Psychos In Love (1987) is bad movie heaven. A strip club owner and a manicurist meet and fall in love. The film explores their tender romance. They are united by a passionate hatred of grapes and grape products, and the fact that they are both practicing psychopathic serial killers. He kills women if they like grapes, then cuts them up in little pieces and plays with the pieces, she kills men who like grapes or talk about the weather, then dumps their bodies on the New Jersey turnpike. Both have been at it since High School. After they settle in together, they find some of the joy gone from their slashings, and she is somewhat jealous of the fact that he ogles the exposed tits of most of his victims. There is something of a problem when another serial killer, a cannibal plumber, discovers their secret and wants them to continue killing and give him the body parts. In case you have some trouble following this minimalist plot, there is a catchy theme song that is an excellent plot review. We have breasts from Angela Nicholas, Cecelia Wilde, LeeAnne Baker, Patti Chambers, Ruth Collins, Shawn Light and Tressa Zannino, and Linda Strouth in a see through bra, all as victims. The further into the running time, the more the third wall is violated. Some of the dialogue is inspired and laugh out loud funny. Ufortunately, you will probably not be able to see this on DVD. I ordered a limited edition German DVD so long ago I forgot the details, and and after more than a year of delays, my copy 235 of 300 finally arrived. It was made for an estimated $75K. IMDb shows it at 5.2. However, the real average is 7.4, and all of the comments are wildly positive. The genre is cult horror spoof, and this is the Godfather of the genre. C+.

A Love Song for Bobby Long (2004):

The ultimate heresy. I liked this film more than Sideways. Sideways is filled with a bunch of alkie wine-geeks talking about wine. Bobby Long is filled with a bunch of alkie book-geeks talking about literature. Since, like Dracula, I never drink ... wine, but I do read ... books, there is a lot more for me to relate to here.

Having said that, let me add that both films are nicely photographed, and both have the exact same problem. Do you want to listen to two hours of people talking about wine and Central California? ... Sideways! Do you want to listen to two hours of people talking about literature?  ... Bobby! In each case, a yes answer will be sufficient to allow you to forgive the film's other flaws.

Good DVD with plenty of deleted footage, "making of", and commentary

• Scarlett Johannson
• Review

Birth (2004):

Tuna and I split on this one. He despised it. I won't say that I liked it because it's too slow and arty and Bergmanesque for my taste, but I found some things to like about it.

Bare bones DVD with nothin'

• Nicole Kidman (1, 2, 3)
• Review

Other Crap:

• Alert to new e-mail worm: (I've Got Your E-Mail)
• Fw: Remember Al Bundy's favorite magazine? "Big Uns" -- Naturbusen is the internet version -- bonus: all natural
• Quick, identify the speaker and the subject. "He said in session that he does his own research on the Internet. That is just incredibly outrageous."
• A sneak peek at XXX: State of the Union (Bottom film link on page, under "promo")
• FUCK SERENITY... DALAI LAMA LOSES COOL OVER BRATTY 6-YEAR-OLD. "When the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader went to the snack bar, Tommy Modine followed close behind, continuously tugging at his robe. It was then that the Dalai Lama snapped and told the boy to "go play in traffic!"
• Blogger uses Google Maps to "spy" on the mysterious, forbidden Area 51. Sorta
• Interesting Things to See on Google Satellite Maps. If you want to find your own house, go to maps.google.com, switch the option from "map" to "satellite" and type in your address. You can also zoom in and out.
• This day in Music :: What was the #1 song on the day you were born?, or turned 18, or got married, or any other damned day. Sorry, geezers, it only goes back to 1955 for Yanks and 1952 for Brits.
• RYAN SEACREST'S STAR ON HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME OVERSHADOWS SELECTION OF NEW POPE. New Pope "Bummed" By Bad Timing, Pals Say
• The New York Times Critic's Notebook: Cannes Selection Full of Favorites
• Stephen Colbert - This Week in God
• Jon Stewart discusses Reich's book, 'Reason: Why Liberals Will Win the Battle for America.'
• I don't know anything about this book. But I already like it.
  
   

  
  
   

   

