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Tuna
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"Mississippi Mermaid"
Mississippi Mermaid (1969) stars Jean-Paul Belmondo and Catherine Deneuve at the top of their game in a film written and directed by François Truffaut. It is based on the novel Waltz Into Darkness by William Irish, who also wrote the novel Rear Window was based on. If the novel sounds familiar, it may be because it was also the source material for the Jolie/Banderos soft core, Original Sin, from 2001. Indeed, it is the same story, except in unimportant details. What follows should be considered a spoiler. If you haven't seen either film, the plot line does contain some surprising twists.
Begin Spoilers
Belmondo owns a cigarette factory on Reunion Island, and is to marry a women he met through personal ads but has never seen. Deneuve shows up, the two are married, and by the time he realizes that she is not the woman he was to marry, se has taken off with all of his money. Seems she and her male partner killed the real fiancee at sea.
Belmondo heads to France, and has a nervous breakdown. While he is recovering, he sees Deneuve, a hostess at a Riviera nightclub, on a TV special. He plans to kill her, but, when in her room alone with her, finds he loves her. He even goes so far as to kill a detective he had hired to keep her out of prison. Now the two are on the run together. She has decided to poison him, but upon learning that he has figured out her plan, but is allowing her to do it, decides she loves him after all.
End Spoilers
Deneuve shows breasts in two well lit scenes. In 1969, she would have been on everyone's 10 most beautiful list, and she gave a very good performance against type. IMDb readers have this at 7.1 of 10. It was not especially well received at the time of its US release, and is thought to be one of Troufaut's weaker efforts, but the US version was butchered by 13 minutes for the initial theatrical release. It was made by a French cast and crew, in France, in French, but according to IMDb is an Italian film. Unfortunately, having seen Original Sin, this original version had no surprises for me, so it was rather a long watch. There is much to observe and admire in Troufaut's approach however. This is a C, much better if you do not know the story going in.
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Catherine Deneuve
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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The Godfather Part III (1990):
The final chapter of the saga features only minimal nudity - a
fleeting glimpse of Bridget Fonda's tuchus
Killing Me Softly (2002):
This is a gimmicky film clip that I picked up. Somebody took one
of those hot sex scenes between Rollergirl and Shakespeare and
placed a portion of it on a repeating loop, so that it's basically
just a tribute to Heather's jiggling bum.
Other Crap:
-
Maverick zillionaire Mark Cuban argues that the RIAA's damage
suits should be limited to five bucks per month.
-
Security Fix: "Before You Fire the Company Geek..."
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BBC announces content download available in pilot market
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IE7 Has Tabbed Browsing
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So when does Jessica do Playboy?
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The All-Time Top 100 Voices in the Movies. It is an
interesting list, and I'm glad he remembered James Mason, but did
he really leave Richard Burton, Morgan Freeman, Gregory Peck, John
Barrymore, Russell Crowe and Richard Harris off the list? They
should probably all be in the top 25 or so. Burton and Peck should
probably be in the top five.
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"Welcome to the website of the Tourism Bureau for the Democratic
People's Republic of Korea." Not really, but it's good
for a few chuckles.
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The Talking Vibrator
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U.S. STUDENTS LEAD WORLD IN STAR WARS KNOWLEDGE ...
Dept. of Education Hails New Test Scores
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The Fantastic Four take on Magic Johnson
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The Daily Show on Cable Coverage of Bloggers
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America in the 1930s Interesting site for you history
and sociology buffs. Lots of good links.
- URL says way too much:
david-hasselhoff.com
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The 50 worst hair styles of all time. How many lists
could include Moe Howard and Thomas Jefferson side by side?
- URL says it all:
CussControl.com
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A clip from Match Point, the new Woody Allen movie
starring Scarlett Johansson.
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A clip from Broken Flowers, the new Jim Jarmusch film
starring Bill Murray
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The Daily Show's Newshunter 2 Game
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Engaged: Comedian David Brenner and Olympic figure skater Tai
Babilonia. David Brenner is straight?
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What more does a film need to be good than a laughing party boy
named Che Guevara and a lesson on geopolitics from Errol Flynn?
A lot more, as it turns out, but it is a very
interesting film, even if not any good.
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Scott Madej Cast as Gambit in X-Men 3 Who?????
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Jessica Alba on the set of the Fantastic Four
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PlayStation 3 is real, baby
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Skeletal Lindsay Lohan says she is overweight
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retroCRUSH: "THE 100 COOLEST POP CULTURE VEHICLES"
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Budweiser employee fired for drinking Coors in public.
