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Tuna
"Lady Chatterley"

Lady Chatterley (1992) is a BBC TV 4 part mini series written and directed by Ken Russell, and based on three books by D. H. Lawrence, including Lady Chatterley's Lover. The other two lesser known books were also about Lady Chatterley. Lady Chatterley's lover was banned in the UK, and was the subject of their most famous obscenity trial. The proponents of the book finally won out. This series is rated 4.0 of 10 at IMDB, which is a fairly accurate view of the films merit as entertainment, The story is really less about the infamous love affair between Lady Chatterley and the gamekeeper than it is about the evils of class distinction in the first part of the 20th century.

The film begins just after WWI, when Lord Chatterley returns home for the war paralyzed fro the waist down. He can't bring himself to touch his beautiful wife, and encourages her to take a lover, and, if possible, bear him an heir. She is not at all interested, but tires of being nursemaid to this bitter, demanding man. She finds peace in the woods at the cottage where the gamekeeper lives, and eventually finds the qualities in him that unleash her sexuality. She is a nature lover, and believes that people are created equal, and that everyone deserves respect. When word of the affair gets out, the gamekeeper becomes a social outcast.

Lady Chatterley is played by Joely Richardson, daughter of Vanessa Redgrave, who was 27 when the film was made. She is nude in several scenes, some of them in clear light, and we see extensive full frontal and breasts, and some good shots of her buns. This is the clearest DVD transfer I have yet seen. Because of the image clarity, sharp focus, lack of noise and distortion and color saturation, I included several frames (images 22 - 42) at 1024 x 768, as well as the composite images. The DVD is only available on Region 2 PAL, to the best of my knowledge, and has a running time of 3 1/2 hours. Were they to extract the 50 minutes of nudity and make a special release, I would advise getting it. In this 3 1/2 hour form, it is a very dull watch. Yet, with the great exposure, photography and DVD transfer, I will give it a C+.

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  • Joely Richardson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42)

    Misc facts from the Mail Bag

    One reader wrote in to point out that, in my review of Rain Man, I spelled the airline name with too many Us. It is actually Qantas, originally Queensland And Northern Territories Air Service", or QANTAS. Another attentive reader remarked that Bridget Fonda had a large mole on her left breast in Aria, which seems to have been removed shortly after, as it doesn't show up in later films.

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Movies

    I thought that Ali had some of the best moments ever captured on film, and some of the best performances I've ever seen. But it is 157 minutes long, covers too many themes, and loses focus. It's more of an arty film than a blockbuster. I guess it can't be too bad, though, because I watched it twice and liked it even better the second time. I recommend it with the warning that it is a long, artistic movie, not a popcorn epic. I once met Ali, in a group situation too complicated to explain on this page. Read my review.

    Why did they issue such an important movie in a bare-bones DVD with no special features? I would love to see how Will prepped for this role, for example.

     

    I hope you are sitting down, because what I am about to say will surprise you so deeply you could call it shock. Maybe Baby is a British Comedy - and you'll never believe who's in it.

    Rowan Atkinson!

    Wow, the stuff they come up with!

    Tuna did Lady Chatterley (1992) today, in which that lovely blue-eyed Cameron Diaz lookalike, Joely Richardson, was about 27 and naked. Joely has kinda slowed down on the nudity in recent years, so it was great to see her here in Maybe Baby in 2000, and she's still gorgeous..

    • Joely Richardson. Note the facial resemblance to Diaz in the top of collage #4. (1, 2, 3, 4)

     

    In The News

     

    Director of Media & Strategic Marketing for Octagon (sports management) said that "not one of the nude photos splashed across the 10-page pictorial" inside the current issue of Penthouse is actually of Anna Kournikova, according to Darren Rovell of ESPN.com.

    Schwab: "The topless photographs in the article are so dissimilar to Miss Kournikova that the magazine acted either intentionally or with reckless disregard for the truth in order to exploit our client and make a profit. ... We will be communicating with the publisher immediately and will take all appropriate actions to protect our client's rights and image." Rovell adds it is "expected that Octagon will seek monetary damages as well as a full apology" from Penthouse -

    Penthouse says - "the magazine has investigated this carefully and is confident that this is indeed Miss Kournikova"

    full ESPN story

     

    Quote of the Day, from the author E. B. White, written in 1949.

