Stripteaser II (1997) is not a sequel, and has little or nothing to do with Stripteaser. Lets get the plot out of the way first. Here is the detailed plot summary. A man follows his runaway sister to LA, works as a cabbie, and hangs out in the same strip club every night looking for her. He is eventually told she is dead.

Now that that is out of the way, we have strip scenes, recycled footage of strip scenes from other movies, a recycled chase scene, and a sex scene with Kim Dawson as the strip club manager. She goes a three B performance, but the rest of the women keep their T-Backs on, including, Taylor St. Claire, Kiva, Maria Ford, Lisa Ann Brown and Stacy Leigh Mobley. IMDb readers have this at 2.1 of 10. Even with all of the recycled footage, the struggled to fill the 77 minute running time. This is an E-.

Dear Wendy: (2005)

Alison Pill was the all-too-perfect younger sister in Pieces of April, now quite grown up and flashing the goodies in the new film from Thomas Vinterberg and Lars von Trier. This film was shown at Sundance and will get a (presumably limited) USA release in late September. I haven't watched the DVD screener all the way through, and I may not, since I've found that I don't actually have to watch Lars von Trier movies. If I  know the von Trier wrote them, and read a general summary, I can mentally recreate them in a few minutes with about 99% accuracy.

But who knows? Maybe he'll fool me some day and express a thought in a complex and nuanced way.

• Alison Pill
• IMDb

• Trailer from the movie

• Thorough plot summary from efilmcritic.com

Other Crap:

