Dias de Boda (2002) is a Spanish dogma film, or at least claims to be. I have some trouble believing that they managed a dark blue night sex scene with ambient light, but anything is possible. The camera work, often hand held is certainly bad enough to be Dogma compliant. Now for the bad news -- the plot. Dias de Boda means Wedding Day, and is a wedding told in near real time. Comba Campoy, daughter of a publisher, is marrying his most famous author. Her mother is not pleased with the choice. Turns out there is ample reason, as the has to be one of the most dysfunctional families in cinema history. Seams the groom is bisexual, and has had a long time affair with her father, among many others. The mother is a piece of work in her own right, and doesn't like anyone or anything. The most normal person in the story is her aunt, a lesbian psychic who is more a mother to her than her own mother.

A rather un-priestly priest, a movie producer and his star and mistress, Pilar Saavedra, and the groom's grandparents, who ran away from their managed care facility and hitch-hiked to attend the wedding round out the major characters. It seems the groom is constantly kissing someone passionately, more often male than female, and, surprise surprise, the bride ends up jealous. Oh, and I almost forgot the wedding band, which consisted of two bagpipes, two drums, and someone who played sea shells.

Both Saavedra and Campoy show breasts in sex scenes. IMDb calls it a drama, and has it rated at 6.2 of 10. I suppose it might have some appeal to the gay/lesbian community, but it held no interest for me whatsoever. I find it telling that 4 of the 12 voters gave it a one. That is my take as well. The idea of a Dogma film is that you take away the glitz and concentrate on telling a story. I guess nobody told these folks that the story should be worth telling. This is a D-.

Just One of the Guys (1985)

The mid 80s were the Golden Age of school-oriented comedies and light "triumph of the underdog" dramas. The 1983-87 era produced Revenge of the Nerds, Risky Business, Better off Dead, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, One Crazy Summer, The Karate Kid, and Back to School, as well as a slew of minor films like Just One of the Guys and Nerds in Paradise. These films made stars of John Cusack, Tom Cruise and Matthew Broderick.

The youthploitation films of that era have many common elements:

• The nerds, outsiders, and outcasts must eventually triumph over the rigid caste system.

• William Zabka is often the one-dimensional evil jock who must eventually get his comeuppance.

• Curtis Armstrong is often our hero's nerdy best friend.

Just One of the Guys has all the usual suspects except Curtis Armstrong, who didn't really fit in because our hero is a girl.

A high school senior girl feels that she has been denied a chance to win a journalism contest simply because she is a girl. Therefore, following the official logic of movie students, she transfers to another school, changes her hair and clothing, and re-submits her article as a guy. She finds that being a guy isn't as cool as it seems, especially when she is pursued by a horny girl, and falls in love with a guy who thinks she's another guy.

It isn't any better than it sounds, but it isn't any worse either. Although it fails to rise to the level of the best films listed above, it is a cute enough film which mines some easy laughs with weird minor characters and predictable situations.  I didn't really get absorbed in it, and it never raises itself to a level of either great truth-seeking or great comedy, but I didn't feel an urge to grab the remote while I watched, mostly because Joyce Hyser is quite believable and sympathetic as Teri/Terry.

• Joyce Hyser (1, 2)

Scoop's note: Hyser just about disappeared from the business around 1990. After Wedding Band, she had few roles of any size and never had another lead - until now. Last year she did a straight-to-vid flick called Art of Revenge which will be re-issued on DVD in about a week, and is apparently awful. (Ziggy's Review)

OTHER CRAP:

