Videodrome (1983) is a Sci Fi fantasy effort from David Cronenberg. James Woods stars as the owner of a small cable company which caters to fringe markets with had and soft core porn and the like. He is searching for a new, edgier product to boost subscriptions, and decodes a very strange underground show called Videodrome, which features extreme torture, and no plot. He wants it for his station, and sets about trying to get it. His girlfriend, Deborah Harry sees a short tape at his house, and decides she wants to be a contestant on the show. Up to this point, the film is relatively normal and accessible.

Then woods finds the source of Videodrome, and discovers that there is subliminal content that causes physical changes in your body, and leads to mind control. From this point on, it is not possible to tell what is supposed to be real and what is hallucination, and I fell asleep trying. Reviewers claim this is all about the influence of media on society, and is based on the philosophy of Marshall McLuhan.

IMDb readers have this at 6.8 of 10. The makeup effects were excellent, as well as some of the other special effects, but it was the story that left me cold. Genre lovers enjoy this one, but I would not suggest it to anyone else. C-.

.wmv clips:

• I love this scene. Rebecca Romijn's underwater full-frontal in Femme Fatale.
   

UPDATES:

• In case I forgot to mention it Friday, Charlie's (French Cinema) page is updated.
• About 40 new volumes have been added, raising the encyclopedia count by another 300 or so, mostly in Volume O. All new ones are in yellow.

OTHER CRAP:

