Night of the Beast

Clips and collages from some rotting driftwood of a movie sometimes called Night of the Beast and sometimes Lukas' Child.  Here are the reasons to nominate it as a bottom ten stinker - 1) The lead actor, an old guy with a few teeth missing, is simply the worst performer in the history of cinema.  How someone can simultaneously underact and overact is a mystery but this guy hits it.  His delivery is either wooden or over-caffeinated, often in quick succession.  Some folks IMDb praise him but that has to be his mom writing the review.  He blows and he is on screen all the fricking time. 2) A bunch of gals show up in one role or another and wind up in lingerie, get to speak a few lines (badly... real badly) as potential victims of a winged humanoid creature called The Child, but they add nothing to the plot.  And they don't get nekkid so they add nothing there either; 3) The police are idiots, with deductive skills akin to those of Officer Barbrady from Southpark, but their stupidity is not played for laughs or irony - it simply must be for the movie to continue.  I hate that crap.  So in the end a few veterans of the Funhouse get down to some level of undress.  Lisa Comshaw does, as one of three women who beds the chief detective, even though they are parts of the investigation.  Toni Alessandini sort of, kind of shows off the hooties in ritual dance of some sort but get this - it is the same performance/dance that showed up a year earlier in a movie entitled Mind, Body and Soul (Tuna's caps are in the Encyclopedia).  Former pornstar Jacqueline St Claire (she is called Jacqueline Gorman in this movie) shows off some T and a little A.  Then there are the one-time-wonders.  Elizabeth Young strips down, talks on the phone and takes a shower, all the while showing off one rockin' bod.  And Jacqueline Moen shows off her mighty-fines while demonstrating her own style o' acting, which incorporates mouth agape with eyes a-bug.  Look out Meryl Streep.

Today's clip: Toni Allesandrini (collages below)