The Dirty Mind Of Young Sally (1970) is on the latest DVD from Something Weird Video, and is the best thing they have released this year. Two women emerged as stars from the Cordova Street bandits, despite the producers and directors best efforts to keep that from happening. The idea was that if they got too popular and famous, they would be hard to get for your film, and would expect more money. The two who were able to use exploitation soft core as stepping stones to a big career were Renee Bond, who went on to a long hard core career, and Sharon Kelly. This is Sharon Kelly's signature performance, and must have 10 minutes of gorgeous full-frontal showing off her flaming red bush. Her 70+ roles include porn classics, such as Talk Dirty to Me 3, Taboo V and Animal in Me, but she is best known for her work in Alice Goodbody ("Who do I have to fuck to get out of this movie?") and The Boob Tube.

In this film, she hosts a pirate radio sex show 3 times a day, supposedly to raise money for someone to have a kidney transplant. The cops are after her, and people all over town are getting off to her broadcasts. Things heat up when she starts having live sex on the air. As previously mentioned, she shows everything several times. Several unknowns also expose everything they have, including some gyno shots. The film was directed by our old friend Bethal G Buckalew, and was produced by Harry Novak. It is currently rated 8.3 at IMDb, but based on only 5 votes. My vote will raise the average. The transfer is top notch, the sex scenes sizzle and I can't believe how much beaver and pickle Harry got into a film in 1970. While I couldn't detect a single frame proving penetration, I am not convinced all of the orgasms were simulated. Unfortunately, by our scoring system, I can't give this film more than a C+, but this has become one of my three favorite Something Weird releases, joining The Erotic Adventures of Zorro and Bluebeard. The DVD also includes another feature starring Sharon Kelly, and an erotic short from the same era that includes full frontal. Watch for those soon.

Cross My Heart (1987) .wmv clips

If you're into Annette O'Toole, erstwhile Lana Lang from Superman III, this is about the only time in her career she did a sex scene with any nudity (she also did the topless swimming pool scene in Cat People), so this should be a treat because this film has never made it to DVD and this is quite a respectable VHS capture. (1, 2, 3, 4)

Chatting with PAL:

I don't know if you people noticed, but the imager PAL made a spectacular upgrade in his images a few months back. He was always good, but suddenly he was doing the very best non-DVD caps in the world. His TV captures look as good as anyone's DVD caps. I asked him what he is doing different:

"First I changed my method of recording. I used to use a VCR from TV. That meant a lot of quality loss. Now I'm using a "d-box" which you need in Germany to receive pay TV. You can use this box in a network and record movies in their original mpeg2 size to your computer, using a LAN.

The other thing is that one day I was tired putting one frame to another and started this seamless work."

Bravo!

Chatting with Charlie:

Moving over to France, Charlie wrote in to say that he has studied the controversial Twentynine Palms extensively, and he disputes my conclusion that the sex scenes are real.

"I don't think the "obviously real sex scene" is real:

 

1) the actors could hardly act together during the shooting; it's difficult to figure they could have fucked together

2) if the sex had been real, Dumont, the director, would have shown it. He did it before.

3) I made an extensive frame by frame analysis from the DVD, adjusting level, contrast and luminosity, and my call is that it is fake.

 

PS: I am amongst the vast majority who thinks this movie is a total fraud (and I had to watch it twice: once in a theatre and once to make caps!)"

I suppose Charlie is right. I have to defer to his work, because he has studied this film, and I have not. I will spend some time on it in a week or so.
 

OTHER CRAP:

• New York Post reviews the gossipy Manhattanite book, The Right Address: "'The last thing you need is a vagina the size of the Midtown Tunnel.' "
• Lessons from Warren Buffett - extraordinarily straightforward responses from the old master.
• Van Helsing reviewed by The Filthy Critic: I don't think he liked it.
  • "Van Helsing is the kind of movie that people who hate movies make. It's not a good movie, it's not even a bad one that somebody cares about. It's just a steaming pile of shit, a mass-marketing stunt dressed up like entertainment"
  • "In a movie that's a decathlon of bad acting and worse accents, Beckinsale can out pole-vault, run, shotput and triple-jump the very worst this movie can throw up. She's fucking awful. As is the rest of the cast. This is community theater quality crap."
• FilmJerk.com - The Early Report for May 9, 2004
• The trailer for the Dutch film, Twin Sisters
• Stand-up legend Alan King Dies at Age 76
• Cheney says: "Donald Rumsfeld is the best secretary of defense the United States has ever had"
• The teaser/trailer for Seed of Chucky!
• Weekend Box Office May 7-9, 2004. Amazing - box is way up from last week and way up from last year, and the critically reviled Van Helsing grossed more than all other films added together!
• Pope says war and poverty are bad, peace and prosperity good. Wow, electrifying insights! No wonder they made him Pope.
• SHOCK! Nancy Reagan calls for stem cell research.
• Playmate Gallery - Gillian Bonner, April, 1996 - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Four free vids from Playboy's Twins & Sisters!
• Nostalgia/Trivia: The "Leave It to Beaver" Board Game
• The 100 Worst Porn Movie Titles !
• WTF?? Kerry Wants Depp as Vice President . The article originally came from TheSpoof.com. I honestly don't know if this "legitimate" newspaper site realizes that it is a satire. They seem to take it seriously.
• The Death Star - what the hell is a hypernova?
• Still need a present for your Mom? I'll bet she'd appreciate The Island of Skorpios.
• The Kremlin-backed president of Russia's warring Chechnya region and a top Russian general were killed Sunday when an explosion tore through a stadium in the Chechen capital where they were attending Victory Day observances.
• The trailer for Sergio Arau's A Day Without a Mexican: "One morning, California wakes up to find that one third of its population has disappeared. A strange thick pink fog surrouncs the state and communication outside its boundaries is completely cut off. As the day goes by, we discover that the characteristic that links the 14 million disappeared is their Hispanic background. The economic, political and social implications of this disaster threaten the state's way of life. Suddenly disrupted are the lives of Mary Jo Quintana, teacher and housewife; Senator Abercrombie, hastily promoted to Governor; Louise McClaire, ranch owner and agribusiness rep; and Lila Rodriguez, reporter and apparently the only Latina left behind. For all of them, the cracks in their private lives are forced wide open. As time goes by, the State continues to deteriorate - garbage has taken over the streets and a mood of desperation pervades as the citizens watch the infrastructure start to crumble."