• New Zealand considers giving beer to the homeless.
• Rickey Henderson re-signs with the Newark Bears. Henderson is now 8 years older than Lou Gehrig was when he died. Oh, hell, Henderson is probably older than Methuselah was when he died. Henderson knew Cher's PARENTS, fer chrissakes.
• American voters find Bush more likeable and compassionate than John Kerry, their electric can openers, and other inanimate objects.
• The ten most dangerous countries to be a journalist. Guess which one is number one.
• Lady Madonna wants the lowly peasants evicted from her estate, and will not tolerate Robin and the merry lads poaching her deer.
• Ex-diplomat on wife's spy identity leak. Wilson's revelations were quite over-hyped. He came forward with no real evidence at all, just "what anonymous sources have told me" - that the outing of his CIA wife originated in the office of the V.P., probably with I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby. He had no reason to connect Cheney, other than the usual "how could he not be aware of something so important in his office" stuff. As for the involvement of I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby himself, that rumor has been around forever, but no hard evidence has yet emerged to back it up.
• Half of Americans Pressed for Time; a Third Are Stressed Out. But the others are totally mellow, dude.
• Brad Pitt says, "I'm hung like a hamster". He lied.
• It is the morning of May 3rd, and only team seven games above .500 is - (drumroll) - the Texas Rangers! And the White Sox and Padres are right behind, six games over! .
• Today's most exciting story in Norway: Norwegian Polar Institute names new cabinet position - Polar Bear Researcher. Armed with a Ph.D., his job will be to count the number of polar bears. Without that info, the Norwegian government would collapse. "Twenty six, twenty seven ... oh, drittsekk, I think I already counted that one. Start again."
• McDonald's manager agrees to a pay cut, becomes President of Panama . He announced that he'll stimulate the economy by plus-selling to Panama's illegal drug traffickers. They will be asked if they want weapons to go with that. His assistant manager now has to choose between managing the MickeyD's or the Presidency of Estonia.
• Police seize Michael Jackson's underpants. Wedgie!
• The gossipy A List weighs in on Hollywood personalities. Featuring the stars of Van Helsing:
  • "Beckinsale, Kate. Has a penchant for setside squabbling. 'Cold fish. Tremendous amount of plastic surgery. Hates other women.' "
  • Jackman, Hugh. mmmmMM! Very nice guy, humble and faithful to his wife. (Although, sad to say, I'm hearing rumors that pre-marriage he was a bed-hopping slut. *sigh*) (I've also heard the opposite, which I'd much prefer to be true). Possibly a little too friendly with John Travolta. (NOOOO!) Current word in NYC is that Hugh is discreetly shagging his 24 year old male assistant, though I've had some Broadway types tell me that he's just queer-friendly and a fag-stag.
• Urban Legends Reference Pages: Did NHL tough guy Eric Lindros lose a bar fight to figure skater Elvis Stojko. Yup, right after Mini-me beat the crap out of Mike Tyson in the prelim.
• Weekly World News editors captured by space aliens, forced to suspend publication.
• eFilmCritic - EARL DITTMAN EXPOSED Film Criticism's Greatest Shame. "His blurbs included in the advertising of a movie generally indicate that the film has been resoundingly trashed by all others. And some of his video-box quotes are so obviously a work-for-hire deal that you can’t help but shake your head. His name is Earl Dittman, and in our humble opinion, his profession is 'whore'."
  • Both Laws of Attraction and New York Minute feature Dittman quotes in the advertising.
• Review of the week: Envy, as reviewed by The Filthy Critic: "Envy is billed as a comedy, and maybe it is. Maybe it's some new brand of comedy that has no jokes or humor or, I don't know, any reason to exist. This thing is one of the most carefully and patiently made turds I've seen since some asshole told my retard cousin Larry that shit-sculpture would be in this year's Special Olympics. I wish I could express to you how fucking awful Envy, but it takes more than words. It takes puppets, and the proper costumes, and a hell of a lot of lighter fluid."
• FilmJerk.com - The Early Report for May 2, 2004
• The French trailer for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
• How many servers does Google use? At least 79,000, perhaps more than 100,000. Check out the amazing stats.
• Weekend Box Office. Mean Girls beat the other four new releases added together!
  • The golf movie bombed big-time. (One million total, less than $900 per screen).
  • The other three were in the 6-7 million range.
  • Mean Girls was a hit - 25 million total, almost $9000 per screen!
  • Man on Fire had an excellent second week, with only a 33% drop-off, indicating good word of mouth.
  • Kill Bill seems to have run out of steam.
• WOW! Here's a team I could root for! - The Texas Tech Women's Swim Team
• Height makes right. Kerry favored in presidential race by four inches.
• The steroid test results of all 1,200 Major League Baseball players from last season have been obtained by federal investigators after the players union reneged on an agreement during the BALCO probe.
• The World's Shortest Stuntman. The 4'2" stunt man mentions that he really looks up to Tom Cruise. Hell, he even looks up to Devito!
• Writers' DVD deal talks continue past expiration date. The dispute is over DVD profits. The writers want a cut. The studios say that the healthy profits from DVDs are necessary to make up for the poor economics of theatrical releasing.
• She's a Playmate and a Baywatch Babe. Playmate Gallery of Marliece Andrada, Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Four free short videos from SPICE UNCENSORED!, the stuff too hot for Spice TV
• 'Matrix' co-creator Larry Wachowski about to get a wangerectomy, become "Linda" Wachowski
• From the Independent: Antarctica is likely to be the world's only habitable continent by the end of this century if global warming remains unchecked according to the British Government's chief scientist, Professor Sir David King.
• Checkstand rage after woman brings 13 items into the "12 items or less" line
• Tinfoil hat department: Dick Cheney and his friends are using Drosnin's Double Top Secret Bible Codes. No, really, not the regular bible codes, but additional proprietary ones available only to Cheney. The ones they are using are not available in stores,
• Kerry Struggling to Find a Theme, Democrats Fear. So far, they are leaning toward "I'm a douchenozzle, but I'm not Bush, and I'm less of a douchenozzle than Nader", but other strategists feel their position needs to be more pithy.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Potpourri

• Men of War is either intended to be a comedy or is a laughably bad movie, but Charlotte Lewis is one megababe. (.avi, .wmv)

• Dervla Kirwan whips off the top for the Brit miniseries "A Time to Dance" (.avi, .wmv).

• Maria Conchita Alonso is charming in Moscow on the Hudson, and the flick is actually worth watching. (.avi, .wmv)

Flypaper

I didn't remember a damned thing about this movie, but I must have seen it, because I wrote a short review of it four years ago, before the Movie House came along.

