Monday

Bernard and Doris

2007

When Doris Duke died in 1993, she was one of the richest women in the world and a highly respected philanthropist. She was the sole heir of the tobacco fortune established by her father and grandfather. Grandpa was THE Duke, as in Duke University. She left behind one of the most famous wills in recent history, a sort of honest-to-goodness equivalent to the Melvin Dummar will, in that she left a vast sum of money to her gay butler and made him the trustee of all of her foundations.

This film is an attempt to explain that action.

A rather poor attempt.

The opening credits inform us that, "Part of the story is based on fact. And part is not." That alone should be a red flag warning us that bullshit is about to be shot in profuse quantities. If the bullshit alone were the problem, I would not really be complaining. After all, such historical speculations are commonplace and will continue to be despite my distaste for them. Where the film really falls down is that it completely ignores the specific portion of Doris's life when she actually re-wrote the will in favor of her butler. There's no attempt to show how she made that decision, or what went through her mind as she considered it. There's no attempt to show the reactions of her lawyer or lawyers. The entire film concentrates only on various anecdotes concerning Doris and her butler, and as the title card warns us, many of the anecdotes are imaginary.

In other words, a film about why a rich woman re-wrote a will to favor her butler has no scenes which show her doing so, and the veracity of the other scenes is unreliable.

What's even worse, the scenes aren't that interesting either.

Based on the value of the superficial script, this would be just another slapdash, sensational made-for-TV quickie except that the specific TV channel which made it is the prestigious HBO. Such is the respect accorded that company that two distinguished A-list actors accepted the roles of Doris Duke (Susan Sarandon) and the gay Irish butler (Ralph Fiennes). OK, then it has that goin' for it. But strip away Fiennes and Sarandon, and what's left is a project which was just not worth doing in the first place.

In not completely sure, and I don't even know if I care, but I think the 60-year-old Susan Sarandon actually showed a breast when her nightie pulled to the side in this ultra-dark sex scene. (See the enhanced sample to the right.)

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

The Backwoods

2007

This thriller is set in the seventies and has a seventies feel to it. It would not be everyone's cup of tea, but I kind of liked it. Sadly the nudity level was not that high but Virginie Ledoyen is very easy on the eyes. She does a kind of wet blouse scene which is very sexy and then has a 'Damsel in Distress" rape scene which shows maybe the top of a nipple.

Virginie is joined by Aitana Sanchez-Gijon down at the old swimming hole where they both do some full frontal, but it is a long shot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
Claudia Michelsen in 12 Heisst: Ich Liebe Dich
Eva Gonzalez in Se Llama Copla
Iris Berben in Zwei himmlische toechter: Ein Tenor nach Paris
Katja Flint in Der Fall Vera Bruehne
Melanie Griffith in Nobody's Fool
Sonja Kirchberger in Peter Strohm: Einsteins Tod
Veronica Ferres in Schtonk! Dumb title. GREAT nudity.
Anneke Kim Sarnau in Fremde Haut
 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Kirsten Dunst

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walk Over Me

(2007)

 

Walk All Over Me starts humourously enough as it briefly explores the domination, but then it quickly turns into a by-the-numbers crime caper, which is a shame. Leelee and needed to do more in the dominatrix gear.

(Sorry, no nudity, but Leelee looks great.)

Leelee Sobieski

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Film Clips

I was thinking of putting this on the top of the page, but then I thought about it and decided if I did that you'd never look at anything else. Penelope Cruz in Elegy! (2008)

The film clips are just kinda "cam" quality, but even at that it's great stuff. Just wait until it's on Blu-Ray. I reckon this one is a shoo-in for the top ten in the annual best nude scenes balloting.

Samples below:

Kind of lost in the excitement was a brief flash of breast from Patricia Clarkson in the same movie.

Nastassja Kinski in Stay as You Are (1978). Some early nudity from Nasty. She co-stars with Mastroianni in this one. She falls in love with a man old enough to be her father. As it turns out, he IS her father. Those Europeans sure love some incest movies!

Barbara de Rossi, also from in Stay as You Are

Anne Caillon and Laura Smet in UV (2007)

Rena "Sable" Mero in Girl Camp (2004) (aka Lesbian Fleshpots)

Pics

 

She's not naked, as usual, but Aniston once again looks great in a bikini.
Three women from the "look good naked" issue of Allure: Angie Harmon
... Zoe McClellan ...
... and Gabrielle Union
Kim Kardashian showin' some deep plumber's crack in Complex magazine