- According to Weekly World News,
the top-selling French perfume smells like the farts of a Kentucky
redneck.
- You think North American gremlins are bad?
In Zanzibar, the gremlins sodomize you.
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Italian police have discovered a mob-linked race track where
horses were pumped full of Viagra to fix races.
- I'd love to see those events where everyone is pumped full
of Viagra. Although maybe it would be just like watching a Clint
Eastwood movie. One question, though. If all the horses are
pumped with Viagra, doesn't that cancel out?
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Lars von Trier blasts the dark side of America in his latest film.
- The Danish Ed Wood was his usual self at Cannes, subtle and
nuanced, able to explore all facets of complex issues: "We are a
nation under influence, under very bad influence from America I
would say right now also because I think Mr. Bush is an asshole
and doing a lot of completely idiotic things."
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Bizarre Magazine: "meet Kintana the baby aye-aye".
Spooky-lookin' li'l critter.
- My kind of woman.
Pregnant actress Anna Friel is already planning her first
post-natal nude scene.
- "Pregnant Anna Friel has reportedly agreed to film nude
scenes in her next movie - just three months after giving
birth."
- "Anna is due to start work on a follow up to football film
Goal! in October and promised director Mike Jeffries she'll have
'a bikini figure' by then."
- Least likely celebrity romance ever.
Eva Longoria linked to Hayden Christensen! And he was
not the aggressor! "She was hitting on Hayden, big-time."
- You've probably heard that in Texas we have more registered
guns than people.
These guys are the ones responsible for that ratio. The
video says it is a bachelor party. And, I might add, a very well
armed one, even by Texas standards. Hell this would be a
well-armed bachelor party even by Palestinian standards.
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Vintage Auto Furniture. The site title is confusing. It
isn't actual furniture from cars. It is furniture that LOOKS like
cars. It's easier to "get it" if you just go there.
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Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, as reviewed by The Filthy Critic's
nephew. Part 2
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If Raymond were French, everyone would hate him.
- I'm not sure this study reflects reality. After having lived
overseas for many years, I have to say that I never saw any
genuine anti-French sentiment in Europe. There was some
resentment of the French, but it really seemed to me like
disguised envy.
- The Swedes, for example, may find the French unattractive in
many ways, but it always seemed to me that the Swedes I met
really wanted to be French when they grew up. When I visited
from Norway, I would often hear comments like "we will have a
real lunch here, like in France, not like those primitive
open-faced Norwegian things." Indeed, the Swedes were always
eager to tell me how sophisticated and French they really were,
unlike those country bumpkins in Norway.
- On the other hand, I did find that there is still a lot of
anti-German prejudice in the world. Because I am big and blond
and look like a German, people in Europe and South America
always assume that I am one, and always express their relief
that I am American. Hell, I thank heaven for Germany. It's great
for an American to know that people across the world hate
someone else even more than they hate us!
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Merriam-Webster's Top Ten Favorite Words Not in the Dictionary
"Ginormous" is #1.
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The sexy singer Kylie Minogue has postponed her tour of Australia
after being diagnosed with breast cancer.
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Here is Paris Hilton's naughty burger ad
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The 80s perm has been voted the worst women's hairstyle.
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President Bush's Statement to Armed Forces Personnel Impacted by
Closure of Military Bases Announcing New "Don't Bitch, Don't Moan"
Policy. (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
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Why it's OK to kill woodpeckers!
- And while you are at it, snuff a few mockingbirds
- The ancient Scoopy Indians believed that it is bad karma to
kill a mockingbird, but that can be cancelled out by killing
another mockingbird. Bottom line: whether you go to the Happy or
Unhappy Hunting Ground is entirely dependent on your lifetime
total of mockingbirds killed. Odd number: hell. Even number:
heaven. The other things you do in life are unimportant.
- The Great Spirit is really a stickler for mockingbird
accounting. Why shouldn't He be? After all, he has nothing else
to think about, since the mockingbird count is the only thing
that matters in any man's lifetime.
- My Uncle Florian always envied the people who lived in
mockingbird-free ecosystems, since they were assured eternal
paradise. He was a traveling bird-bath salesman, so he
inevitably came into contact with mockingbirds. But ol' Uncle
Flo thought he had a sure thing anyway, because he came up with
an ingenious plan. He used to keep a caged mockingbird with him
at all times. That way if he accidentally killed a mockingbird,
he could kill his pet to even it out. It seemed like a foolproof
plan, especially when he decided to hang himself while he still
had an even number.
