Octavia (2002) -- Perhaps the information from Felix in Madrid is all you need to know about this film:

"Boring as hell. Very talkie. Letterbox. No subtitles. Menh-Wai Trinh was a TV anchor. I like her face and her voice and never figured I’ld see her nude in a film. Don’t get it unless you find the nudity appealing."

Everything he said was true, and the one reviewer at referenced at IMDb also thought it was entirely too talky. However, the images of a nude Menh-Wai Trinh were too good for me to pass up. She seems to be the daughter of a career spy, and a wife who was raped while masquerading as a nun. Beyond that, the story is pretty much a mystery to me. Trinh shows breasts and buns nude sunbathing, then breasts and bush doing a Lady Godiva. The few times I switched to normal speed, the film seemed to be a 50/50 mix of narration and conversations over coffee. I doubt that there is much danger of this coming to US screens. It seems to have had a theatrical release in Spain, and appeared at three festivals, including one in Canada. IMDb readers have this at 7.9 based on only 7 votes, and that is in a two year period. Although it is a letterbox transfer, it does look very good. It would be unfair of me to grade this film without understanding the dialogue, especially as it is mostly dialogue. At any rate, enjopy the images.

Cock & Bull Story (2001)

This film used to be known as Southside.

SPOILERS

I'll be damned if I can figure out why anyone made this movie. We start out with the usual boxing movie about the poor kid using boxing to break free from poverty. His career is just starting to get noticed, he's getting some good bouts, and he's attracting the attention of Mr Big.

Nothing new so far, right?

Now here's the rub, so to speak. Whenever he gets in the clinches with another fighter and starts rubbing other manly flesh, he gets a hard-on. It really excites him.

Other boxers notice. Word hits the street.

All of the guys in the neighborhood have heard, and are writing stuff like "Rocky sucks dick" on the walls. Rocky's best buddy from the 'hood doesn't take kindly to this affront to his main man, so he starts to kill pretty much everyone in the neighborhood by hitting them with a lead pipe. Hoo, boy, is he steamed when he finds out that Rocky really does like to smoke the White Owl, after Lead Pipe Guy had gone and killed more innocent bystanders than Lt Calley. The local cops are kinda upset by the whole crazy murder-spree thing as well.

Actually, to be serious for a sec, the whole sexual preference issue is left unresolved. The boxer either is not really interested in guys, or can't admit it to himself, or something. Tough guys from his part of New Jersey don't admit this kind of thing, not even to themselves. In fact, there is some suggestion that the murderous best friend guy may derive his homophobia from latent homosexuality of his own, but none of this is developed very deftly.

In fact, a lot of things are left unresolved when this film ends, and I found the ending completely unsatisfying in many ways.

Look for some interesting cameos. (1) Remember Mary Hartman's husband from three decades ago? The character was played by Greg Mullavey, and he's in this movie as the boxer's crusty old trainer! I recognized his voice, but had no idea who he was. I haven't seen him in years, maybe decades. His appearance is completely different now. (2) Kay Lenz is trying to mount a movie comeback, and she has a small role in this film as the boxer's mom. (MILF!!)

Guess who wrote and directed this film? Billy Hayes.

Think. Dig deep into your memory. You know who he is.

Remember the movie Midnight Express? No, Billy didn't write or direct or star in it. It was about him! (He did write the book on which it was based.) The entire Turkish prison experience of Midnight Express was based on an actual period in the life of this same Billy Hayes. In the 25 years or so between writing that book and this script, he had no other writing credits. His most interesting acting credit was in a film called Shakespeare's Plan 12 From Outer Space. I suppose that is where he met Kay Lenz, who also acted in that esteemed cinema classic. (I haven't seen it, but I want to!)

• Wendy Fowler (1, 2, 3)

The Reagans (2003) 

This is the controversial CBS mini-series that never got aired because of conservative backlash.

Although it isn't really my kind of project, and has nothing to do with nudity, I watched it because I was curious about whether it was a hatchet job. I guess I still don't know the answer because I don't remember all the arguments and counter-arguments from that era, but I can at least share with you what kind of Reagan family is pictured here.

