Get this for a tagline:
"Meet the beautiful people who live ... and die ...
in a freaky, try-anything world".
You just know it's
going to be some highbrow entertainment.
Is it a new
adaptation of Murder in the Cathedral? No, it's Troma's
"Sugar Cookies."
The star is Lynn Lowry, who plays
both "Alta" and "Julie". Alta is the
"star" of a series of adult movies made by a
producer who is so jaded that simply watching and
screwing his actresses no longer gets his rocks off. He
must completely dominate them. He has Alta play out a
"scene" in which she loads a gun and plays with
it for a while. He asks her for the gun, and she gives it
to him. Mind you now, she just personally loaded it
with real bullets. Then, they talk. He is
dressed, she naked. An excellent conversation starter. He
strokes her with the gun and inserts it in her vagina. An
even better conversation starter, although this one has
also been known to stop conversations. Sometimes
permanently.
Unfortunately, the camera is on the wrong
lips during this conversation. Then he tells her to taste
herself on it. She says it tastes just like chicken. Only
fishy. He sticks the gun the rest of the way into her
mouth and, sentimental fool that he is, blows the back of
her head off. This reminds me of the scene that was cut
from Casablanca, in which Henreid finds out about Bogart
and blows Ingrid Bergman to Kingdom Come, after which he
proposes to scatter her cheatin' remains in all the gin joints in all
the cities in all the world.
Lean and leggy exploitation legend, Mary
Woronov ("Eating Raoul"), plays
Camilla, our producer's assistant, and
another of his favorite lays. It turns out that she and
Alta were also lovers, and that she likes to wear a hat
in the bathtub. She bathes a lot, although chances are
she does not get her hair clean, because her hat stays
on. Then she begins her stretching exercises.
Then a little more stretching. At this point, she's
pretty well stretched out when she is interrupted by a
visit from the producer who has two things on his mind.
First he wants an alibi for the previous night. Second,
well, for rumpy-pumpy.
Camilla
now starts planning her revenge on her heterosexual lover for
killing her lesbian lover. She interviews a whole procession of
aspiring actresses and finds a woman named Julie who looks just like
Alta (not too surprisingly, since she is played by the
same actress, Lynn Lowry). Camilla has to do a great deal
of coaxing and coaching to get Julie out of her clothes,
but finally manages. Then, as she removes the last of
Julie's clothing. Camilla finally gets Julie onto the bed
and starts to rehearse her for a "movie scene"
which is really a re-enactment of Alta's murder. Julie
rebels, so Camilla slaps her around, throws her back down
on the bed, flings her clothes at her and tells her to
get out. Julie apologizes for rebelling, so Camilla
forgives her and decides to take a bath with her, and
they make up. For
Camilla, a bath is just not the same without a big white
hat so, to compensate, she fantasizes about sex with Leon
Redbone. OK, maybe not, maybe they just indulge in a
little lesbian foreplay. This goes on and on. One assumes
they indulge in more than that eventually, but one
doesn't see it.
Camilla
now has Julie completely under her domination, and tells
the movie maker she has a surprise for him: a new girl to
take Alta's place. To show how co-operative Julie is,
Camilla cuts a slit in her skin and inserts a flower stem
in it.
Now it's
time for the re-enactment of Alta's murder. Camilla
undresses Julie, but gives her all kinds of mixed signals
to make her edgy and confused. Poor Julie just doesn't
know where she stands any more, so of course, she shoots
the movie maker, just what any seasoned actor would do in
a scene with mixed signals. Unfortunately for us, she was
not on the set of "Prince of Tides". She is
then horrified by her own action, and begs Camilla to
tell her what to do. Camilla basically shrugs and says:
"Not my problem. I just used you to get back at that
jerk - do whatever you want." Julie is left
distraught.
The director showed some talent, to tell you the
truth, but I'm not sure the concept of "Hitchcock + porn" is one which
stands to join the Combo Hall of Fame with chocolate and peanut butter.
The Hitchcock elements gave the porn an ugly, dark tone. The (soft) porn
scenes sometimes slowed down the plot to a crawl. It's an idea that
probably worked better on paper.
Tuna and others have done this film before, so I
concentrated only on the scenes which really impressed me. The film did
have kind of an art-porn look, ala Radley Metzger.