Saturday

Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Updates:

  • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated. This week's update includes some new nudity from actresses known internationally, like Irene Jacob and Romaine Bohringer.

 

Other crap:

 

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Brainscan
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

Everything you need to know about Knockouts (1992):

  • 1) There are three lockerroom scenes with topless babes wandering around;
  • 2) There's a way long strip poker scene, in which all the players are women;
  • 3) There's a calendar-shoot scene in which five women pose topless for maybe 10 minutes;
  • 4) There's a chick-boxing scene that also lasts for 10 minutes;
  • 5) I capped 1-3.

    And then there is the DVD. First off, let me say I looked for the videotape of this mama ever since I saw it on cable the year it was released. So I will sing the praises of he who decided to transfer it to DVD.

    Secondly, there is nothing like a pristine transfer from master to DVD. Nope, nothing like it. And this DVD is nothing like it at all. Someone grabbed a commercial copy of the tape and did the digital thing. That was the transfer process. So sad.

    About the collages: nineteen of them, with eleven women, mostly topless... a little bum.... zero bush.

    Tally Chanel is the main babe of the movie. You should think of Tally as natural selection's first attempt at Cameron Diaz before it nailed that particular model perfectly. This is Tally in her natural state; she would have additional equipment installed at a later date. Five collages of Tally. Hooties throughout, close-up of her marvelous bum in 2. Number 4 is a montage made from a slow pan.

    Tally was a popular gal for five years or so. Made a bunch of titty flicks, posed for the Hefmag and for Penthouse... basically took what nature gave her, buffed it a bit and made hay while the sun shone.

    Should also mention that the '92 release date looks years after the movie was shot; at least in movies made years earlier (e.g. Warrior Queen) Tally's equipment is already enhanced and in her last movie (L. A. Goddess), also released in '92, her equipment is again enhanced.

    • Tally Chanel (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    Okay, second most-exposed babe is Cindy Rome (whose first name is spelled Sindy in the credits); she appears to be a real-life chickboxer. Three collages, mainly of hooters, but also some bum in 1 and 3.

    • Cindy Rome (1, 2, 3)


    Some of the other actresses, who did other work as B-movie babes, are Chona Jason, Leigh Betchley, Michelle Grasnick, Nicole Sassaman, Pamela Ward and Paula Revee. This is a fine mixture of blondes, brunettes and redheads, all of whom show off their upper bodies nicely.


    Then there are three women who gave up goodies in this movie and then faded from public view. They are Diamond Montana, Lucy Adair and Victoria Asaton. You get to see Diamond and Lucy topless and Victoria in a white mesh outfit.


    So in the end you have yourself an unpretentious movie, designed to show nekkid babes and battling beauties, but it looks and feels awfully dated and fails to be entertaining either as a work of erotica or as an exhibition of cat fighting.

    • Scorpion's Skinemax
    Scorpion takes a look at "Desire and Deception".
    • Felony, the hardcore and softcore actress bares all 3 B's and gets it on.

    • Gina Ryder shows off her big old robo-hooters in a couple of sex scenes. (1, 2)

    • Holly Sampson, the new Emmanuelle goes full frontal and shows rear nudity in very well lit scenes. (1, 2)

    • Kelli McCarty, full frontal nudity and plenty of sport humpin'. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Kelli McCarty and Holly Sampson, both full frontal in a 3-way love scene.

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    From the movie "Scandal: On The Other Side"

    One of the Scandal series, this cable-rated flesher tells of the comings, goings, and screwings behind-the-scenes of a couple TV sitcoms, and a movie. Surprisingly, this is one of the better-done of these type of movies I've seen.

    If you like this type of movie, this one is worth your time.

    Helvete
    Isabelle Mergault
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    		Only wearing white undies in scenes from the French comedy "Club de rencontres" (1987).

    Valérie Allain
    (1, 2)

    		Continuing the toplessness/white undies theme with more 'caps from "Club de rencontres". Some folks may remember her from the French language educational series "French in Action". I used to watch this several years ago, but I wasn't tuning in for the language lessons, I was tuning in because Valérie always showed pokied and never wore bras!

    Katrine Boorman Topless in scenes from "Le Bonheur est un mensonge" (1996).

    Louise Szpindel
    (1, 2)

    		Topless and frontal nudity in scenes from "Des épaules solides" (2003).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    BIZARRE AUCTIONS
    That'll Buy A Lot Of Spuds - A man in Bromley, England, put his "annoying girlfriend" up for auction on eBay. He describes her as "slightly overweight," "boring as hell," and someone who "can't/won't/shouldn't be allowed to cook (this may result in poisoning)." He adds that the buyer would get a more varied sex life "from a bag of spuds," and he's forced to sell her "to gain access to the TV." He also warns that "Goods are defective" and that attempts to return her "may result in actual bodily harm." Bidding got up to 10 million pounds ($16 million US) before eBay yanked it.

  • This shows how desperate Internet nerds are to get a girlfriend.
  • Why did they yank it?! It's probably the most honest ad they've ever run!
  • If he thought their sex life was bad BEFORE this...


    Hi, Men! - A 21-year-old college student from Santiago, Chile, is raising money to pay for her college tuition by auctioning off her virginity on a local radio station. She said, "No man has ever touched me," and the winning bidder gets a doctor's certificate to verify that. The opening bid was around $570 (US).

  • That's not much money, but she has no experience.
  • There's also a guy in Bromley, England, who approached her about a trade.
  • If she's heading to college, someone better snap up her virginity now, because it'll be going fast.


    APOCALYPSE POSTPONED TO NEXT THURSDAY
    Nuts In May - You might have noticed that the world didn't end yesterday, which came as a surprise to Japan's Panawave Laboratory cult. For weeks, they've been blocking traffic and draping trees with white sheets to ward off electromagnetic waves and warning that an approaching "10th planet" would destroy Earth on May 16. They expressed no dismay, saying their leader, a woman named Yuno Chino, says the apocalypse has been postponed until next Thursday.

  • What do you know? The white sheets worked!!
  • I've got a thing on Thursday...Could we pencil it in for Friday noonish instead?