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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Anna Kournikova update:

The daughter-in-law of fashion designer Luciano Benetton sued Penthouse Magazine on Monday for publishing unauthorized photographs of her sunbathing topless while allegedly misidentifying her as Russian tennis star Anna Kournikova. Judith Soltesz-Benetton, 28, sued Penthouse's parent company General Media Communications for damages of more than $10 million. The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, also seeks a court order recalling the 1.2 million copies of the June issue of the men's magazine. In a hearing later in the day, U.S. District Judge Denny Chin barred the magazine from posting the photographs on its Internet Web site as had been scheduled for Friday. He also ordered that no further copies of the magazine be distributed before a hearing next week. (full story)

ESPN further reported that the pictures are seven years old, at which time Anna would have been 13 or 14. (full story)

 

Hey, Scoop ...

Hey Scoop, just wanted to pass on a potential heads-up for vidcappers out there. Nancy Ann Sakovich (the redhot babe from PsiFactor) has been added to the Queer as Folks cast and they seem to be teasing some future potential lesbian loving. Nice lesbian scenes with Nancy Ann would be delectable and very worth capping.
 

Hey junior-  There was an accident at a large collegiate cheerleading competition a week ago.  Early in a routine one of the cheerleader's top became untied and fell completely to her waist.  Not wanting to ruin her team's chances (supposedly they won!) with boobs a-flying she continued with the routine to its conclusion two minutes later.  There must be some home video or pics of this event out there somewhere.  How about asking the readers?

Here's a strange one from my mailbox about those alleged Kirstie Alley pictures:

"When these pictures came out, I e-mailed the Fake Detective a joke about these scenes coming from Santa Monica's Odyssey Theater and a production of Bertholdt Brecht's 'The Rise And Fall Of The City Of Mahagonny". Being kind of baked at the time, I didn't realize that not everybody was a theater student and would realize that it was, alas, a very weak joke. Anyway ... 'The Rise And Fall Of The City Of Mahagonny' is the last play where you'd see somebody either nude or wearing a bright striped jacket. It is a grim tragedy about crime among Brecht's untermenchen somewhat akin to Gorki's 'The Lower Depths'"

Scoop's notes:

I get some odd letters filled with bizarre claims and misinformation. I almost fell for this one, but I started to get curious.

I noticed that he misspelled Bertolt and this got me to thinking about whether the author might really be a theater major as he claimed or might be trying to put me on the way he claims he put Fake Detective on. I started to research the play and BINGO! Turns out it's a "Laszlo Toth letter".

I knew a bit about Brecht, but wasn't familiar with this particular play. Since I didn't 'get' the joke,  I looked "Mahagonny" up and found that this scene very well could be from that play. Here is an example from the review of the 1998 Salzburg presentation, a filmed version of which is available from amazon.com:

"A new production of the Kurt Weill/ Bertolt Brecht opera that depicts the consumerism of the mythical city of Mahagonny, conveying all of its ripe decadence. In this sumptuous Salzburg Festival production, Mahagonny is presented as a Hollywood Babylon full of pyramidal towers, carved elephants, commodified sex, and licensed gluttony. Warning: there's ample female nudity in the brothel scene (though entirely in keeping with Weill and Brecht's conception)."

That Salzberg Opera presentation was not an outre interpretation. I found several more reviews online, all of different productions, and many indicated that there was nudity or simulated nudity. (Simulated? One director used painted cardboard naked women as a backdrop to clothed actors, for example).

As for the comical striped costuming and tone, one of the reviews (SF Opera) began a section with this phrase

"Presumably playing up the satirical and farcical cabaret character of the piece ..."

In other words, it is completely plausible that the pictures could be from that play. Of course, I'm not saying that they are. I don't know if that is Kirstie Alley in the pictures.  I don't know if Fake Detective's labeling is correct, but there is no evidence or logic to rule it out based solely upon the nature of this play. An attack on the excesses of capitalistic consumerism, this play was written for garish 1920's pimp suits and hookers. Many interpretations have included nudity. In other words, everything we see in the pictures!

