Friday

Tuna
"Loving Feeling"

Loving Feeling (1968) tries to pass as a time crapsule of 60s morality, or lack thereof. There are no votes, reviews or comments at IMDb, which makes me the stupidest person in the known world for watching this. At least I have the honor of being the first to trash it.

Does this sound familiar? A young man does bird after bird, never meeting their needs, then ends up all alone. No, his name is Steevie Day, not Alfie, one of the birds he actually married, and he doesn't seem to have a sadistic streak. He also has a job as a morning DJ. In case we have trouble figuring out what his problem is, every single one of the supporting characters eventually tells us that he never grew up.

Ok, Alfie was a serious film delivering a needed message that indiscriminate sex is not the same as intimacy, and is eventually unsatisfying, and this is really more of an exploitation film with a derivative plot, so we must make allowances. Is it exciting? Not hardly. The sex scenes are all pretty much the same, a flash of breast, facial shots, cut to the next day. There is not one moan nor groan in the entire film. The pace is glacial. They chose to linger on closeups of women who couldn't act for 30 or 40 seconds with no dialogue or facial expression, for instance. There are also lengthy driving scenes during which nothing happens. The key to understanding why this film was even made is the fact that it was originally rated X in England.

To sum up, we have a kinder, gentler Alfie with a precious few tit shots, and no talent performers. We see breasts from Georgina Ward, Paula Patterson, and one actress I was unable to identify. Also, the women are all promiscuous as well, but are good girls at heart and are looking for real fulfillment. Technically, it is marginally adequate, earning it a D-, rather than what I would like to award it.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Francois Pascal (1, 2, 3)
  • Paula Patterson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    A Different Loyalty (2004):

    In A Different Loyalty, Sharon Stone plays an unglamorous 1950s American housewife who is married to the frumpy New York Times correspondent in Beirut when she falls in love with one of her husband's colleagues, a freelance British writer. They have a passionate whirlwind courtship followed by five years of ecstatically happy marriage when her husband disappears without warning. When all the smoke clears, it turns out that her husband is possibly the most successful spy in history, a KGB plant who had also wormed his way deep into the bowels of British Intelligence. When his cover was blown, the Russians smuggled him to Moscow. His wife and family had known nothing of his double life.

    The wife visits him in Moscow, after which she is subjected to humiliating interrogations by the British and Americans. She returns to Moscow in order to persuade him to return and co-operate with the British authorities. He must choose between a wife he truly loves and the Communist ideology he truly believes in. At one point, Sharon Stone rips her robe open, shows her breasts to her spy husband and says melodramatically, "You have to choose. Which do you love more, me or the Communist Party?"

    I'm not kidding. That really happened in the film. Moreover, it really happened in real life! You see, this film is a roman a clef based on the life of the legendary spy Kim Philby, at least the portion of it covered by his wife's book, "Kim Philby: The Spy I Loved." In real life, Philby answered his wife, "the Party, of course." In the film, the spy was more discreet and provided no answer. As long as the scriptwriter was going to change the answer, he may as well have changed the question as well, and as long as Sharon was baring her breasts anyway, she should have said, "Which do you love more, THESE or the Communist Party?"

    Of course, since the spy was played by the publicly admitted homosexual Rupert Everett, I guess he still would have gone with the Party.

    Philby was the dominant figure in 20th century espionage. You've heard of The Third Man, I suppose. That was Philby, who was a very good friend and colleague of the novelist Graham Greene, the author of The Third Man. The actual meaning of the term comes from an episode in which two double agents mysteriously escaped the dragnet of an internal investigation at the British intelligence agency. Just as the noose was about to close around them, the two men, who were supposed to be unaware of the probe, disappeared from England and reappeared in Moscow. Who tipped them off? The British knew that there must have been a third man - another KGB plant who was deep enough into British intelligence that he was aware of the investigation and helped to smuggle his colleagues out. But who was the third man? That turned out to be Philby, although it would be about a dozen years before that was known with any certainty. Philby was dismissed from the intelligence service in the early 50s, right after the probe, but the British eventually started trusting him again, and he was being used as a free lance informant, under cover as a journalist in Beirut.

    That brings us back to where the movie begins.

    Despite a substantial thirteen million dollar budget and some pricey location shooting in London and Moscow (and Malta, which played the part of Lebanon), A Different Loyalty never received theatrical distribution in the United States or the U.K. I suppose there is some justification for that. The film quite clearly shows that Mrs. Philby was treated far better by the authorities in Moscow than those in the U.S. or the U.K., who used threats, insults, and scare tactics to extract information from her. This was handled with melodramatic flourish as thuggish FBI agents threatened to throw her out a window and hurt her children! It treats Philby as a hero of sorts who was really not a traitor to his country, but rather a man who was loyal to the only thing he believed in - The Soviet Union. In Philby's mind, he did not choose to be born in England, but he did choose Marxism, and he received a hero's funeral in the Soviet Union in 1988. I suppose if the film had been a potential box office monster, distributors might have been willing to take a chance on it, but nobody felt that way, so everyone steered away from the controversy, and it went straight to video.