• One of the truly disgusting sites on the net- Ogrish.com : Can you handle life?
• Blender Mag looks at Courtney Love. (Includes a new-to-me topless picture).
• British audience shocked ... SHOCKED ... to determine that Britney lip-synchs in concert!
• Cate Blanchett gives birth to a son, reportedly with an epic, swelling musical score in the background.
• The trailer for the Cole Porter biopic, De-Lovely
• Puffy opens on Broadway in 'Raisin in the Sun'
• One woman tries to catch a banana in her mouth - when it is shot out of another girl's bum
• The trailer for an offbeat thriller, The Burial Society
• Here's the trailer from Frankie and Johnny Are Married: " A romantic comedy about Michael Pressman, a successful television director/producer and Lisa Chess, a talented struggling actress, who are married and decide to mount a production of 'Frankie and Johnnie in the Clair de Lune' in equity-waiver in Los Angeles with the hopes of bringing some life and joy back into their marriage. They bring in Alan Rosenberg to play Johnny and Lisa plays Frankie and Michael directs. What starts off as a simple idea to revitalize the marriage turns into an utter nightmare. Alan becomes insanely difficult and the marriage becomes even more strained as the rehearsal process becomes tense and explosive. It reaches a point where after a devastatingly disastrous preview, Michael shuts the play down and loses his whole investment, and possibly his marriage. His only choice is to take over the role of Johnny himself and fire Alan Rosenberg. Now the stakes are truly high as to whether or not this couple can pull it off. "
• A full ten minute clip plus six short clips from the De Niro cloning thriller, Godsend
• Seven new clips from Tina Fey's Mean Girls
• Clear out your calendar. Have your secretary hold your appointments. It's time to watch, "The Making of Garfield"
• Nine new clips from Van Helsing. The marketing of this high budget film is starting to seem a bit desperate.
• Apaprently unaware it is a work of fiction, defenders of Christianity Rebut 'The Da Vinci Code'. Next they plan to rebut The Chronicles of Narnia.
• Paria Hilton is The New Guess Girl.
• An oldie but goodie: Posh Spice flashes the goodies in public
• PRINCE HARRY has landed a date with teen rocker AVRIL LAVIGNE
• The trailer for Open Water : "Based on true events, 'Open Water' follows an American couple, Daniel and Susan, (Travis and Ryan) on an island holiday. Upon arrival at their hotel, we learn that Daniel and Susan's relationship is under strain from their workaholic lifestyles, and they need a vacation even more than they realized. The next morning, the loving and rested couple, certified scuba divers, board a local dive boat for an underwater tour of the reef. The boat is crowded with other vacationers, and due to a series of innocent miscommunications and a distracted crew, the couple is, after only 40 minutes or so underwater, accidentally left behind. What follows is the story of their ordeal: cold, alone and miles from land, the couple is adrift in shark-infested waters."
• Preternaturally perky starlet Jessica Simpson is pals with Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, one of the least perky government officials ever, reports Us Weekly."
• This is awesome. The Star Wars Kid will Kill Bill
• Jordan breaks up al Qaeda offense, Pippen and Rodman clog their passing lanes.
• Eric Idle has compared his crucifixion in Monty Python's The Life of Brian with the latest one in The Passion of the Christ and has found his own infinitely superior. Writing in Sunday's Los Angeles Times, Idle commented that although he hasn't seen the Mel Gibson film, 'I gather that Mel doesn't handle the comedy too well, and he seems to totally ignore the singing opportunities of the crucifixion altogether."
• Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups
• VICTORIA Beckham was publicly humiliated last night when an advert featuring husband David's sex adventures appeared on the big TV screens - while Posh watched the game
