Saturday

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Hidden Agenda (1998) is an espionage thriller that is set in Berlin after the wall fell. Since this one had no surprises for me even not knowing anything about it in advance, I really don't want to write a spoiler, but the plot revolves around a disk that contains names of everyone who informed for the East German Secret police, and everyone is after it. Everyone includes Andrea Roth, who has good pokies in a German Damenhemden, or women's shirt.

For me, every plot twist was telegraphed way in advance, and they had a lot of trouble ending it as well. They did create a unique form of torture for a long scene. The victim is strapped in a chair with arms restrained, and devices are attached to his eyelids to force them open. They dilate his pupils, then turn on floodlights to torture him. The transfer is a grainy, dark and undersaturated 4/3 transfer, which was so bad it made even Germany look dreary and boring. There was nothing seriously wrong with the acting, but the plot was just way too obvious. C.

Movies

To Gillian, on her 37th Birthday is a 1996 weeper with a better than average cast, including Michelle Pfeiffer and Claire Danes. It isn't bad for this type of movie (man can't move on after the death of his beloved wife), because it has at least one character that seems genuine (Danes), and Pfeiffer was absolutely radiant as the idealized memory of the dead wife. If I were you, though, I'd skip the rental.

Although it is watchable if your significant other forces the issue, it is probably not the film of choice for the estrogen-challenged among us, based upon the following characteristics:

• No beer drinking
• No weapons
• No killing of animals
• No uncovered breasts
• No rugby, football, boxing or other rough, manly sports
• No large, powerful vehicles
• Unmanly karaoke performances of Leo Sayre songs in wimpy falsettos by guys in white prom tuxes
• Grown men engaged in delicate sand castle construction
• Freddie Prinze Jr

For you truly manly men, there were some buns from:

• Claire Danes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Laurie Fortier (1, 2, 3)

The new issue of Celebrity Sleuth is out, dedicated to songstresses. Here are some slips, see-throughs, and such.

• Toni Braxton (1, 2, 3)
• Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child
• LeToya Luckett, formerly of Destiny's Child (1, 2, 3)
• Mariah Carey
• Shelby Lynne

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Julia Ormond topless in "Nostradamus" (1994). Now here's a cast for ya...Tchéky Karyo (official French guy of all movies), F. Murray Abraham, Rutger Hauer and Amanda Plummer! A regular smorgasbord of psycho actors!

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

• Meg Foster (1, 2, 3)

Next, a few collages from the 1986 movie The Vindicator (aka Frankenstein '88). This part of the -ATOR series of low budget scifi movies that followed in the footsteps of the Terminator. Not much to talk about here except for two babes of the nekkid variety: veteran actress Teri Austin getting out of a bubblebath to reveal bum and the side of one breast, and cute little Caroline Arnold showing boobs only. By the way, she looks seriously pissed off in the second collage because the main baddie has boffed her and thrown her away. Just shows how bad he is.

• Teri Austin
• Caroline Arnold (1, 2)

Lana Clarkson is back. This time as the Babe in Bondage in 1985's "Barbarian Queen". Lana spends about 5 minutes of screen time tortured on a rack in a scene that has become somewhat of a cult classic.

• Lana Clarkson topless (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

On a side note, Scoop and I were recently talking about "Blade Runner" and we both agree, we LIKE the original theatrical release with Harrison Ford doing the voice over. In my mind, it's kinda the element that makes the movie. It's the closer. The voice over is what completes the homage to the classic 1950's, film noir, sleazeball detective movie, which is basically what Blade Runner is. It's been reported that Ford hated the voice over, and as a result purposely read the lines as poorly as possible thinking that if he did it badly enough, it wouldn't be used. Yet, if you look at the Deckard character, the unkempt, uncaring washout that drinks himself to sleep on the couch...Ford's dislike for the lines, and poor delivery are perfect! Do you think Deckard's inner monologue would be dramatic in any way? Of course not! It would be dull and monotone. This was a character that was sick of everything, including himself.

Director's Cut vs. Original Theatrical Cut. This is an old debate so I won't go on too much, but...I think it would be a heck of a DVD if BOTH versions were available, with commentary from Ridley Scott and Harrison Ford comparing the two. Especially since Ford and Scott have both been quoted as having different views on the "Is Deckard a Replicant" issue. It's too late for a 20th Anniversary release, but maybe in 5 years?

It’s March 1943 the outcome of World War 2 is in the balance and likely to be influenced by the ability of Allied convoys to successfully run the gauntlet of German U Boats in the Atlantic. The convoys are aided by the deciphering of German naval communications being carried out at Station X in Bletchley Park. Suddenly the Germans change the communication code (Shark) used by their Enigma cipher machines. Tom Jericho (Dougray Scott the mathematical genius who first broke Shark is recalled to Station X. Jericho and his team of code-breakers is given the task of breaking back into Shark before the convoy sails into the waiting U boats. With the involvement of a spy suspected everyone at Station X is under scrutiny from Wigram, a member of the British Intelligence Service. In addition to breaking the German Enigma, Jericho has a personal enigma to solve. Claire Romily (Saffron Burrows), the girl who broke his heart and caused the nervous breakdown that forced him to leave Station X has disappeared without trace. He enlists the help of her friend Hester (Kate Winslet) to unravel Claire’s disappearance and possible involvement with another code-breaker at Station X while avoiding the clutches of the overbearing Wigram. Jericho, more accustomed to intense brain action, finds himself a reluctant action hero in a race against time to resolve both enigmas.

Unlike many war movies there is no glorification of the characters. They are depicted how they really were – a group of extremely intelligent people who sat around drinking tea and playing chess waiting the arrival of intercepts to be deciphered. The movie and acting is good and the technical features of Enigma are dealt with in an informative but non-complicated manner. If you’re looking for an action packed war movie avoid this. The action is character driven rather than militaristic. However this is a pretty good thriller.

C-

Nudity
Saffron Burrows is briefly topless in the sex scene. Kate Winslet didn't get nude! Most likely due to her being pregnant at the time of filming.

Historical Note

The Germans considered Enigma to be unbreakable. An Enigma machine resembled a cross between a portable typewriter and a small cash register. It had three rotors on a shaft with an alphabet around the outside. Inside each was electrical wiring that connected the position for each letter on one side to that for a different letter on the other. Each of the rotors made a different set of transpositions. When the operator pressed a key, electric current flowed through the three rotors in turn, each of which transposed the letter. The signal was then “reflected” back through the rotors, which transposed it three more times. It was transposed once more at the plugboard before the current finally lit a lettered porthole on the lampboard. Enigma was further complicated by the use of “daily keys” – the choice and order on the shaft, the position of movable rings on each rotor and the plugboard connections. The daily keys were changed every eight hours at the height of the war.

The decoding of German signals owed much to the capture of an Enigma machine and naval codebooks from a U-boat. Early version computers were used to work out possible combinations using a menu of potential positions drawn by mathematicians.

Source: The World At Arms, Readers Digest

• Saffron Burrows (1, 2, 3)