Not Quite Paradise (1986) is a UK produced romantic comedy set in a Kabbutz. Young volunteer workers from all over the world come to work on the collective farm in exchange for food, lodging and adventure. As permanent resident Gila (Joanna Pacula) says, all volunteers are running away from something. For American Mike (Sam Robards), he is running away from the pressure of medical school, taking a break after three years. Mike and Gila find each other, and Mike must decide if staying with Gila, or finishing medical school is more important to him. Along the way, there is an odd collection of other volunteers, including an American Jew escaping a Jewish mother who falls in love with a Japanese girl, two Brits who are always in trouble, a former soldier whose best friend was killed in Northern Ireland, and an Aussie woman who is recovering from a nervous breakdown.

Life in the Kabbutz is "Not Quite Paradise," as the food is not always gourmet, volunteer living quarters are not exactly four star hotel caliber, they are expected to actually work, and, as volunteers, they are second class citizens. And, of course, there is the odd Arab terrorist to deal with. The film is about half love story and half cross cultural communication. That would normally be my kind of film, but I found it overly wrong, and with no real insights. On the other hand, Pacula, a very young looking 29 at the time, looked fantastic. She shows her left breast in an after sex scene, and pokes through most of her outfits.

This film was produced and directed by Lewis Gilbert, who also brought us Educating Rita, Alfie, The Spy Who Loved Me and You Only Live Twice. There are not enough votes at IMDB to prove anything by, and no reviews available. Were it not for Pacula's charisma, the film would have been a total bore for me. As it was, my eyes required toothpicks. THe transfer is a decent Widescreen, but the DVD is bare bones. This is a C-, worth a look if it is your kind of film.

Movies:

The People vs Larry Flynt

This film has been released in a special edition DVD (street May 6). There are only two deleted scenes. One clip is about ten seconds long, in which Flynt announces his presidential candidacy from his wheelchair. The other scene is much longer. Flynt shows his fancy digs to his parents, including a faithful replica of their old Kentucky home. In other words, there is no additional nudity in the features. (I just did the film itself a few days ago.)

The first DVD had no features. The new one has:

• Commentary by actors Woody Harrelson, Edward Norton & Courtney Love
• Commentary by writers Scott Alexander & Larry Karaszewski
• The two deleted scenes with optional filmmaker commentary
• Two featurettes: Free Speech or Porn?, Larry Flynt Exposed
• New York Times film review
• Widescreen anamorphic format, 2.35:1
   

Mailbox:

Scoop:

I just read an AP review of a production of "Salome'' in New York with Dustin Hoffman and Marisa Tomei. It states that Tomei went topless during the famous Dance of Seven Veils. Did anybody get pix?

Good info, we'll see what we can find. I wasn't even aware that there were any veils or other costumes in the staged reading. I think they do it in street clothes.  The rumors were that Tomei got so involved that she made an unscripted removal of her top in one or more preview performances, but the NY Times reviewer said that she kept everything covered in the actual April 30 performance.

The cast is excellent, and also includes David Straitharn and Dianne Wiest. Estelle Parsons directed. This play was written by Oscar Wilde in French, and was actually translated into English by Bosie (Lord Alfred Douglas), his ... um .. special friend, the young guy whose father sued Wilde.

Here is the letter I was missing the other day, explaining the Tinto Brass captures:

Hi Uncle Scoopy,

First a big round of congratulations to your fantastic website!  I also saw that you didn't yet have any caps from the new Tinto Brass film "Senso45", so I've made good caps and am sending them to you.

I only collect and make gyno-caps from movies and also b-movies. I will make many more next time, and I can send them to you if you want! I also specialize in German b-softcore-films of the 70´s and 80´s (they are a little bit  more explicit), but I don't really have a good technology to make caps from videos.

On my search on your site I really have had problems to find ALL gyno shots...  I have used searchwords like gyno, hardcore etc... but not all listings with gyno shots have such a searchword in the descriptions - maybe there is a way to find all pictures of explicit fotos.