• Here is the first eight minutes of H
  • "Shin Hyun (Seung-woo Cho) walks into the local police station toting the mutilated bodies of six missing women, confesses to the murders and accepts his fate. A psychopathic serial killer is caught and the case closed. Or is it? One year later, the bodies of two high school girls and a pregnant woman are discovered, killed in the same manner. Believed to be a copy-cat crime, detectives Kim Mi Yun (Jung-ah Yum, A Tale of Two Sisters) and Kang Tae Hyun (Jin-hee Ji), polar opposites both professionally and personally, are assigned to the case. As the investigation continues, new suspects are taken into custody, but the body count continues to rise. It soon seems that no one, not even the detectives themselves, are beyond suspicion."
• The trailer for Cry Wolf
• The trailer for Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
• A new featurette about the making of The War of the Worlds
• Celebrity Afterlife Report from the Celebrity Medium
• Teaching evolution leads to inflation. Not to mention "hard rock"
• Miller Time - Dennis's talk show has been pulled because of low ratings
• Aging actress calls Hollywood barbaric. Charlotte Rampling said Hollywood executives practice a form of racism when they sidestep veteran actresses for youthful leading ladies. I don't remember her protesting this very vigorously when she was a youthful leading lady.
• MIT hosts a convention for time travelers. Unfortunately, none showed.
• Two very good international trailers for Batman Begins. This isn't quite what I was expecting, but ... maybe ...
• MPAA targets TV download bittorrent sites
• DEAD MEAT- a horror movie starring Ron Jeremy
• List of U.S. Presidential nicknames Which President was known as the "Last of the Cocked Hats"? How about "Young Hickory of the Granite Hills"?
• Chris Tucker has pleaded guilty to speeding and eluding police - he didn't hear their sirens because he was driving 200 miles "on his way to church." Tucker was driving a Bentley at 109 mph on Interstate 20.
• The Daily Show: North Korea has the capacity for five or six nuclear weapons. Ya know, half dozenish
• Kathleen Turner talks to Jon Stewart about her starring role in the Broadway revival of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
• Pencil Carving
• Lindsay Lohan - slight see-through, but nothing left to see
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes sing "Candy Shop"
• Separated at Birth: Spencer Abraham and Shrek
• Lindsay Lohan to appear on 'SNL' again, this time without the breasts.
  • I think she used to look adorable with her round body and full peaches 'n cream face. I don't like this "sophisticated" new look which screams "Paris Hilton wannabe."
• Five worst things to say during a job interview
• Paris Hilton faces off with George W Bush
• The trailer for Must Love Dogs, a romantic comedy with Diane Lane and John Cusack.
• Shakeskin.com - a gallery of shaken faces
• Headline of the day. Vaginal Cream May Be Harmful For Face. I wondered why Colin Farrell was lookin' so weird lately.
• Mariner's outfielder gets lost trying to take a subway to Yankee Stadium. He took the D train south instead of north, and ended up close to Coney Island.
• ESPN.com Page 2 : NFL coaches are well suited
• FemDefence - anti-rape device
• Superhero protects single women fom predatory males.
  • "I protect the single gal living in the big city. I protect average females from making mistakes they will regret in the morning. I protect them from the men who would seduce them with lies or with drinks. I protect them from going home with men who would hurt them emotionally or physically."
  • Additional reading: ABC's story on Terrifica
• Will the New Orleans Saints move to San Antonio?
• Tampa Bay Bucs owner makes monster bid to take over Manchester United
• A Ludhiana guy sends 6,000 text messages per day. And he hopes to increase it to 10,000. He is making the best out of Airtel's scheme of unlimited SMS.
• Feds use devices which can smell cash. They should contact my freeloading Uncle Max. That guy can always tell if you are lying when you say "I don't have any money on me right now."
• Georgia city deluged with advice on handling runaway bride
• "Following an ancient Huron tradition, Avner said he is changing himself into his totem of a tiger."
  • I wonder how many tigers the ancient Hurons encountered in Ontario.
  • This guy should thank his lucky stars that his parents didn't name him after a Porcupine
  • "There's not much demand in San Diego County for a computer and electronics technician with tattooed stripes on his face and fangs in his mouth. That's one reason why Avner is moving to Washington state."
  • Yeah, because there is a big demand for those things in Seattle.
• People in Henderson N.C. are talking about the massive sculpture of a woman's legs, spread open on Welcome Avenue. They are demanding to get back the old closed legs from Rag Street.
• White House wants oil price at $25 a barrel, rivers full of scrumptious milk chocolate, and marmalade skies.
• Way Too Much Information On: The Kool-Aid Man!!!
• Mucho cool: Cassini Finds New Saturn Moon That Makes Waves in the Rings!
• Loss of productivity from workers playing hooky to see 'Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith,' could cost employers as much as $627 million, according to the Federal Bureau of Imaginary Numbers Pulled From Our Ass. This is still far short of the imaginary record held by Matrix 2, which cost America a "zillion-jillion" dollars plus 93.72% of the nation's annual wheat crop.
• Sad follow-up. Human breast-fed tiger cubs die of dehydration.
• Dennis Rodman's life is on the rebound - for a THIRD autobiography. "Yo, how many volumes did that little bulldog-lookin' English guy write?" The Worm just inked a deal for his third memoir, this time covering his life from 1998 to the present, "The Post-Electra Era"
• Bill Clinton tells Democrats they are a bunch of whiny pussies.
• Official Transcript of Closed Door Meeting Between President Bush and Totally-Bestest-Pal-Who's-Not-Just-A-KGB-Hatchet-Man President Vladimir Pooty-Poot - (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
• Swingin' Chicks of the '60s
• Is it possible to recall past lives through hypnosis?
