The Trouble with Perpetual Deja-Vu (1999) is a slice of life film that takes place on Cape Cod in the winter time. Danielle (Devery Doleman) and her husband are year round residents living with her hippy mother. He was the Goth stud in High School. The marriage lost most of its luster on their wedding night, when sex wasn't ten tender passion she expected. She has taken to heavy drinking, disappearing for hours at a time, and having indiscriminate sex. Hubby puts all his energy into his real estate business, which is all he really cares about, while she strikes up a hot affair with an old High School friend.

It is off season, and Cape Cod is not bustling with people. One of their favorite pass times is going into homes closed for the winter. Hubby discovers them while trying to show a property to a prospective buyer, and is crestfallen that he might lose the sale. Doleman is naked and having hot sex for most of the film. She has been getting steady work since this film.

Sometimes a film is so spoiled for me by one element that I can't even evaluate it, and that was the case here. Doleman is not hard to look at and can act, the sex scenes were hot and honest, but the photography was worse than amateurish. They seldom had anything in sharp focus, had lots of motion blur, and often keystone perspective distortion. I basic photography class would advance the quality immeasurably. IMDb readers have this at 5.1, and it won awards at minor festivals where it was first seen. Director/Writer/Producer Todd Verow has 16 credits at IMDb. Hopefully his camera technique has improved since this film, as he is not a bad story teller, and knows how to do sex scenes. This is a C-.

The Turning (1997):

The Turning is a movie adapted from a play ("Home Fires Burning"), and it shows. It's a "serious drama" which really has only five characters, in which stagy speeches are delivered on claustrophobic sets.

A young man returns to his home town after a four year absence. He doesn't seem to be a very happy fellow, given his predilection for Nazi t-shirts and his ability to antagonize everyone in town. His motivation for returning is gradually revealed to be the simple-minded hope that he can keep his parents from divorcing, and he plans to accomplish that by terrorizing dad's new girlfriend into leaving. Ignoring the reality of his parents' broken relationship, he reasons that the disappearance of the girlfriend will drive dad back into mom's alcoholic trailer-trash arms. The kid's world-view gives the impression that he's not the brightest bulb on the family tree, but his mother doesn't seem like a candidate for the Schweitzer Chair either. In fact, she might have some trouble with a Rocking Chair, given the complex and confusing movement.

Blah, blah, blah ... Melodramatic speeches made with knives at other people's throats. Etc. It seems like one of those William Inge plays from the 1950s.

The film is memorable only for two facts (1) it represented 24 year old Gillian Anderson's feature film debut, and (2) it remains the only time in which Ms. Anderson has removed her bra for art. This film was made in 1992, pre X-Files, and sat on the shelves unreleased for five years, waiting for Gillian to become a big star on the X-Files, at which point it was released with a video box featuring a close up of Ms. Anderson tugging at her bodice, even though she is the fifth lead, and has a part which is not essential to the story's main development. She did look ripe and sexy, but Gillian did not do an exceptional acting job in her small role, and her supposed small-town Virginia accent is actually just some kind of Generic Confederate.

I love these facts from Gillian's IMDb bio:

"In high school, was voted "Class Clown" and "Most Bizarre Girl". Was voted "Most Likely to be Arrested" by her classmates in high school, and was, in fact, arrested on graduation night for trying to glue the locks shut at her high school."

I'm guessing she is an interesting person.

I'm certain she is more interesting than this film, which scores a big 3.2 at IMDb, and probably would never have been released at all if Gillian had never become a star.

• Gillian Anderson. (1, 2, 3, 4) I have never before seen a capture of the frame shown in collage #1, which clearly shows her face and her right breast together.
• Here is a zipped .wmv of Gillian's entire scene, which is actually fairly sexy, albeit brief and incomplete.

Other Crap:

