The Crazies (1979) is an excellent Action / Horror / Thriller / Drama / Sci-Fi from George Romero (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead ). A military transport crashes, and a biological weapon is released in a lake that feed the water supply to a small town. At the first sign of infection, the army is brought in to contain the area and keep the incident quiet. The virus does one of two things. It either kills the victim, or renders them mad. The story centers on an Ex Green Beret, and his wife (Lane Carroll), who is pregnant and nurse to the town doctor. The doctor gives her some antibiotics for her husband, and suggests that the two of them go hide. They pick up his best friend and another couple along the way.

As the disease spreads, the army is considering a tactical nuke to stop the infection, and it gets harder to tell who is crazy from infection, and who is cracking under the stress. The towns people don't take to martial law well, and start fighting back. Meanwhile there is a back story, as the Army fights to find a cure. Carroll shows breasts in bed with her husband near the start of the film, partial buns getting dressed, and pretty cute bra and panty shots.

IMDB readers have this at 5.7 of 10. I thought they accomplished a lot with an interesting story and a very small budget. Romero's quick cut editing style is very much in evidence here, and is effective. The lack of Hollywood shots (all boom, dolly and special effects) gave this film an immediacy that helped build the atmosphere. This is a solid C, but is more a thriller/SciFi than horror.

Movies:

Another Day in Paradise (1998)

This Larry Clark movie managed to do nothing with a cast that included James Woods, Melanie Griffith and Wagner. It's really a same old same old, and I can't give you one good reason to see the movie itself unless you like classic R&B, in which case the music is outstanding. I'm an Otis Redding fan, and he's the backbone of the score. Clarence Carter actually appears in the movie.

The DVD is a great rent, however, because of the additional materials. One scene got cut to avoid a NC-17 rating. Wagner goes for the man-slurpee, there is graphic male nudity, and lots of really dirty talk, and a very hot sex scene which includes every ingredient except Wagner nudity. That scene has been restored on the DVD, and there is also a second audio track with director's commentary, which is fascinating. Larry Clark, the director, is no NASA candidate, but he is very candid and outspoken in his down-home no-bullshit Oklahoma way, so his unguarded comments offer real insight into the moviemaking process. While I can't recommend the amateurish and vastly overrated movie, which isn't a hell of a lot better than "I Spit on Your Grave", I recommend the DVD heartily. Listen to the songs, watch a few scenes of James Woods going ballistic, listen to the director's commentary, and satisfy your curiosity about the deleted scene. By the way, the DVD got printed wrong. The director's cut and commentary are on the opposite side from where they should be.

When it came out, I scored it C-, Tuna was slightly more enthusiastic at C. He said, "The film is mostly dark and grainy, and is very slow moving for a crime/action flick. This is a passable genre film, and not much more."

As Tuna noted, the images were dark, blurry, grainy, and generally difficult to work with.

• Natasha Gregson Wagner (1, 2)

The Ages of Lulu (1990)

Based entirely on what can be seen on this Spanish DVD, this film is not worth your time. It is basically the quality of a good home movie. Think of "Clerks" without the humor. The film's only real value is as a piece of erotica. The plot and characterization are essentially unimportant and lacking in credibility. Indeed, it might actually be a good piece of erotica if we could see what's happening, because there's some hot goings-on and Francesca Neri is gorgeous. Maybe there is a good print of this somewhere, but this particular transfer is filled with blur, color fading and visible interlacing.

Not many people will enjoy this somewhat depraved look at Lulu's eventual fall into bizarre play-for-pay practices, especially if you don't have any inclination to see naked men dancing around and waving their willies. Even those few who would enjoy it will not be able to enjoy it on this poorly transferred DVD. I rated it a D, but I suppose I would have said "C- as an erotic flick" if I could have seen what was going on instead of some dark, blurry images.

Tuna rated it a C-, saying, "The film is highly thought of in many circles. Had the transfer been better, I might have felt the same way, but didn't find it especially stimulating"

• Francesca Neri (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

More from the French Box collection:

• Georgina Grenville stark naked (full frontal nudity)
• Isabelle Adjani in see-through tops (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Julianne Moore - unrevealing sorta nude
• sexy pic of Ashley Judd, although everything is covered
• offbeat model Audrey Marnay in a see-through top (1, 2)

Tinto Brass:

• I received these in .zip files from a new contributor. The ones labeled TintoSenso are from Brass's new movie, Senso '45. The ones labeled TintoVoy are from Tinto Brass's previous movie, Trasgredire. I've never seen either of these movies, and I don't recognize these scenes from any other caps, so I'm no help with the ID's. Those of you with more info about the women pictured, please chime in.
  • Senso '45 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Trasgredire (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Other crap:

• according to some industry sources, the Van Helsing movie with Hugh Jackman will have a production budget of $267 million dollars. That's a lot of moolah. It will feature Van Helsing (Jackman) against Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, and the Wolfdude. Official site.
• lesbian road trip movie from Argentina wins Best Picture at Istanbul Film Festival
• although she once appeared nearly anorexic, Christina has now resumed normal eating
• Angelina Jolie has been wondering about the one thing would make her life complete. She decided on a Cambodian tattoo, because "having a child by Satan" was not currently available.
• how much space would be occupied by a quadrillion pennies, and other critical bits of info
• Paris newspaper reports a U.S.-led invasion to topple President Jacques Chirac. Most Frenchmen realized it was a spoof, but surrendered anyway, just to be on the safe side.
• Japanese scientists hope to power the world with Panda poop. Richard Dreyfus might note that not only are we gonna need a bigger boat, but also a lot more pandas.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Okay, it took 3 days but we finally wrap up the classic rape scene with Susan George topless in 1971's "Straw Dogs". I just loved this movie.

• Susan George (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Au service du diable (1971)
Castle of Death (1971) (video title)
The Devil Walks at Midnight (1971)
The Devil's Longest Night (1971)
Nightmare of Terror (1971) (video title)
La Notte piu lunga del diavolo (1971) (Italy)
La Nuit des pétrifiés (1971)
Succubus (1971)
La Terrificante notte del demonio (1971)
Vampire Playgirls (1980) (USA: reissue title)

Juding by IMDb comments this seems to be typical of the genre, complete with creepy old castle and lesbians.

• Erika Blanc showing a hint of nipple.
• 3 Unknowns with plenty of lovely breast exposure and the apreviously mentioned lesbo lovin in link #2. (1, 2, 3)

Julianne Moore
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

Lori Singer
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

The nudity...
Anne Archer...bare bum.
Julianne Moore, lower frontal nudity and rear views.
Lori Singer, full frontal and rear nudity.

McCARTNEY, OZZY TOP RICH MUSICIANS LIST
Ozzy, You're A Rich Man - According to the London Sunday Times' annual "Rich List," Paul McCartney is still the richest musician in the UK with $1.2 billion, although Ozzy Osbourne joined the list at #24, after making $63 million off the "Osbournes" TV show.