 

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
Tuna

"Not Another Teen Movie"

Not Another Teen Movie (2001) was covered by Scoop a few days ago (see the link above). I agree with everything he said -- it was crude but fun, and spoofed nearly every teen film I know. The influence from Animal House, American Pie, Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Cruel Intentions and Varsity Blues was especially strong. For once the MPAA made my day with the following:

R: Strong crude sexual content and humor, language and some drug content.

I ask you, have you ever seen a more attractive review? Notice in the last image of Cerina VIncent that she is wearing a crotch patch, but you don't see it at all from the rear. There are too many funny scenes to even cover the highlights. The DVD is chuck full of special features, including a teen movie quiz. My result? I watch too many teen movies and need to get a life. I guess your enjoyment of film will depend on how much you enjoy teen movies and spoofs, and is a strong C.

 

 

"To Gillian on her 37th Birthday"

To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday (1996), as Scoopy mentioned, has no actual exposure, but does show a young Claire Danes in a thong bikini, along with Laurie Fortier. I would have probably passed on this estrogen-centric film, except that Danes is at the top of the entertainment news today. Seems she had taken a break from acting to attend Yale, and her public recognition had fallen below mine. Until now.

Terminator 3 scrapped three weeks of shooting, and replaced Sophia Bush as the female lead, saying that the dailies showed Bush was totally wrong for the part. Danes, partially on the advice of her agent, will play the juicy role, and will take her senior year sometime after the $200M budgeted film.

So, here is Danes' backside, which is the best thing about this rather weepy and over-sentimental film with extraneous characters, and poor characterizations from all but Danes. If you are forced to watch it by your significant other, you will survive, but don't rent it for half time at your poker game with the guys. C-.
 

  • Thumbnails
  • Claire Danes ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 )
  • Laurie Fortier ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 )

    • Graphic Response

    • Salma Hayek in "Desperado". Salma has been seen about town recently with Edward Norton. I think this is a good thing, because Norton is a respected force in the town, which may mean more work for Salma, and she needs to get those things out some more before gravity takes hold. I've never understood why Hollywood keeps looking for a Latina bombshell when Salma has always been there, right under their noses, with her perfectly rounded body and her beautiful face. Unfortunately, the clock is ticking for her. She's 35, and if she doesn't get 'em out soon, we may never see 'em again.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    TomKru

    The Polish Prince is back with some of his favorite actresses.

     

    I get the feeling that Tom may like Corinne Clery, as he continues his documentation of her career.

    • Here she is in Love by Appointment (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

     

    I think he likes Ornella Muti as well

    • Ornella in Tatiana (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
    • Ornella in The Sensuous Sicilian (1, 2, 3)

    Raja

    Non-nudes, but great captures. Comments and pics by Raja.

    Nicholle Tom from Unwed Father.  Best known as a guest on 90210.  Also sister of sudster Heather Tom.

    Clara Bryant in Tru Confessions.  Cute little Disney movie.  Best known for her role in L Amante Perduto where she plays an Israeli who tries to solve the mideast crisis by bedding a Palestinian.

    Dina Spybey in Greg the Bunny.  Was a stripper in the cinematic classic "Striptease."

    Chyler Leigh in That 80s Show.  Yeah, I hate the hair too, but she's still pretty hot!

    Chelan Simmons on Smallville.  Hasn't done anything of note really, but hopefully we'll be seeing more of her

    Valerie Bertinelli from Night Sins

    and Ari Meyers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) in a host of bad tv  movies ( Killing Secret, Family Blessing, Unwed Father).  Condolences to  myself for watching this dreck on lifetime and lifetime movies.
     