• Urban Legends Reference Pages: "An unusually high percentage of the child actors who starred in the Our Gang film series have met tragic ends." Conclusion: False, but with stipulations. Interesting article.
• How Google is taking over the world.
• File-swappers who distribute a single copy of a prerelease movie on the Internet can be imprisoned for up to three years, under a bill that's slated to become the most dramatic expansion of online piracy penalties in years.
• Google introduces "My Search History" in Beta. These guys are amazing. Constantly upgrading.
• College tests Alan Turing theories with 'Imitation Game' experiment
• The punch that killed - TV special tells the story of boxer Emile Griffith
• 25 Signs you are going to hell
  • Can name more beers than Commandments.
  • Covet your neighbor's wife, husband, car, house, donkey or any of their household appliances.
• President Bush Sends Warm Congratulations to Pope Benedict XVI on His Saintly Rise From Hitler Youth to CEO of Neverland Ranch Global, Inc. (do I need to say it's from WHITEHOUSE.ORG?)
• Conan O'Brien's actual items.
• Late Night: Pilgrims visit the FedEx Pope
• Conan O'Brien's staff solves the energy crisis.
• Conan O'Brien's "If they Mated"
• Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Fallon look ahead to the Year 2000!
  • "President Bush will admit that at the funeral of Pope John Paul II he mistook a nun for the pope's wife, called her Mrs. Paul, and told her how much he loved her frozen fish sticks."
• The "other" Corey has falled even further than Feldman
• Here's a new clip from Crash. I have to admit I didn't really see the point in this clip, and it didn't do anything to motivate me to see the film.
• The trailers and four clips from Howl's Moving Castle, a new animated Disney thing.
  • "Academy Award-winning director Hayao Miyazaki ('Spirited Away') takes moviegoers on an amazing new animated adventure that celebrates the power of love to transform and the resiliency of the human spirit in the face of adversity."
• The trailer and clips for Unleashed
  • Strange combination of talent. Written by Luc Besson. Takes place in Glasgow. Stars Jet Li, Morgan Freeman, and Bob Hoskins.
• The trailer for A Hole in One
  • "Set in small-town America circa 1953, A Hole in One is a romantic drama starring Michelle Williams as Anna, a young woman whose desire for piece of mind leads her to covet its latest fashion -- transorbital lobotomy."
• The trailer for Yes
  • 'Yes' is the story of a passionate love affair between an American woman (Joan Allen) and a Middle-Eastern man (Simon Abkarian) in which they confront some of the greatest conflicts of our generation - religious, political and sexual. Sam Neill plays the betrayed and betraying politician husband and Shirley Henderson a philosophical cleaner who witnesses the trail of dirt and heartbreak the lovers leave behind them, as they embark on a journey that takes them from London and Belfast to Beirut and Havana."
• A second trailer for the French thriller High Tension: "The film centers on two teen girls who settle in for a relaxing weekend at a country farmhouse, unaware that a violent intruder is speeding toward them to transform their dreams into a relentless, bloody nightmare."
• Bill Cosby's 'Prior Bad Acts' - Alleged sex assault victim says 10 other women will come forward.
• "Aw, Who'm I Kidding... I'll Never Top 21 Jump Street", by Johnny Depp (The Onion)
• MrTwig's net has the new episode of South Park. (Erection day)
• Here's another "people search" engine to mess around with: ZabaSearch.com free people search
• This week's theater counts for new and expanded films. Lots of choices this week. The key stats:
  • The Interpreter 2700
  • A Lot Like Love 2400
  • Kung Fu Hustle 2300
  • King's Ransom 1500
  • Madison 90
  • The Game of Their Lives 60
• This week's movies: Madison - 25% positive reviews (one out of four).
  • Negative: "Peddles condescending hokum as heartland values."
  • Positive: "It succeeds. Recalling a sweeter era in filmmaking, Madison is a movie you can watch with your grandmother."
• This week's movies: The Game of Their Lives - not enough reviews for a score, but two of three reviews are positive, and one of those is VERY positive (9/10): "In this inspiring sports film set in the 1950s, the US World Cup Soccer team rises above insurmountable challenges and defies popular opinion to become champions. "
• This week's movies: King's Ransom - no advance reviews
• This week's new movies: A Lot Like Love - 67% positve reviews (Wha???). Some critics really liked the first half of the movie, but the score is misleading. It is based on only nine reviews, and the two "cream of the crop" critics gave it a thumb down. Still and all, it must be better than one would expect.
• This week's new movies: The Interpreter - 83% positive reviews.
• This week's new movies: Kung Fu Hustle - 87% positive reviews.
• Justice Antonin Scalia Releases Personal Sodomy Stats
• Romanian Thief Hid Mobile Phones In Her Vagina
  • "Oh that's good. Don't stop. I hear bells. I hear bells" ... "Yup - It's for you"
  • I did not make this up: she failed to turn a phone off, and the police caught her by dialing her coochie.
• Poet C.K. Williams, winner of the Pulitzer Prize and many other honors, has been named this year's recipient of the Ruth Lilly Poetry Prize.
  • Poetry editor Christian Wiman said, "C.K. Williams is a master at dramatizing complicated psychological states, but he is also always equally concerned with the self's relation to the larger world. More important, his poem was the only entry that didn't begin with 'There was a young man from Nantucket'"
• Pamela Anderson says people who wear fur "like Jennifer Lopez...smell like a wet dog and they look fat and gross. They look really immature and unenlightened." I'm pretty sure you can write your own joke here.
• Paris explains why she is no longer friends with Nicole. I can understand. Paris is a Hegelian, and Nicole has been shown to favor the modernist Christianity of Teilhard de Chardin. A philosophical breach like that is almost impossible to mend. Lucklily Pam Anderson is set to intervene, calling them both "stubborn, immature, unenlightened poo-poo heads."
• Ian McKellen and Alfred Molina joint The Da Vinci Code. The producers hope that the re-write, featuring Magneto and Doc Ock, will provide more a a challenge to protagonist Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks).
• Daily Show: Eye on Breasts
• Sarah Vowell discusses her book, Assassination Vacation, with Jon Stewart.
• The Daily Show's Samantha Bee reveals why a fake 'Town Hall' is better for our democracy. "pre-screened citizens are free to express the President's opinions and pepper him with compliments"
• The Daily Show covers the "new pope" chimney.
• Worshippers adore the Blessed Holy Mother of the Salt Stain Underpass Vagina
• The Givernator says the U.S. should 'close the borders,' but ... um ... allow all existing immigrants to stay. Unless they are not governators.
• SI chooses the best NFL draft bargains of the last two decades.
• CLAY Aiken opens up on today's 'Dr. Phil' about the merciless bullying he endured in junior high school and how it made the future 'American Idol' star a better person. Oh, bull. He did OK. After all those other kids kicked his ass, he always came over and beat me up for my lunch money.
• Fred Durst demo video from 1989
• JoBlo visits the set of Final Destination 3
• Three new TV spots for Revenge of the Sith
• Google Sues Click Inflators - succinct write-up on Slashdot.
• Opera 8 has finally been released, if anyone still cares. I was pleased with Opera, but I've just plumb ignored it because Firefox and MSIE seem to take care of all my browsing needs.
• Lead paragraph of the day: "A roll of toilet paper the size of a car caught fire at a factory yesterday, in a blaze which took more than eight hours to put out."
• Morning show wars are heating up - "Today" is in trouble.
• Finnish company claims ability to wipe out file-sharing overnight.
• Seo Sang-moon passed the academic part of his driver's license examination on his 272nd attempt. I think I went to high school with that guy. Of course, back then he was only on his 85th or 86th attempt.
• The sexless marriage is one of several reasons why experts fear Japan is on the verge of a demographic disaster. I'm not sure how important the other reasons could be if people are not having sex. It seems that additional stuff would be redundant.
• ANDY DICK was bundled off stage after infuriating crowd members at his stand-up show by dropping his trousers and exposing his Andy. Oh, well, he won't need that kind of work when they announce him as the new James Bond.
• UK Celebrity Wrestling bosses have spent hours editing out breast flashes from the female contestants. Nice job to have, but certainly not very well appreciated

