The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976) is a Nicolas Roeg film about an alien whose planet is dying from drought. After watching a lot of Earth TV with his family, he decides to visit Earth because it has lots of water. With his advanced knowledge, he writes several patentable ideas, and forms a huge conglomerate, placing Buck Henry in charge. The alien, played by David Bowie, moves to New Mexico, and begins a relationship with Candy Clark, his cleaning maid, who was, at the time, a favorite bedmate of Roeg.

As his company builds, he acquires more and more expert help, including Rip Torn, a science professor who spent most of his time bedding coeds before the job came. Eventually, Bowie, now worth hundreds of millions, announces that all company assets will be redirected into a space program. He is about to take off, when the government seizes his assets, and puts him in protective custody. He becomes more and more human and debauched, as his chances of going home get slimmer and slimmer.

Only Clark and Torn know his true identity. The story, like much of Roeg's work, is about someone alone in a strange society, and dealing with loneliness. Also, like much of his work, it is told with a non-linear time line, and includes a lot of nudity. We see torn in bed with Linda Hutton (breasts), Hilary Holland (full frontal) and Adrienne Larussa (full frontal). Claudia Jennings does a full frontal in a pool scene, and Candy Clark gives a three B performance in several scenes. Everyone in the film ages, as it takes place over several years, except David Bowie. There is a rather strange sex scene between Clark's character as an older woman, and Bowie, where they keep shooting each other with blanks. I now from the bonus features that Clark played herself as an old woman, and also played the alien wife, but the body in some of this sex scene is clearly not hers. It is either a double, or a very good makeup job. I am going to go with makeup job, and think the bra she keeps around her waist hides a seam in the makeup.

The film was shot on location, mostly in New Mexico, but used a largely British crew. IMDb readers have it at 6.5. It was not a box office smash, but was a real achievement, and somewhat ahead of its time. At 140 minutes, it was a long watch, but Roeg's imagery, as usual, was wonderful, which helped pass the time. Other cuts exist, which I understand are not worth seeing. Even uncut, the viewer needs to work to keep up with it. Evidently the censored versions make no sense at all. Roeg is not bothered by his lack of commercial success. Producer Barry Spikings said that if Roeg was offered a script that looked like it had commercial potential, he would turn it down. I am giving this a C+ with the warning that it is not for everyone.

Seed of Chucky (2004):

This is basically a self-referential comedy making fun of the Chucky series. Jennifer Tilly plays Jennifer Tilly, who is making a Chucky movie when her movie's Chucky dolls are turned into the "real" Chucky and Tiffany, who then concoct a plan to step up one more level on the food chain, and take over the bodies of Jennifer Tilly and Redman. Read all the details here.

• Stephanie Chambers (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Tiffany the puppet
• Jennifer Tilly (no nudity)

Ragtime (1981):

If you are interested in my comments about Ragtime, read those details here. Pics in yesterday's edition.

Other Crap:

