. The other movie is titled Porn in the USA" OK, guys, any feedback?

Diane Lane

Sing. Diane Lane. "A Walk on the Moon"

Sing. Diane Lane. "A Walk on the Moon". No comment necessary. You are SO the man, Singmeister.

Event Horizon

Once upon a time there were two movies, both considered masterpieces of their genre. One was callied "Alien", a brilliantly realized SF/Horror film from Ridley Scott, about a deep space mission that brought back an unwanted visitor. The other film was called "Solaris", about a deep space mission that caused the crew to exhibit psychotic behavior and keep living out scenes from their earth life. Solaris, an intellectual film from the Soviet-era genius Andrei Tarkovsky, son of the brilliant but largely untranslated poet Arseny Tarkovsky, is the more complex film. It is not explained whether the hallucinations are caused by an external force, space fever, passage into a time-space warp, or just the fact that you can't ever run from yourself, not matter how far you go. No monsters.

"Event Horizon" is a cross breed between these two legendary deep-space films. The monster is there, but it inhabits the minds of the crew, learns everything about them, every fear, every memory, and causes their insanity. The idea was pretty damned good, the special effects and visuals were brilliant, and they hired a good cast. Some of the moments will scare the beejeepers out of you. But they went over the top in some ways. Too many explosions (you know those Yanks)- a fist-fight with the monster, what's that all about? - too many empty-headed discussions about what man was or wasn't meant to know - and ultimately too little really original. Reviewers were sharply divided on this film. Some said it was a truly brilliant scare-fest, others thought is was a zero-star waste of their precious time. I don't know. It isn't Alien or Solaris, but it has a lot of positives.

By the way, don't go out and rent Solaris because of what I've said. Although film critics have a way of giving Solaris a lot of stars, I always caution people that it is almost unwatchable for the average viewer. Let me tell you a story. I re-watched Tarkovsky's "Nostalgiya" recently in fast forward, at 4X speed. Even at that, the actors seem to be moving in slow motion. And I'm not joking. This is literally true. Tarkovsky's concept of a two hour film is two minutes worth of plot, two minutes worth of action, a little bit of philosophical dialogue, and 116 minutes worth of atmosphere. Brilliant imagery and mood, but pacing so languid he makes an Ingmar Bergman movie seem like MTV. Here's Holley Chant in "Event Horizon"

Holley Chant, with the antichrist guy, in "Event Horizon". Roger Ebert had a funny line about this movie - plenty of foreboding, plenty of afterboding, but not enough actual boding.

Holley Chant in "Event Horizon". Speaking of the antichrist, Sam Neill, the dependable veteran uses a Kiwi accent in this movie (maybe his natural speech?). First time I've ever heard him actually sound like he comes from the Antipodes. He's a New Zealander.

Joely Richardson in "Event Horizon". No nudity. What is wrong with that director? Hiring Joely and keeping her dressed the entire movie? What was he thinking of? A gorgeous Joely can be seen very naked in Drowning by Numbers and Lady Chatterley

Mongoose

Mongoose came up with quite a find here. Ewa Aulin in "Start the Revolution Without Me". Aulin is the actress who starred while still a teenager opposite show business legends like Charles Aznavour, Richard Burton and Marlon Brando in "Candy". "Start the Revolution" was her next movie, and it was an odd one. Gene Wilder plays identical twins, Donald Sutherland plays identical twins, Orson Welles lends some presence. My college roommate swore that this was a terrific movie, and I trusted his taste, but I never got to see it. (Some reviewers ripped it a new one, by the way.) It is now largely forgotten. Until this moment. Miss Aulin was out of show business before she turned 24. I suspect she's now working as a clerk at one of those Shell Select shops in Jonkoping.