    It's not a great movie, but it is a fairly good one simply because it stays quite close to reality in many ways. The facts are embellished, entire incidents are cut from whole cloth, and the script does not restrict itself to Mrs Philby's book, so the names of the characters have been changed, and it is clearly represented as a fictional story. In spite of that, it is substantially the story of the Philby marriage and their attitudes, so it provides some accurate insight into how people thought in an earlier time, and how Philby and his family viewed the world(s) they lived in. If Michael Mann had made this film, it could have been a masterpiece. As it is, it's not half bad.

    • Sharon Stone collages. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Sharon Stone .wmv film clips. (1, 2)

     

    Other Crap:

     

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     
    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    Scoop came up with a good idea for our next poll that should stir up some conversation, if not some controversy.

    This week's poll....

    Email Scoopy Jr. if you'd like to add nominees or offer suggestions for future polls.


    Here are the results of our previous polls:
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
    The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
    Best Lesbian Love Scenes


    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Today from the Ghost, another batch of assorted video clips. Zipped .wmvs as usual.

    • Audie England, the co-star of own of our favorites ("Free Enterprise") baringe breasts and bum (maybe a hint of pubes too if you squint) during a love scene from an episode of "Red She Diaries". (1, 2, 3)

    • Jennifer Rubin in scenes from two movies. Clip #1 features breasts, bum, pseudo sex and some really lame special effects in a scene from "The Wasp Woman" (1995). In clips #2 we see her topless in 1991's "Delusion". (1, 2, 3)

    • Denise Cheshire bares breast and bum while doing a parody of the famous nekkid swimming scene from "Jaws". Here she is scenes from the Steven Spielberg movei "1941" (1979). (1, 2)

    • Christa Sauls, topless in scenes from the Jeff Fahey movie, "Ghost Rock" (2003). (1, 2)
    • Christa Sauls zipped .wmv

    Vejiita
    Barbara Schulz Topless in scenes from the French flick "Livraison à domicile" (2003).

    Céline Cailleau Another French babe....here she is going full frontal in scenes from "Le Poulpe" (1998).

    Clotilde Courau
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    		More nudity from "Le Poulpe". This time we have lovely toplessness and rear nudity, plus frontal views in #10.

    Julie Delarme Yet another babe gettin' topless in scenes from "Le Poulpe".

    Élodie Bouchez
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    		The almost always nude French actress topless in a love scene from "Les Kidnappeurs" (1998).

    Héléna Noguerra
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    		Topless and also briefly baring breasts and bum in scenes from "Ah! Si j'étais riche" aka "If I Were a Rich Man" (2002).

    Variety
    Mariah Carey The seemingly not-always-sane pop "diva" wearing a very tight top and showing some pokies while out in public.

    Cindy Crawford
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    		Señor Skin 'caps of the supermodel turned somtimes actress going topless in her mega-lame action film debut, "Fair Game".

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    MICHAEL JACKSON UPDATE
    Fried Bank Account - Michael Jackson's prosecution rested Wednesday after calling Jackson insider Rudy Provencio to back claims that Jackson tried to silence his accuser's family. But more interesting was the previously-unknown trivia he revealed. For instance: Michael doesn't own a cell phone. He calls money "French fries" and never carries any, so he's always asking flunkies to "give him some fries." He had a chimp named Max that we never heard about. And he liked to go to Universal Studios theme park unrecognized by dressing as a clown.

  • Nobody would ever suspect it's Michael Jackson, what with the silly clothes, the fake nose and the whiteface makeup.
  • There's nothing more enjoyable for Michael than hanging out in a theme park, in a disguise that attracts children.
  • If he didn't want to be recognized, he should've worn blackface makeup.
  • With the big, red nose, he actually looked more normal.
  • We never hear from Max the chimp because he saw too much and had to be silenced.


    STRIPPING IS AN ART
    Stripping Furniture, Maybe - A court in Oslo, Norway, has ruled that stripping is an art. Tax officials had declared that it wasn't an art, so tickets to strip clubs should be subject to the 25 percent VAT, or value added tax. But the judge sided with club owners, finding that it is an art, like ballet, opera or stand-up comedy. One stripper told NRK radio, "I'm very pleased. Ninety percent of the guests here tell me that what I'm doing is art."

  • Only because the guy she's currently doing is named Art.
  • And men would never be dishonest when flattering a stripper!
  • The other 10 percent are passed out drunk at their tables.
  • Strip clubs are like art: both have nudity and oils and are wildly overpriced.
  • What the judge meant was, "If stand-up comedy is an art, then stripping is an art."
  • If they wrestle naked in a vat of Jello, is the vat subject to a VAT?


    FARRELL HIT ON 69-YEAR-OLD CO-STAR
    She Plays The Dust - Colin Farrell is famous for bedding leading ladies, but Dame Eileen Atkins, his married, then-69-year-old co-star in the upcoming "Ask The Dust," said she was surprised when he burst into her hotel room demanding sex. She said it was "deeply inappropriate," but he kept saying, "The reason you won't do it is because your body isn't as good as when you were young, isn't it?...I don't care about that." She told him she was the same weight, "but it's all distributed in a different way," and spent 2-1/2 hours saying no. But she said the attempted seduction did help her blissfully sail through her 70th birthday.

  • She and Ashton Kutcher had a great laugh about it, in bed.
  • She couldn't stop picturing the full frontal nudity.
  • Sweet talk obviously has no effect on her.
  • He was researching the role of Alexander the Great and wanted to conquer something ancient.
  • Cher said she'd do him.

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