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I Want You (1998)
On paper, I Want You has certain thematic and structural
similarities to Atom Egoyan's masterpiece The Sweet Hereafter. Like
Egoyan's film, I Want You includes a strong undercurrent of
father/daughter incest. Like Egoyan's film, I Want You starts with
vague, mysterious plot details and gradually peels away layer after
layer of the mystery. A man arrives in a seacoast town in England
after having been absent for many years. Why did he leave, and why has
he returned? As the script progresses, we find out that he was in
prison, then we find out that he killed someone in that very town.
Another character is introduced. The local hairdresser is not willing
to have sex with her boyfriend. She's not much interested in sex at
all. What caused that?
The mysterious stranger seems to be her ex-boyfriend ... ... and
so forth. I've only scratched the surface of the revelations,
and I've only touched on two of the four main characters. To
reveal any more would spoil the basic mystery, which boils down
to the identity of the murder victim. Even after that is known,
many mysteries remain, and the behavior of some characters seems
inexplicable until all the hole cards have been turned over. As
each character's secrets are revealed, the lives of the
characters seem to get more closely interwoven. Even when the
film is over, certain elements of the plot resolution are
implicit rather than explicit. I think I understand what
happened in the past to drive the events which transpire in the
present, but my understanding is based on several assumptions In reality, the resemblance to Egoyan's film
ends there. If The Sweet Hereafter is all well-scrubbed, polite,
middle-class angst from credible people and situations, I Want You is
all gritty and impoverished Anglotrash despair in some kind of
post-modern fantasy world populated by typical offbeat film characters
and gimmicks. (One of the main characters does not speak and, although
he seems to live in dire poverty, owns all sorts of state-of-the-art
bugging and taping equipment, which he uses for eavesdropping and
recording the comings and goings of other characters, especially when
they are engaged in anything sexual.) The Sweet Hereafter is elegant
and glacial, photographed in stark whites with very little in the way
of gimmicky
lighting or colored filters, and it's backed by somber classical music. I Want You
is all filters all the time, mostly blue hues indoors and amber hues
outdoors, all backed by eerie punk and alternative rock. The director of I
Want You is Michael Winterbottom, a man who is constantly
experimenting with storytelling and cinematic forms. In his later
film, 9 Songs, he filled virtually an entire screenplay with nothing
except explicit sex and musical performances, all presented unedited
and in real time. Sex and performances comprise perhaps 95% of the
running time of that particular movie, with the rest consisting of a simple
framing story in which a man looks back on the sex and concerts as a
way of coming to terms with a key relationship in his past life. I
Want You is sort of a harbinger of 9 Songs, in that it also has a
brief framing story (which seems unnecessary to me) and also includes
some full musical numbers in real time as well as some long, drawn-out sexual
acts, albeit far less explicit ones than in the later movie. Sometimes
the sexuality and music are combined, as when a stripper delivers a
long private performance.
Although the mysteries of the plot are
intriguing, and the film is certainly not a routine commercial effort, you may well find your mind wandering during the
overlong digressions, or distracted by some of the arthouse mannerisms
of the film. I had a problem with those elements, and I also have to
invoke the Siskel Rule, because I didn't enjoy spending time
with any of the four main characters, which in turn made it difficult to care
about their past, present, or future activities. It's a film that I
admired far more than I liked. The film does have some enthusiastic
supporters, however, among those who look for alternative cinema
experiences. For the rest of you: quite a bit of T&A.
Rachel Weisz |
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Dee Dee Menta |
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More Weisz:
It just so happened that Mr Nude Celeb also did some captures
of Rachel Weisz today, this time in Stealing Beauty
Other Crap:
Caddyshack in 30 seconds
re-enacted by bunnies.
Kevin Phillips and
Colbert discuss theocracy.
(Colbert is, of course, in favor of it.)
Chapter One of "Alpha
Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen
Adventure" (If
you have to ask, you probably won't get it.)
The official site of
Ave Maria, Florida
(The Catholic planned community being built
out in the friggin' swamp and former
agricultural area near Naples.)
Colbert's Word for the
day: "Lunchables." America should be
patriotically divided into sanitary
compartments of like-minded citizens.
Colbert Report: All You
Need to Know (News Summary)
Colbert discusses the
Ahmadinejad letter to President Bush
The Daily Show:
"President Bush did not
have sexual relations with that NSA program,
Miss Lewinsky."
Daily Show:
"Presidential
frontrunners stand up for what they think the
people want them to believe in."
The Professional
Cheerleader Blog: "Arena Bowl Dream Team
Selected" Gee,
I wonder who submitted this one?
Tawny Kitaen - then and
now
WHERE'S ALBA? -like
Where's Waldo, except with breasts.
'Da Vinci Code' protests
widespread
This week's movies
(nearly 4000 screens):
Over the Hedge - 83%
positive reviews.
(But based on only six reviews.)
John Rocker has a new
girlfriend - hey, wait a minute ... she's ...
the same woman who wrote that nice article
about him in March and she's ... she's ...
The nicest guy in sports
is .... John Rocker???????
Spacecraft crashed into
satellite, interrupting your Skinemax movie
Sloth bears not too
slothful to attack and eat a monkey as zoo
visitors watch.
Meg Ryan, looking like a
crazy homeless person.
Perhaps she has been studying under Margot
Kidder?
The Weekend Warrior's
prediction for the upcoming weekend's box
office
- He's calling it 75
for DaVinci, 44 for Over the Hedge
- If his numbers