Oh, before I forget - I found an excellent source for Italian erotic films but don't know which films are a little bit more explicit. Maybe you or your readers can advise me in which films pussies are shown !!!

Here is the link: WWW.VIDEOCIAK.NET

If you tell me which films are good, I will get them and make caps for your site. (Maybe it is possible to get a free pass for your site if I send you a lot of pics?)

Well, there you go guys. I have no problem giving the author of the letter a free pass if he starts to send in material, and he wants to do it, but I don't have any idea what to recommend. If any of you are knowledgeable about Italian erotica, here's your chance to speak up. Write me, and I'll pass the info along to the author.

Mailbox plus. A long report from Celebrity Sleuth.

Dear Scoop:

Perhaps you wondering what has happened to the Sleuth.

Well, Mrs. S and I have recently returned from a visit to China, Hong Kong, Vietnam and Singapore (in that order!)--which mirrors the exact path of the spread of the "Mystery Killer Virus". We are calling it our "SARS Tour 2003" ... but thankfully, we're both perfectly fine! The incubation period has now passed...and not even a sniffle.

The only time we became concerned, in fact, was when the Rolling Stones cancelled their long-anticipated Asian Tour for early April. I mean, if Keith Richards is worried, than so am I. After all, the dude's been dead for decades!!

We actually managed to always stay about 36 hours ahead of the virus...for example, we left Hong Kong less than two days before 142 people in one apartment house came down with it (and they subsequently quarantined the city). Likewise Saigon (now called Ho Chi Minh City--except by the residents :-): they stopped letting people in a couple of days after we left. So we consider ourselves extremely fortunate--not to mention eternally grateful that we got to climb the Great Wall of China, tour Angkor Wat temple in Cambodia, visit the 7,000 Terra Cotta Warriors in Xi'an, The Forbidden City {where The Last Emperor takes place} and many other spots...before it may be too late (or dangerous) to do so.

And I swear I'm not making this up (apologies to Dave Barry): In Beijing, the most important Communist Party Conference since Mao died was being held while we were there--they're electing "a new generation of younger leaders" to coincide with their growing global economy. So I innocently asked our lovely lady guide: "Do you know who will be the next Chairman of the Party?" {replacing aging Zhang Zhemin}. "Yes we do," she replied earnestly. "So who will it be?" I asked. "Definitely," said she. "What's the new Chairman's name?" says I. "Who?" she stammers with confusion. "The new Chairman of the Communist Party!" I persist. "His name is Hu," she finally explains after 90 seconds of Abbott and Communistello. "H-U". It really was funny--totally unexpected and unplanned.

Then my wife and I leave for Hong Kong on the last day of the Communist Conference...the very last agenda item of which is for them to select a replacement for Mr. Hu's former job...Premier of the Party. So, as we board the airplane, I pick up the South China Morning Post and happen to catch the name of the man elected to take over from Hu. It's Wen...

{If we hadn't been belted in, we'd have fallen out of our seats laughing...}.

Anyway, upon our return I had a month of  "Fun House" to catch up on...so I've waited till I was finished to perhaps reply to a few of the questions/comments that were raised while I was away. So here, in no particular order, they are:
{some you and your readers may be fully aware of, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to mention, just in case}

o  The Abductors "unknown" (in the 4/2 Fun House) in links 2 & 3 is Jeramie Rain (blue panties)--the former wife of Oscar favorite Richard Dreyfuss. They had a most unamicable breakup years ago--shortly after posing together on the cover of People to chronicle Jeramie's struggle with Lupus. The blonde in the rest of the links is, of course, Cheri Caffaro.

o  Marcha Grant {with 44 links on 4/1 fromm Les Folies d'Elodie} has always claimed to be a direct descendent (specifically, great-great-granddaughter} of General Ulysses S. Grant {real first name: Hiram}. She was prettier and less of a lush, but her scenes do kinda give new meaning to the term "Union"...  {when I was a contestant on a high school quiz program years ago, I answered a question about what Grant's campaign slogan was in 1872: it was "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party" (talk about going against type :-)}

o  Susan Player {from Malibu Beach, 4/12/03} has long been married to jazz singer Al Jarreau. Cool, man...