• Save up your pennies - Charisma Carpenter will be featured in the June Playboy
• Clinton's Memoirs to Be Released in June: "If Bill Clinton turns out a first-rate memoir, especially about his presidential years, he will be a true path breaker. The only highly regarded presidential memoir is by Ulysses Grant, who devoted the vast majority of the book to his triumphant Civil War military leadership and wrote virtually nothing about his often disastrous presidency. Most presidential works have the dull, self-serving tone of a prepared speech. They suffer from the impersonal hand of a ghost writer or from the impersonal tastes of the president. The memoirs of Herbert Hoover, for example, include balance sheets on food assistance to Armenia and Lithuania and estimated totals of dried fruit exports. "
• What's With Our 15 Intel Agencies? - The CIA, we know. But what are the other 14?
• Virtual Uffizi: the complete catalogue of the Uffizi Gallery in Florence.
• Alfred Hitchcock - The Master of Suspense "IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THE SUSPENSE MEISTER THIS LOVINGLY ASSEMBLED SPOT SHOULD BE YOUR FIRST STOP ON THE WEB."
• Iraq is not Gigli, says Rumsfeld: "For one thing, Gigli was out of theaters after two weeks, and the war in Iraq will be with us for years and years and years and years, Mr. Rumsfeld said."
• Iraq gets new flag, drops 'God is Great', adds Halliburton phone support #.
• Here's the new $50 bill
• Report: Conte Gave Steroids To Bonds, 26 Others: "The list of athletes includes five-time Olympic medalist Marion Jones, track star Tim Montgomery, and baseball players Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield."
• Elvis Movie Title or Cocktail?
• The Late Show with David Letterman : Klassic Komedy Klips
• Mel Gibson to be the next pope?
• ANNIESPRINKLE.ORG - the wisdom of the porn star turned Ph. D.
• Heather Locklear is set to play Hilary Duff's mother in the romantic comedy 'The Perfect Man'
• The crazy phenomenon of Stiltsville. Everyone who loves Miami remembers some houses that sit out in the water, in the middle of Biscayne Bay, off Miami's shoreline, just south of Key Biscayne. There were two dozen or more structures at one time, and their reputation includes some unsavory stories of gambling and bootlegging, but hurricanes have reduced the number to seven.
• More great 80's Commercials from X-E
• Russkies may sue Mel Gibson. Apparently, the entire country wants a refund for What Women Want.
• Actor Kenan Thompson as Fat Albert, or as he is now known, Metabolically-impaired Albert. You think this movie might just ... um ... suck?
• The text of John F. Kerry's testimony before the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations on April 22, 1971. Oh, darn, I just don't know what I did with those medals.
• Director Sam Mendes (AMERICAN BEAUTY) has decided on his next project. Mendes will direct an adaptation of the Anthony Swafford war memoir JARHEAD. The book chronicles one Marine's experiences during the Gulf War.
• Four clips from Tina Fey's comedy, Mean Girls
• "Friends" bid Sayonara on May 6
• It's official: NASA will not do movie reviews. In a related story, Roger Ebert has abandoned his Mars mission.
• Now this is a strange concept. Hitler eating watermelon.
• The Mouseketeer wanders through London with dirty hair, no make-up
• Four free videos from Playboy's Twins & Sisters!
• Playmate Gallery of Heather Kozar, Playmate of the Year in 1999. Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• What the hell is going on with the Yankees? Yankees get four hits, are swept by Bosox. Jeter drops to .175, Bernie .167. Jeter is 1-for-30 in his past seven games.
• Prague's National Theatre Premieres Opera About 1998 Czech Olympic Hockey Triumph The opera ain't over until the fat lady cross-checks ... er ... cross-Czechs.
• MY BROTHER, KEVIN SPACEY,IS A LYING WEIRDO.
• Salman Rushdie marries Padma Lakshmi, the hottest Indian chick ever.
• Jacko Replaces His Lawyers
• Walken: a man of a thousand faces -- all his own