    TallPaul
    Dear Uncle Scoopy,

    Greetings from a (fairly) new subscriber.  I hope I am following the right protocols in sending you this, and if I'm not, I hope you'll tell me.
    The other evening I recorded a movie called "Mascara" (1999 film, not to be confused with the 1987 film by the same name), featuring Amanda de Cadenet,  Ione Skye, and Lumi Cavazos.  They play three 30-ish friends who obsess with each other about their relationship woes.  I fast-forwarded through too much of it to give any kind of a review, but I report it here because it has very nice breasts and buns scenes with both de Cadenet and Skye (two scenes each).  I've attached a couple of vidcaps that I made.

    The movie showed on The Movie Channel Xtra, and shows again at 2:00 AM (ET) on Thursday May 23.

    Scoop's note: TallPaul is going for "Rookie of the Year". These aren't bad at all, and I don't believe I've seen these scenes before, so it's a great tip. The film is not yet on DVD, to my knowledge.
     

    DeVo

    Dann

    Various women in Friends and Lovers

    Nicnac

    HBS

    Hankster

    Scoop, Guess what , Lana Clarkson's back in "Barbarian Queen 2". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11,12 )First some scenes of Lana in a little sword play in a skimpy outfit, and then its back to the rack once again, at the hands of another evil villain.

    Variety
    Honey Smax (1, 2)

    		 One of the few actresses who are part of a balanced breakfast. Also known as Honey Lauren, the buxom tootsie is seen here in "Satan was a Lady" which, lacking any knowledge of the film, I presume to be a Mariah Carey biopic.
    Sarah Chalke in "Scrubs"

    Pat Reeder (www.comedy-wire.com)
    Pat's words in yellow:
     

    From Ananova.  Again with the pole in the bedroom.  Do women really like pretending to be strippers that much, or does having a pole in the bedroom just help them fantasize that their husbands are firemen?...

    Angelina gets pole installed for dancing ambition.

    Angelina Jolie is reportedly having a pole erected in her bedroom to fulfill her pole dancing ambitions. She says pole dancing is on her top 10 list of things to do, as well as walking around topless, according to reports. The 26-year-old said: "Nothing is as sexy as the pole will be. I'm sure that I will experiment with it. I'm really excited." The Daily Record quotes her as also saying she wants to be able to walk around half-naked.

     Jolie is currently starring in Life Or Something Like It, which has just been released in the US.


    And from IMDB News, Pam will wear denim shorts and a bra top to her wedding to Kid Rock.  But the shorts and bra will be white, since it is a formal wedding...

    Pamela Anderson's Unusual Wedding Attire

    Pamela Anderson will wear denim shorts and a skimpy bra-top for her wedding to American singer Kid Rock. The rap-rocker will don a tasteful leopard-skin vest, leather trousers and a felt hat for the ceremony. The bridesmaids will be in mini-skirts and crop tops, and the best man will sport an 'Up With Marijuana' T-shirt. Rock proposed to his former Baywatch babe beau last month.

    Check this out.  Interesting story about the backstage machinations involved in creating a pop star.  I'd just send it, but you'll want to see
    the picture of Kylie Minogue.


    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2002/05/07/npete07.xml&sSheet=/news/2002/05/07/ixhome.html

    gossip from Wayne Davis

    RUMOR: JULIA ROBERTS STRIPS FOR ART-HOUSE FLICK


    Hollywood star JULIA ROBERTS is set to bare all on screen after swearing she'd never appear naked in a film again.  She will strip for a movie called FULL FRONTAL, an arthouse film in which she will not use a body double. 


    One veteran Hollywood observer says, "As the film is an 'arthouse' movie, the nude scene is far more acceptable. It can be argued it is art rather than a commercial tease designed just to pull in fans.   "So Roberts can feel she is doing it with integrity. Of course, in her position she can do exactly what she wants and it's unlikely she felt uncomfortable with it."

    The movie is directed by ERIN BROCKOVICH film maker STEVEN SODERBERGH and will cost just $1.6 million (£1.2 million) to make, a tiny sum by Hollywood standards. (BRC/WNTEX/CPT)

    Scoop says: "The rumor has been circulating for a while, and I truly hope it is true. But I'm not counting my chickens."