Saturday

Tuna
"Commandments"

Commandments (1997) is not an easy film to characterize. It is part black comedy, part investigation of fundamental theological questions, and part romantic comedy. Seth (Aidan Quinn) has lost his pregnant wife (Joanna Going), his house, and his job. He is standing on a rooftop threatening suicide and alternately begging God for reasons. God responds by striking him with a lightening bolt, and, at the same time, injuring his dog. He resolves to break each of the Ten Commandments, one by one, until God comes clean with some answers.

His sister in law (Courteney Cox) moves him in, much to the dismay of her philandering reporter husband (Anthony LaPaglia), who cares more about his collection of vintage guitars than his wife. Quinn starts with simple commandments, but LaPaglia goads him into working against LaPaglia for the more serious ones. Naturally, Cox and Quinn fall in love. So much for the seventh commandment. The film ends on a very biblical note (think Jonah), but I am not sure answers any of the questions it almost asks.

Going shows her right nipple putting on a bathing suite in the beginning of the film, and Cox shows most of her left breast is a dark sex scene. IMDb readers have this at 5.4. The acting is fine, the cinematography is a treat, and there are moments of humor. In the end, I felt like there could have been any of several good films buried in the plot line, but it didn't quite excel at any of them. IT is unique, which is a good thing in and of itself, and has many moments, making it a C-.

  • Thumbnails

  • Courteney Cox (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Joanna Going (1, 2)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Dear Wendy: (2005)

    Here is a (zipped .wmv) film clip of Alison Pill's topless scene in Dear Wendy.

     

    Call Me: The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss (2004)

    This is the biography of the famous Hollywood Madam. It's really more of a docudrama than a story, except that the typical docudrama would be more reliable. This is like a gossip column version of a docudrama. Remember those classic old-time Hollywood pieces which began "which big-time Hollywood producer was seen in the clinches with the gorgeous 18 year old blonde who stars in his new movie"? Those stories always left you guessing about who the hell they were talking about, and many people believed that they often weren't talking about anyone, that some of the stories were entirely fabricated to provide filler on days when there was no worthwhile gossip to print. This movie is like that. Heidi has sex with characters named "rock star" and "Steve the producer".

    Oh well, it aired on the USA Network, so if you were expecting anything better, you need to realign your expectations. I wasn't surprised by the poor quality of the movie, but I was disappointed by the obvious substitution of body doubles for some nude scenes. In addition to being a perfunctory and shallow biopic, Call Me is a rip-off in terms of presentation. I suppose people will watch it and buy the DVD in order to see Meadow Soprano's nude scenes. The character does have several moments of exposed flesh, but it is obviously not Jamie-Lynn Sigler's flesh, except for one brief, blurry nipple seen as the camera pans hastily from her waist to her face. In all other cases, the Fleiss Flesh was provided by a body double. What distinguishes this from any other use of body doubles is the sheer audacious sleaziness of it. There are three cases where the body double's face is clearly visible - and in two of the cases it looks nothing like Sigler! In the third case, it is a very dark sex scene, and the face could be just about anyone in Hollywood, except maybe Paulie Sorvino.

    In addition to the contributions of the Sigler body double, there was some miscellaneous nudity provided by other characters like a blonde call girl and a topless sunbather at a pool party. The most notable exposure came from Emmanuelle Vaugier.

    Although the female nudity is unimpressive even in the unrated DVD, the unexpurgated presentation does provide some full frontal MALE nudity in the sex scene between "rock star" and Fleiss.

    • Jamie-Lynn Sigler (not nude) (1, 2, 3)
    • Sigler film clip (very brief exposure)
    • Sigler body double (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
    • Emmanuelle Vaugier (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) Vaugier is the brunette who is always on Corbin Bersen's left shoulder. (To Bernsen's right as we look at them). The blonde is not identified. The other brunette, who shows nothing, is Sigler.
    • Unknown

     

     

    Team America: World Police (2005)

    As always, Parker and Stone amuse and shock with their provocative comedy and music.

    Review here.

    The only significant change in the "unrated version" of the movie is in the puppet sex scene. In order to get their R rating the boys had to cut out two sex vignettes - one in which the male puppet gives the female a golden shower, another in which the female puppet takes a graphically portrayed shit on the male's face!!

    There are a few other deleted scenes on the DVD, but no commentary by Parker/Stone, and the extra features are mostly about special effects - how the puppet world was brought to life.

     

    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     
    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    Look's like we have a pretty clear winner in our recent "Most Overrated Movie" poll. I have the official winners and commetary posted in the next day or two.


    In the meantime...Email Scoopy Jr. if suggestions for future polls.


    Here are the results of our previous polls:
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
    The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
    Best Lesbian Love Scenes


    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Another batch of assorted video clips from the Ghost today. Zipped .wms as usual.

    • Alex Meneses, the former model turned actress topless in a love scene from an episode of the late night cable series, "Hot Line"" (1, 2, 3)

    • Brandy Ledford topless and gettin' it on in scenes from "Zebra Lounge" (2001), starring Stephen Baldwin and Kristy Swanson. Some folks know Brandy best as a fomer Pet (May '90 and for the year of '92). (1, 2, 3)

    • Linda Gucciardo baring all while doing the deed in scenes from the "Finders Keepers" episode of the Skinemax series "Erotic Confessions" (1, 2)

    • Here is former "West Wing" co-star Moira Kelly topless in two scenes from the 1993 flick "Daybreak" (1, 2)

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Jill the Ripper" (2000)
    Thriller about bondage starring Dolph Lundgren.


    "The Lost Angel" (2004)
    Thriller starring Clint's daughter.


    "Dead Innocent" (1996) aka Eye
    Thriller directed by Sara Botsford.


    "Virgin" (2003)
    Drama about as dumb as it can get.


    Show Me Yours II: episode Best Foot Forward

    Variety
    Sophie Marceau Hot off the presses! Here is the French babe falling out of her dress while on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival yesterday!

    Alison Pill Showing some very lovely toplessness in scenes from the new film from Thomas Vinterberg and Lars von Trier, "Dear Wendy".

    Sharon Stone
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    		Not yet of video....the Skin-man takes a look at Stone going topless in scenes from "A Different Loyalty".

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    "STAR WARS" PARADE COMING TO PARIS
    Don't Expect America To Save You Again - Friday, the premiere of "The Revenge of the Sith" will be marked in Paris with a three-day "Star Wars" convention, including a costume parade through Paris featuring hundreds of Darth Vaders and Imperial Storm Troopers.

  • Jacques Chirac will come out to personally surrender to them.
  • Storm troopers marching through Paris! History repeats itself!
  • It's the most romantic city on Earth, so what else would a bunch of "Star Wars" fans do there?


    $240,000 FOR A USED VW IS NOT ENOUGH
    It Has A Freakin' Moon Roof!! - The German man who got $240,000 (US) for his 1999 VW Golf that once belonged to the new Pope is suing eBay because that's not enough. He claims there were people who wanted to bid more in the closing hours, but the listing attracted so many hits that they were unable to log onto eBay and register. So he had to settle for just $240,000 for a car he'd paid $11,000 for.

  • And after he pays his lawyers, he'll have...$10,000.
  • The Pope would say that he needs to confess his sin of greed.
  • Maybe he can get the buyer to toss in another $100,000 for the undercoating.

    • A quick site note
    Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.

    If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!