- Unlike most suicide stories, his had a happy ending. He
decided that he had too much to live for, and was able to cut
himself down.
- Unfortunately, he had the bad luck to fall right on the cage
of his pet mockingbird, killing them both instantly.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
links above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Brainscan
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'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Grabbed this extreme strip and wiggle disk entitled
Filthy Rich Girls because Jesse Capelli is in it.
Jesse has used the name Jennifer Leone when she's made
Hollywood movies such as Not Another Teen Movie and
Van Wilder, and she's used the Jesse name when she's
posed for Penthose and done all sorts of fetish
things, if her entry in IMDB is to be believed.
Anyway Jesse is in it and so are a bunch of other gals
and what they do is get dressed up in fancy clothes
and pearls and then take off the fancy clothes...but
not the pearls...and then show off what God or man
done gave them. Everybody shows everything. The
gynocam got quite a workout. The women are terrific
looking and everyhing is nicely lighted and well shot
but of course someone then decided to compress the
shit of the disk so that any movement of the babe or
the camera put motion chatter all over the images, but
I didn't mind editing these frames at all. I
particularly like several of the Jesse things because
they were lovingly constructed from a series of frames
as the camera panned slowly over her body.
In addition to Jesse, a couple of pornstars named
Angel Cassidey and Tanya James show up. Tanya got the
job because she has some resemblance to a real filthy
rich girl. Both of these women show us the goodies at
some length. Tanya, especially. And since she spent
so much time with her legs apart it seemed rude to
walk away without grabbing every frame I could.
Another gal who strips and poses is Jelena Jensen.
She is blessed with quite the set of hooters. And
strutting her stuff is sometime B-movie actress Kira
Eggers. She's got beautiful green eyes and ample
bosom.
No plot here...only nekkid women.
- Jesse Capelli
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- Tanya James
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- Kira Eggers
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- Jelena Jensen
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- Angel Cassidey
And while I am at this, here are a few collages from the movie Erika's Hot Summer, starring 70's uber-babe, Erica Gavin, and former Heffer, Mercy Rooney (aka Merci Montello). Not exactly DVD quality, but plenty good enough to enjoy.
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Variety
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Leelee Sobieski
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Leelee coming extremely close to being topless in scenes from Monday night's amazingly lame TV movie, "Hercules". (Sadly she is wearing modesty patches on her nipples.)
I only caught about 10 minutes of this thing last night, but WOW! Talk about a stink-fest! Bad acting, lame plot and laugh-out-loud bad effects! How did they ever get Leelee or Timothy Dalton to do this?
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Sophie Marceau |
Here's one more look at the "Braveheart" co-star's red carpet oops at Cannes.
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Kate Winslet
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Señor Skin 'caps of the "Titanic" star baring all 3 B's in scenes from "Iris".
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Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
CELEBRITY BEAUTY POLLS
Jolie Has To Kill Her Now - In a poll by the women's magazine Eve,
Catherine Zeta-Jones was chosen as the celebrity with the perfect female
body, beating out Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry. An Eve spokeswoman said
it shows that women prefer stars who combine great beauty with strong
character and independence, and that women can retain their looks and
sexiness after becoming moms.
All they need is a nanny, a hair and makeup staff, a personal stylist
and a $2,000-an-hour trainer.
She keeps having kids, and only her husband looks older.
She has to look hot, or Michael Douglas might dump her for a younger
woman.
Nicole Kidman complained that she has a body like a 12-year-old boy, so
Michael Jackson voted for her.
Jolie Has To Kill All Three Of Them, Too - In an In Touch magazine poll,
readers chose Beyonce as the star with the best curves in Hollywood. She
beat out busty Penelope Cruz at #2 and big-bottomed Jennifer Lopez at #3.
Most Hollywood actresses are so skinny, they don't have curves, they
have angles.
"APPRENTICE" WINNER HAS LOUSY JOB
"The Slave" - Newsweek reported that the second "Apprentice" winner Kelly
Perdew is now working in a tiny, windowless office next to Trump's wife
Melania's assistant, and spends most of his day promoting Donald Trump. So
does the first "Apprentice" winner, Bill Rancic.
Everyone who works for Donald Trump spends most of his day promoting
Donald Trump.
Just to torture them, Trump comes in once a day and says, "You're NOT
fired!"
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A quick site note
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Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.
If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!
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