Wolfhound (2002) is a straight to vid softcore, but I suspect that was not the original intention. Allen Scotti returns with his wife and two children from New York to his ancestral home in Ireland to write a book, and also to learn about the childhood and parents that he has no recollection of. We slowly learn along with him that it is a village of shape shifters, many of whom spend time as Irish Wolfhounds, although there is the odd crow/town clerk/crow. Not only that, but when the local women are not in dog form, they are more or less bitches in heat, and one in particular, played by 1995 Heffer of the year Julie Cialini, seems to have a history with our hero. He soon runs afoul of the alpha male, and his wife isn't sure what is going on, but knows enough to know that she doesn't like it. It all leads to a confrontation between Scotti and the Alpha male, and between Scotti and his wife, who is going back to the big apple with or without him.

Along the way, Scotti has hot sex several times with Cialini who gives a three B performance. The film was shot on location in Ireland, features lots on animal actors, and even has some special effects. I suspect it was intended as a horror/thriller, but they soon realized that they had too much nudity and sex for the genre, but not enough for a soft core, so they brought in Regina Russel and Julie K. Smith to do a three way and up the breast count.

IMDb readers have this at 3.0, and the comments are brutal. Some were furious that it was not even a werewolf film. They must read as badly as they write, it is called Wolfhound, not Werewolf. Others complained about the acting. I will concede that the acting was not up to B horror/thriller standards, but was within the norm for soft core. The one intelligent criticism was on the photography. They had no end of trouble pulling focus, especially on two-shots, and badly botched attempts at backlighting, and ambient light through doors and windows, resulting in a very high percentage of shots with blown highlights. They also way overdid the often pesky smoke machine in one scene. Correct the lighting and photography mistakes, and work on an accent for Cialini, who has the brogue of a midwest cheerleader, and this would be an exceptional soft core film. As it si, it barely meets genre expectations, and is a low C-. Of course, as a horror thriller, it is in E territory.

Updates:

• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated

Other Crap:

• Zebra Gives Birth to Foal Sired by Donkey: "It's male. But what is it? A zonkey? A deebra? That's the debate in Barbados since a zebra gave birth to a foal sired by a donkey." The Zebra's previous foal was sired by Colin Farrell, and zookeepers call it either a Mebra or a Zick.
• The Daily Show looks at the latest developments in Iraq
• The Daily Show's International Round-Up: The Indian Prime Minister and the Pakistani President go on a 'man-date.'
• Weekly World News: "DEADLY NEW CREATURES LIVE IN SMOG!" Health officials claim Smoglodytes have killed over 36,000 in Mexico City -- and warn: The death toll is expected to be even higher in L.A. and other large cities" (As opposed to tiny cities like Mexico City?)
• Astronomy pic 'o the day- The Moons of Earth
• Coldplay is the first British band since the Beatles to have a new entry in the US Top 10.
• Japoanese site specializes in photos of abandoned buildings
• Some excellent photos of a dust storm in Iraq
• The trailer for My Treasure
  • Ruthie and Or, a mother and her daughter, live in a small Tel Aviv flat. Ruthie has been a prostitute for the last twenty years. Or has tried many times to get her mother to quit working the street, but without success. The daily routine of the 18 year-old Or is an endless succession of petty jobs: washing dishes in a restaurant, cleaning staircases and collecting deposit bottles while attending high school whenever she can. Ruthie's health is worsening. After an umpteenth visit to her mother at the hospital, Or decides that this time, things must change for good.
• Here is the trailer for Now & Forever
  • The official release says: "John Myron (Adam Beach) and Angela Wilson (Mia Kirshner) discover each other amidst a backdrop of clashing cultures to form a powerful bond. One tragic night, John rescues Angela from a wicked act of betrayal. Faced with its aftermath, Angela flees town, unaware that she has put into motion a dramatic and intense string of events that will forever change the course of their lives. Harboring a secret, John guides Angela to a shocking realization that will uncover the past as a dramatic love story unfolds. They say sooner or later all love stories will end; Now & Forever is the exception."
• The trailer and two TV spots for Renny Harlin's Mindhunters
  • I saw this film and reviewed it in 2003 - not sure if Harlin has re-cut since then. It's a popcorn flick, but I kinda liked it, especially the first few minutes. Here are my thoughts about the film, or at least about the version that existed back then.
  • Here are the two new TV spots for Mindhunters.
• The trailer for The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D Robert Rodriguez's film about a 10-year-old outcast shunned by classmates and forced to spend summer vacation alone. With his two imaginary friends - the title characters - he goes on a mission to prove that dreams can become reality.
• You really love your Mac? How about some erotic Apple wallpaper?
• The U.S. Astronaut Hall of Fame. Includes info about all the famous ones except Buzz Aldrin, who was banned for betting on launches.
• The case of Texas Guitar Man Vs. "Fat Actress" : "A veteran Texas bluesman claims that one of his songs--an appreciation of bountiful babes titled 'Big Leg, Heavy Bottom'--was improperly included in last month's debut of 'Fat Actress,' "
• Goldfinger's Bodypainting . I'm not sure why, but I find this very sexy and hot.
• Alex Jones (he's sorta famous) exposes Schwarzenegger's embarrassing deep secrets, and so forth and so on. "AMERICA IS IN DANGER!" (It's a rant, not a humor piece.)
• Live web cams from all over the world. (No, not the kind with hot girl-on-girl action)
• Ausie paper reports: "HUGH JACKMAN is playing Clark Kent's Dad in SUPERMAN."
• Vanity Stamps Go Postal Again
• Most Americans Believe Charges Against Michael Jackson Probably True
• eBay item - Albert Einstein Image On My Toast - Huh?
• Meet the Fockers kicks butt in its first week on the rental market. (Not surprising, considering its big B.O.)
• Craft Corner Deathmatch: "Every Thursday night at 9 on the Style Network. It's Martha Stewart Living meets Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. The New York Post calls it 'utterly demented--and addictive as crack.'"
• Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes pic ... It's kinda cute. Katie bends over to kiss the little fella on the forehead.
• Picking a lock with your hard drive???
• Attention Star Wars geeks: eBay item - Huge Life Size X Wing : "The life-sized X-wing in this auction is one of only 8 left in the entire world. To our knowledge, it is one of only two that have ever been released into public hands."
• Italian coffinmaker has a sexy girly calendar. So you can cum and go at the same time.
• Borowitz: MILLIONS FLEE KATIE COURIC
  • Incidents of widespread panic were reported across the country today as millions of terrified Americans fled Katie Couric, the host of the NBC's Today Show. The frenzied exodus marked the latest turn in the storied career of the morning host, once considered America's sweetheart but now widely seen as a ruthless diva capable of crushing all in her path at the slightest whim.
• Politically correct police strike again.First Cookie Monster starts eating passion fruit, now they've even taken the trans fat out of Oreos. I sure hope Kraft has made sure that the taste has not changed, because if it has, just call this crap Newer Coke.
• Here is a rarity - the Paul Shrader draft of Suspect Zero. ... If you want to read something about the evolution of this script, here's my take on the movie.
• The complete list of People's 50 Most Beautiful People, 2005 style. People readers chose Pitt and Jolie as most beautiful man and woman. Alba couldn't topple Jolie from the top spot, but she did make the list, if you're wondering. (How could she not?)
• Sources are reporting that wrestler Chris Candido is dead at 33. He had ankle surgery Monday, but managed his team in a championship match just twenty four hours later. No further info is available, and the police in his home town did not confirm the death report.
• Farmer convicted of feeding his employee to lions.
  • I was in Zimbabwe in the mid 90s, doing a project for Mobil, back when there was far less tension in that country. I was planning a weekend with a travel agent who asked me, "Golf or Victoria Falls?" I said, "I thought I could do both. Isn't there a course right there?" "Yes," she said, "but it is closed because of the drought." "I never thought of that," I replied lamely, "I guess they can't keep it playable without water." "That's not the problem," she explained, "because they can still keep it lush with water from the river if they need to. The problem is that when there is a drought, the lions expand their feeding territory, and their expanded area includes the golf course."
• Wanna buy Pope Benny Hex's old car? Just pony up a million simoleons ... for a 1999 Volkswagen Golf! Yes, sit ex cathedra behind the wheel and experience the responsive power steering and "infallible" anti-lock brakes.
• A bad sign in this review of The Hitchhiker's Guide: "the packed theatre in which I was sitting was eerily quiet."

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Or....review the results of our previous polls:
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes

Today the Ghost takes a look at another Fred Olen Ray softcore flick, "Teenage Cavegirl". Plenty of porn-babes showing a variety of skin while having some pseudo, and possibly real sex. Zipped .wmvs as usual.

• Lezley Zen, robo-hooters and pseudo-sex. (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Kennedy Johnston gettin' it on. (1, 2, 3)

• Jezebelle Bond, gettin' it on with some steriod-filled dude. (1, 2, 3)

• Kennedy Johnston and Jezebelle Bond. In 1 and 2 we have some group sex. Full frontal in #3. Lesbian bathing in 4-6. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

• Kennedy Johnston and Nicole Sheridan in a 3-way scene. (1, 2, 3)

PRESIDENT PREEMPTED FOR PARIS HILTON
Good Luck Surviving! - Last night, President Bush held a rare prime time press conference to discuss Social Security reform, Iraq, oil prices and other pressing issues. But it was on the first night of May Sweeps. After an hour, he joked, "We better finish this up, there are TV programs to show. And I want to help the economy." But it was heard only on ABC and PBS because CBS had already cut away in mid-sentence to "Survivor," NBC to Donald Trump, and Fox to Paris Hilton's "The Simple Life."

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