Flypaper is a slight twist on the Tarantino formula. It does have the intersecting plot lines, sensationalized violence, and perverse humor, but it twists the knife in a slightly different direction. It goes directly for the humorous aspects of the grotesque violence, rather than for the gory aspects. As a result, one guy walks around with his ear off, and another guy spends the last third of the movie with a knife in his head. Now that I think about it, I don't know if anyone ever dies in this movie. They just keep accumulating more bizarre wounds, and losing more body parts. Anyway, it is funny in a sick and twisted way, but the essence of the movie is just pointless schlock, and a little of that goes a long way for me. Look for a truly twisted scene where Lucy Liu and her lover take anti-venom antidote and make love in a nest of snakes, while being bitten viciously in graphic detail. I think this heightens their pleasure - or something.

That was written a while ago. In the intervening years, Lucy Liu has become a major star.

• Sadie Frost (.avi, .wmv).

• Lucy Liu (.avi, .wmv). As described above, this is a unique scene.

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

"Adam & Evil" (2004)
Recently released low budget teen horror with all the cliches. The only real sex scene was ruined by the blatant use of a body double.

• Allison Warnyca: partial boob in sex scene. Spot the body double.
• Barbara Kottmeier: bikini closeup by former Canadian Idol contestant.
• Erica Cerra: bikini closeup.
• Lynsey Brothers: braless pokies, bikini closeup.
• Tiffany Patterson: great bikini closeup, partial boob.
• Group shot: more bikini shots.

"Savage Island" (2003)
Another recent relesase. Hicksploiation about a yuppie couple who run afoul of some hillbillies on an island. A surefire recipe for disaster. No nudity.

• Kristina Copeland: cleavage having fully clothed sex.
• Nahanni Arntzen: ditto. But she shown the full monty on The 'L' Word.

"Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde" (1999) (TV)
Deadful Coppolla movie ruined by Adam Baldwin. The euro DVD release "The Prophecy of the Tiger" shows more skin by Karen Cliche.

• Karen Cliche: breasts making love then full dorsal in shower.
• Kira Clavell: cleavage.
• Helene Joy: tight sweater.
• Stripper: topless.

"The Fear: Resurrection" (1999) aka "Fear 2: Halloween Night"
Horror on available on DVD in Europe. Stars a wooden statue with the acting range of Adam Baldwin. No nudity.

• Kelly Benson: cleavage having fully clothed sex.
• Rachel Hayward: downblouse.
• Stacy Grant: tight sweater.
• Emmanuelle Vaugier: dressed up as a box. Just funny.

• Italian mega-babe Monica Bellucci topless in scenes from "Agents secrets" (still in theaters in Europe and not available in the US).

• Natalia Verbeke, the Spanish cinema star showing breasts and bush in a sex scene from "Dot the I" aka "El Punto sobre la I" (2003).

"The Cooler"
Sometimes the acting makes a mediocre story worthwhile, and that's the case in this 2003 drama/romance. Outstanding performances by William H. Macy, Maria Bello, and Alec Baldwin make up for a plot that's sometimes slow and thin in the middle, but with a cool ending. Maria's nude scenes didn't hurt, either. :-)

Macy plays a "cooler", a guy whose luck is so bad he's used as a jinx by a mob-run Vegas casino, to kill the luck of patrons on a winning streak. He does his job well just touching a roulette table will stop a run, until he falls in love with a cocktail waitress. When love causes his luck to change, his crooked boss is less than pleased. Despite it's flaws, this very well-acted movie is worth watching.

The movie was originally rated NC-17, then re-edited to get an R rating before release. Apparently they didn't release the NC-17 version (yet), but I sure wish they would.

• Maria Bello

• Elisha Cuthbert and January Jones, no nudity but both still look just fine to me.

• Sienna Guillory, also known by Fun House readers as Helen from the the "Helen of Troy" mini-series. No nudity.

• Keira Knightley, the "Pirates of the Caribbean" star also stayed dressed.

• Laura Linney, the Oscar nominated actress goes topless (link #2). (1, 2, 3)

• Heike Makatsch, the German born actress wears a tight sweater in #1, and looks amazing in a red bra and panties in #2. (1, 2)

• Martine McCutcheon (1, 2)

• Lúcia Moniz

• Joanna Page, ultra-cute and very nude. (1, 2, 3)

• Emma Thompson