prove correct, the weekend will finish 2-3%
ahead of last year.
Classic TV Theme Songs.
Some of my nostalgic favorites:
Samaire Armstrong
pictures and bio on STUFF MAGAZINE DOT COM
Watch preview clips of
Tom Goes to the Mayor
VIDEO:
CNN cut too early to
President Bush, while he was rehearsing his
speech.
There's no need to
fear,
Oscar nominee Amy Adams
has been added to the cast of Underdog
"Jessica Alba + Eva
Longoria = Double Bikini Action"
WC Fields - The Dentist
"Oops, I did it again"
played on a flaming tuba, accompanied by fire
dancers.
Polish TV Ad involving a
missing vibrator.
NSA Announces New Dating
Service
- "Because NSA has
the exact dimensions of every penis and
vagina in America, a smooth and wonderful
sexual experience is almost guaranteed. This
is something that other dating services
can't begin to offer. You wouldn't believe
the reactions that we got when we
test-marketed this thing!"
OK, Canadians get record
number of Tony nominations, eh?
Breast Augmentation
Before & After - Cosmetic Plastic Surgery
- A couple of these
women had deformed breasts or miniscule
breasts, so the surgery was a wonderful
thing for them, but the sad thing is that
several of them had pretty, perky breasts
before the surgery.
Remember the footage they
showed while the announcer said "the thrill of
victory, the agony of defeat"?
Well, those guys need this clip.
Make your own Bollywood
movie!
The R-rated traile for
Woodenhead.
(You just know this indie movie will be
lovingly crafted, because they spent nearly
five minutes on their website!)
- "If you've ever
wondered what was really going through the
Grimm brothers' minds when they wrote all
those tales of woods and wolves and lost
little girls, well here's your chance to
find out. Welcome to "Woodenhead," a film in
which the subterranean perversions inherent
in any good fairy tale have been brought
rumbling and gushing to the surface."
Keith's brain is normal
and he's 'ready to tour again'
- I have finally
figured this thing out. It's "Gilligan
Syndrome." Remember that when Gilligan had
one encounter with a palm tree, he would
lose his memory, but the second one would
always snap him right back to normal. When
we didn't realize is that Keith fell out of
his first palm tree some 45 years ago, and
this was the long-awaited second one - the
restorative palm tree.
Baseball's greatest
showmen
MANDY MOORE says Wilmer
Valderrama did NOT pop her cherry |
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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Daughter of Darkness (1993)
Daughter of Darkness (1993) or Mie men can an zhi nie sha is a Hong Kong
category three thriller. As the film opens, Mak Wei-Fong (the lovely Lily
Chung) comes into the police station and tells detective Anthony Wong that her
whole family has been murdered. Wong discovers that one of his young
detectives is her boyfriend, and that she did not have a very happy
relationship with her family. Her father was a whoremonger who abused and then
raped his daughter; her mother did nothing but berate her; and her sister and
brother were equally unkind.
The detective begins to suspect that she and the young detective know more
than they are telling. Gradually, the actual story unfolds. The first half of
the film is a comedy, unlikely though it may seem from the premise, with
Anthony Wong as the comedian. When he first investigates the murders, for
instance, he finds Chung's sister in the bath tub. He squeezes her breast to
estimate the time of death, and then sniffs her crotch to see if she had been
raped. He also has a novel method of interrogating suspects by threatening to
shoot them, or taking a plant into another room, and sending him back out
looking like he was beaten senseless. Confessions are remarkably easy to
obtain. I found the first half a little slow going, but this film made up for
it during the last half.
The film was cut in several key scenes for the original Hong Kong release,
but is now nearly completely restored, including the father sticking his big
toe into the hookers crotch, and some of the Lily Chung sex scenes. The
subtitles are coherent, with no glaringly bad translations.
IMDb readers say 5.5. This is a solid genre effort, and hence a C.
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Here are some more clips from the 1993 video, Teasers.
This one involves a couple of guys who find a wallet and use the poor slob's
credit card to hire one stripper after another to come over and strut her stuff.
End of plot. A bunch of B-movie gals did the stripping.
zipped .avis
- Annette Burger (1,
2,
3)
- Holly Spencer (1)
- Lauren Hays (1)
- Melinda Armstrong (1,
2)
- Melody Johnson (1)
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Today would be called a Hankster "Grab Bag" day.
Heather Conforto is a "Babe in Bondage" in
"Hillside Cannibals."
  
and is then attacked
by one of the cannibals, but he never does get her clothes
off.
  
Erica Robey shows breasts in bad light as
one of the cannibals.

Way back when. Elke Sommer with cleavage in
"A Shot in the Dark".
  
Bee Simonds teases but never really shows
much in The Choke.
  
Lila Vlaviano a topless "Babe in Bondage" in
The Choke, but those boobs
have been really screwed up.
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Pat's comments in yellow...
Irish bookmaker Paddy Power, who gets publicity by offering odd bets, hopes
to make Dublin the home of the world's biggest strip poker contest. It started
as an April Fool's joke inspired by the popularity of TV poker tournaments, but
it sparked so much interest, Power already has 100 applicants and is studying to
see if he can host it without being arrested. He said he hasn't decided on a
prize for the winner yet, but "maybe a gold pair of underpants or a golden fig
leaf would be most appropriate." * No, those would be more appropriate prizes
for the losers.
* Women players are not allowed to cover their breasts
with their hands, unless they're playing Texas Hold 'Em.
Jennifer Aniston told the movie magazine Hotdog that she'll never do another
TV series, "not just because I'm above it," but because the work is too grueling
* Also, at a million dollars an episode, the pay sucked
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