o  Sondra Currie of Policewomen (4/13) is the older sister of twins Cherie and Marie Currie of those foxy forerunners of T.a.T.u, The Runaways. {They relied on talent in those days, not titillation! Well, somewhat...}

o  Emily Mortimer (4/14) of Lovely & Amazing "full fronticality" is the daughter of British author John Mortimer, who wrote the delightful Rumpole of the Bailey series on PBS {sadly, its star Leo McKern passed away last year}.

o  To further depress you, Scoopy...curvaceous Kathleen Beller (4/19) married techno rocker Thomas Dolby. The site of her swimming pool step "'down" from The Betsy got me thinking about a notion your FH fans might want to kick around:
Y'know how people are always saying, "She's the poor man's _______" ?  Well, perhaps it might be a fun exer-sighs to apply this to several "similar" actresses ... the FOXIER of whom basically renders the lesser obsolete (and takes all her work). So, in theory, you could say: "Elizabeth Berridge is the poor man's Kathleen Beller."
To get you started, here are five more that quickly occurred to me:

                                 LORI SINGER       is the poor man's      DARYL HANNAH

                                  MIA KIRSHNER      "    "    "     "           ROSE McGOWAN

                                  JULIETTE LEWIS    "    "    "     "           RACHEL GRIFFITHS

                                  NIA PEEPLES        "    "    "     "           VALERIE BERTINELLI

   {and sad, but true...}                HILARY SWANK     "    "    "     "           JENNIFER GARNER


Perhaps you, Jr., and your loyal fans might like to suggest some others ?


o  I actually got to meet Ron Jeremy's "true love" Tanya Lawson (3/20/03) many years back ... in NYC. She really was in love with the Ol' Hedgehog (much slimmer back then) and doted on his every word. And she was quite attractive (though a bit spaced out). We had dinner together at a downtown bistro called Bernard's ... and Ronnie and Tanya went outside afterwards "for a smoke"...and never came back {leaving with me with the check}. I mentioned this to Mr. Jeremy {real name Ronnie Hiatt} recently on the phone, and he replied: "Yeah, that sounds like me." It was ...

o  The first two frames of link # 4 on 4/21 amongst the unidentified "Strippers" of Trouble Bound is, of course, that "bitch from Hell" whom Traci Lords was "grossed out to have to kiss," Ginger Lynn (Allen).

o  Eva Reuber-Staier, the mermaid in Carry On, Dick (4/21) was Miss World 1969 (and later in three Bond films and the TV series Space 1999 -- starring the Bain of Barbara's existence, her hubby Martin Landau.

o  From the 4/21 vidcaps of Valentino, if PAL still has access to the film, he might want to also cap the "woman who replaced the irreplaceable Diana Rigg" on The Avengers, Linda {"Tara King"} Thorson. She's topless briefly 14 mins. in, as "Billie".

o  The first four Enemy Gold collages (3/24) are Sen. Chuck Robb's masturbatrix masseuse, Tai Collins (Miss Virginia 1983), and not Suzi Simpson as claimed {Suzi's in the rest}. Tai is basically Darva Conger with implants...

o  Meilani Paul, topless in The Corporate Ladder (also on 3/24) was one of the original "Uh-huh Girls" in Ray Charles' series of thirteen Diet Pepsi ads throughout 1992-3. Another was Gretchen Palmer--who also had a wretchin' boob job {and has been pictured in the Fun House}--and the third was Darlene Dillinger (who has kept her natural breasts...and lost  her career}. There's a message here--but "Uh-huh" would not be my reaction to it. If only Ray could see them now ...

o  I'm also assuming that most realize that Camille Donatacci of Marilyn Chambers' Bedtime Stories grew up to be Mrs. Kelsey Grammer {Irritable Bowel Syndrome and all...}. Similarly, it's likely known that Lou Doillon (4/30) is the younger daughter of Jane Birkin {and from her panty ads, evidently inherited her ass jeans, er genes}.

o  And now for a few requests...

