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TV Recap
Da
Vinci's Demons
was a little off its
game this week, offering
only a brief glimpse of
Lara
Pulver's right
breast.
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* Yellow
asterisk:
funny (maybe).
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*
White
asterisk:
expanded
format.
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* Blue
asterisk: not
mine.
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No
asterisk: it
probably
sucks.
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OTHER
CRAP:
Catch
the deluxe
version of
Other Crap in
real time,
with all the
bells and
whistles, here.
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Night of the Beast
1993
Clips
and collages from some
rotting driftwood of a
movie sometimes called
Night of the Beast and
sometimes Lukas'
Child. Here are the
reasons to nominate it as
a bottom ten stinker - 1)
The lead actor, an old guy
with a few teeth missing,
is simply the worst
performer in the history
of cinema. How
someone can simultaneously
underact and overact is a
mystery but this guy hits
it. His delivery is
either wooden or
over-caffeinated, often in
quick succession.
Some folks IMDb praise him
but that has to be his mom
writing the review.
He blows and he is on
screen all the fricking
time. 2) A bunch of gals
show up in one role or
another and wind up in
lingerie, get to speak a
few lines (badly... real
badly) as potential
victims of a winged
humanoid creature called
The Child, but they add
nothing to the plot.
And they don't get nekkid
so they add nothing there
either; 3) The police are
idiots, with deductive
skills akin to those of
Officer Barbrady from
Southpark, but their
stupidity is not played
for laughs or irony - it
simply must be for the
movie to continue. I
hate that crap. So
in the end a few veterans
of the Funhouse get down
to some level of
undress. Lisa
Comshaw does, as one of
three women who beds the
chief detective, even
though they are parts of
the investigation.
Toni Alessandini sort of,
kind of shows off the
hooties in ritual dance of
some sort but get this -
it is the same
performance/dance that
showed up a year earlier
in a movie entitled Mind,
Body and Soul (Tuna's caps
are in the
Encyclopedia).
Former pornstar Jacqueline
St Claire (she is called
Jacqueline Gorman in this
movie) shows off some T
and a little A. Then
there are the
one-time-wonders.
Elizabeth Young strips
down, talks on the phone
and takes a shower, all
the while showing off one
rockin' bod. And
Jacqueline Moen shows off
her mighty-fines while
demonstrating her own
style o' acting, which
incorporates mouth agape
with eyes a-bug.
Look out Meryl Streep.
Today's
clip: Jacqueline
Gorman (aka Jackie
St Claire)
BONUS: Ms St Claire seen
elsewhere
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This week,
the movies come
from 1983 - 1984.
The quality and
standard are the
usual wide
variety.
Baby it's You
Rosanna Arquette
is topless in Baby
it's You (1983),
although it's not
the best quality.
Liane Curtis is in
her underwear.
Beverly Hills
Cop
An unknown
stripper is
topless in Beverly
Hills Cop (1984).
The Big Chill
The Big Chill
(1983) shows Glenn
Close naked in a
shower.
There are pokies
by Mary Kay Place,
and Meg Tilly is
very sexy.
Chained Heat
Linda Blair in film
clips from
her two nude
scenes in this
flick. In one
of them she
joins a host
of naked
beautues in
the shower. In
the other she
tries
unsuccessfully
to fend off
the brutal,
unwanted
attention of
Dean Wormer.
The still
images from
this film,
featuring
Blair and many
other women,
can be found
in yesterday's
page.
Cheech and
Chong Still
Smokin'
Cheech and Chong
Still Smokin'
(1983) is not good
quality but has a
naked Linnea
Quigley
and some others
not topless.
City Heat
Madeline Kahn is
sexy in City Heat
(1984).
Conan the
Destroyer
No real nudity in
Conan the
Destroyer (1984)
but Grace Jones,
Olivia D'Abo
and Sarah Douglas
are looking very
good.
Crackers
Crackers (1984)
has Christine
Baranski in her
underwear.
Deathstalker
Lots of breasts on
show in
Deathstalker
(1983) by some
ample women: Barbi
Benton,
Lana Clarkson
and plenty not
identified.
Double
Exposure
Double Exposure
(1983) has some
nudity by Joanna
Pettet,
Sally Kirkland
and Teressa Macky.
Kathy Shower and
Kim Scrier do some
mud wrestling.
Debbie Zipp,
 '
Jeana Tomasina,
Misty Rowe,
Victoria Jackson
and Jan Mussetter
look good.
Gorky Park
Joanna Pacula is
topless in Gorky
Park (1983).
I have included a movie of Joanna's
action
(summary below)
Jaws 3-D
No nudity but Lea
Thompson is sexy
in Jaws 3-D
(1983).
Mickey
Spillane's Mike
Hammer Murder
Me, Murder You
There's
never any
nudity in any
of the Mike
Hammer shows
and Mickey
Spillane's
Mike Hammer
Murder Me,
Murder You
(1983) is no
different.
However, there
is the usual
cleavage by
Delta
Burke,
Lisa Blount,
Randi Brooks,
Tanya Roberts
and some not
identified.
Smokey and the
Bandit Part 3
Veronica Gamba
and some women not
identified in
Smokey and the
Bandit Part 3
(1983) are
topless.
The Wild Life
Plenty of nudity
in The Wild Life
(1984), although
not good quality.
The women are:
Ashley St. Jon,
Jenny Wright
(possible body
double),
Kitten Natividad,
Tracy Hutchinson.
There are some
other sexy women:
Lea Thompson,
Sherilyn Fenn,
Brynja Willis and
Leigh Lombardi,
and one not
identified.
Yentl
Yentl (1983) has
an interesting
looking Barbra
Streisand.
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