• The Greatest Game Ever Played
  • : "From the studio that brought you 'The Rookie' and 'Miracle' and director Bill Paxton, comes a story of courage, passion and of the greatest American sports hero you have probably never heard of... An amateur player from a working class family, Francis Ouimet - played by Shia LaBeouf ('Holes') - shocked the golf world when at the 1913 U.S. Open, flanked by his 10-year-old caddie, he defeated his idol, the defending British champion Harry Vardon - played by Stephen Dillane. An unlikely match-up - 'the ingenue versus the seasoned champ' - theirs was the greatest match the sport had ever known. Caught between a world of hardship and a beckoning life of privilege, Francis needed to prove his unfailing will and ability to make it to the tournament. Elias Koteas ('Traffic,' 'Ararat') plays Francis' tough, hardworking father. Newcomer Peyton List is Sarah Wallis, the beautiful young woman, who catches Francis' heart. Joshua Flitter is Eddie Lowery, the pint sized caddie who helps Francis find his way through the troublesome fairways to victory."
• The Bible Poop Quiz. " ... take the following quiz to find out just a few of the things God has to say about feces in the Good Book"
• BBC says "The new Star Wars film is a 'bloodbath' which deserves its PG-13 rating" Wait - does this mean it might not suck? I'm outraged!
• Buffy lands two solid film roles. When questioned by the body collector, Gellar replied, "I'm not quite dead yet."
• Virginia Mason Hospital is off the hook over a patient set on fire during surgery
  • The quote of the day comes from a hospital official, who must be the best spin "doctor" ever. He said "The incident had nothing to do with the patient's death that day" {cough}
• Come As You Are - Banned TV ad
• The Simpsons live in ... Matt Groening's Portland, Oregon?
• Why waste your hard-earned money on money-grubbing quacks when you can do it yourself with the Home Vasectomy Kit
• Nike iD Billboard Invites Mobile Users. "It lets people use their phones to design or even to buy a personalized shoe on the Reuters sign in Times Square."
• Bigfoot photographed in Idaho. Bigfoot, real name Donatello "Big" Foote, did not return calls for comments.
• Borowitz: ABC's new poll shows Paula Abdul is Evil Incarnate.
  • "According to the survey results, Ms. Abdul’s popularity has plummeted following the ABC broadcast, with her meager approval rating of 4% well below that of terrorist madman Osama bin Laden (7%), North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il (9%), and Beelzebub (13%)."
• An Italian website that published a photo montage of Pope Benny Hex dressed in a Nazi uniform was told to suspend its activities on Wednesday for offending the Roman Catholic religion - an offense punishable under Italian law by a year in jail. Shit - remind me never to visit Italy again. I just calculated that I would have to spend the next three millennia in an Italian jail.
• Star Wars and Napoleon Dynamite - together at last! AtomFilms presents Anakin Dynamite
• Buffo - The World's Strongest Clown! If you live in Pennsylvania, Buffo could be the best entertainment value in your area. Well, excluding cow-tipping and ridiculing the Amish. I guess you really can't have more fun than making fun of the Amish on the internet. Costs nothing, and the best part - they'll never know!
• Cool Hunting: Toilet Bowl Restaurant - with pictures.
  • "It's a restaurant in Taiwan with a modern decor and a full-on toilet theme. The thorough implementation includes toilet chairs, urinal sconces, and even commode shaped serving pieces."
• Conclave Obscurum - I have no idea what this site is about, but it sure has some cool flash animation.
• What's Your Bag? - simulate the late 60s
• Advance word on the Carlito's Way prequel is excellent.
• Actor Macaulay Culkin and two other witnesses whom prosecutors say were molested by Michael Jackson will be among the first to testify in the pop star's defense
• URL pretty much says it all: MartinShortIsLame.com (Well, not QUITE all. Maybe you should know that the webmaster of this site is the noted Canadian Oddball, Tom Green)
• "Family Guy" now in the Top 25 - Top 10 among the 18-49 audience.
• I know it's hard to believe that the picture is siller than this headline, but have a look: "Plastic potty helps pussy pee"
• Two Laramie, Wyoming men are facing obscenity charges for allegedly building a snow sculpture of a phallus in their front yard. "Oh, you mean you said you wanted an Ice Palace?"
• Weekly World News: "GAY PRIDE GROUP IN BID FOR NATIONAL GAY DAY!" ... "IF APPROVED: ANY MAN CAN BE QUEEN FOR A DAY"
• The trailer from 3 Extremes, a horror anthology film from three differrent Asian directors.
• Here's the trailer from Crazy like a Fox. Official press release:
  • "Crazy like a Fox" is the story of Nat Banks, a gentleman farmer who loses his family seat to a pair of real estate operators from Washington, D.C. But when the time comes for Nat to leave his ancestral home and move to a rental house in town, the pride of possession from so many generations on the same soil makes it impossible for him to go. He moves into a cave by the creek that runs through the back of his former property instead. Nat won't go down without a fight! He spends the summer there in a kind of Robinson Crusoe splendor in the wilds of Virginia, until the cold rains of November make the folly of his situation overwhelming. But when new owners leave Greenwood empty to spend the winter in Palm Springs, Nat and his family just move back in, to reclaim their family home until the spring thaw brings about a final confrontation between the dubious forces of progress and the old guard of Virginia.
• Here's the trailer from the acclaimed and timeless screen classic, Supercross The Movie. I thought Ed Wood Jr was dead, but this sure looks like his work.
• Five new clips from Will Ferrell's Kicking & Screaming
  • No plot summary needed. Just go to the IMDb summary for Little Giants. Any time it says "football," cross that out and write "soccer." Anytime it says "brother," cross that out and write "father." Leave everything else the same.
• Here's a completely new Yahoo-exclusive trailer for The Devil's Rejects (Rob Zombie's sequel)
• Here's the teaser trailer from The Legend of Zorro
• Today in Uncle Scoopy's Guest House - Elizabeth McGovern in Ragtime. The DVD includes a deleted scene with more McGovern nudity. For some reason it is digitally blurrer and desaturated, but the ol' pause button works miracles sometimes when the blurring is sloppy.
• The Daily Show's Stephen Colbert to get his own show. I'm not surprised. He is one funny dude.
• New York Daily News presents jokes cut from Laura Bush's monologue.
  • "Yesterday I thought the milk tasted funny. I gave it to Dick Cheney to try, but he spat it out. I forgot he only drinks blood."
• Star Magazine claims: "Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie made so much noise during an animalistic sex session that security rushed to their room." What's the big deal? I have had this happen to me several times. Sadly, I was alone in the room.
• Cool! Cassini spacecraft crosses Saturn precisely on the ring plane
• Judge Dismisses $9M Lawsuit Against Maher
• Oprah calls in dog shrink for her pooch

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

This week's poll....

Email Scoopy Jr. if you'd like to add nominees or offer suggestions for future polls.

Here are the results of our previous polls:
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
Best Lesbian Love Scenes

Today from the Ghost...an assortment of video clips. Zipped .wms as usual.

• Anna Forrest doing some nekkid yoga in scenes from "Blue Thunder" (1983).

• Jennifer Jason Leigh, topless and in her undies while playing a teenage hooker in a scene from the Alec Baldwin movie, "Miami Blues" (1990).

• Katie Holmes, and her one and only (and glorious) topless scene. Here she is in "The Gift".

• London King, topless in bed with 'La Bamba' in a scene from the direct-to-vid movie "A Better Way to Die" (2000)

• Canadian actress Michelle Beaudoin briefly bares breasts and bum during a sex scene from the 1995 Ellen Barkin/Laurence Fishburn movie, "Bad Company".

• Beautiful toplessness from Spanish babe Penélope Cruz in a scene from "Open Your Eyes".

• Polly Niles, showing just a bit of breast and bum views in scenes from the 1972 flick, "Superfly".

• Suzen Murakoshi showing all 3 B's in "Wall Street".

• Teal Roberts bares breasts and thong views while working the brass pole in "Beverly Hills Cop II".

• Victoria Smurfit, the Irish actress shows her breasts during an outdoor love scene from "The Run of the Country".

Kimberly Rowe
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

MOVIE CHAIN TO LIST ACTUAL START TIMES
Start Time: 5:45...Actually, 8:15 - Tuesday, Loews Cineplex announced that it will begin advertising the actual starting time of movies, in addition to the time of the "overall show," which includes all the trailers and commercials. They said they did it after "some of our customers have suggested that we also publicize the start time of the movie."

If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!