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Trasgredire (2000)

Part 3

This is a Tinto Brass film. The expression "tinto brass" is Italian for "pretty pictures of bums and gyno close-ups". Shiloh sent in 19 clips. Here are numbers 14-19

• Yuliya Mayarchuk in Tragredire (.avi, .wmv)

• Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

• Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

• Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

• Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

• Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

"Leaving Metropolis" (2002)
Gay film but with a healthy dose of heterosexual action by Cherilee Taylor from Paradise Falls.

• Cherilee Taylor: boobs and butt. (1, 2, 3, 4)

"Mask of Death" (1996)
Another movie starring Funhouse favorite Lorenzo Lamas. No nudity but Heather Hanson spends most her role in her underwear.

• Heather Hanson: bra and panties.
• Kiara Hunter: cleavage.
• Rae Dawn Chong: pokies.

"Hendrix" (2000)
This biography has been capped before but the anonymous groupies have now been identified. Future Envy TV hostess Hayley Verlyn is the smart one who kept her clothes on. She's the blonde behind Jimi Hendrix.

• Monique Ganderton: full frontal.
• Brigitte Bourdeau: boob by Loft Story star.
• Wendy Mahoney: boobs and buns in lesbian scene with Monique Ganderton.

"Chicago" (2002)
Oscar winning pg-rated musical. The only nudity is provided by Monique Ganderton (the brunette) and April Morgan (the blonde) credited as "bare woman 1 and 2".

• Monique Ganderton: bare butt while April Morgan shows part of a boob.

"Posers" (2002)
Videonasty about a group of four female clubbers who think that beating another female clubber to death is funny.

• Stefanie von Pfetten: pokies, underwear, kissing Jessica Pare.
• Sarain Boylan: bare cleavage.
• Jessica Pare: tight t-shirt.
• Emily Hampshire: leg, upskirt.
• Group shot: all four in bed doing what comes naturally, cackling like hens.

"Freddy vs. Jason" (2003)
Some new caps not covered before.

• Katharine Isabelle: more exposure by the Ginger Snaps I, II and IV actress and her body double.
• Laura Boddington: boob as female camp counselor.

...cleaning up my hard drive:

• Desiree Zurowski: bare back as nude model in All I Want.
• Laura Catalano: tight t-shirt in Foolproof
• Tara Slone: slight cleavage in Foolproof.
• Melinda Dillon: pokies and cleavage in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
• Carrie Snodegress: boobs and butt by the late star in Diary of a Mad Housewife.
• Frankie Thorn: all around redhead nudity in Warm Texas Rain. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

"Bloodmoon"
This 1989 Australian horror flick provides an interesting look at late-80's Australia, and a few decent nude scenes, but that's about all.

Story is of a serial killer running amuck at a private boarding school, strangling students with a piece of barbed wire. Unfortunately, poor acting, a lame script, and complete lack of mystery (you have the identity of the killer figured out in the first 10 minutes) keep this from being a very good movie, but they do have the prerequisite shower scene. For nudity watchers only.

• The Women of "Bloodmoon"

"Black Knight"
Black is another PG rated movie with no nudity, although Marsha Thomason and Jeannette Weegar come close.

• Marsha Thomason
• Jeannette Weegar

"We Married Margo"
No nudity in We Married Margo with some lovely pokies by, in what look like, a silicon-enhanced Jillian Johns. There are also some other lovely ladies.

• Jillian Johns (1, 2)
• Unknown

"Posers"
The Posers, which are a group of bitches, are Sarain Boylan, Emily Hampshire, Jessica Paré and Stefanie von Pfetten. No nudity, just pokies and underwear by the ladies.

• Sarain Boylan
• Emily Hampshire
• Jessica Paré
• Stefanie von Pfetten (1, 2, 3)

"People I Know"
The brief nudity in People I Know comes from an unnamed actress. From Téa Leoni we have pokies and a brief upskirt.

• Téa Leoni (1, 2)
• Unknown

"Mobsters"
Some lovely breasts shown by Lynette Waldon, Lara Flynn Boyle and some unnamed actresses in Mobsters.

• Lynette Waldon (1, 2)
• Lara Flynn Boyle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Unknown (1, 2)

"Loco Love"
Lots of cleavage in Loco Love (aka Mi Casa, Su Casa) by Laura Elena Harring and Margaret Scarborough.

• Laura Elena Harring (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Margaret Scarborough (1, 2)

"Tripfall"
The nudity in Tripfall comes from that well-known unidentifed stripper, but Katy Boyer fills out a thong bikini very nicely!

• Katy Boyer (1, 2, 3)
• Unknown (1, 2)

DA VINCI INVENTED THE CAR
They Forgot The Wings - Among his other achievements, Leonardo da Vinci might have invented the car. The Institute and Museum of the History of Science in Florence, Italy, created a model of a spring-propelled car sketched by da Vinci in 1478, and to their surprise, it works. It was the first self-propelled vehicle, and was designed to be a robot: it could travel about 40 meters using programmable steering and a brake released at a distance via a hidden rope. A museum spokesman said it anticipates the car by over 400 years, and is even similar to the Mars Rover.