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Up above, you saw a good nude scene from Cross My Heart which has never made it to DVD. Here are three more: Surviving Picasso, Opposing Force, and Modern Romance.

Opposing Force (1986)

Another example of typical mandatory mid-80s nudity. Lisa Eichhorn tries to fit in as the only woman in an elite special forces unit. I never really liked this movie.

• Lisa Eichhorn  (.avi, .wmv)

• Lisa Eichhorn  (.avi, .wmv)

• Lisa Eichhorn  (.avi, .wmv)

Their one and only

At least  Annette O'Toole and Lisa Eichhorn have done some nudity in other films which are on DVD (Cat People and Cutter's Way, respectively). No meaningful nudity from the following two actresses has made it to disk at all.

• Natascha McElhone in Surviving Picasso. As far as I know, this is her only nude scene where anything can be seen clearly (she did a really dark rear nude scene in Solaris), but she wasn't shy in this one  (.avi, .wmv)

• The incredibly sexy Kathryn Harrold did very little nudity (Pity! Jeez, did she look good in skimpy underwear in Heartbreakers). I think, this brief clip from Modern Romance is it. Sigh. (.avi, .wmv)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

"Solid Cover" (2000)
Over-produced low budget action movie with a no-name cast with the exception of the lead Danielle House. Danielle House was the 1996 Miss Canada who created a scandal when she got into a catfight in a bar and got convicted for criminal assault.

She lost her crown over this and soon took an offer to pose for hefmag where she posed with boxing gloves on the cover and did a full beaver spread for the pictorial. She however shows very little for this movie and hasn't done any other movies since.

• Danielle House: partial boob in very dark love scene.
• Holly Hollingsworth: full frontal robohooters.
• Shannon Sharpe: full frontal robohooters.
• Sylvia Berliner: topless, lesbian scene with Danielle.
• Helen Hawkins: topless.
• Glenda Tangen: cleavage only.

"The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love"
The title pretty much explains this unusual 1995 romance. Two young women of different socio-economic backgrounds fall in love in this unconventional coming-of-age story.

I'm personally not a big fan of gay/lesbian stories but this was well done and tastefully presented, so if the subject matter is interesting to you, this is definitely worth watching.

• Nicole Ari Parker & Laurel Holloman

• Deirdre Imershein topless in a love scene with "The Dragon" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
• Deirdre Imershein .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

• Mia Ruiz, also topless. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Mia Ruiz .wmv

Next up, here's a nice follow up to the May 8th Fun House update.....wmvs of Ashley Judd and Mira Sorvino showing skin in scenes from the made for cable movie, "Norma Jean & Marilyn" (1996).

• Ashley Judd is topless in all of these clips and shows brief bum and pube views in vids 1-3. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Mira Sorvino shows great cleavage in #1 and is topless in #2. (1, 2)

"The Skulls 2"
The brief nudity in The Skulls 2 is from Margot Gagnon with cleavage from Ashley Lyn Cafagna and Lindy Booth.

• Margot Gagnon
• Ashley Lyn Cafagna (1, 2, 3)
• Lindy Booth

"How to Make an American Quilt"
We see almost all of Joanna Going in How to Make an American Quilt and Samantha Mathis is down to her underwear.

• Joanna Going (1, 2, 3)
• Samantha Mathis (1, 2)

"Clueless"
No nudity in Clueless but there's a brief upskirt by Alicia Silverstone.

• Alicia Silverstone (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"LAPD : To Protect and Serve"
Plenty of silicone-enhanced breasts in LAPD : To Protect and Serve by Kiara Hunter and some unknown actresses.

• Kiara Hunter (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Unknown

"Savage Messiah"
Almost full nudity in Savage Messiah by an unnamed actress.

• Unknown

"In the Eyes of a Stranger"
Plenty of cleavage by Justine Bateman in In the Eyes of a Stranger.

• Justine Bateman

"The Stickup"
No nudity in The Stickup but we do see Leslie Stefanson in her underwear.

• Leslie Stefanson (1, 2, 3, 4)

"Carry On at Your Convenience"
It's the same again with Jacki Piper in Carry On at Your Convenience.

• Jacki Piper

Lindsay Lohan edits
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)