• Ben Affleck to become an acting teacher. I'll try to keep an open mind about this.
  • In baseball, sometimes the worst hitters made the best hitting teachers. Charlie Lau couldn't hit shit. From 1958 to 1961, Lau hit .147, .167, .189, and .194. He was the Affleck of hitting. But Lau was one of the greatest hitting teachers of all time, and his star pupil, George Brett, was a batting wizard who hit as high as .390. Even Lau himself, whose lifetime average was .181 after the 1961 season, managed to creep up to .255 by the time he retired, so you might say he got a .250 average out of .180 talent.
  • And the great acting teacher, Lee Strasberg, was nothing special as an actor, from what I saw of him.
  • So Affleck's acting ability doesn't necessarily predict his ability to teach acting.
  • Now that I've spouted all those measured and fair disclaimers, let me say that I'm still a little skeptical about Ben Affleck Acting School. Sounds to me about as promising as Paul Giamatti's Golf Academy
• Prophecies about the Last 10 Popes by Malachy.
  • Ol' Malachy said this pope would be "The Glory of the Olive". The Order of Saint Benedict has claimed that this pope will come from their ranks because they are also know as Olivetans. Although Cardinal Ratzinger is not a Benedictine, he did take the name Benedict, so I'm going to have to say that Malachy the Prophet is entitled to the highly dreaded "partial credit."
• Cardinals select Ratzinger as the new pope Pope. He will take the name Benedict XVI.
  • Given his age, the cardinals might just want to hang around Rome and catch a few shows before the next conclave.
  • The last time a German was pope, England was still in Saxon hands and its king was Edward the Confessor! Victor II , the pope from 1055 to 1057, came from Swabia (Schwaben), the Black Forest region of Germany. His successor was from Lorraine, so I guess he could be called German, sort of, but he only lasted a year anyway, so the German popes ended either in 1057 or 1058.
• Ed Helms of the Daily Show demonstrates Grand Theft Auto: Vatican City
• Jon Stewart reveals that the first rule of conclave is "do not talk about conclave."
• Woman Accidentally Drives Car Off Parking Garage. The car landed on its nose, the flipped over on its roof, but she walked away with no major injuries.
• Baseball fans! The new issue of Mudville Magazine
• Weird ... Has Johnny Gosch Been Found?
  • Remember Jeff Gannon, the alleged gay escort who got credentials for the Presidential press conferences and lobbed softball questions to President Bush?
  • In 1982, a paperboy named Johnny Gosch was kidnapped in West Des Moines . For years, his disappearance made national headlines. And now, 23 years later investigators are investigating new developments in Johnny’s case. Somehow, the trail seems to lead to ... Jeff Gannon
• This week's limited release movies: House of D - 17% positive reviews. Some very harsh reviews for this film, which was written and directed by David Duchovny:
  • "A cacophony of completely false notes that end in a tear-jerking crescendo."
  • "Awkward and atrocious in equal measure."
  • "The reasons to avoid House of D can best be summarized in a simple declarative sentence. Robin Williams plays a retarded janitor."
  • "It's unfortunate not so much for Duchovny as it is for the viewer, who must endure a cloying, achingly precious coming of age story."
  • "David Duchovny’s misguided House of D is now the barometer I use to judge how bad other films are."
• Charlotte Rampling and David Thewlis have joined the cast of Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction (It takes place in London this time.)
• The Inflatable Granny
  • I'll be honest. I don't know why this Asian site exists. Perhaps some crazy porn thing, perhaps a medical dummy to train nurses ... I don't know, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know either way because it's the element of not knowing that makes it all so weird.
• Porn Bread's time-honored recipe for Bukkake Cookies
• Borowitz: "Five hundred supporters who identified themselves as the posse and ho's of Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) marched on Washington today to voice their support for the embattled House Majority Leader.
• Tom's Official Website announced that Tom Snyder has been diagnosed with leukemia. He made the post personally. Our best wishes go to a man whose voice filled up a lot of our sleepless nights.
• Dustin Hoffman receives gala tribute in New York
  • "After hearing Mike Nichols take some digs at his nose and Robert de Niro joke about his age, Hollywood veteran Dustin Hoffman took to the stage of New York's Lincoln Center and spoke about his sense of failure."
  • I'd say the boy did purty damned good for a failure.
• London marathon winner makes "unscheduled toilet stop at the roadside four miles from the end - which was watched by millions of TV viewers."
• Arrest Warrant Issued for 'American Pie' Actress Natasha Lyonne.
  • I don't know what that judge was thinking of. She doesn't have to obey laws, she's a celebrity. Well, she kinda used to be a celebrity. Maybe now that her star has dimmed, she will have to obey a few important laws, but none of those chickenshit ones

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.

Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes

Some assorted goodies from the Ghost today...

First up, B-movie regular Bobbie Phillips baring all in scenes from "The Hustle".

• Bobbie Phillips (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
• Bobbie Phillips zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4)

Next up, one of the Ghost's personal favorites, Ashlie Rhey. Today we see her topless and showing off a thong view in scenes from the 1993 erotic thriller, "Save Me".

• Ashlie Rhey (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Next we have a few video clips, zipped wmvs as usual.

• "Big" co-star Elizabeth Perkins, topless and showing just a hint of pubes in a sex scene from "I'm Losing You" (1998).

• One more from "I'm Losing You". Here is Rosanna Arquette in black undies and baring a bit of bum.

• Recent Best Supporting Actress nominee Virginia Madsen showing some partial breast views in scenes from "Third Degree Burn" (1989). (1, 2)

"The Woodsman"
Well done if sometimes unpleasant 2005 drama about a pedophile who is released after 12 years in prison.

He gets an apartment across from an elementary school (something that could not happen legally in many communities) and tries to resume a normal life, but he is shunned by friends and even family.

He takes up with a hard-edged woman from work who is willing to overlook his past, but others, including the local police who hound him constantly, are not. When he is befriended by a young girl in a neighborhood park, he must try to come to grips with his own demons while trying to help her with her problems.

Excellent acting and a very good storyline that is designed to neither defend pedophiles nor persecute them gives us an excellent and thought provoking movie. Very well done.

• Kyra Sedgwick

DATING SITE JUST FOR GORGEOUS PEOPLE
Supermodel Breeding Farm - A dating website called BeautifulPeople.net has launched in the U.K. for people who are sick of dating people who aren't as pretty as they are. Potential members submit a photo, and members of the opposite sex vote on whether they're attractive enough to join. A spokesman said only one in 15 gets in, but they make no apologies: they exist solely so that beautiful people can meet other beautiful people; they are "exclusively for the gorgeous"; and it's an online dating site you'd actually want your friends to know you belong to.

If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!