Wednesday

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baberellas

(2003)

Baberellas is the story of an episode of the intergalactic TV show "Plunder That Planet." Naturally, this week's target is Earth. Queen Sartanika, the show's host, has to tap into the sexual nexus of Earth in order to drain all of Earth's sexuality. After an initial failure with a woman who is so lacking in sexuality that she fakes orgasm when masturbating, the aliens zero in on an all-girl band called Top Heavy. The girls' motor home breaks down, stranding them in the desert, and making them easy prey for Sartanika. The good queen is certain that one member of the band must be the coveted nexus.

This is a muddled mess, with little or no humor, a nearly incomprehensible plot, bad acting, and way too many cheap special effects. There is no sex, no sex, simulated or otherwise. It is a boob-fest, but even that is spoiled by cutesy photography and motion blur.

IMDb readers say 3.9. Genre review sites were not kind. I agree.

Athena Demos

 

Julie K Smith

 

 

Jana Kova

 

Julie Strain

 

Regina Russell

 

 

 

Sasha Peralto

 

 

Linda Vox

 

Group

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blue Velvet

1986

The Time Machine goes back to 1986 for the controversial flick Blue Velvet and some Hall of Fame nudity from Isabella Rossellini - although some of the scenes are rather dark and the poor girl was beaten and battered. Caps and three clips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

"Honest"

2008

Maye Choo in this ITV series from the UK.

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

Postal

2008

The latest from Uwe Boll. Here is the orgy scene. Holly Eglington is the topless woman; Lucie Guest is bottomless; Michaela Mann is in the blue top; and Julia Sandberg shows bethonged buns eating out Holly.

To be released theatrically May 23 (??)

Scoop's note: you may be wondering how this film comes under the auspices of Spaz, master of all things Canadian.

Dr. Boll used to finance his films by taking advantage of some very favorable tax incentives in Germany. The Germans closed up some of those loopholes, so the ingenious Dr. Boll just packed up key portions of his operation and moved them to Canada where he takes advantage of the various incentives they offer to encourage their own film industry.

By the way, it's a zany comedy about terrorism starring one of The Kids in the Hall and mini-me and, of course, featuring an appearance by Michael Paré, who is now Uwe's main man. Paré will star in Tunnel Rats and Far Cry, two more Uwe films near the end of the pipeline. Tunnel Rats is a Canada/Germany co-production, but is a Vietnam War drama to be filmed in South Africa. Doesn't sound like a Boll movie, does it? Far Cry is a more typical Uwe project, a video game adaptation to be lensed in the Vancouver area.)

 

 

Elegy

2008

Haven't seen the movie but check out this Amazon listing for the source book, "The Dying Animal" by Phillip Roth, and notice where the "search inside" arrow points to.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0618135871/internetmoviedat/

(See it before Amazon catches on!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Film Clips

The DVD of Solstorm has a little longer version of the Izabella Scorupco sex scene in the special features. (Sample right.)
Ashley Laurence in Triplecross

Two from Gettin It: Jessica Canseco and Tara Rice

Sylvia Leifheit in 14 Tage lebenslaenglich

Valentine Demy in Snack Bar Budapest

Pics

The "rarely capped scenes" guy has another interesting variety contribution: Cindy Williams in "One Flew Over Milwaukee," an episode from season one of Laverne and Shirley.

 

 
Julianne Moore in Vogue (French edition). She looks terrific. And the woman is 47 years old!