  • Yes. I know this from personal experience. As I have pointed out many times, I have clear memories of my life as an Aztec warrior. As you may know, the Aztecs would cut out the hearts of the winners of their annual games and sacrifice them to the gods. This was necessary because those gods wanted hearts and would only accept the best ones. I still hold the Aztec record for having finished second in the games 21 consecutive years, including one year when I blew a 30 yard lead in the 100 yard dash. After that race I told the reporter from the Aztec Times that I was going to train extra hard next year so that I would be the lucky one to get my heart cut out. Of course, when he was out of sight, I fired up a Lucky Strike.
• When girls and boys wrestle together.
  • Interesting story. Public schools have girls on their wrestling teams. Religious schools won't let their boys wrestle against them because of the inappropriate touching. (But apparently inappropriate touching of other boys is OK.) Anyway, the parents of the girls are ticked off, although their kid gets the W and accumulates the points toward the state title, while the other wrestler clearly has the right to forfeit if he chooses to. Frankly, I don't see how any harm is done, or how the league could do anything about it ... as the league president says ""I don't care if it's a religious school or not. If a person chooses not to wrestle, they don't have to wrestle."
  • Although, now that I think about it, I think I would approve of a new law which would force boys to wrestle with girls whether they want to or not. That is my kind of law. And then we need one that forces girls to wrestle with other girls whenever the constable so declares. Or better yet, whenever I so declare. Let's start with Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria. (Blows whistle)
• The Real Gilligan's Island - Pie Fight between Ginger and Mary Ann - director's cut.
• FIRST LOOK: Woody Allen's 'Match Point' and Penelope Cruz in 'Chromophobia'
• Lots and lots of Star Wars parodies and funnies.
• Traditional healer burnt by goblins
  • As most of you know, tsikamutanda healers can get rid of witches and tikoloshis, but are powerless against goblins! This is why I gave up my career as a tsikamutanda. Well, that and the fact that I didn't know how to pronounce tsikamutanda. Well, and also the fact that there isn't really much tsikamutanda work available in Central Texas. I would have had to move to Lubbock or Baton Rouge to establish a decent tsikamutanda practice. And there is really no sense in leaving Texas for Louisiana because their voodoo licensing exams are impossible to pass. Anyway, my motivations aren't important. The key point is that the career change to webmaster reduced my goblin burns by nearly 65%, and had a comparably salubrious impact on my corns and bunions as well!
• The trailer and a clip from Lila Says
  • "Lila Says" is based on a book that caused much controversy in France. Nineteen-year-old quiet poet Chimo (Mohammed Khouas) falls for Lila (Vahina Giacante), a gorgeous, blonde girl who just moved in with her creepy aunt in an Arab ghetto. One day Lila asks Chimo to look up her skirt -- if he can handle it. Meanwhile, Mouloud (Karim Benhadou), the loud leader of a rival gang, also sets his sights on Lila. Their game of sexual discovery leads to an unexpected look at tolerance, self-hatred, and machismo. It also questions the fantasy that permeates the film with fun and danger.
• The trailer for Bunty Aur Babli, a romantic Bollywood musical.
• The trailer for The Alzheimer Case
  • In "The Alzheimer Case," a creative and visually innovative Belgian noir thriller, aging gun-for-hire Angelo Ledda (Jan Decleir) takes justice into his own hands when he is pushed to the edge by the corruption that surrounds him. Director Erik Van Looy audaciously takes the cliché of the hit man's last job and turns it into a complex psychological drama with a twist. Here the hit man is plagued by the onset of Alzheimer's disease and retribution becomes a race against time as he drifts toward psychic dissolution.
• Five clips from Unleashed, the new Jet Li movie
• Three clips from Saving Face
  • "For 28-year old New Yorker Wilhelmina "Wil" Pang (Michelle Krusiec), life is a juggling act between a promising career as a surgeon and her responsibilities as a dutiful daughter. Like the #7 train she takes to visit her Chinese family on a weekly basis, Wil is perpetually in transit between two worlds. The expectations of the Flushing, Queens society she is from and the desires that alienate her from it have made Wil content to live below the surface -- even if it means playing an inadvertent game of charades with her widowed mother (Joan Chen) and the old world Ma represents. The masquerade is comic even in its pain as Wil tolerates Ma's weekly set ups with eligible Chinese-American boys at the Friday Chinese socials; but it quickly becomes a farce when Ma's mask cracks first. One night, Wil comes home to find Ma on her doorstep - pregnant. Disgraced by the Chinese community, and with nowhere else to go, Ma moves in with her daughter, making it difficult for Wil to nurture a budding relationship with gorgeous dancer Vivian (Lynn Chen). As her carefully compartmentalized worlds collide, Wil is forced to find her mother a husband, placate her girlfriend, and choose between breaking a cycle of keeping up appearances, or risk losing the girl she loves. "Saving Face" is a romantic comedy about a daughter struggling to understand her mother's heart, which ultimately allows her to understand her own. It is the story of unspoken loves, contemporary and cultural taboos, and the journey of two women towards living their lives honestly."
• A preview, two featurettes, and a clip from the much-ballyhooed skateboard movie, Lords of Dogtown
• A behiond-the-scenes clip from Ten 'til Noon
  • "In ten minutes, everything can change. For these ten people, it will. A jet-lagged Larry Taylor awakens to find two strangers in his bedroom, and over the next ten minutes, will experience the most terrifying - and possibly final - moments of his life. But who these strangers are, and whay they want, can only be determined by events occuring elsewhere, and at the same time. We relive those same ten minutes through the eyes of those connected to what is not a simple home invasion, and with each person, find ourselves propelled closer to the truth."
• Richard and Robert Sherman are the authors of the most-played song on Earth, and for that they would like to apologize
• Viking running back caught with the 'Original Whizzinator'. Silly me. I thought Mickey Rourke was the Original Whizzinator.
• You think you have a silly name? Be thankful you're not Gaye Males
• Well-hung fish get the girls, but die young
• What makes you think she's a witch, Mr President? "She turned me into a Newt."