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.

Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes

Today we have a joint Ghost/Mr. Skin collection... The Ghost provides the vids, the Skin-man provides the 'caps. Scenes from the direct-to-vid comedy, "Slammed" (2001).

The vids (zipped .wmvs as usual)...

• Former Heffer Katie Lohmann (April 2001). Here she is showing off her robo-big'uns.

• Miller Lite cat fighting babe Kitana Baker. She shows off her fake'uns in both, and gets it on a little bit in #2. (1, 2)

• Tamie Sheffield, the actress, model, former cheerleader and Fear Factor winner showing off a first class bum (covered in undies, but still very nice). She also plays with her implants.

• Tamie Sheffield, Kitana Baker and Somaya Reece are all topless. in this clips.

The 'caps...still frames from the scenes above.

• Kitana Baker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

• Katie Lohmann (1, 2)

• Somaya Reece (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

• Tamie Sheffield (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

"Deep Evil"
Needless to say, the scene in the collage didn't appear uncut on the Sci-Fi channel. The rest of this 2004 made-for-cable killer virus movie did.

In the 1950's, scientists in Siberia find an alien microbe in a drop of water contained in a meteorite fragment. In 2004, a group working at a top-secret lab in Alaska manage to clone it. When the lab suddenly reports a total lockdown due to contamination, a group of military and scientists are sent to find out what happened.

As you might guess, this lame and predictable movie is right where it belongs.... on the Sci-Fi channel. Pretty nice topless scene by Lindsay Maxwell, though. Thanks, Lindsay, for providing a nice 30-second timeout from a pretty dumb flick.

• Lindsay Maxwell

Vicenta N'Dongo
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

MOVIE STAR WANTED FOR DOG MOLESTATION THREAT
No, Not Mickey Rourke - An arrest warrant was issued in New York for "American Pie" star Natasha Lyonne after she failed to show up for a hearing into alleged harassment of her neighbor. Lyonne, who pleaded guilty to drunk driving in 2001, allegedly banged on her neighbors' door, stormed into their apartment, yanked a mirror off the wall, and made threats, such as, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog!"

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