Unlike most of the people who have become President since Truman, the Ronald Reagan pictured here was a decent man. He really believed in right and wrong, and he believed that if he made a mistake he should own up to it, like the good guys in the movies from his era. He was not very good at discussing personal feelings, but he was clear about what he believed in. He wanted to do the right things for the country and the world, even if those things were not the right things for Ronald Reagan.

He wasn't a dirty politician. The worst thing he said about Jimmy Carter was completely fair - he asked the American public to look deep inside their hearts and ask whether they were better off at the end of Carter's term than at the beginning. He then said that if people thought their lives had improved in Carter's years, then they should vote for Carter, but if not ...

That's how he got to be President. He was a sincere, old-fashioned man, unlike the jaded cynics who dominate the world of politics. People listened to him, believed him, liked him. Just like in the movies.

That was the positive side of the profile. On the negative side, he was dumber than any of his co-stars, including Bonzo. His obtuse mind, coupled with his black and white sense of right and wrong, led him to make broad, simplistic conclusions lacking in nuance and analysis.

Frankly, that is probably a fairly accurate picture of Mr Reagan. His supporters want to spin the man by saying that he approached problems with clarity of purpose. Those who disagreed with him said that he was simply dumber than a box of rocks, and that his clarity derived from simple-minded preconceptions. If you want to take a balanced view, I offer this: the most important part of the job of President of the United States is to offer leadership and direction. He does not need to be a political genius and a policy wonk like Clinton and Nixon, nor does he need to grasp any issues with any depth of understanding. He is the captain of a great ship. His job is to decide where to sail that ship, not to hoist the sails. In his position, he can hire anyone he cares to hire, including plenty of people smart enough not to raise the mainsail on the mizzenmast. Whatever that means.

As pictured here, Reagan's simple weltanschauung led him to make some bad judgments without due consideration. The line that got this film into trouble with conservatives was "those who live in sin shall die in sin". Reagan was pictured saying that in response to the AIDS crisis in 1985 or 86. He never said that. It was a fictionalization. Conservatives called it "a lie".

That's politics.

They were right, of course. It was a lie, or a fictionalization, if you prefer.

What the conservatives didn't tell you is that what Reagan really said on the subject was worse, and far more insensitive. The fictionalization was actually a whitewash, but the conservatives spun it as a slander!

That's politics.

Reagan actually said, on May 27, 1989, "Maybe the Lord brought down this plague - illicit sex is against the Ten Commandments." Of course, he had left office by then, but it's reasonable to conclude that he must have said similar things in 1985 and 86.

As for Nancy Reagan, she is pictured here as Machiavellian, which is in line with the general perception of her. At one annual press club roast, a wag remarked, "we're here in honor of the most powerful person in Washington, and I'm glad to see she brought her husband with her". If you look at the Reagans as a team, the way they are pictured here made them a good two-headed President. Ron set the agenda and handled the charm and decency. Nancy worked behind the scenes to see that things really got done the way Ron wanted them done. He had the vision, she had the smarts and will. I don't know if that is really accurate or not, but it rings true to me.

Setting aside the accuracy issue, which I have not studied, is The Reagans a good movie? Not bad. It's at least an above average made-for-TV project. James Brolin and Judy Davis do a good job in the leads, and the structure of the film is interesting enough that I was able to negotiate the three hours without any boredom. I found it an interesting look back at the Reagan years, but nothing really to merit the controversy it engendered. Contrary to the official conservative line, I ended up thinking of the Reagans as real people, and liking them far more than I did before I watched the film.