       -  Did anyone get any captures of  American Idol exitee Frenchie Davis' nudes from the defunct website Daddy's
          Little Girls? She posed under the name "Honey Brown" {and likely could've stashed Pam Grier in her rear...}.

       -  Similarly, did anyone get any non Playboy {Cyber Club} nudes of Jill Nicolini of Married By America {happily,
           I was away for all of this!!}. Did someone take any images off of milfhunter.com of her (possibly) as "Harley"?

       -   I've got a copy of the DVD of Ice-T's Pimpin' 101 {guess you could call it a Ho' To Guide}, and in the beginning
           {...God created Heaven and Rap} he kisses the bare breasts of his current fiancee, Nicole "Coco" Austin.
           She's kind of like Anna Nicole without the weight, Xanax or Trendy. Can anyone get some nice caps/collages
           of the soon-to-be Mrs. Ice {will they ever throw rice}? If need be, I can send my DVD of the film to the lucky
           capper...


That's all I could come up with. Sorry to have gone on so long (well, we WERE gone for a full month!) but at least it proves that I'm SARS Free. Apparently, shortness of breath...and NOT long-windedness...is the first symptom of the dreaded disease.

Glad to be back & best to all,
Sleuth

Other crap:

• Wrestling fans, do you remember Miss Elizabeth? She died a few hours ago, at Lex Luger's house. No further details available at the moment. Lugar was arrested, but not for her death.
• Thinking about a post White House career on SNL, President Bush has been sharpening his impersonation of Mike Dukakis
• the Prez, the Dana Carvey of his generation, also has been working on his impersonation of Chevy Chase as Gerald Ford
• Playboy is searching for the sexiest babe in Indie Rock
• Pitcher B.J. Ryan defeats the Detroit Tigers without ever throwing a pitch. Go Tigers!
• A local sports hero around these parts, Tony Parker of the San Antonio Spurs, the first European point guard to start regularly in the NBA, makes People's 50 Most Beautiful List. Huh? It's not that he isn't a studly guy, but he's not an especially studly athlete compared to, for example, Derek Jeter, and nobody can quite figure out how the hell Parker made the list. But you know he'll get some heavy-duty shit from his teammates! By the way, Parker was born in the ancient and artistic city of Bruge, Belgium, the birthplace of Flemish painting and slick behind-the-back passing. (Sad news: the perennial Fun House candidate, Pete Postlethwaite, missed the list yet again.)
• Here's our dream version of the People cover.
• Only the dancing Saddams over here. Singing Saddams line-up there. Open auditions to play Saddam in a London play, presumably called Springtime for Saddam
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas are threatening legal action against Clear Channel Worldwide, because the media giant has recently published those photos showing the Oscar-winning actress "heavily pregnant and topless"
• more on Zeta-Jones
• here is the fark.com thread on the Zeta-Jones controversy
• Russian pseudo-lesbian teenage singer update. They cancelled their first British concert appearances. Rumors say because of weak ticket sales.
• Russian pseudo-lesbian teenage singer update, part 2. They will, however, make a promo appearance in an Oxford Street store in London, but have been asked to keep their act friendly to a family audience. No mention of whose family is to be the model. I think Ozzy's family and Manson's family like them.
• Saddam raps
• Check out these tasty waves, dude, right on cue for one of the most spectacular and dangerous sporting events in the world: the Billabong Pro surfing at Teahupoo, Tahiti.
• Hear Marvin Gaye's famous rendition of the National Anthem at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game. As far as I know, this is the only time in history when a sporting event national anthem singer was asked to sing an encore.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Darkwolf (2003) is a departure from the vampire movies I've been looking at recently. A real big departure. It's a werewolf movie. Werewolf? There wolf.

