Saturday

Tuna
"Wolfhound"

Wolfhound (2002) is a straight to vid softcore, but I suspect that was not the original intention. Allen Scotti returns with his wife and two children from New York to his ancestral home in Ireland to write a book, and also to learn about the childhood and parents that he has no recollection of. We slowly learn along with him that it is a village of shape shifters, many of whom spend time as Irish Wolfhounds, although there is the odd crow/town clerk/crow. Not only that, but when the local women are not in dog form, they are more or less bitches in heat, and one in particular, played by 1995 Heffer of the year Julie Cialini, seems to have a history with our hero. He soon runs afoul of the alpha male, and his wife isn't sure what is going on, but knows enough to know that she doesn't like it. It all leads to a confrontation between Scotti and the Alpha male, and between Scotti and his wife, who is going back to the big apple with or without him.

Along the way, Scotti has hot sex several times with Cialini who gives a three B performance. The film was shot on location in Ireland, features lots on animal actors, and even has some special effects. I suspect it was intended as a horror/thriller, but they soon realized that they had too much nudity and sex for the genre, but not enough for a soft core, so they brought in Regina Russel and Julie K. Smith to do a three way and up the breast count.

IMDb readers have this at 3.0, and the comments are brutal. Some were furious that it was not even a werewolf film. They must read as badly as they write, it is called Wolfhound, not Werewolf. Others complained about the acting. I will concede that the acting was not up to B horror/thriller standards, but was within the norm for soft core. The one intelligent criticism was on the photography. They had no end of trouble pulling focus, especially on two-shots, and badly botched attempts at backlighting, and ambient light through doors and windows, resulting in a very high percentage of shots with blown highlights. They also way overdid the often pesky smoke machine in one scene. Correct the lighting and photography mistakes, and work on an accent for Cialini, who has the brogue of a midwest cheerleader, and this would be an exceptional soft core film. As it si, it barely meets genre expectations, and is a low C-. Of course, as a horror thriller, it is in E territory.

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  • Julie Cialini (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39)
  • Juliw K. Smith and Regina Russell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Updates:

    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated

     

    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    Here are the official results in our "Best Lesbian Love Scene" poll.

    In the meantime...Email Scoopy Jr. new poll suggestions!


    Or....review the results of our previous polls:
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
    The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes


    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Today the Ghost takes a look at another Fred Olen Ray softcore flick, "Teenage Cavegirl". Plenty of porn-babes showing a variety of skin while having some pseudo, and possibly real sex. Zipped .wmvs as usual.

    • Lezley Zen, robo-hooters and pseudo-sex. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Kennedy Johnston gettin' it on. (1, 2, 3)

    • Jezebelle Bond, gettin' it on with some steriod-filled dude. (1, 2, 3)

    • Kennedy Johnston and Jezebelle Bond. In 1 and 2 we have some group sex. Full frontal in #3. Lesbian bathing in 4-6. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Kennedy Johnston and Nicole Sheridan in a 3-way scene. (1, 2, 3)

    Variety
    Naomi Watts
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    No nudity here, but in these Johnny Moronic 'caps, Watts looks extremely fit while wearing a variety of revealing outfits.

    Thumbnails
    (1, 2)
    Kira Miró
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
    and
    Penelope Velasco


    Both ladies are topless in these Flautista 'caps from the Spanish movie "Crimen ferpecto" (2004).


    Amanda Bynes
    (1, 2, 3)

    The young star wearing a bikini top (again) on a recent episode of her show on the WB, "What I Like About You".

    Maria Romano
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    The Skin-man takes a look at the 1983 softcore flick, "Emmanuelle in Prison" aka "Women's Prison Massacre". Romano bares some very nice breasts plus she also goes full frontal.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    PRESIDENT PREEMPTED FOR PARIS HILTON
    Good Luck Surviving! - Last night, President Bush held a rare prime time press conference to discuss Social Security reform, Iraq, oil prices and other pressing issues. But it was on the first night of May Sweeps. After an hour, he joked, "We better finish this up, there are TV programs to show. And I want to help the economy." But it was heard only on ABC and PBS because CBS had already cut away in mid-sentence to "Survivor," NBC to Donald Trump, and Fox to Paris Hilton's "The Simple Life."

  • Fox viewers didn't even notice the difference.
  • If only Bush were hot.
  • Bush should've let Barbara and Jenna give the press conference.
  • Donald Trump and Paris Hilton: two people who will never need Social Security.
  • ABC would've cut away, but they've got nothin'.


    WOMAN SENTENCED FOR RAPE
    Did She Use Her Teeth?! - Norway prides itself on sexual equality, and now they can brag that they've convicted their first woman of rape. A 31-year-old man claimed he fell asleep on a sofa at a party and awoke to find a 23-year-old woman giving him oral sex. Under Norwegian law, all sex acts with someone who is unconscious or unable to oppose it are considered rape. The woman claimed he was awake and consented, but a court found her guilty of rape and sentenced her to nine months in jail and to pay the man $6,335 (US) in compensation.

  • Wow, she must've done it VERY BADLY!
  • So this guy got a 23-year-old woman to pay him $6,335 to give him oral sex? I have a new hero!


    RONALD McDONALD GETS A POOCHIE MAKEOVER
    M.C. Donald - Get ready for the new, more in-your-face Ronald McDonald! McDonald's head of marketing said Ronald is getting some attitude, so he doesn't appeal only to kids. His humor will become more "Shrek"-like, with pop culture references and double-entendres that adults get. He'll start popping up at sporting events, and he's trading the clown outfit and big shoes for seven new costumes, including a tux, a beach outfit and a basketball jersey. The spokesman said, "We're letting Ronald escape from the playpen."

  • He'll cut a gangsta rap album and move from the playpen to the crib.
  • Whoever came up with this idea must've escaped from a playpen.
  • Do we really want to hear fart jokes in a restaurant commercial?
  • Look for this to be satirized in the truly hip Jack-In-The-Box commercials.


    MARLON BRANDO ESTATE SALE
    He READ Those Scripts?! - About 250 items belonging to Marlon Brando will be auctioned June 30th by Christie's New York. It includes movie scripts with his personal annotations, letters and gifts from famous friends, his Oscar nomination certificate for "On The Waterfront," and lots of stranger items, from his foosball table to the black velvet tunic he wore in "Superman."

  • It makes a very stylish beach cabana!
  • Good luck getting all the powdered sugar off it.
  • For some reason, all the foosball men have teeth marks on them.
  • The other 240 items are empty pizza boxes.

  • A quick site note
    Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.

    If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!