No nudity

OTHER CRAP:

• Dodgeball Mania! Adults find exercise in an old playground favorite.
• Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - check out "New Trailer B"
• Traditional marketing methods are not working on jaded Gen Y.
• Lindsay Lohan paparazzi - in this one her boob escaped completely.
• The Big Unit fires a perfect game. Randy Johnson - 40 years old - became the oldest pitcher ever to throw a perfecto, breaking the record set 100 years ago by Cy Young. It was only the 17th perfecto in history, the 15th since the end of the nineteenth century, and the only one in this century.
• Andy Kaufman Fails To Rise From The Dead
• Now here is our kind of article. The top ten worst smelling celebrities! Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe swept 1-2, no surprise there, but I was surprised to see Drew Barrymore off the list. (Courtney Cox was the top female)
• Voting Time Doubled for 'American Idol' Finale
• The trailer from Thomas Jane's new film, Stander: "'Stander' is based on the true story of Andre Stander, a South African homicide/robbery police captain who became one of the most notorious bank robbers in the country. After participating in the brutal killing in a riot in the line of duty, Stander decided to defy the very system he was part of, and set off on an audacious crime spree; robbing banks during his lunch hour then returning to the scene of the crime to lead the investigation. Finally, caught by the same police force he worked with, he was jailed. After a daring jailbreak, the 'Stander Gang' committed a large number of robberies, which grew increasingly bold over time. In the eyes of the public, their blatant disregard for authority made them South Africa's most popular anti-heroes. In reality, however, Stander and his gang were the most wanted men in the country."
• 6 clips from Kate Hudson's latest presumed crap-o-rama, Raising Helen.
• Wedding bells for J-Lo and Smarty Jones: "The marriage will be her third and his first, according to the Hollywood Reporter and The Daily Racing Form."
• The trailer for Collateral: "The film takes place on a single night. After a cabbie picks up a passenger, he and his car are taken hostage as a killer travels around Los Angeles to conduct his business. Cruise will play the lead role of a contract killer. Jamie Foxx plays Max, the meek cab driver.
• Schwarzenegger sues bobblehead doll maker. Why is Arnold different from Kerry or Bush? I guess his legal point is that many people think the Arnold bobblehead dolls are the real Schwarzenegger.
• Quentin Tarantino named an "Officer of Arts and Letters" by the country of France
• Breast-baring was popular in England and the Netherlands in the 1600s
• Nostalgia: Play Dark Tower online
• Despite the Oscars, Tom Hanks Gives Himself a C
• A new trailer for King Arthur
• JoBlo does Cannes, Part 6
• A "behind the scenes" featurette about The Village
• The trailer for Beautiful Country : "'Beautiful Country' follows the story of Binh, a shy Vietnamese man in his 20s who embarks on a personal journey with a young beautiful woman, Ling, aboard a refugee ship to America in search of a better life and Binh's estranged American father."
• Trailer for In My Country - a new John Boorman drama, starring Juliette Binoche and Samuel L., taking place in South Africa.
• A new TV spot for The Chronicles of Riddick
• Jon Stwewart's commencement address at William and Mary college.
• An evening with Courtney Love
• Low-Carb Diets Can Cause Bad Breath
• Blind Date, Lederhosen, and me. Deep inside the world of reality dating shows!
• URL says it all: BitchHitMyTruck.com
• If some guy can make special effects this good on his home computer, how do you explain the $150 million Van Helsing CGI crapfest?
• WTF??? Set other peoples' Away Messages!
• URL says it all: DialAnOrgasm.com
• Five cities make the short list for 2012 Olympics London, Madrid, Moscow, Paris and (oddly enough) Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. Or not.
• Choose Your Own New York Adventure!
• A drunk asked a man to 'step outside' for a fight. Only one problem. He was on an airplane.
• France: 'We Surrender Forever!': "French President Jacques Chirac has announced a plan for France to surrender retroactively in all of history's previous wars, and to preemptively surrender to all potential enemies in future armed conflicts."
• Camper van thief siphons off raw sewage instead of diesel. The would-be thief missed the fuel tank in the dark and put a tube into the van's septic tank by mistake.
• Soccer star caught in sex sting
• French 35-hour week 'a disaster'. The finance minister said that the French had to go back to pretending to work 40 hours a week instead of the current 35.
• Trannies eligible for Olympics
• Indian casting director seeks short people for new hobbit movie
• Avril Lavigne has explained why her lyrics are so angry: she's eating too many carbs. Geez, so if I go on Atkins, I might write some nice shit about Gigli.
• No flying cars yet, but T-shirt TVs are here
• Shannon Sharpe to replace Neon Deion on CBS
• ESPN.com's Offseason NFL Overview This week: the Cardinals and the Niners.
• Is there any way to save "Star Wars: Episode III"?
• Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon are to star as the late Johnny Cash and his wife June Carter. James Mangold (Girl Interrupted) will direct.
• Turns out God CAN hit a 2-iron.
• Mouseketeer HQ paparazzi - bikini
• Tony Randall dies, assigned a sloppy roommate in heaven. Tony was 84, had two kids, 7 and 5!!
• American consumers spent $449.5 million on online relationship services in 2003. That's nearly a 50% increase over the previous year, and accounts for about a quarter of all online commerce.
• Lindsay Lohan walking. A short clip from Mean Girls.
• John Kerry is Gargamel
• The long-awaited final Star Wars blockbuster will be called Birth Of The Empire, movie insiders have revealed.
• U.S. TO LEAVE IRAQ JUNE 30, but RETURN JULY 1. Bush Announces "Operation Iraqi Re-freedom"