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

In the meantime...Email Scoopy Jr. if suggestions for future polls.

Here are the results of our previous polls:
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
Best Lesbian Love Scenes

• Bai Ling, showing a bit of nipple as her dress falls down a bit. It was recently reported that the exotic beauty's scenes in "Revenge of the Sith" ended up on the cutting room floor. Not worry Ling fans...she made up for it by posing for the Hef-mag!

• Claire Forlani, the "Mallrats" star (and a personal favorite of both Scoops) doing a little topless sunbathing.

• Jennifer Garner, the "Alias" star and other half of "Bennifer 2". Here she is showing some partial breasts views. As most every one knows by now, Garner and Ben Affleck are engaged and the buzz is that Ben knocked her up.

• Jessica Alba....Alba-licious. bikini pics.

• Michelle Rodriguez. The "SWAT" and "Fast and the Furious" co-star looking gorgeous on the red carpet. (1, 2)

• Pam Anderson, doing her usual cleavage thing.

• Paris Hilton hot tubbin' in a pink bikini.

• "Charmed" star Rose McGowan stuffing her big'uns into a tight top. She recently portrayed Ann-Margret in the CBS mini-series "Elvis".

"Art Heist"
Whatever mystery there is in this 2004 action/mystery flick, it certainly isn't the plot; the title tells it all.

An international art expert is sent to Spain by her client when his rare painting, on loan to the Barcelona Museum, is stolen. When she actually witnesses part of a theft, becomes involved in a chase, and is injured, her over-protective New York detective estranged husband follows. Already unhappy that she has endangered her life, he becomes even less happy to discover she has met up with another art expert who also happens to be an ex-suitor.

Some neat car and motorcycle chases, and some pretty cool theft executions make this a fun movie to watch, but the plot is pretty predictable as is the ending.

The scene with the very beautiful Rachel Laure, playing the daughter of a wealthy art owner, should make a good clip, because while she is being seduced by her boyfriend, who is an accomplice in the theft, the thieves are stealing a painting in the background.

• Rachel Laure

Myriam Nedellec
(1, 2, 3, 4)

Linda Do Sacramento
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

GREAT TV AND MOVIE CUSTOM CARS FOR SALE
How's The Mileage? - Saturday at Petersen Automotive Museum in L.A., custom car king George Barris will auction off 80 of the most famous cars ever. He says investors are skittish about stocks and real estate so they're buying collectibles, and he expects to make up to $4 million. The cars include the Trans Am from "Smoky & The Bandit," the General Lee from "Dukes of Hazzard," Starsky & Hutch's Ford Torino, the Beverly Hillbillies' jalopy, and the "Greased Lightning" hot rod from "Grease." But Barris is keeping his favorite: the 1960s Batmobile.

If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!