Plot? Special police squad assigned to round up werewolves grabs one that's lots more dangerous than all the others they have encountered. Wants to mate with a waitress who sometimes turns into a wolfwoman, in some of the worst special effects I've seen in a 21st century movie. Some real dumb action, lots and lots of gore, stupid dialog... a real winner. BUT, the movie begins with the alpha male werewolf running into a strip joint, where former Hefmate Katie Lohmann (uncredited as she may be) and four other strippers are struttin their stuff. First good decision on the movie-makers' part. 'Course they try to muck up the scene by rolling the credits over Katie's bod, but the credits were intermittent and thanks to the digital revolution I was able to take care of a bunch more frames where the credits had been but are no more. Eight collages of Katie's robohooters. BTW, this is as good as I have seen Katie look.

• Katie Lohmann (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Then the movie bogs down in something faintly resembling action and dialog and you get to meet the wolfwoman, played by Samaire Armstrong. She almost gives up the goodies, but nooooo.

• Samaire Armstrong

Oh, and another and more famous former Hefmate, Jaime Bergman, plays a cop who gets attacked by the werewolf... twice. And here I thought you either turned into a werewolf if'n you was bit by a werewolf, or you were immune to further attack, sorta like how you can't get hit twice by lightning or something like that. She gives up nothing... no cleavage, no leg, not even a bellybutton. Bad career move, there, Jaime 'cuz you do not have the gravitas to appear fully clothed.

• Jaime Bergman

So what would have seemed like hours roll by except I have this 8X fast-forward thing on my DVD player and finally you run into a second very good decision by the moviemakers. While the werewolf skulks around and eats a bunch of people, two seriously nice-looking women get nekkid and dance around while being photographed. This is as nicely shot and edited a scene as any of us is likely to see, and the women... Andrea Bogart and Sasha Williams.. have wonderfully toned dancers' bodies.

First you see Sasha posing for the camera. Then you see the two of them posing. Dancing, really. And then the two of them get all-friendly and kissy-kissy. Very good stuff.

Should mention that Sasha Williams used to play Kelsey Winslow, former tight end of the San Diego Chargers. No, make that Kelsey Winslow, the Yellow Lightspeed Ranger (from one of the more recent Power Rangers TV series).

Gotta tell you this scene kicked ass. Andrea Bogart is a first-rate babe and Sasha ain't no slouch, and they looked fantastic, even though they were all painted up. Hope Ms. Bogart makes at least forty more well-lighted, very long scenes. Have to tell you, though, that despite appearances the two of them are not fully nekkid... they are wearing very small patches over their furry bits.

• Sasha Williams (1, 2, 3)

• Andrea Bogart (1, 2, 3)

• Sasha Williams and Andrea Bogart (1, 2, 3, 4)

This movie is set up to be sequelized, which is to say the big bad werewolf survives. Let's hope so.

• Qi Shu in "The Transporter"

• Qi Shu in "Viva Erotica". Breasts in all but link #4 (which is a close up view with a hand between her legs). Link #7 also shows a bit of pubes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

• Qi Shu in "Sex and Zen 2". Her first movie, and what a debut! Breast exposure in all, pubes in links 2, 3 and 5, rear nudity in lnk #6 and plenty of sex in links 4-7. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

  
  Bonus nudity!

• Loletta Lee showing plenty of breast exposure in all 4, plus rear nudity in #4 in more scenes from "Sex and Zen 2". (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Qi Shu and Loletta Lee teaming up for a lesbain scene in "Sex and Zen 2". All 3 B's are here, although the way the scenes are filmed makes it difficult to tell who is showing what. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

DO FISH FEEL PAIN?: THE DEBATE CONTINUES
Carp, Carp, Carp! - The battle between animal rights activists and fishermen has been rekindled. Earlier this year, a University of Wyoming study concluded that fish don't feel pain because their brains aren't capable of consciousness. But now, a researcher at Scotland's Roslin Institute says her study of rainbow trout found that they do have the type of nerves that detect pain, and they react with behavior consistent with suffering. A British anglers' group said they think the first study was more accurate.