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Classics

• I think this is Sherrie Wilson's (Walker, Texas Ranger) only nudity, from Past Tense  (.avi, .wmv)

• Here's the rest of Annette O'Toole's nudity in Cat People, in the locker room before the swimming pool scene. Nice quality, and this is the clearest breast exposure of O'Toole's career.  (.avi, .wmv)

• Annette Bening in The Grifters. This pre-DVD clip is a bit too dark. (.avi, .wmv)

• Juliette Binoche in Damage (.avi, .wmv)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

• Angelina Jolie
• Rosanna Arquette

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

Today's stuff includes edits of things posted on Tuesday plus a couple of other fine-looking women.

• Hudson Leick, the Evil Callisto apparently paying tribute to Daryl Hannah in "Splash". There is some wonderful cleavage and maybe even a partial nipple view if you stare long enough.

• Jessica Simpson...another look at the the pop-starlet's cleavage and subtle nipple sighting during a recent stage appearance.

• "Star Wars" star Natalie Portman looking quite lovely.

• Rachel Hunter, the Kiwi actress and former Mrs. Rod Stewart showing off a truck load of cleavage.

• Tara Reid out in public with several buttons left undown on her blouse.

• Victoria Beckham, sunbathing topless.

Tereza Brettschweiderova
and
Kristyna Simova

Jessica Böhrs

Molly Schade

• Kim Yates, the cute, blonde and non-silly-coned former flight attendant and Vegas Showgirl in some pseudo-sex scenes. Toplessness in all of these, plus brief views of the other two B's in links 1-7.
  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)

• Kim Yates .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

"Japanese Story"
This excellent 2003 Australian drama starts out as a love story, but about halfway through, turns into something else. A female geologist takes a visiting Japanese businessman on a tour of the desert to see mining areas. Unfortunately, they hate one another, at least at first. Then, romance blooms.

What happens next turns this film into an excellent drama, with an absolutely outstanding acting job turned in by Toni Collette. While I won't reveal the ending, I will highly recommend the movie. It is very slow paced, but still watchable and intriguing, with a gripping ending.

• Toni Collette

DRUNKEN STRIPPER FOUND IN COCKPIT
Write Your Own "Cockpit" Joke - Security is under scrutiny at the Aberdeen, Scotland, airport after a drunken lapdancer was found passed out in the cockpit of a plane. Soraya Wilson thinks she had a fight with her boyfriend, drank too much, went looking for a place to sleep, and somehow ended up at the airport. She apparently slipped past guards and police, scaled a barbed wire fence, boarded a jet and fell asleep, all while wearing nothing but a skimpy top and a G-string. She was let off with a warning. She said, "If I can break into a a major airport, what chance have they got catching terrorists?"