    The subtlest change in New York is something people don't speak much about but that is in everyone's mind. The city, for the first time in its long history, is destructible. A single flight of planes no bigger than a wedge of geese can quickly end this island fantasy, burn the towers, crumble the bridges, turn the underground passages into lethal chambers, cremate the millions. The intimation of mortality is part of New York now: in the sound of jets overhead, in the black headlines of the latest edition.
    All dwellers in cities must live with the stubborn fact of annihilation; in New York the fact is somewhat more concentrated because of the concentration of the city itself, and because, of all targets, New York has a certain clear priority. In the mind of whatever perverted dreamer might loose the lightning, New York must hold a steady, irresistible charm.
       It used to be that the Statue of Liberty was the sign-post that proclaimed New York and translated it for all the world. Today Liberty shares the role with Death. Along the East River, from the razed slaughterhouses of Turtle Bay, as though in a race with the spectral flight of planes, men are carving out the permanent headquarters of the United Nations -- the greatest housing project of them all. In its stride, New York takes on one more interior city, to shelter, this time, all governments, and to clear the slum called war.
       This race -- this race between the destroying planes and the struggling Parliament of Man -- it sticks in all our heads. The city at last illustrates both the universal dilemma and the general solution, this riddle in steel and stone is at once the perfect target and the perfect demonstration of nonviolence, racial brotherhood, this lofty target scraping the skies and meeting the destroying planes halfway, home of all people and all nations, capital of everything, housing the deliberations by which the planes are to be stayed and their errands forestalled.
       A block or two west of the new City of Man in Turtle Bay there is an old willow tree that presides over an interior garden. It is a battered tree, long suffering and much climbed, held together by strands of wire but beloved of those who know it. In a way it symbolizes the city: life under difficulties, growth against odds, sap-rise in the midst of concrete, and the steady reaching for the sun. Whenever I look at it nowadays, and feel the cold shadow of the planes, I think: "This must be saved, this particular thing, this very tree." If it were to go, all would go -- this city, this mischevious and marvelous monument which not to look upon would be like death.
    -- E.B. White, Here Is New York [1949]

     

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Hankster
    Scoop,

    Gettin' back to "Crazy Love".....Daneen Boone is all wet again along with Bo Zena and 2 of the bad guys in a hot tub.

    • Daneen Boone and Bo Zena. Both topless, plus Zena full frontal in #2. (1, 2)

    • Daneen Boone topless, but a brief rear view in #4. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Helvete
    Barbara Crampton & Kathleen Kinmont
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    An excellent topless duo in scenes from the 80's classic, "Fraternity Vacation". In link #6 Kinmont also gives us extremely brief peeks of her bum and possibly some pubes.

    Jennifer McComb Topless in scenes from "Lost in Africa" (1994).

    Julia Maraval Very nice images from "À cause d'un garçon". Breast exposure plus a few subtle rear views.

    Ludivine Sagnier
    (1, 2, 3)

    Two words about this young French actress...both "hubba". Excellent breast, bum, and bush views from the movie "Gouttes d'eau sur pierres brûlantes" aka "Water Drops On Burning Rocks" (1999).

    Maruschka Detmers
    (1, 2, 3)

    A familiar name for the Euro-nudity fans. Here is the Dutch actress in scenes from "Le Diable au corps" aka "Devil in the Flesh (1987). Full frontal in #1, topless in #2 and giving a BJ in #3.

    Myriem Roussel Breast exposure from "Bleu comme l'enfer" (1986).

    Tonya Kinzinger Brief nipple sightings in scenes from "Dancing Machine".

    UC99
    Shannon Whirry
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The busty late night cable regular in scenes from "Private Obsession" (1995). Undies in #1, then releasing the hounds, as well as the goods below the equator in links 2, 3 and 4.

    Janina Sachau
    (1, 2)

    A little something for those who prefer cupcakes to melons. Here is the German actress goes topless in "Requiem für eine romantische Frau" aka "Requiem for a Romantic Woman".

    Julie Delpy
    (1, 2)

    Topless in "Killing Zoe".

    Renee Griffin Breasts, bum and pseudo sex in "Criminal Affairs".

    Romane Bohringer Great cleavage and bare breast views from the French actress in scenes from "L'Appartement" (1996).

    The Funnies by Number 6
    Warning!!!!

    (URP) - Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

    A new date rape drug on the market, called "beer," is used by females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form, and is now available almost anywhere. "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.

    Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several "beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

    After drinking "beer," men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." Apparently men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female.

    Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.